Dear Mom and Dad,
I can't live with you anymore. I can't be the son you've always wanted. I can't be the perfect prodigy child you want so much. I need to be my own person; my own man. You need to learn to not be so obsessive and controling. I know you mean well, but it hurts. It hurts to knwo that you won't ever love me as much as you could. I'm not smart, I'm uncouth, and I'm apparently I'm a worthless piece of shit in your eyes. Try having another kid and maybe they'll turn out better. Don't bother looking for me because you won' t find me. I love you guys, even if you don't love me.
Goodbye forever,
Eli
Most people would find that to be the hardest thing to ever have to do. To leave their parents unexpectedly and never see them again. But I believe it set me free. Free from high expectations, from the disapproving scowls, from the cage I called a home for 16 years.
CHAPTER 1
THE START OF IT ALL
I walked through the streets of an empty Toronto. It was pouring rain; everyone was probably in their cozy homes, snuggled with their families by a fire, watching television. But not me. I had no home. I left New York and never looked back. Sometimes I think about the old times and what my family was like, but do I miss it? Hell no.
Standing in the rain staring at my feet in a dark ally.
I heard something. It sounded like a roar of a wave, but I'm no where near the ocean. I walked around the corner and saw the source of the noise. It was coming from a building, an area of some sort. I slowly inched closer, due to the bitter coldness eating away at my core.
There was an entrance, heavily guarded with big guys in yellow raincoats that read SECURITY. I stared at them for a minute before realising there was no chance in hell they were going to let me in. I turned and walked around the side and the noise grew louder.
It was the sound of a guitar.
It had to have been the most beautiful sound I had ever heard.
I pressed my ear to the cold, hard, concrete and listened. I could just imagine the whole scene:
The lead singer with long hair dancing around on the stage. The bass player bobbing his head up and drummer watching the crowd intently with his devil horns in the air. The guitarist putting his heart and soul into his solo. Never looking up from his instrument. They were all so into the song; but not like the guitarist.
The whole scenario sounded like the dream everyone wanted. That I wanted. That one guitar's sound just blew me away. I couldn't put it in words, how I felt about that sound. That sound was like my heartbeat put into an instrument.
All I knew is that I could feel the stars in my eyes as I realised what my calling was.
I found my meaning.
Who I'm supposed to be.
I will be the guy everyone wants to be. The guy all the girls want.
The guy who is loved.