I don't own Bleach, Kubo Tite does.
Catch Her If You Can
Ichigo grumbled to himself as he made his way through the barracks of Squad Eight. Soul Society had called him back to help them deal with a few Hollows that had managed to get make it into the Sereitei. He'd helped take care of them and now he was spending his last day playing messenger boy for all the squads. Ichigo liked to consider himself a patient person but after the tenth letter he had been forced to deliver he'd started to get extremely pissed off.
"Hey Shunsui, you got a letter." Ichigo blared in an annoyed voice as he burst through the doors to the office of the captain. After a second to take in the room he realized the laid-back captain was nowhere to be found.
He looked out the window, the sun was setting but Shunsui should still have been in his office doing work. A vein appeared in Ichigo's head as he turned around and started to look for the lazy captain. It was bad enough he was getting grunt work, now he had to find a drunk. Well the best place to look would be his house. So Ichigo quickly crossed the grounds to where he had learned the captain lived and walked in.
The place reeked of sake and Ichigo could tell where the after effects of several wild nights had taken place, although he didn't understand why Shunsui didn't get the holes in the wall fixed. Eventually he came to the only door without holes and was about to knock when he heard laughing coming from inside. Ichigo assumed it was Shunsui's but stopped when it was followed by a female laugh too. Several more veins appeared on his head as the laughing continued. Here he was, delivering letters for everyone, and this captain decided to cut work early and go drinking with some girl, probably from his own squad.
"Oi, knock it off you drunk!" Ichigo yelled slamming the door open and stepping in, only find Shunsui and Rangiku seated at a small table, a few bottles of sake between them.
"Ichigo!" Rangiku said happily, standing up while still holding a bottle by the neck, "Where have you been? I wanted to invite you to come drinking with us."
"I've been busy delivering everyone's mail since; apparently, I'm the lowest rung on the totem pole." Ichigo walked in and set the letter in front of Shunsui, "You have a letter from Squad Nine."
"Oh this." Shunsui took the letter and looked at it carefully, "It can wait till tomorrow." And tossed it behind him, "C'mon, take a seat, have a drink."
"I'm not drinking with you two." Ichigo said gruffly, shrugging off Rangiku as she tried to push him down into a sitting position.
"Oh c'mon Ichigo-kun. *hic* Drink with us!" came a familiar female voice. Ichigo was suddenly hugged from behind and turned around to see Orihime, the effects of the sake already having taken effect.
"I-Inoue!?" Ichigo asked surprised, "When did you get here?"
"Hmm? Oh," Orihime put a finger to her chin as she thought, "When Soul Society sent for you Rangiku-san sent me a letter saying I should visit because it's been boring around here lately. So after you went through the gate I went through and Rangiku-san was waiting for me. We had fun all day today." She let go of Ichigo and grabbed a sake bottle, "And then when it started getting late we came here and I had a few drinks." Then took a long drink from the bottle.
Ichigo only watched in shock. Suddenly he cleared the distance between Shunsui and himself and delivered a hard elbow right to the captain's chin.
"You gave Inoue alcohol!?" he yelled, turning to Rangiku, "That's just irresponsible! I'm taking Inoue home!"
"Alright Kurosaki." Rangiku said trying to calm the boy down, "But you might want to-"
"What the hell were you thinking? Both of you!?" Ichigo started in on them again.
"Kurosaki."
"Shut it! Inoue doesn't need to drink, as her friend I can't believe you did this Rangiku. Got knows what might happen if you decided to let her walk herself home. I wouldn't trust those Eleventh Squad jerks as far as I could throw them."
"Kurosaki."
"And you!" Ichigo pointed an accusing finger at Shunsui, "You're a captain and you're giving sake to an underage girl, and don't get me started about how you treat women. I don't even wanna know what was going through your head."
"Kurosaki!" Rangiku and Shunsui said loudly at the same time.
"What!?"
"If you're gonna help Orihime get home then you might want to go find her." Rangiku said pointing at the open doorway.
"Huh?" Ichigo looked around the room and noticed Orihime wasn't in it anymore, "What the-. Where the heck did she go!? When did she leave!?"
"Right around the part about us being irresponsible." Shunsui picked up a bottle and started drinking.
"Damn you both!" Ichigo gave the pair a death glare before he ran out to find Orihime before something bad happened.
He quickly left the squad's area and stood outside their gates for a few seconds. He looked left, then right, wondering which way a drunken Orihime would wander. Fortunately his question was answered in the form a running Hanataro.
"Kurosaki!" he cried happy to see the boy, "You have to help, that friend of yours stumbled into the Fourth Squad relief station and started manhandling everyone."
"Inoue manhandling people?" Ichigo questioned, "Are you drunk too Hanataro?"
"I'm not drunk and it's true. One of the squad members approached her since she seemed like she couldn't balance herself and she threw him over her shoulder and into a wall. Then she spotted the other members and said something about blue men before she started chasing them with a broom."
Ichigo couldn't believe what he was hearing, but then again Orihime did have an active imagination. Maybe she was even crazier when she was drunk. He didn't dwell on it for long before he let Hanataro lead him to the to the relief station. But when they arrived it was like looking at the after effects of a battlefield. Various Squad Four members were being wheeled around on stretchers; Orihime had hit the place like a tornado. Injuries varied from rather painful looking bruises to a broken bone or two. Ichigo could hardly believe the sight he was seeing until Captain Unohana came up to him.
"Kurosaki-san." She greeted with her usual smile, "Of all your friends I never would have expected this kind of trouble from Inoue-san."
"Uh yeah." Ichigo kept looking around; even the walls bore the evidence of Orihime's attacks, "Sorry, Rangiku and Shunsui decided to get her drunk and I guess she's going kind of overboard. You wouldn't happen to know where she was heading do you?"
"Well I didn't see her myself; I only arrived after she reined this terror down on my squad." Despite her smile Ichigo couldn't help but feel very scared at Unohana, "But I believe I felt her reitsu heading for the tenth division."
"Thanks." Ichigo said before he turned around and headed outside.
Once out of the relief station he turned right and headed over for Squad Ten. Apparently Orihime had kept the broom because along the way he ran into various other Shinigami rubbing either their heads or other spots where she could have struck while on her rampage. Despite the severity of the situation Ichigo couldn't help but think it was a little hilarious, who knew Orihime could kick some butt like this?
As he reached the tenth division he wasn't all that surprised to see the squad members running around in a slight panic. Their base had several holes in their walls, making Ichigo wonder how she had managed to get a broom through a wooden wall. Various squad ten members were nursing minor injuries as he made his way through, looking for any trace of where Orihime might be.
"KUROSAKI!!" came Toshiro's annoyed voice.
Ichigo wasn't usually scared of anyone but the sight of Toshiro walking towards him with an extremely pissed off expression on his face made him stand straight with an apologetic smile.
"Hey Toshiro." He waved trying to calm the guy down, "I guess you've ran into Inoue huh?"
"That's Captain Hitsugaiya to you!" he snapped stopping before Ichigo, "And yes, she did come by! Or can't you tell by the pure disaster she came with and left. She ran through our halls, put holes in the walls with a broom, of all things, tossed around my subordinates, and . . . and. . . ." his expression got much angrier but he began turning a bright red in embarrassment.
"Look if you have to blame someone, blame Rangiku." Ichigo tried shifting the blame, "She's the one that decided to pour sake down Inoue's throat."
"I don't care if Matsumoto took her drinking! Either you find that girl or I will, and I promise there will be severe consequences when I find her." And with that, Toshiro walked away.
"Uh . . ." Ichigo was at a loss for words. He turned to a passing by squad member, "You wouldn't happen to know which direction Inoue ran off in would you?" he asked.
"Well." The member scratched the back of his head nervously, "After heading out the back she turned and started heading for Squad Eleven." A panicked look appeared on Ichigo's face.
"Please tell me she still has the broom."
"No." the squad member sighed, "Before she left she grabbed a practice sword from the training room."
Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap! Ichigo thought as he ran out the back and started heading for Squad Eleven. It was bad that she was drunk, it was even worse that she was fighting, much worse that she decided to take the fight to Squad Eleven, and the worst possible thing was that she had a practice sword with her. Various thoughts managed to pass their way through Ichigo's mind as he ran, making him run faster. Somehow he just couldn't see a good end to this. He mentally made a note to beat Shunsui later.
He finally made it to the Squad Eleven building. However, it wasn't in a panic like the others, rather, it was pretty calm. Just as Ichigo started to think he'd gotten ahead of Orihime he saw a small group of men running through the halls and caught some of their conversation.
"You sure you weren't just hearing things?" one asked.
"I'm telling you it's true. There's a real hottie with two practice swords in the training area ready to take on anyone who approaches her."
"What happens if we manage to beat her?"
"Don't know. No one's beaten her yet."
Ichigo froze for a second as the mental image of Orihime holding off all of Squad Eleven with only two practice swords entered his mind. This was just getting worse and worse by the second. Without wasting another second he entered the base and started followed any members he saw running around. Eventually he came to a large room with a large set of doors, open wide. And what a sight it was to behold.
Standing in the middle of room was Orihime, a practice sword in each hand, and the majority of men in the room were lying unconscious on the floor around her. She was still undoubtedly drunk but she wore an extremely serious expression as she turned slowly around to keep an eye on all the men surrounding her. The men left wore cautious expressions themselves as they watched the young girl that had managed to take out the majority of the squad.
"C'mon, who wants some!?" Orihime challenged to the group, "Step right up! You got a head; I'll knock it off your shoulders!"
"Damn Ichigo, that girl of yours is quite the firecracker." Ikkaku said leaning against the back wall and watching the spectacle with an amused look on his face.
"If you ask me, a lady should be refined and elegant." Yumichika said from the other side of the door frame.
"What the heck are you two doing just standing there!?" Ichigo asked in an annoyed tone, "What if Kempachi appeared."
"Well if the girls looking for a fight then who are we to interrupt?" Ikkaku said smirking at Ichigo, "And if the captain showed up then I guess we'd find out what would happen."
"Please, like I'd fight a drunken woman." Kempachi said from behind Ichigo.
"Kempachi!?" Ichigo's eyes darted between the captain behind him and Orihime, "Don't even think about it!"
"I just said I'm not gonna fight a drunken woman! But what are you worried about anyway, she's got a good hold on things here. The only one's left are weaklings; she couldn't probably handle them asleep."
"I'm not leaving Inoue here with you guys." Ichigo said sternly.
"Well at least let her finish fighting. This will be the perfect motivator for these guys, getting their asses handed to them by a drunken teenage girl." Kempachi pulled out jug sake while putting a hand on Ichigo's shoulder, "So sit down and have a drink yourself. You seem too tense."
"Hiyaa!!" Ichigo turned around to see Orihime knocking out two members who approached her. One strike to head on each and they went down.
"Give me that!" he muttered to Kempachi, grabbing the jug and taking a large drink.
Thump. Pain, a jolt to his system that told him it was time to wake up. Thump. Another pulse of pain that shot through his head, causing Ichigo to stir in his sleep and slowly open his eyes as the thumping continued. He was staring at the ceiling of his room in Soul Society, and his back was on the floor. He put his hand against his head before he decided to try and sit up. But he couldn't, there was something pressing down on his chest. He looked around and found a large black blur was lying diagonally on him, although that black blur had auburn hair at its top.
Ichigo froze as his eyesight sharpened and he could make out Orihime lying on him, face down, and he was shirtless. He turned bright red before he realized that his pants were still on and so were Orihime's clothes, she just had the top part of his uniform on over her. He looked around the room and noticed that it was still relatively clean; luckily they hadn't made a mess in it.
"Inoue." Ichigo said gently, shaking the girl a little to wake her up, "Inoue, you need to get up. "
The girl stirred and leaned up, looking at Ichigo with an extremely tired look on her face.
"Five more minutes Kurosaki-kun." She said with a sleepy voice before she wrapped her arms around him and laid back down on him.
"Wh-wh-what are you going Inoue." Ichigo said trying his hardest to hide his panic.
"I just wanna keep dreaming for a few more minutes."
"This isn't a dream Inoue." His panic was about to break through, and his throbbing head didn't help matters much. He'd never drink with Kempachi again.
"Of course it's a dream; I wouldn't be in the same bed as Kurosaki-kun unless I was dreaming." Orihime nestled herself deeper into Ichigo, trying to get more comfortable.
"Why do you dream about sleeping with me?" Ichigo's panic was lost to embarrassment and curiosity.
"What do you mean?" Orihime leaned up and her tired eyes looked deep into Ichigo's brown ones, "I dream about Kurosaki-kun because unless I tell him how I feel then it's the only way to be with him." She gave him a small smile, "And because this is a dream, I can do this." Then leaned forward and kissed him.
The taste of last nights sake didn't register in Ichigo's head, his brain was shutting down everything that wasn't registering what Orihime was doing right then. After she was done he was left speechless as she went back to sleep. Slowly his brain turned the rest of its functions back on and he was able to comprehend what just happened.
Gently, he scooped her up and sat up with her in his arms. Luckily he wasn't far from the wall and got into a sitting position, putting Orihime in a comfortable position as he smiled down at her. She groaned a little and shifted in her new position but stayed asleep. Ichigo brushed a few strands of stray hair behind her ear so he could watch her sleeping face. He'd have to thank Shunsui, Rangiku, and Kempachi later.
End