Title: Infidelity, Revisited
Author: Violet Scarlet Lily
Summary: Jack's been away for a few days, and Kate feels alone. She feels like she needs somebody. She goes to Sawyer. It's a complete vicious cycle, because when he's angry at her, she kisses him, and he kisses her back, and soon she's betrayed Jack and he's betrayed Juliet. There are more consequences than any of them could have anticipated. Love is never simple, and of all people, these four should know.
Rating: High T/Low M. Eh, I'm no good at ratings. Mature themes, but no explicit content.
Characters: Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Juliet. Will have spots of Charlie, Hurley, and Claire.
Pairings: Jack/Kate (Jate), Sawyer/Kate (Skate), Sawyer/Juliet (Suliet), Jack/Juliet (Jacket). I'm not sure what the endgame of this story is yet, but any of these pairings may appear. Background Charlie/Claire.
Jack's been away for a few days, and Kate feels alone.
It's that simple. She feels like she needs somebody. She goes to Sawyer and she gets drunk and makes him angry, the way she always does. It's a complete vicious cycle, because when he's angry at her, she kisses him, and he kisses her back, and soon she's betrayed Jack and he's betrayed Juliet.
She smiles at him.
"I love you, Jack, you know that?"
"And I love you, you know that?"
She looks stricken for a second.
"I'm being serious, no matter what, nothing changes that I love you."
His smile drops off his face, and he looks at her, his eyes trying to search hers.
"I'm being serious too, Kate. Nothing will ever change this. Why do you say that? Did something happen?"
She looks around, her nervousness sticking out like a sore thumb.
"No, no, nothing happened."
"Is there something you want to tell me?"
She tries to smile at him. She's always been a good liar, but there's something about the way he looks at her that makes it hard. She looks down, then back up at him.
"No, there's nothing I need to tell you."
He sighs, but lets the issue drop.
"You'll let me know if there is, right?"
"Yeah, sure," she says, and then quickly changes the subject, "So where were you the past few days?"
"I went around in the jungle, looking for supplies. Nothing special. What about you? What've you been up to?"
"I – uh…I hung out with Sawyer and Claire. Next time…take me with you when you go."
"It wouldn't be fun without my Kate with me."
"I like the sound of that," she says, smiling softly, "Things go to pieces without you to fix them."
"I'm glad I can count on one thing not falling apart," he says, and kisses her on the cheek.
She looks away.
"You're too good, Jack."
He raises his eyebrows.
"Too good? I hope that's a good thing."
She tries to smile at him.
They walk around the jungle together later that day, smiling, making each other laugh.
"So, Kate, I gotta ask, are you happy?"
His tone was easy, but she gets worried.
"Not when you're not around. Why would you ask something like that?"
"Whoa, whoa, I was just thinking about how happy I am with you…are you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I'm sorry, I thought…I'm sorry, I overreacted."
He's instantly filled with concern for her.
"Why are you so jumpy?"
"I don't know."
She looks around, the nervousness from earlier returning.
"Are you okay, Kate?"
She nods weakly, her façade slipping with every question he asks.
"Just fine."
He puts his hands on her waist, and she feels dirty.
"Kate. What's wrong?" he asks comfortingly, his thumb rubbing gentle circles into the skin above her hip bone.
She puts her arms around his neck.
"Nothing."
He sighs, and wraps his arms around her.
"You promise?"
She doesn't say anything, her hands only clutching him tighter, as if she'd lose him if she let go. He pulls her closer.
She mumbles in his ear.
"You love me even when I do terrible things, right?"
"Of course, Kate, nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes…"
He runs his hand down her back, trying to soothe her.
"What if I made a mistake just a few days ago?"
Her breath tickles his ear, and though he can't see her face, he can tell she's near tears.
"What if I did something so awful that you could never forgive me?" she asks, her voice shaking like crazy.
"What could be so bad?"
"I don't want to say. You'll hate me. I did the worst thing I could do."
She sounds like a child.
"Listen, Kate. I'd rather have you hurt me with the truth than comfort me with a lie. We don't keep secrets from each other, okay?"
When he says that, she starts crying into his shoulder, and he's mystified.
"I'm so sorry," she sobs.
"What could do something like this to you? I love you, whatever it is, we can work through this."
She struggles to get the words out, as she starts to cry harder.
"I – I…I had…me and…while you were gone…I slept with…I slept with Sawyer…"
He lets go of her, backs away, all of his gentleness melting away into anger.
"What?!"
"I'm…I'm so…I'm so sorry…"
"Sawyer knows about us, Kate! I'm going to kill him!"
He turns to leave.
"No, Jack!"
She grabs his arm, trying to stop him from leaving.
"It was my fault, I was lonely and angry and drunk and it just happened…" she says, and then her voice starts to get panicky, "You can't tell Sawyer I told you!"
"It's just as much his fault as yours," he says angrily, "He could've said no! But don't worry, I won't tell him, I'll just hit him."
He pushes her arm off and starts walking away without looking back.
"Please don't go, Jack! Please, come back.."
A few hours later, she finds him along in the jungle, sitting, staring at a creek. She sits down next to him, and he tenses up. His knuckles are bloody, and she tries to take his hand in hers.
He jerks his hand away.
"Jack…"
"What, Kate?" he asks, his voice oozing sarcastic patience.
"It wasn't about feelings."
"Then what was it about?"
"I don't know."
"Kate…"
"I just felt lonely, and angry…"
"Angry at what?" he scoffs.
"Sawyer."
He almost glares at her, finding everything she says ridiculous.
"It's hard to explain," she says softly.
"No kidding."
"Don't do that, Jack."
"Don't do what? Don't be angry?! I have a right to be angry!"
She looks away, her lips quivering.
"I know you do."
"Am I not good enough for you?"
"No, no, don't say that, Jack, you're perfect…"
"Then why were you with Sawyer?!"
She has no answers for him.
"I don't know. But it wasn't about feelings. I love you. I don't love him. I thought that you wouldn't – that you didn't want me, that…"
He shakes his head at her.
"Of course I want you, Kate. I love you. But doing that…for me, that means commitment, I didn't want to scare you off."
Her face turns red at that.
"I'm sorry," she mumbles.
He pauses, takes a deep breath. Counts to five. And then he puts an arm around her shoulders.
"I know you are."
It takes a few minutes for her body to relax into his.
"I forgive you, Kate," he whispers in her ear, "And I still love you."
"I love you too," she breathes, the wind almost taking her voice away. But he hears it, and almost smiles.
"Sawyer," she states blankly, "We need to talk."
"All right, what is it?"
"In private."
"Whoa, there, Freckles, what's going on?"
"We need to talk in private."
"What's so serious?"
"Just come with me."
He rolls his eyes and follows her into a clearing.
"I'm late," she whispers.
"For what, your house payment?"
She is too frustrated to even be amused.
"This is all your fault!"
"Ain't my fault you can't keep up with your house payments."
"Sawyer!"
"What?"
""I'm – I'm…"
"Spit it out," he says, getting frustrated at her stuttering.
"We're – I'm…I'm…"
He stares at her, almost angry.
"I'm going to – I'm going to have a baby."
"That's dandy for you."
Her eyes well up with angry tears, her hands balled into fists.
"I'm sure Jack is over the moon," he says, his voice dripping sarcasm.
"How can you say that?" she whispers, her voice as intense as if she was screaming.
He raises an eyebrow.
"You know it's yours," she mumbles.
"No, I don't know."
"I do."
"You're sure?"
"Positive."
He glares at the ground.
"How can you be so sure?"
"Are you so upset that it's yours?"
"Yes, Kate, I am! You're not?"
"I – I don't know…yeah, I guess."
"I can't believe it," he mutters. He turns away and kicks a tree.
"I don't know what I'm going to do…"
"Your problem. Not mine."
"Sawyer…"
"Your problem. Not mine," he repeats.
"But you're – you're the one who…"
"I don't care what I am. I don't want anything to do with it."
"But…"
"But nothing."
"What am I gonna tell him?"
"Maybe that I knocked you up," he says sarcastically, rolling his eyes again.
"This is going to ruin everything."
"Read my lips, Freckles. Not. My. Problem."
She looks hurt and she has no idea why.
"What're you gonna tell it?"
"Why do you care?" she spits.
"Curiosity."
"I thought it wasn't your problem."
He pauses, leans against a tree, thinking for a while.
"Well…people are gonna know."
"No they're not."
He laughs a little, although without any semblance of humor.
"Yes they are. A kid's gonna resemble its father, in looks or personality or both."
He shrugs.
"They won't be anything like you," she says angrily, "Because he's going to raise them."
"How do you know that he'll stay? And more importantly, how do you know I won't tell everyone?"
She looks at him, complete fear in her eyes.
"You wouldn't."
"Maybe I would. Maybe you don't know that much about me."
"Why would you do that?!"
He shrugs again.
"See you around, Freckles."
He leaves her alone.