They first meet in their dreams just a day after Rey arrives on Ach-To. She sleeps soundly in her quarters aboard the Falcon, the gentle hums of the dormant ship systems lulling her to sleep.
Comfortably in a dream, Rey is sitting at the base of a tree when she hears footsteps slowly approaching her from behind. Defensively she jumps up, baring her staff in front of her and getting ready for a fight. But then he stops in his tracks, holding his hands up in front of him in surrender, and Rey softens. In fact, she melts.
"Finn?" she breathes, incredulous. And then she drops her staff and runs towards him. "Finn!"
"Rey," he whispers, and he accepts her hug gratefully when she reaches him and throws her arms around his shoulders.
"What are you doing here?"
"I missed you," he replies, not really answering her question. Tentatively, he brings his hand up to cup the back of her head, and Rey holds him tighter.
After a few more moments Rey pulls away, but she keeps her hands on the tops of his arms and his settle against her elbows, their bodies still close. She looks right in to his eyes, her own filled with so much emotion.
"I'm not really here," he says, finally answering her question. His voice is just a whisper; quiet and hoarse and sad. She swears she sees tears rise in his eyes. "We're just dreaming."
"No, I know, but—how—how did you find your way in to my dreams? Are you dreaming too? Are you here with your mind, I—?"
"Yes. I haven't woken up."
"Finn…," Rey pulls her lips together, trying to stop the tears.
"But—it's okay, because before you fell asleep and came here, I wasn't in a very nice dream place. You…you seemed to move me somewhere else. You brought me here; to this meadow."
A tiny smile twitches at the corners of her lips. She quickly wipes away a single tear before bringing her hand back to Finn's arm. "Really?"
"Yeah." Finn smiles at her – so softly, so gently – and Rey's eyes prick with more tears because he's here. Sort of. He's here as much as he can be.
"Will you sit with me?" Rey asks.
"Of course."
Reluctantly, they let each other go and head over to the tree again, sitting at the base of it on top of the soft, green grass.
"Where are you?" Finn asks once they're settled down. "I…I get the feeling you're not here, on the Resistance base."
"No, I'm not," Rey looks down. She fiddles with her fingers. "I'm…I'm on a planet with…with Luke Skywalker."
"You found him!?"
"Yes. R2-D2 had the rest of the map. He woke up when I got back to the base. And I came to Ach-To with him and Chewie to find Luke."
"Wow," Finn breathes. He's looking at her, but she's not looking at him. "That's amazing, Rey."
"I know. And I think…I think he's going to train me. To be a Jedi."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Rey!" Finn exclaims, and he sounds so happy, so genuinely excited, that Rey can't help but look at him. "That's incredible!"
Rey smiles at the way his face has completely lit up. "You think?"
"Of course! We didn't even know the Jedi were real a week ago. And now look at you. You're becoming one."
Rey's lips release a small smile and she leans in closer to him. "I miss you."
"I miss you too, Rey."
Just as Rey is about to reach out and take his hand, she suddenly feels as though someone is tugging her away. Finn frowns down at her hand that's hovering in the air, halfway to his; and then he looks to her face, his frown deepening.
"What's happening?" Finn asks.
"I…I think I'm waking up," she stammers, looking around frantically, and then up at the sky as if that will give her some indication. (It doesn't). "I'm waking up, Finn. I'm waking up. I'm sorry. I'm-"
"It's okay," Finn tries to soothe her, his voice soft. He reaches out and takes her hand anyway, but she feels half-there, like she's made of cotton. "I'll see you again. We'll meet again. In our dreams, yeah?"
"I hope so," Rey smiles at him. She thinks about leaning in to kiss his forehead, but he feels far away, and she's not sure she'll be able to reach him.
"Rey—wait," he grips her hand tighter. He can't even feel it anymore. "When are you coming back? In real life?"
Rey's forehead wrinkles. Her eyes fill with tears. She's being dragged away. He barely has time to hear her say, "I don't know. I'm—" before she's gone.
It happens again a night later. This time, Rey's dream joining Finn's drags him out of a particularly bad one. It featured storm troopers and Kylo Ren and Rey being thrown against a tree and lying there unconscious in his arms.
When Rey finds him, they're in her AT-AT on Jakku, and he's kneeling on the floor, panting, tears on his face.
"Finn?" Rey questions, frantic as she throws her staff off her off her back and runs towards him. "What's wrong?"
"Rey," he breathes out, looking up at her. "You're here."
"I'm here." She smiles. Brings her hand up to sit on his shoulder.
"I—I was having a nightmare," he explains. "I…well. You saved me from it, let's just say."
"What was it about?"
"I—I don't really wanna talk about it. If…that's okay."
"Of course it is," she says softly, and then reaches out to smooth the creases in his forehead away with her thumb. "You don't have to say anything."
Finn smiles gratefully at her. And then he looks around, frowning again, but it's curious this time and not in distress.
"Where are we?" Finn asks, confused. "I've never seen this place before."
Rey looks around. She hadn't even realised where they were. A heavy feeling settles in her chest as she realises, though; she sees the hammock she spent so many sleepless nights lying in, the jar of flowers that are now well past their best, the little doll she made. And lastly, the wall. The wall with hundreds of thousands of little lines etched on to it, marking every single day she was alone.
The pain of her memories hits her harder than she expected, and she falls back on to her hands as tears gather in her eyes.
Finn turns to face her, a worried look on his face. "Rey? What's wrong?"
She draws in a deep breath. "I…," she falters. "I…I used to live here. This was my—my home, on Jakku. It's the belly of an old AT-AT."
"You lived here?"
Rey nods. "I did."
"For…for how long?"
Her lips turn in to a smile, but it's completely humourless. She shakes her head. "Too long."
Finn watches her for a moment, his forehead wrinkled again. He takes in the way her eyes look as if they're going to spill over with tears any second, and the way her lips are slightly turned downwards as she looks around some more. And then he realises that not only can he see how sad she is; he can feel it, too. Deep in his chest, a heavy, sinking feeling that doesn't quite feel like it's his. It floats around his body, his soul, and he can't help but shuffle closer and take her hand tight in his.
Her gaze comes back to him. When she blinks, a tear falls out. And then they don't stop; they just keep falling on to her cheeks, down, down, down.
Finn reaches out with his spare hand to wipe them away. He doesn't say anything. He doesn't know what he could say to make this better.
"Sorry, I—I don't know why I'm crying. I know I don't live here anymore." Rey apologises, looking down.
Gently placing his index finger under her chin, he carefully tilts her head back up to look at him before moving it away again. "You don't need to be sorry. It's okay to cry at this. Heck, it's okay to cry about anything, Rey."
Rey tries for a smile. She blinks again, and the tears carry on. "I just…I was so lonely. This place is filled with so many lonely memories. Heavy memories. Memories that weigh down on me and turn me back in to the girl I was just a few weeks ago; the girl who sometimes wondered if this was how she was always going to be. Starving and alone."
And then Finn is crying; fat, salty tears falling out on to his cheeks. He shuffles even closer. Rey looks up at him and frowns when she sees that he's crying, too.
"Finn? Are you okay?"
He ignores her question. Instead, he squeezes her hand and places his other one on top of it. Her sadness weighs heavier in his chest. It actually hurts him. "You're never going to be alone anymore, Rey. That's not your future. I want you to know that. That you'll always have me. Always."
Rey's eyes fill with something else besides sadness now; a look he's seen before, he thinks. It's similar to how she'd looked at him when he, Chewie and Han went back for her on Starkiller. A look of thankfulness, and pure, raw emotion.
She opens her mouth and closes it again, as if she wants to say something but doesn't. And then her eyes flicker down to his lips for the tiniest moment – so tiny, Finn wonders if it had even happened – and she leans in to press her forehead against his.
"Thank you," she whispers. "Thank you, Finn."
He squeezes her hand. She squeezes it back.
They stay together as long as they possibly can; Rey shows him around the small space of her AT-AT home, and he stops by the wall, gazing up at it with a frown.
"What's this?"
Rey looks up. He's staring at the wall that shows the thousands of scratches Rey has made over time. It stretches out before them, and Rey takes a deep breath. "I was counting the days. I don't know how many are here; I lost count a long time ago."
Finn remains silent for a moment. "Have…have you lived in this place as long as you've been on Jakku?" He asks, and he seems hesitant, wary of Rey's answer.
"No," she answers. "I found this place after a few years of being here."
Finn turns to face her. He frowns. "I'm sorry, we don't have to talk about this."
"It's fine."
"I just—I want to know more about your beginnings."
She looks up at him, and a small smile emerges on her face. Her hand finds his again. She squeezes. And when she opens her mouth to speak, she doesn't say anything along the lines of what he expected. Instead, her expression turns sad again, and she steps closer.
"I have to go," her voice is just a whisper.
"What?"
"I'm sorry, I have to go again. It's…it's morning on Ach-To. The sun is rising."
Finn's face turns sad, but he nods solemnly. "I understand, Rey. It's okay."
"I'm sorry,"
"Don't be sorry. You have a life to live. Jedi training to complete," he smiles at her, trying to be encouraging, and she smiles a little in return. "Go. I'll be fine."
"I'll sleep again soon," she says. "I promise." And then she leans in, presses a soft, slow kiss to his forehead. Finn's skin there tingles, almost familiarly.
"When will you be back? To the base?" He asks, just as she starts to fade away.
"I don't know. But I'm trying to find that out. I promise you."
And then she's gone.
At least this time she didn't get dragged away.
This time, they got to say goodbye.
He's starting to wonder why he's still here. Asleep. In this dream. This never-ending, always-changing dream. He's not waking up.
He's not waking up.
When Rey appears again, it's been days since they last met, he's sure; but it all just feels like one big day to him.
He's standing by a lake, surrounded by trees and flowers and grass. The sun is glistening on the water, and it's warm against his skin. There's a little beach just a few metres away where the water laps over the pebbles.
Rey appears, grinning, and then runs towards him. Before he knows it, her arms are around his neck, and she's hugging him so tightly, pushing her face in to his neck.
"Hi," she breathes.
Finn smiles over her shoulder, reciprocating her tight grip. "Hi."
When Rey pulls away, she keeps her arms around him. He notices that her hair isn't up in it's familiar style; it's down, falling to her shoulders, with little waves working their way through it. She looks beautiful; with the sun lighting up her skin and dancing in her hair.
He's grinning at her without realising it.
"What?" Rey asks, smiling.
"Nothing," he replies, "Just, I—I like your hair."
She smiles wider. "Thank you."
"It's good to see you."
"I know. I'm sorry it's been a while. How have your dreams been?"
"Not bad," he replies with a shrug. They still have their arms around each other, and neither of them wants to pull away. So they don't. And then he says, "but, Rey—why—why am I still in this dream? Why aren't I waking up?"
Rey frowns at him. "You…you don't remember what happened?"
"No, I do.… I remember battling Kylo Ren. But I don't remember what he did to me. I thought I'd be awake by now."
"He…," she falters. Tightens her grip on him. "He, well…he put a lightsaber through your back. And…when I left you on the base, you were in a coma. But the doctors said you're going to wake up. It's…it's just a matter of time."
Finn hesitates for a moment, but then nods. "I—okay," he says. "Okay."
Rey moves closer. "You're going to be okay."
"…I know."
Slightly hesitantly, he leans in and rests his forehead against hers. He'd half expected her to pull away, but she doesn't; instead, she just tightens her grip around him and pushes further against his forehead.
They sit for hours, by the lake. Their hands end up entwined, and they sit like that for a while. They talk, mostly. But also just sit in silence; listening to the waves lap against the pebbles, the gentle wind blowing around them, the birds tweeting in the trees.
And then, Rey is standing up, walking towards the water.
Finn stands up, following her down on to the pebbles of the shore. They stand there, looking out across the view that stretches before them.
"On the island, where I am with Luke," Rey starts moments later, "we're surrounded by water. It's more water than I ever imagined could be in one single place."
"Do you swim in it?"
She smiles out at the water ahead of her. Finn's watching her from the side; admiring how the sun catches on her hair and her eyelashes and how her skin glows in the light. "I can't swim. Kind of happens when you grow up on a desert planet."
"Oh. Right. Yeah."
"And, besides, Luke says the water here has creatures in it that makes the water unsafe. Apparently the water at the Resistance base is nice, though. According to Poe."
Finn's eyes light up. "You met Poe?"
Rey turns to him and smiles. "Yeah. I knew him for a couple of days before I left for Ach-To."
"Is…is he okay?"
"He's fine. Worried about you, but…fine."
"That's…that's great."
"Yeah. He's nice."
A beat of silence passes over them.
"So…the place where you are with Luke. What does it look like?"
"It's…green. And rocky. Lots of little islands. And surrounded by ocean. It's more water than I've ever seen, and everywhere I go I can hear it against the cliffs, crashing and churning. It's beautiful, Finn. Maybe we'll meet there in a dream."
Finn smiles fondly. "That'd be nice."
She reaches down, slips off her shoes, and steps closer to the edge of the water.
"Wait—I thought you said you couldn't swim?" Finn asks, panicking a little, hastily following her.
"Calm down," Rey chuckles fondly, turning to face him and offering a reassuring smile. "I'm not going in. I'm just dipping my toes. It feels nice." When she turns around, her grin widens when the shore laps against her toes and covers her feet a little. "It's so cool and fresh and wonderful. Try it!"
Finn looks dubious, but he starts pulling off his shoes anyway, and then hesitantly moves so he's beside her. The tiny little waves come back in, and he smiles as they cover his feet.
"You're right," he says. "It's nice."
Rey grins at him. "When I'm back at D'Qar, will you teach me how to swim?"
"Of course. I'd be honoured."
Reaching out, Rey takes his hand and laces their fingers together. She squeezes, offering him a small smile. "Thank you."
This time, when the dream begins to fade and Finn asks her when she's coming back, she smiles and hugs him, tight but quick.
"I'm working on it."
"Rey?" Finn asks, a frown instantly working its way on to his face. He rushes towards where she's sitting on a rock, gazing out at the ocean with her knees up at her chest and tears on her cheeks. He doesn't recognise this place, but that thought only briefly crosses his mind because he's too busy running towards Rey. She doesn't look at him. "Rey? Hey, Rey…you okay? What's wrong?" He reaches out, going to touch her arm, but then decides against it. She doesn't look at him. Doesn't even act like she's noticed he's there.
Tentatively, he settles down on the rock beside her, still watching the side of her face. He's cautious. Nervous.
Finn waits a few moments, just letting the wind pass over them both. She still isn't talking, so he takes a moment to taste the salt on his lips, hear the sound of the waves crashing against the cliffs below them.
And then he turns to her again, and shuffles closer. She brings a hand up to wipe her cheek, because the tears are pouring down relentlessly, and her lip keeps trembling. She looks so upset. Finn feels such a strong urge and want to just take whatever pain it is away; to try and make her feel better however he possibly can.
"Rey," Finn says, and his voice is so soft, so quiet. "Rey, talk to me."
Finally, Rey turns her head to face him, and her eyes slowly come up to meet his. She sniffs, wiping away another tear. And when she speaks, her voice is so quiet, he can barely hear it above the noise of the wind.
"He's my father."
Finn frowns. He leans in a little, confused. "What?"
"Luke," she whispers, shrugging one shoulder as her bottom lip trembles again. "Luke. He's my father."
"Wait—Luke, as in—"
"Luke Skywalker. Yes."
"What? How—what—he's your father? Why—how—?"
"…He left me on Jakku when I was a girl to protect me from Snoke and…and Kylo Ren," Rey answers the questions that can't quite make it out his mouth. She shuffles in closer. More tears fall over the edges of her eyes and down on to her cheeks. As if by instinct, Finn reaches out and takes her hand, using his spare hand to wipe away the tears. He waits patiently for her to continue. "Leader Snoke had already begun seducing Kylo—Ben—to the dark side, and me being the descendant of the Skywalker himself; Luke, he…he knew he had to protect me. So he sent me as far away as he possibly could, to keep me safe; to make sure that Snoke would never find me, so he couldn't seduce me to the Dark Side like he—like he did to Kylo," Rey is sobbing now, her words coming out between gasps for air and her tears gathering in pools against the corners of her lips. Her eyes are bright red, full of so many different emotions. Finn doesn't know what else to do except move in even closer and pull her in to a hug.
Rey lets him hold her, burying her face in to his neck and continuing to cry. He wraps his arms securely around her frame and smoothes a hand over her hair, resting his chin on top of her head. She's still crying, so loudly, and he can feel the shakes of her body against his.
He doesn't know what to say. What can he possibly say to make this better? There are no words to help her right now, and it kills him.
But then Rey brings her hand up and clings on to his shirt like it's a lifeline, and pushes her face further against his neck, and Finn gets the feeling that he doesn't need to say anything. He just needs to be here.
"I can't believe…," Rey starts, still sobbing. "I can't believe this. This is all so much for me to take in. Luke Skywalker—my father. Kylo Ren is…my cousin. And—and the Force is so strong in me that my own family had to send me away to keep me safe from someone as dangerous as Snoke, because he might want to use me for my power. To kill people. To ruin lives. How twisted is that? I was just a little girl, Finn, I—I had no choice in any of it!"
"I know," he whispers. "I know. Shhh. It's okay." He continues to stroke her hair, and she wraps an arm around his waist.
"I thought I wasn't wanted," she whispers moments later, and her voice breaks; it's so quiet, so husky, that he isn't sure how she even managed to speak at all. "All that time, a part of me thought that I…that I wasn't good enough…,"
"No," Finn says, "No, Rey. You know that's not the reason. It was to protect you, Rey, you know that now."
"I know. But it doesn't change the fact that I was left on my own for all those years. And I'm—I'm not even angry at Luke. I'm angry at Kylo. And Snoke. Because if it wasn't for them, then this wouldn't have happened to me. I wouldn't have been sent away. I wouldn't have been alone, so lonely, just barely surviving.
I can't believe that this is all their fault—I—I'm thinking some things towards them that I probably shouldn't. I…I want to…I want to…,"
"I know," Finn stops her, his voice gentle. "I know what you want to do to them, Rey. I've felt it, too. But you know you can't. That's not the right way."
Rey remains silent. She sniffs again. Wipes her eyes. "I know. I know that, deep down. I do. But it's just…,"
"…I know."
A few silent moments pass. Rey's tears cease a little, but she keeps a firm hold of him.
"Finn," She whispers.
"Yeah?"
"I wish you were here. Properly here."
"I know," he holds her tighter for a moment. "I do, too."
Silence passes over them, and Finn takes a moment to feel her breath brushing against his neck, her hair under his hand, and hear the way her breaths are slowing a little. He may not be able to fix this situation or make it go away – make her pain go away – but this feels good; to be there for someone. For Rey. For Rey; his best friend, the person he always thinks of, the person who always comes back to him in her dreams. He cares so much. So, so much.
"Do you think…," Rey starts, but falters and bites her lip, not sure how to say what she wants to say.
"…Do I think what?"
"Do you think that, um, maybe…maybe you…you have the Force, too? I mean…is that how we're doing this? How we're speaking in our dreams?"
Finn blinks. His brow furrows, unsure what to make of what she'd said to him. "I…I don't know if the Force is something someone has…,"
"Well, it's something that's inside you, isn't it?"
"I—I suppose so.…"
"So…do you think you might have it?"
He thinks for a moment. Could it be possible? Could he have the Force—could he be sensitive to it? Know it, learn it…use it?
"I don't know," he says, and his answer is so genuine. He really, really doesn't know. "I guess I hadn't thought about how we were doing this. But no. I mean, maybe…I guess?"
"Maybe I should ask Luke…"
"Yeah," Finn nods. "Maybe."
"I guess I should start calling him 'dad' now.…"
"I'm sure he won't mind whatever you call him."
"…Finn?"
"Hmm?"
"Thank you."
Finn chuckles lightly, and Rey feels it in his chest. "For what?"
"For being there for me. It's…nice. To have someone to tell these things to."
"You're welcome. So welcome, Rey. I'll always be there for you."
Rey feels another wave of tears come, but for a different reason, this time, and she just holds him tighter.
And, a while later, when Rey starts to fade again, he asks, like always.
"When are you coming back to base?"
But, this time, she gives him the tiniest of smiles. "Not too long, I hope."
Weeks pass. They meet almost every night, when Rey sleeps. It's the best part of her day; she tries desperately to fall sleep quickly, not because she wants to escape reality, like on Jakku—but because she can't wait to see Finn again.
One night, when they meet, the dream feels…different.
They're standing by another lake, and Rey can tell that it's a lake on D'Qar; it's surrounded by trees and shrubbery, the rich green bushes hanging down and dipping in to the water all the way around. She can't quite put a finger on what feels different about this dream, but it definitely does; the air feels cleaner, fresher; more…breathable.
Finn turns to her when he hears her approaching, and the grin on his face is bright enough to outshine the sun that shines in the sky.
"Finn!" She grins in return (it's impossible not to grin when he's grinning like that), and hurries towards him.
"Rey!" He laughs, and he runs closer, meeting her halfway. And then he's gathering her up in his arms, lifting her off the ground and spinning around.
Rey laughs. "Finn! It's just me! It's not that exciting!" she's giggling, though, and when he puts her down, his grin is huge; Rey has never seen him smile this much. (It suits him. It really suits him).
"It's just…it's been such a good day. And I'm so glad you're here. I mean…not really here, but you know. Almost here!"
Their arms are still around each other, his hands pressed gently in to the small of her back.
Rey smiles. "What's so good about today?"
"Rey, I woke up today. I came out of my coma."
Rey's mouth falls open a little, a smile tugging at the corners, and tears sting the backs of her eyes. She tightens her grip around him and moves even closer. "Finn…," she whispers, her voice catching, "that's…that's amazing. That makes me so happy." She moves back in again, then, and clings to him. Her arms wrap around him. So tightly. So securely. She pushes her face in to his neck, trying to breathe in his scent, to memorise what he feels like around her.
"I wish I could've been there when you woke up," Rey says.
"It's okay," Finn holds her tighter and slightly moves his nose against her hair. "Don't feel bad, Rey. I understand."
"I'm just so glad we can meet like this. In dreams. I'm so glad that I haven't been without you all this time."
Finn smiles over her shoulder. "Me too."
"I knew you would wake up. And I knew we'd see each other again," when Rey pulls away, she realises that her tears have fallen and are coating her cheeks.
Finn frowns. "Are you alright?"
"I'm just…," she smiles wetly. Hesitantly, her hand comes up to his cheek, and she sits it there, smoothing her thumb over his cheekbone. "I'm just so, so happy. That you're awake. That you're living a life again."
Finn smiles too. His eyes shine with something – something Rey has seen before, but can't quite describe – and there are suddenly tears gathering along the edges. He opens his mouth just a little as if he wants to say something, but then it closes again, thinking better of his words.
Rey frowns a little, curious. "What?"
"N—Nothing, I just…," Finn falters. But instead of speaking, he leans in, pressing his forehead against hers and closing his eyes. "You're just…you're really great."
"That's you."
"You're better."
Rey chuckles, and Finn is sure now; sure that Rey's laugh, in all its forms, is definitely, without a doubt, the best sound he's ever heard.
"Finn," she starts, moments later. Her hand is still cupping his cheek, thumb rubbing circles against his skin.
"Yeah?"
"You mean so much to me."
Finn's smile is small, but so delighted. He opens his eyes, pulling back just a little to look at her. Carefully, but not hesitant, he brings his hand up and brushes the backs of his fingers down her cheek. His eyes search hers, silently asking her if this is okay. She hears his question, somehow, in the back of her mind.
Wordlessly, Rey nods. She leans her head slightly in to his touch and smiles, letting her eyes fall closed. His fingers leave a trail of sparks along her skin. She's never felt anything like it before, and it feels like the idea of it should terrify her; like someone touching her cheek like this should feel unnerving and unnatural. But it's Finn. It's Finn touching her, making her skin rise in to goosebumps at the feel of his fingers gently ghosting over her face, and it couldn't feel more perfect.
Her spare hand comes to hold his wrist as he settles his palm half against her cheek and half against her jaw. His thumb smoothes back and forth, tracing little patterns.
Rey takes in a deep breath, letting herself melt in to this moment. She can feel him watching her; feel his eyes roaming her face and, if she reaches out with the Force, she can feel his smile without needing to open her eyes. She feels his happiness and contentment. She can actually feel that he's alive now; that he's no longer in this dream because it's caused by a coma. He feels more awake, in a strange way. More real.
When Rey opens her eyes again, she can't help but smile at the look in his eyes.
And then she takes a short breath in. It's hesitant; a simple intake of breath as she thinks over her next words. Now or never.
"Finn…I…I don't know what love feels like," Rey starts, her voice a mere whisper. Her forehead is a little wrinkled, and she can feel that Finn is concerned by it. As a comfort, she smiles gently, to reassure him a little. "…I've never…been loved. I've never had anyone around me to love, or to show me what love feels like. But I—I feel something with you, Finn. And I might not know if this is love, but I think I know what love means. And I know that—well, I know that, when you love someone, you always find your way back to them. And they'll never leave you behind. And they'll always make you feel happy, and safe, and…content."
"Rey…," Finn whispers, not as the beginning of a sentence; more as a thought spoken aloud; a remark at his feelings towards where this conversation is going.
Rey is looking at him, seeming hesitant and nervous as she spills her feelings to him. She's never been this open with someone. But it's Finn. It doesn't feel as scary as she'd expected.
"…And, so, what I'm trying to say is that I…well. I think I…I think I might love you."
Almost cautiously, Finn's lips spread in to a small smile, eyes filling with hope, and a new, bright light. "You do?"
Rey smiles, too, and nods. "I do."
"I—I love you too, Rey. I love you too."
"You…you do?"
"Yeah. I know I do. I love you. A lot, actually."
Rey grins, and then laughs, and Finn laughs, too. They're both so full of joy in this moment; and it shows on every inch of their faces. She brings her other hand up to his cheek, grinning at him so widely that Finn can see most of her teeth.
Their foreheads come together again, and Finn lets the ends of his fingers settle right where her hair starts.
(But he's wanted to fully run his hands through it ever since he first saw it out of her usual buns).
Silence falls upon them, the gentle sound of water and tweeting birds surrounding them. Finn can feel Rey's breath on his face, and vice-versa, and it's one of the most perfect feelings they've ever known.
"Finn," Rey says suddenly, breaking the silence. "Can I try something?" Her voice is tiny and small.
Finn is pretty sure he knows what she's going to do – at least, he's hoping she'll do what he's thinking of – and just the thought of it is enough to send his heartbeat racing and make his mouth dry. "Y—Yes," he stammers, unable to properly articulate his words.
Biting her lip, Rey tilts her chin up ever so slightly. She's still hesitant, and moving so slow. Her hand slides back a little, fingertips now running over his hair.
And then, it happens.
She moves in the last few centimetres, closing that tiny space between them; and gently, oh so gently, touches her lips to his.
It's better than…well. It's better than anything; everything.
It's just a simple touch of their lips together; Finn's top lip caught between both of Rey's, and it's so gentle. But it creates a warmth, a feeling of happiness and something even more overwhelming, in the pits of their stomachs. Rey thinks that it feels a little like using the Force; like there's something there, working for you, helping you. Using the Force is being in control, but something controlling you, too – guiding you, making things clearer and easier – and it opens up a whole new world of possibilities. The Force is fullness and emptiness at the same time.
That's what kissing Finn feels like to Rey. It feels like everything and nothing all at once. It's bliss. Heaven. What Rey has always imagined feeling: safe, content, peaceful.
Their lips part after a few long, long seconds. Finn's eyes flutter open just a little, and he smiles when he sees that Rey's eyes are still closed, and her lips are still slightly parted.
And then his lips are on hers again. This time it's a little firmer; and somehow it's better. They readjust their positions; Rey, more confident now, wrapping her arms entirely around his neck to bring him closer, her fingertips gently kneading against the soft hair at the back of his neck. His hands trace down her arms, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake, then settle against her ribcage, fingers spread out against the fabric of her shirt.
His lips start to move with hers, and everything is suddenly so warm and wet; their lips come apart and then back together, again and again and again, and Rey sighs happily against his lips. It's all breath and lips, mingling together, creating a magic neither of them has ever known before.
After another few long, delicious moments, Rey experimentally traces her tongue along his bottom lip. Just as he reciprocates and allows her entrance, though, the familiar feeling of Rey turning to cotton under his touch starts to settle in.
"No," he says, almost whining, breaking away from her lips for just a moment before going back to kiss her again. His lips are wet from her mouth, forehead wrinkled as he tries, desperately, to feel the proper firmness of her lips against his once more.
"Finn, I'm waking up," Rey whispers, and all of a sudden there are tears on her cheeks. She leans back in, tries to kiss him, but passes right through him. "No."
"No," Finn echoes, trying desperately to hold her again; to feel her under his hands, under his lips; to feel her breath on his cheeks and in his lungs. "Rey, don't go."
"I can't stop. I can't stop it. I can't. I'm sorry." Reaching out, she tries to touch his face. But her hand passes through, as if he's not even there; as if he's just a holo. Just an image in her head. I suppose that's exactly what this is, she thinks.
"When are you coming back?"
Surprisingly, though, Rey's lips spread in to the tiniest of smiles, and she blows a kiss to him with her hand. "Soon. I promise."
Soon.
Yeah. Soon.
Finn can live with that.
On the journey home, back to D'Qar, Rey falls asleep in her quarters. She had originally insisted on staying awake, but Chewie and Luke had practically forced her to go and take a nap; they said she looked exhausted, and that she'd need all the energy she could get for the business they had to attend to when back at base.
She meets Finn again, in her dreams, and runs to him.
"Finn!" She cries. "Finn!"
He turns to her, and Rey realises that he's standing in the woods; she can feel that it's D'Qar.
"Rey!" He grins, running to her. He gathers her in his arms when she gets to him, and she just can't stop smiling.
"Finn," Rey whispers, her face pressed in to his neck, "I'm coming home. I'm going to be with you really soon."
"What?" Finn grins, pulling back to look at her. His grin is so bright and so very, very contagious. "Oh my gosh, Rey! I can't believe it! I get to see you again!"
"You have to wake up for when I'm back."
"This is the first time you're actually telling me to wake up," Finn chuckles, and Rey feels it in his chest, under where her hand is sitting.
Rey giggles. "I know."
Finn opens his mouth a little, but before he talks, he hesitates. "I…what you said to me. A few days ago, in our dream. Our…you know, our—our kiss. Does all of that…still stand in real life? When we're not in this dream land?"
Rey smiles softly, bringing her hand up to sit against his cheek. "…If you want it to."
"Yes," Finn gushes before thinking. Awkwardly, he clears his throat and looks away. "I mean—um. Yes. I would quite like that, Rey. But I—I don't mind, if you decide that it's not what you want."
"It is." Rey says, so simply, so easily. The words make Finn's heart leap in his chest, and he grins even wider.
"Really?"
"Yes," she giggles, bringing her spare hand up to the other side of his face.
"Awesome."
Grinning, Rey starts to lean forward. Finn's grin turns in to a small, anticipating smile, and their eyes begin to close as their lips get closer.
But then Rey is fading again. She has to let him go, because her hands will slip through him once more, and it's always a weird and unsettling feeling.
Finn whimpers. "No, Rey, come back to me." He tries to hold her, but he's just grabbing the air, unable to get hold of anything, not even her hand.
"I am coming back to you, Finn. I'm waking up because we're almost ready to land. I'm seeing you. In a short time."
Finn grins. There's a mischievous glint in his eyes. "But you were going to kiss me."
"Oh, we'll have plenty of time for that when I get back."
He chuckles, eyes sparkling at her. This time, he doesn't need to ask her when she's coming back.
She's slowly becoming more and more see-through as the seconds pass, as though she's made of water. And then she's gone; but Finn had watched her for as long as he could.
And then, he makes himself wake up.
He can't believe this is really happening.
Rey puts the Falcon in to land, and then she jumps up from her seat – before Luke has even said it's okay to leave her post – and heads towards the boarding ramp.
Moments later, once the ship is thoroughly within the planet's atmosphere and they're not far from the ground, Luke, Chewie and R2-D2 come to stand beside her. She's bouncing in her spot, hands wringing together.
"I sense great excitement and anticipation," Luke says from behind her, a smile in his voice.
When Rey turns to face him, she smiles, too. "Yes. I've been waiting for this moment for a long time."
"I'm intrigued to meet the boy you've told me so much about."
"You'll love him. Everyone loves Finn."
Luke smiles and opens his mouth to reply, but the Falcon suddenly shudders and rocks them around, and a noise from the cockpit indicates that they've landed and all systems have been shut down.
It's time.
"Ready?" Luke asks.
Rey takes a deep breath, still looking at Luke – her dad – and nods once. "I'm ready."
Just before Luke reaches out to press the 'open' button for the ramp, he brings his hand up to Rey's shoulder, offering her a small smile. He squeezes comfortingly. Rey smiles in return, feeling his presence in the Force like a comfort; something familiar and, slightly more unfamiliar; familial. She brings her hand up to briefly sit on top of his where it remains on her shoulder, and they nod once to each other, before he lets go and presses the button.
Luke is the first down the ramp, followed by R2 and Chewbacca. They're greeted with loud cheers from the large crowd of people, and a familiar figure with braided hair runs out from the heart of the crowd to the front, embracing Luke in a tight hug.
Rey closes her eyes for a moment and takes a calming breath. Clenches her fists at her sides. Reaches out with the Force, and feels it. Feels him. Finn's familiar, warm, comforting presence. Her heart is racing, beating heavily in her chest. She's not sure if it's nerves or anticipation, but she has to push it aside, because she knows Finn is waiting for her.
Opening her eyes, Rey squares her shoulders. Then she takes a few steps forward, on to the ramp, and scans the crowd for him.
She sees him in an instant; running and pushing through the large crowd towards the Falcon, pushing people gently aside and running so awkwardly between people that it almost looks like he's hopping. Rey's breath catches in her throat. He's just how he's looked in every single one of her dreams; if not even more handsome now that he's in person.
And he's awake, and alive, and his face is full of so much expression and life that it makes tears gather in Rey's eyes.
Finn.
He looks up when he reaches the front of the crowd and spots her straight away. She's frozen in her place at the base of the ramp, for a moment just staring at him, with wide eyes and a slightly open mouth.
Finn's face lights up; his grin is so big, and he's smiling so hard that his eyes crinkle at the corners.
"Rey!"
Finally, Rey lets herself smile. As he gets closer, her whole body relaxes. She doesn't need to be nervous. It's Finn.
"Finn," she says, although it comes out as a mere whisper, and suddenly she's not frozen in place anymore. She's running towards him, as fast as she can, and he's doing the same.
Soon, they meet in the middle, and wrap themselves up in each others' embrace as soon as they're close enough.
"You're here," Finn whispers, laughing in glee. He holds her so tight. So close to him. "You're really here."
"I'm here." Rey pushes her face in to his neck and breathes in his scent. Holding him in her dreams was wonderful, and it was enough to keep her going until she returned; but it was nothing compared to the real thing. He feels so much more real in this moment; so much more touchable. And she knows that neither of them is suddenly going to fade away, so she holds on tighter, feeling tears on her face. He's real. This is real. He's warm and smells so familiar around her.
"We're not dreaming?" Finn asks. He brings one hand up to stroke the back of her hair. (Her hair is still down, just like in their dreams).
"No," Rey laughs.
"You're here."
"I'm here," reluctantly, Rey pulls back, but she keeps her arms around him. She's crying; her cheeks soaked with tears. Finn reaches out and touches her face, wiping away the tears with his thumbs. Rey leans in to his touch; closes her eyes for a moment. When she opens them again, she smiles softly, bringing her hands up to cup his cheeks. "I'm sorry it took me so long."
Finn chuckles wetly, stroking her cheekbone. "It's okay. You're here now."
"Yes. I'm here."
And then, carefully, she leans in. She presses their lips together; softly and tentatively, much like the first kiss they shared in their dream. But it's less inexperienced and clumsy; their lips are open and moving together in an instant, and suddenly Finn's hands are in her hair – properly in her hair; his fingers getting tangled in between her locks – and Rey's arms are tightly wrapped around his neck, bringing him as close as possible.
"I missed you," Rey whispers in between kisses. "I missed you—" she can't talk for long, because she just keeps wanting to kiss him – "—so much."
"I missed you too." He can only murmur against her lips before they kiss again.
After a moment or two, the pair suddenly become very aware of the fact that they aren't, in fact, alone out here on the landing base. The crowds aren't aware of them standing there, wrapped in each other's embrace, but Finn and Rey realise that it might not be entirely appropriate.
Pulling away, Finn clears his throat awkwardly, and smirks. Rey giggles, letting her forehead fall against his shoulder for a moment. She's blushing when her eyes meet his again.
"That was…,"
"The best thing I've ever done." Rey finishes for him, a grin on her lips.
Finn raises a playful eyebrow and strokes at her cheek again with his thumb. "Oh yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Me, too."
They take a moment like that. Silent, steady, peaceful. Just looking each other all over; taking in eyes and noses and cheeks and chins and lips. They're both crying again. This is the first time they've properly looked at each other in person. Somehow, everything about each other is even more stunning.
"Hi." Rey smiles, as if she's only just arrived. As if she's seeing him for the first time.
Finn grins. "Hi."
"…Can I just say something?"
"Of course."
"I love you."
Finn's smile is so wide and beautiful that it makes Rey smile, too. It always does. "I love you too, Rey."
Rey kisses him again. Just once, and just quickly. She strokes his hair with one of her hands, and presses their foreheads together. "I know."
A/N: Ah, the extremely original "I love you" "I know". Wow. I wonder where I got that from?! It's a true mystery tbh.
And yes, I did take "I want to know more about your beginnings" from Once Upon a Time, bc what a cute and beautiful line!?
I've literally been working on this for months; it's been one of those things that I've sort of dipped in and out of and written 100 or so words for here and there. And it's finally finished! :') It's been so long since I've written a purely Finnrey one-shot – I'm so happy that I did this.
I really hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it :) please do leave kudos if so, and leave a comment to let me know what you think, because comments are what I live and breathe for.
Thank you for reading! :)
Love :* xxx
PS. If you're reading this before the TCAs, go vote for Finn and Rey for best on screen chemistry! :)