1Chapter One: Box o' Tricks

Roy sat at a small table in front of a window at his favorite little café. This place was the perfect spot for breakfast. It was so nice to sit and drink coffee and watch people as they went drowsily about their daily lives.

A small spider crawled across the table and stopped to look at him. He glared at it then squished it with his thumb. He heard a faint metallic crunch. Three more spiders, identical to the previous one, appeared on the table. He squished them as well. "Fullmetal, don't you have anything better to do than make spider robots and pester me? Surely, you have paperwork or people to visit."

Said blonde alchemist crawled out from underneath the table a few yards away. "How did you know it was me?" Ed asked with surprise.

Roy sighed. "Only you could be so childish. Only you, with your unfortunate height, could fit under one of these tables."

As predictable as dawn, the elder Elric brother growled and became animated with anger. "Who're you calling short, Sparky?!" The table he had crawled from underneath collapsed.

Roy clenched his teeth. "Edward, did you use the table's bolts to transmute those spiders?"

Ed blinked then smiled sheepishly. "Heh heh..."

Roy rolled his eyes. "I swear. Sometimes I wonder why they let you join the military."

Ed frowned, and without acknowledging the broken table, he sat in the chair adjacent to Roy. "Actually, I don't have anything better to do. My paperwork is finished and Al is spending time with Winry. He really likes her, and I thought it would be best if I didn't hang around too long.

Roy nodded and took a drink of his coffee. Suddenly, a thought occurred to him. "Hey, Fullmetal, wanna do me a favor?"

Ed raised an eyebrow. "Eh, not really." Roy made a pouty face. Ed rolled his eyes. "Really, sir, that expression doesn't do you justice. Whadda ya want?"

Roy smirked. This was going to be fun. "Well, you see, I got something in the mail yesterday and accidentally left it at home. If I give you my apartment key, will you fetch it for me?"

"Talk about 'dog' of the military. What's in it for me?" Ed said, folding his arms. This better be good. No way was he just going to do chores for the bastard.

"You'll see. I promise you'll get something out of it. Plus, you'll have something to do." Mustang pulled his house key out of his pocket and held it towards the blonde alchemist in front of him. "Please?"

Edward stood in front of room 27 with the key in his hand. He opened the door to find a very tidy, very homy apartment. Odd. It was almost scary how welcoming it looked.

"Alright, he said the package was on the desk in his bedroom," he thought out loud.

A face poked from around a corner then the whole person came forward. Ed nearly squeaked. Yes, squeaked. Hawkeye stood now before him in a skimpy maid's outfit holding a duster in one hand. Her eye twitched. "Don't say one word, Edward, or I swear I'll pump you full of lead."

The Fullmetal alchemist gulped loudly. "Er, sir, I came for a package. He said it was on his desk."

Riza nodded. "Fine. But if I hear that you told anyone about this..." She gestured to the tiny outfit. "You will become dog food. Hear me?"

Edward nodded hastily and half ran to the room. "Yes, sir!"

Edward Elric now stood on the steps in front of headquarters. Roy had said to bring the package directly to his office. Ed now pondered just what was in the box. It was medium sized, cardboard, and not too heavy. Mustang hadn't told him specifically not to look inside. A little peak wouldn't hurt.

He opened the top slowly and gaped in shock at what the box contained.

-- hey guys or...girls. whatever. so what should be in the box hm? tell me what you want, babe. and then i'll give you another chapter and some jello...if you like jello. do you? ah...whatever. heh ;