Here's To the Night

By Lilith

A/N: Okay, there is going to be a lot in here, because I really have nothing better to do at 4:40 am on a Sunday night... or Monday morning. Some of it you might not understand, and that's okay, because I haven't posted the fics that will make this all make sense. Wait. Nothing I do ever makes sense, so never mind. However, if you are totally confused, at the end there are brief notes as to what Hermione/Harry/Ron are referring to. This is a depressing fic, I am generally depressed at 4:40 am on Sunday/Monday. Still can't decide which to call it. Okay, see you at the end of the fic... if you make it that far. Comments, questions... L i l i t h A D @ a o l . c o m (without spaces. Everything is just mooshed together.)

~~~

"Hermione?" Hermione jumped at the sound of her name. She looked up quickly, aware that she should have been paying attention to her friend, and mentally kicking herself for not.

"Yes?" she asked, praying she hadn't ,missed anything terribly important.

"I have a job for you. It's dangerous, and I have to be frank, it's not likely it can even be done at all. But you're the best person here to do it, and we really need the information." Harry looked at her. Her eyes were rimmed with red, and they were swollen. Her face was pale as chalk, and there were dark circles under her eyes.

Hermione sighed inwardly. It had been seven years since Voldemort's return to power... seven long miserable years. Currently, the Dark Lord was so powerful that no one was safe, not even the people close to Albus Dumbledore. And she and Harry were currently very far away from their old headmaster. Harry, Ron and herself had started a small underground resistance that fought Voldemort. They met in a subspace dormitory, under Harry's Muggle family's house. There was some kind of ancient protection on the house, so they were shielded from any kind of magical or non-magical evesdropping, as well as from attacks.

"I understand, Harry," Hermione replied. She bit her lip. "What do you need me to do?"

What seemed like years later, Hermione left the small audience room. Harry had informed her, in front of everyone else, what he needed her to do. He had said that is was probably fatal, and had a haunted look about him. He knew that he was asking her to go off, probably to die. He also knew that she was the only possible candidate for the job he had for her.

Hermione had been excused from the rest of the meeting because she needed to pack and go to sleep... she would leave first thing in the morning. Plus, it had been too painful to look at him... look at him and know, without a doubt, that he didn't feel the same way about her... that he didn't love her.

"Hermione! Hermione, wait up." Hermione turned to face her red-headed friend.

"Ginny," she replied, nodding slightly. Her lower lip began to trembled.

"Oh, Hermione, I'm so scared," whispered the younger redhead. "I don't want you to die!" Tears began to fall freely down the girl's pale freckled face, and she pulled Hermione into a hug. Hermione let the girl hug her, then broke away.

"Honestly, Ginny! I'm not going to die!" she said, in a voice that sounded much more confidant than she actually felt. "Who was Head Girl at Hogwarts? I'm not going to do anything stupid, like..." she faltered, almost saying his name... "like some people would," she finished lamely. She gave Ginny a brave smile. The two had become extremely close, but Hermione felt responsible for cheering Ginny up.

"I know you won't, just, please... be careful?" Ginny wiped away her own tears, and Hermione vaguely wondered how any of them could cry anymore... how anyone had any tears left in them.

"I'll be careful, Ginny," Hermione promised.

"I heard... about you and... well... I'm sorry," Ginny said softly. "He's a stupid prat. And I'm going to go tell him that," she added. "Don't cry over him, Hermione." Hermione nodded, eyes glimmering with unshed tears. Ginny patted her on the shoulder and walked back into the audience room. Hermione continued down the corridor to her room, opened the door, walked inside, closed it, and stared very calmly at her bed.

"I'm going to die," she said softly. Then she walked to her bed, pulled a small bag out from underneath it, and began to pack.

***

Hermione lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling. Or rather, glaring at it. The unshed tears were still in her eyes, but she seemed to think that if she glared at the ceiling hard enough they would go away.

There was a knock on the door. Probably Harry, come to give her some last minute instructions. She sat up and swung her legs off the bed, then got up and opened the door.

It wasn't Harry.

"Hi, Hermione," said Ron awkwardly. "Can... can I come in and talk to you?"


So denied

so I lied

are you the now or never kind
In a day

and a day love

I'm gonna be gone for good again

Hermione breathed very deeply. Here they were. Just her and Ron, sitting in her room. It would have been perfect, except for what he'd told her a week ago.

That he didn't love her. That he never did. That she was simply his best friend Hermione. And that... that was the worst thing he could have said to her.

"Hermione," Ron began. "I... I want to say something." Hermione opened her mouth to talk, but he began quickly again. "And I have to ask that you... not say anything 'till I'm done. Otherwise I don't think I'll be brave enough to start up again." She nodded, wondering what on earth was going on.

"Hermione, I... I love you." Hermione looked as though someone had slapped her across the face. "Harry asked me to go on a very dangerous mission about a week ago, and I accepted. And that was right before you came, and told me..." He swallowed hard. "And I couldn't tell you that... I felt the same way... because I was probably going to die. I wanted... I didn't want you to have to deal with me dying, if we'd been, well, together. I was so stupid, I thought it would hurt you less..." Here Ron broke off, breathing hard. "Telling you that I didn't love you was the hardest thing I have ever done, Hermione. Ever. And... well, I'm leaving tomorrow. And I just wanted to let you know I've been a stupid git, and I love you so much. And I realise how hard this has been on you. I saw, today, and I just..." he spread his palms, obviously feeling completely helpless. "I'm leaving tomorrow. So... that's all. And I realise it all sounded completely stupid, but you know I'm not so good at saying things." He gave her a weak smile, which she didn't return. She still looked like someone had slapped her, which made Ron look at the floor. "I guess I'll be going now," he said softly to the floor, and got up.

Are you willing to be had

are you cool with just tonight
Here's a toast

to all those who hear me all too well

"Ron." He turned, his hand inches from the doorknob. He looked at her, wondering if she was going to hit him. She stood up, face smooth as a mask, eyes still shining with tears. She looked into his eyes, and he nearly grimaced. Her eyes were blazing with hurt and anger, and her mouth was set in a firm line.

"Ron," she began again. "I..." words failed her. She simply couldn't speak. He looked down, and turned back to the door, thinking she was angry. As his hand closed around the knob, Hermione found her voice.

"Don't go." Ron froze. Had he heard correctly? Her voice was so small, so miserable. He turned back to her. She looked so small and scared, but she was standing confidently, lower lip trembling. Her eyes were pleading with him.

Hermione was simply awash in emotions. Anger, for one. How could he lie to me!? She thought furiously. He was trying to protect you! She protested against her anger, but it was no good. She was angry, and yet touched that he had been trying to protect her... even though it hadn't worked. She was also miserable, because not only was he leaving, so was she. And after tonight, they would probably never see each other again.

"I'm leaving tomorrow, too," she heard herself say. "I... I probably won't come back either." She saw his eyes... so pained, so remorseful, that she couldn't be too angry with him. She wouldn't yell at him tonight, when it was the last night both of them had at home. Or the closest they could call home.

"R-really? Where are you going?" Ron asked, biting his lip. He was obviously afraid of the answer.

"Harry wants me to... to contact Severus." Hermione lowered her eyes.

"HE WANTS YOU TO WHAT?!" Ron exploded. "HAS HE GONE MAD?! YOU COULD BE KILLED! YOU COULD BE PUT UNDER THE IMPERIUS CURSE! THEY COULD TORTURE YOU! WHAT IS HE THINKING?!" Ron began to pace as much as he could in the tight space—about two steps in either direction, because of his long legs and the small room. "I knew it was a mistake putting Harry in charge, he's going to get you killed, Hermione..." Ron trailed off as he looked at her face.

Hermione had never felt so... strange. Ron's outburst was enough to make her almost forget her anger... that he would accept a dangerous mission for himself and not think twice about his danger, but when he exploded in a rage because she was in danger... Hermione was touched.

"Thank you, Ron, but I have to. I'm the only one who can perform the spell, and Harry knows it. So do you, come to that." Hermione sat down on the bed, looking uncomfortable. "I have to do it. The information we get could be vital to out campaign."

"Could be vital, Hermione, could be. He doesn't even know if this information is worth risking your life! Even if it *was* vital, it's still not worth sacrificing you—" he stopped. Hermione had put her hand on his wrist and was looking up at him.

"Thank you, Ron," she said, standing up. "Now, since this is our last night together, will you please shut up?" Ron tried to say something, but didn't really have a choice in the matter, because Hermione's lips were suddenly pressed against his mouth.

Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon

Ron was a bit startled at this, but soon forgot all about his shock and simply kissed her back. It felt like thunderclaps going off in his head, and he could almost feel electrical shocks coming from where her hand still rested on his wrist.

Hermione was mostly surprised she's had the nerve to do that. Oh, the times she wished she had... but those were when she was younger. Hermione Granger was now no longer a teenage girl, obsessed with studying and not breaking any rules. Every day of her life now she broke rules, she broke laws, and she fought. But now... now Ron was here, and she felt warm and safe.

Ron broke the kiss, gasping quietly for air. Hermione sat down hard on the bed, tears on her cheeks, one hand still on Ron's wrist. He sat down next to her and took her hand, then leaned over and kissed her again.

Put your name

on the line

along with place and time
Wanna stay

not to go

I wanna ditch the logical
Here's a toast

to all those who hear me all too well

As Hermione and Ron broke away again, Ron could see that she was still in tears. To tell the truth, he was dangerously close to crying himself. He gently wiped the tears off her cheeks, and put his hand under her chin to force her to look up at him. She blinked several times, but finally looked into his eyes.

"I... I should probably go..." he whispered. "Need to... sleep, for tomorrow. And all that." His hand was trembling, oh why did it have to tremble now? He couldn't let Hermione see him weak like this, and he had a sneaking suspicion that if he broke down she would as well.

"D'you have to?" she whispered back, clenching his hand in hers. "I'd really like to... talk. About some things. You do have some time before you have to go, don't you?"

"Well, yes, I can stay for a bit," he muttered, blinking hard.

Hermione stood up, carefully dropping Ron's hands. She went to her dresser and picked up a small teapot and her wand. She pointed to the teapot with her wand and muttered something, and within seconds it was whistling shrilly. She carefully poured the water into two cups, and added teabags. She then handed a cup to Ron, and sat next to him on the bed. They sipped their tea in silence.

"Ron?"

"Mmm?"

"Where... where does Harry want you to go?" Hermione asked tentatively, not sure she really wanted to know. Ron looked at her, sighed, and put his saucer down on the small rickety bedside table.

"Hermione," he said quietly. "He's got... he wants me to... erm, well, that is..." He took one look at her determined face and sighed. "I've got to retrieve Mr. Ollivander from the pens."

There was a deadly silence in the room. Hermione put her saucer down very calmly, lips pressed tightly together in a thin line, nostrils flaring.

"Absolutely not," she said flatly.

Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon

"Hermione, you know I have to," he began pleadingly. Were they going to spend their last night together arguing? They had always fought, true, but he could count the number of times they had actually been angry at each other. In all those years, all their bickering, neither of them had actually meant any of it. Their arguing was how they both showed their affection. But tonight... he didn't want to argue tonight.

"I know you have to," she said abruptly. "And I know that Mr. Ollivander has the secret to destroying Voldemort's wand. And I know that I am going into a situation just as risky." She looked at him angrily and took a deep breath. "That still doesn't mean I want you to go."

"Well, I don't want you to go either," he retorted, glaring at her. "So we're even."

"Good!"

"Good!"


All my time is froze in motion
Can't I stay an hour or two or more
Don't let me let you go
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

"Oh, Hermione," Ron said, breaking. "I can't. I can't fight with you, not now..." And, to Hermione's vast surprise, two small tears trickled out of his eyes. He glared at her, daring her to say something. The only thing she could do was lean over and hug him, pull him close, and wish she would never have to let him go. His arms wrapped around her, and they leaned back, lying down on the bed, arms wrapped snugly around the other. Hermione gently kissed Ron, then rested her head against his shoulder.

It felt as though time was frozen for both of them. They simply lay there, arms around each other, skin barely touching. Hermione felt tears in her eyes, and let them slide off, down her cheeks and into Ron's sleeves. He was crying as well, silently, like she was.

"I'd better go..." whispered Ron reluctantly. "We... we have to sleep." Hermione shifted slightly, letting the arm that was lying on top of Ron come in to her chest, and moved so that she was lying a little more on her back, her head resting more on Ron's shoulder.

"I'm comfortable like this," she whispered back. "Are you?" She heard Ron swallow hard, and then felt him nod.

"Yes," he whispered. "I didn't really want to go anyway."

"Do you honestly think," she said, sounding more like her old self than ever, "that I would just let you leave like that?" There was a trace of amusement in her voice, and Ron could feel her give a small giggle.

"Well, not the Hermione *I* know," he said, amused. They both laughed a little, then quieted.

"We really should be getting to sleep," Hermione whispered. Ron nodded- she could feel his chin pole the top of her head –and whispered "Dimitto lux." The lights in the room winked out, and Ron twined his fingers in with Hermione's. She didn't say anything, and he closed his eyes, trying to sleep. It wasn't working very well, because he felt as though fire was racing through the nerves that were touching Hermione's skin. Hermione, for her part, was feeling much the same. However, they both drifted off into dreams, much later than they would have if both had been sleeping in their own beds. They both knew that this was their first night together being admittedly in love, and their last night together as anything. Neither of them spoke a word to the other, just simply let the tears fall.

The next day, they both got up without a word to the other. Ron hurried back to his room, got his bag, and walked with Hermione to the door of their subspace hideout. Ginny was there, with red-rimmed eyes and a pale face. She hugged Hermione, and hugged Ron. Hermione whispered something into the girl's ear that made her glow with happiness. Hermione bent down, and wrote in a small book.

Name: Hermione Granger

Time: 8:45 am

Reason for leaving: Mission. Details Confidential.

She signed her name, and waited for Ron to do the same. As soon as he straightened, they linked hands and walked out of the door together. As soon as they got to the Muggle road outside, they kissed quickly, then walked away in opposite directions. Both knew that if the other had said a word, they would simply have run off, abandoning their mission. But things being as they were, Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley were forced to leave their love behind and embark on surely fatal missions. They both knew they would never see each other again.

Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
~~~

A/N: Well, that's all folks. Now, you are probably wondering "What the hell is Lilith smoking?" and others may be thinking "I want some!" The answer to the question is Lilith has been inhaling those pesky Sharpie fumes again after writing on every article of clothing she could find. Hey, its been a long night. But here are the references which you might not understand. Please feel free to e-mail me with any questions, comments, even flames (I guess... if you just scream at me, yelling "UR STORY SUX!!! HARRY AND HERMIONE 4-EVA!" I am just going to ignore you. If you tell me exactly what you don't like, without using all caps and things, I am more likely to do things better the next time.) My e-mail address is L i l i t h A D @ a o l . c o m (without the spaces) and my IM name is LilithAD. Thanks!

The Resistance – A group formed by Harry, Ron and Hermione the year the Dark Lord took control of the wizard world. Their goal is to kill Voldemort once and for all, and to try and return the world to the way it was before he came to power. [There are a great many members. I will post a list of the members with my other story, "Darkness Supreme". That should be posted soon, and is the sequel to this story.]

The Pens – The secret place in which wizards are held captive, for experimental reasons. They are tested upon, and made to do atrocious things under the Imperius Curse. Also, those who have the power to fight the Imperius Curse end up here, without magic, slaves of Lord Voldemort.

Voldemort's wand – Voldemort has done something to his wand that makes it able to simply feed him energy. He no longer needs to sleep, eat or rest, because his wand soaks up energy from around and gives it to him. He has, of course, rendered the thing invulnerable, but Mr. Ollivander (the wand's maker) knows how to destroy it. This information is priceless to the rebellion, but Voldemort knows this. He cannot kill Mr. Ollivander, because he himself does not know how to destroy the wand. If he knows, he can protect that weak spot. The Resistance must get the information before Voldemort does, otherwise they will have no hope defeating him.

Severus Snape – Severus Snape, Potions Master at Hogwarts, "re-joined" the Death Eaters and said he was a double agent for them. He feeds them false information with enough truth in it to keep the Death Eaters duped. He does not know if Lord Voldemort himself is fooled, though the Dark Lord has never tried to kill or have Snape killed. Currently, Professor Snape has valuable information regarding the Death Eater's next attack.

Subspace hideout - Sort of like unplottable land, but in this case it took many witches and wizards to come together and combine their magic to actually tear a whole in space itself. The Resistance actually lives in another dimension – inside a "rip" in the cosmic space.