CHAPTER 1

I am not shocked easily, I mean when your best friend is a spirit wielding vampire who brought your boyfriend back from being a strigoi it takes a lot to shock you. At this moment I was totally completely taken with a number of emotions shock being the first. I stare at myself in the mirror wondering what am I going to do. How could this even happen. I read the instructions on the pregnancy test box for the hundredth time hoping that something will be different that somehow I screwed this test up and it is showing a false positive.

Damphir can't procreate with each other it doesn't work that way. Something to do with our genes. Yet there it is he the two little lines as clear as day stating that I Rose Hathaway teenage guardian and total rule breaking bad ass is going to be a mom.

I was not completely sure how I felt about my belief in god but at that moment I was sure he hated me. I mean if being accused of killing the Moroi queen was not proof of that, this sealed the deal.

I stood there for ten more minutes thinking what I could possibly do when I heard the door open and close in the living room. "Shit" I whispered. Dimitri was home and there was no way I could tell him this right now. I didn't know how this could have happened and I couldn't handle having to explain it to him.

I walked to the kitchen and wrapped my arms around him. "hey comrade" i teased. He turned around and kissed me gently. "Hi Roza" he sighed my name like it was a breathe of fresh air. I could tell by his expression and tone there was something bothering him. "what's wrong, what happened" I asked concerned. I didn't like seeing him upset. "I got a letter from my mother" he said handing me a letter that was written in Russian. I was confused because Dimitri adored his mother. She was hard not to the two times I had met her were amazing she really was one of the sweetest people I had ever met. Yet he sounded so upset. "is she ok, I can't read this you know" i said trying to lighten the mood."My mother informed me that Viktoria is pregnant. I can't believe she would be so irresponsible she is just a teenager. How could she throw her life away like that." he said is a rush.

I felt like I had been slapt in the face. I know his reaction was towards his sister who was younger than I was but it still felt like his reaction was geared toward me. All my fears came back to me. His words kept playing in my head like knives. I must have had an awful look on my face because Dimitri stopped talking and was asking me what was wrong.

"Nothing" I replied " I just can't believe it, she is so young, how far is she? who is the father?"

Dimitri still looked concerned but finally said " she is four weeks and I am not sure about the father yet. I am going to call my mother shortly and ask she what is going on.I love you Roza" He walked into the bathroom and I could hear the water to the shower start running. I was still standing by the sink thinking about this news. Four weeks that is how far along she was. I realized I couldn't stay in this room right now there was one person I needed to talk to right now and for once it wasn't Dimitri. "I am going to run and talk to Lissa for a little bit. I love you" I yelled as I ran out the door. I didn't hear a response from the porch but couldnt wait a minute more. I drove to court stopping at a cafe to pick up two Chai coffees because I had a feeling that this was going to be a long night.

I entered the Royal palace where my best friend who happened to be the new queen lived. She was attending college near by but was home now. I walked to her library where I saw her sitting behind a desk reading. "hey your majesty" I teased. I knew she hated when we used her formal title so of course we did it every chance we got. "Rose I swear one day I am going to punch you for calling me that. Not today though I am actually happy to see you." She said teasing. "What are you reading?" I asked as I picked up the book she was reading. "just homework for school. Calculous" she said as if taking it was no big deal. "so I have something I needed to talk to you about, but I don't know how to." i said lamely. "I mean I know how to but Oh god how am I supposed to get through this." I realized I was rambling. "What is it Rose, you know you could tell me anything. " She said looking really worried. " I have been feeling really sick lately which is weird right so I was like just for kicks I was going to take a test and was sure nothing would come of it but then it did and now I don't know what to do." I said in a rush as if that would make it easier. "Wait test like math test?" Lissa said little confused.

"why would I take a math test? I am pregnant Lissa and I don't know how and what I am going to do." I cried.

lissa sat there with the same look I stared at in the mirror earlier. "Pregnant" she said at last."wow" was all that she said. I couldn't handle it I snapped " wow is fucking right, how is this even possible I mean no we didn't use condoms but that's because it is genetically impossible for this to happen. We are both damphir there is no need for birth control hell we are birth control."

"Calm down Rose,we will figure this out. Obviously this somehow happened because of spirit." Lissa tried to reason with me.

"spirit?" I asked confused

"well think about it Spirit healed both you and Dimitri perhaps it also healed whatever defect made it to where you two could not procreate." she explained. "Its really fascinating. What did Dimitri say about it?" she asked. I looked at her with a guilty look on my face not saying a word. "He doesn't know Rose how can you come and tell me something like this when he doesn't even know?" she shouted. "I couldn't tell him. I didn't know what to say what if he thinks that it was someone else's baby, then he found out that his 17 year old sister is pregnant and was so upset and said she was throwing her life away. What if that is his reaction I don't think I could handle it." I said through the sobs that began to push through.

Lissa stood up and pulled me to the love seat in the room while I cried. She didn't say anything else just held me while I let out what I had been holding back for the last hour. Finally when I was calmed down she said "You have to talk to Demetri. He loves you and he deserves to know." "What if he doesn't believe me what if he thinks I was lying about Adrian, I can't not right now Liss and you cant say anything either" I cried.

The phone rang at that moment and Lissa hurried over and answered "Hello, Oh hey Dimitri" She said "Yeah Rose is here…..Oh she did…..Yeah she is ok she is just helping me with homework…..Even a queen needs assistance…...I will talk to you soon Bye." She hung up and looked at me "He said you left your phone and he was worried about you."

I just looked at her. What was I going to say what could I say at that moment. Like always no words or bond was needed Lissa knew what I was feeling. She hugged me again and I left to go back and face the love of my life.

I don't know how long I was sitting in the car before Dimitri finally came out of the house. I could tell I was still a mess but at least the redness under my eyes was faded and not as noticeable. I shut off the car and walked up to the porch and looked at Dimitri he was so perfect, so amazing and gracious. In that moment I felt so unworthy of this man. How could I do this to him, take away his life with a burden like kids. I will be the first to admit that children have never been apart of my life plan. I didn't really like them and never wanted to have any of my own.

"Are you coming in?" he asked me. "yeah let's go inside I am tired." i said trying to sound normal and failing miserably. Lissa was right I would have to tell him sometime he is going to know something was wrong with me.

I walked into the living room and froze sitting on the table was the box and test that I had forgotten in the bathroom like an idiot. He knew I mean who else could have put it in there. I could lie I thought quickly say it was a friends. I soon decided against that and sat down. I could look at him as she sat in the chair opposite me. I was so ashamed. I couldn't speak I just sat there with my head down.

"So uhm is there anything you want to talk to me about" he said a little shy. "I want you to know that I love you and what you did before we were together will not affect that." he continued in the same quiet tone. At first I was confused then realized that I was right he was thinking that the baby was Adrians. Of course he did how else would a dhampir end up pregnant. I was still at a loss for words how could I convince him that this was some magic spirit pregnancy and not Adrian's baby.

"please Rose" he snapped "I am trying to be calm and understanding but I need you to say something."

"I can't" I cried "Dimitri you are the only person I have ever had sex with." Now he was looking at me and not saying anything I knew he didn't believe me so I tried to explain it like Lissa "look Lissa has a theory that maybe when she healed you and me for that matter with spirit that it somehow healed the defect that would not allow two Damphirs to breed." I said in a rush. Now he was looking at me in shock and a little hurt. "Lissa knows" he asked.

" I'm sorry Demetri I was going to tell you but I didn't know how and then you got so upset about your sister and I needed to talk to someone. Please don't hate me I am so sorry. I never meant to ruin your life or hurt you." I said crying.

Dimitri came and sat next to me and pulled me in his arms. "Shh Roza you could never make me hate you. I promise this is not going to ruin my life. Lissa's theory makes since its strange and different but that is spirit. we don't know enough about it." he said trying to calm me down. "You believe me ?" I said astonished "Yes Roza I believe you, I didn't at first but now that I think more about it what she said does make since." he stated while rocking me. I still couldn't believe it he believed me, I was sure he would leave me but here he was rocking me.

I don't know what came over me, maybe it was the heightened emotions or hormones but I just felt like I need him, all of him. I climbed in his lap and started kissing him fiercely. I could tell that he was feeling the same thing because before I could start pulling his shirt he grabbed me and was up and walking to the room. He laid me gently on the bed taking off his clothes. He paused and looked at me when I began taking off mine. "Are you sure maybe this is not a good idea, I would be happy to just lay and hold you in my arms" he said with concern. I looked at him this man was so amazing always thinking of me first. To be honest I wasn't sure if it was a good Idea but staying true to myself I did what I always do when tension is high "Well I don't think I can get any more pregnant." i teased. Dimitri gave me one of those smiles that I loved so much and gently climbed over me. All the while I was thinking well with spirit involved I hoped I couldn't get any more pregnant.