Blinded love
Chapter 1
Epov
I can't take no more, I have to go back to her. I to go out the door of my house, but what if she has moved in. my angel, she could have found so one else.
I turn around and shut the door And sit back on the sofa. but what if she hasn't, what if she is all alone waiting for me.
I get back up, and start pacing back and forth, trying to sort out the things in my head.
I did say I would never come back, and that I didn't want her anymore, oh god what if she believed me.
I am walking at vampire speed now and to a human I would look like a blur.
she might forgive me and take me back, even if I have to grovel, I will. I'll do anything, I have missed my love so much.
I grab my jacket and head for the door.
This I actually go through it and shut it behind me.
if she has a new life, I'll…I'll… just have to move on to, but what if I can't, what if I upset her so much I ruin her new life as well. I'm a mess without her.
I didn't relise, I was so deep in thought that I am now standing outside bella's house, I look around me, how did I get here, oops I must have ran.
it must be about 7:00 in the morning, Bella, my angel will be getting up at this moment. I climb up the tree outside her window and pier, I make sure she doesn't see me.
oh god there she is if my heart could beat, it would be racing right now, I place my hand over my dead, cold heart, It belongs to you, Bella always and forever, even if you don't want it.
the last thought saddened me, I felt a wretching pain in my chest and a unsettling feeling in my stomach.
I hope she can forgive me, I love her so much. I watch as she collects her things and heads out of the room, the way she moves is different, like she is taking more care of herself, good thing too she was always so clumsy and she didn't help by racing around all the time.
I heard the shower turn on and imaged her in the shower, the water running down her soft, pale skin.
I snapped out of my thoughts as I heard Charlie coming up the stairs. " Bella" he knocked lightly on the bathroom door.
So soft but I still heard it, then I heard her beautiful voice. " yes, dad" " um… do you remember I was going to go fishing today, but if you want me to stay I will" " no dad you go enjoy you self, I am just going to rest and maybe do a bit of work." " okay bella, I'll see you tonight, I put you something to eat in the microwave, you just need to warm it up and I'll put Cooper in your room okay" " yeah thanks dad"
I heard Charlie coming towards bella's room, he opened the door and I saw a gold dog follow him in.
weird Bella never had a dog before, maybe for company I shrugged it off and watched as Charlie moved around her room picking clothes off the floor and made her bed.
Then he checked the floor for anything else. okay so they are being really careful with her clumsiness, her bedroom floor has never been so tidy.
I patted the dog on the heard and told it to look after her, then he shut the door behind him and a few minutes later I heard the cruiser pull out the drive and sped away.
I then heard Bella coming back into her room, she was fully clothed with hair tied back in a low pony tail.
I still hadn't seen her face yet and now I was getting impatient, I wanted to see her. I decided to make myself known now, she had just put a pair of dark sunglasses on okay, but the sun isn't even out today.
I climbed through her open window and as soon as I was in, that dog started barking and growling at me.
" wh…wh…who's there?" she said in a shaky voice, she didn't turn around to look at me though.
" Bella" I said cautiously, I didn't want to frighten her. As soon as I spoke she gasped and her hand went to cover her mouth more in shock I think, I was probably the last person she thought to be standing behind her.
" Edward, is it really you?" she sounded like she didn't believe her own ears, like it couldn't be me and that hurt.
" yes Bella, it's me" still didn't turn to look at me, she just stood there with her back to me, I started to move forward, but that stupid dog was growling and look like it might attack.
" whoa boy, hey Bella could you please call off the dog." " uh, what oh cooper, bed now" the dog went and sat in a basket in the corner next to Bella's bed, she sounded like she was in a dream world.
I moved to stand in front of so I could see her beautiful face.
She just stood there frozen, she didn't even look at me, she looked past me.
I moved my hand so I could remove her shades, when she realised what I was going to do ,she pulled away " no, no Edward don't" I looked at her confused but she still was staring at the wall.
" bella, please look at me" she scoffed and looked away like I was missing out on something.
" bella, do I disgust you that much you can't even look me in the eye anymore" she gasped at my comment.
She reached her hand forward and she found my stomach and her fingers travelled up my chest until she found my face.
It was strange she had never done this before, but it was like she was tracing my face with her fingers but still looking at nothing.
I grabbed her hand and placed a small kiss in the palm, this made her heart race and her checks to blush.
" bella, I love you and have never stopped, please will you accept my apology and take me back, if you can bear it."
I studied her face, well what I could see of it, she still had her glasses in place, they were so dark how does she even see out of them.
That's when I saw a single tear run from under the glasses and down her face.
Why was she crying.
I reached up and caught the tear on my finger and brought it to my mouth, it tasted amazing.
" Angel why do you cry?" " oh Edward, I knew you would come back one day" this gave me hope " but…. I 'm not the same girl you left 6 months ago, a lot has happened and I don't know if you would still want me, I have changed so much I don't deserve you, no more than I deserved you before you left, I just wasn't meant to be."
that hurt all my built up hope came falling down and there was nothing left.
" what you mean is I'm not good enough for you, I know you are right why should a monster ever have the love an angel like yourself can offer. I knew you were to good to be true, but I thank you for all the times we did have together you made me really happy."
I turned to leave and was just have way out the window when she spun around to try and catch me, she knocked off her glasses and they fell to the floor.
" NO" she screamed and that got my attention. I looked back and saw her standing facing me, with her glasses on the floor and she had her hand over her eyes, like she was trying to hide from me.
She didn't bother to bend down and pick them up, they were just at her feet.
Bpov
(AN these are Bella's thoughts while Edward is talking to her and she just stands there and listens, this is what goes through her mind)
What is Edward doing here in my room.
This can't be happening, he can't see me like this, no.
I just keep standing here, not looking anywhere and he wants to know why I won't look at him.
If only he knew.
He thinks he disgusts me, far from it really, but I can't speak, I'm not the same any more he won't want me I'm broken now and can't be fixed.
" Bella, I love you and have never stopped, please will you accept my apology and take me back, if you can bear it."
I can bear you and always will, the question is will you be able to bear me, no I don't think so, I will never be loved again and I have now accepted that.
a tear must have broke from my dead eyes, because he caught it on my cheek and took it into his mouth. you wouldn't do that if you knew where it come from.
" Angel why do you cry?" why do I cry because the love of my life will never want me if he see me now, no I want him try remember me the way I was, at least I wasn't broken then.
I had to say something so he would think I no longer wanted him, god this is going to break my heart all over again.
" oh Edward, I knew you would come back one day but…. I 'm not the same girl you left 6 months ago, a lot has happened and I don't know if you would still want me, I have changed so much I don't deserve you, no more than I deserved you before you left, it just wasn't meant to be."
and there goes the heart smashed into a thousand pieces I'm not sure I can recover this time but that is my problem, Edward deserves someone better.
" what you mean is I'm not good enough for you, I know you are right why should a monster ever have the love an angel like yourself can offer.
I knew you were to good to be true, but I thank you for all the times we did have together you made me really happy."
oh god no I'm no angel you deserve a angel and I'm defiantly not one of those.
he turned to leave and I wanted to tell him he was no monster.
When I spun around I knocked my glasses off and they fell to the floor.
"NO" I screamed and I felt his gaze on my face and I had to cover my eyes with my hand, no this can't be happening he nearly was gone forever never to look at this scarred face, but now he was moving towards me.
I made a small whimper of protest as he pried my fingers from my face.
This god should not see such horrors.
Epov
I walked over to her, she was hiding something.
I pried her fingers away from her face and that's when I saw it. My beautiful Bella's face was scarred, and she was blind too.
I gasped in horror, how could this have happened.
When I let go of her hand she hastily dropped to the floor and searched for her glasses.
I bent down and picked them up for her and gave them to her.
" thanks" she muttered and turned away from me.
" bella, Angel what happened ?" that's when she busrt in to tears.
I went over to her and wrapped my arms around her.
" sweetheart please tell me" she tried to stop the sobs but she was shaking with grief now.
And then she started her story.