A/N: Hello. Just another drabble I made last minute while I'm waiting for Source Filmmaker to download. It was originally supposed to be Magic Missiles, but I didn't know where to start with that, lol. But all that aside, please enjoy this short little fic.

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"Soldier!" Merasmus shouted, green particles dotting the area around his eyes. "What did you do to my paint set?" The wizard angrily stormed about the house, desperate to find the culprit of the monstrosity in his bedroom. His knuckles were white in his clenched fist. Oh, you have no idea how close he was to cursing that stupid, little, insufferable, moronic, aggravating, outrageous little-!

"Oh, there you are Merasmus! Did you see your gift I made you?" That same stupid smile was plastered on the Soldier's face; the smile he always sees and dreads. It meant the little bugger was up to something, or in this case, has done something.

"Present?" He asked quickly, too prepared to release his anger to focus on anything else for too long. "What present?"

"The one I made in your bedroom!" His teeth glistened, his laugh lines pulled at his cheeks.

At his response, a bolt of anger struck down the wizard's spine, causing his body to tremble furiously. Merasmus had just about had enough of this foolishness. This time, this idiot of a roommate was going to get it. Big time. Enraged, the wizard let out a wicked yell as he pointed his middle finger at the unsuspecting Soldier, a light green spark traveling from his nail to the other man's chest.

Almost immediately, the latter shrank down onto the dusty floor, his desperate yells of mercy rising a few octaves in the process. When all was said and done, Merasmus clutched the back of the tiny Soldier's shirt between his pointer finger and thumb, holding him high above the dusty ground to make him level with his face.

"Oh hello Soldier," Merasmus began, a light air to his voice. "How are you liking your new size? It's fitting, hm?"

The tiny mercenary swung spastically in his roommate's strong grip, his high pitched voice screaming nasty complaints and insults. "You get me back to my original size you hippie or I'll hide your heart medication again!"

This only erupted a wicked laugh from the wizard as he began to walk towards the kitchen. "You know Soldier, come to think of it, that size isn't fitting at all." He contemplated, setting the young man down in the sink. Another zap sounded followed by another lighthearted laugh. The Soldier's head had grown thrice as big and his small body was having trouble supporting it. "There! Now it's better!"

"Damn it Merasmus!" Soldier cursed, stumbling over and hitting his head on the cool metal beneath him. "Change me back!"

"Oh no. No, no, no, no, no, not this time. Soldier It's high time you learned your place and start to respect me! I am a wizard after all, and you mortals can't even begin to understand the complications I go through on a daily basis." He rubbed his nails on his robe. "So therefore, you're going to stay like this until you've apologized. Either that or until you've cleared out all these raccoons; I'm starting to wake up with strange claw marks on my body. Until then, farewell."

Turning, he left the small, hopeless, defenseless Soldier to himself, not giving a second thought on the chaos that was about to unfold. Instead, he headed into his bedroom to begin cleaning up the mess Soldier had made.

He drifted awake, his vision blurry at first, but slowly focusing over the span of several seconds. He attempted to move, but realized he was hoisted slightly above the floor by his wrists; rusty metal chains constricting the movement of his arms.

"Ah, awake now are we, Merasmus?" Came the high pitched tone of Soldier, his location unknown but his voice loud and clear. A band of snickers followed after that; an orchestra of scuffling feet sounding as slowly, a dozen or so raccoons came into view; the one and only Soldier mounting the biggest one, the leader of them all.

Panic surged through Merasmus's old, blue veins. "Soldier, what is the meaning of this! Get me down now!" He was confused as hell. How did this little idiot manage to get out of the sink when he was so tiny? And with that big head of his, it makes it all the more concerning.

"Not until you change me back. Until then I will just stare at you."

This game, eh? A piece of cake.

"Fine, I will change you back. First, free me mortal."

"And why should I? You could betray me like you already have!" He pointed an accusing finger towards Merasmus's chest. In unison, the army of raccoons began to growl, a white foam fizzing from a few of their mouths.

Merasmus was reluctant at first, but finally gave in. Even if he did leave him chained up, he wouldn't leave him there forever, would he? The true answer screamed up from the pit of his stomach, but he decided not to dwell on it any longer. Instead, he pointed his finger up to the tiny man and-

zap

-he was back to normal.

His instant weight killed the alpha raccoon beneath him, but none seemed to care. One less pest to worry the exterminator with, Merasmus mused. "Now untie me."

"Hm. No." Soldier's face remained stoic, his helmet shielding his true intentions. With that, he turned, waving his hand up in a farewell as he left Merasmus with the raccoons.

"What-" The wizard couldn't believe what he had heard. Then again, he expected it, but was still somehow strangely disappointed. Why? Did he honestly expect Soldier to stay true to his word? However the hungry growls before him ripped him from his thoughts as the group of raccoons edged their way towards him. Their eyes screamed of ferocity and their mouths dripped with fizz and saliva.

"DAMN YOU SOLDIER!" He screamed as the first pounced, soon followed by the rest as he was eaten alive.