Disclaimer: I Own Nothing.

Who Am I?

Chapter 1.

You know the saying, when life hands you lemons you make lemonade. Well what happens when life hands me, an obsessive, shy and slightly dorky personality and an absolutely gorgeous man, with whom I can never touch? What the hell do I make? Okay, so the situations are a bit off, and what not. This situation seems more like Cinderella, and I'm going to have to say right now, that I never did like that fairytale all that much. Probably cause it hits so close to home that it depresses me even more. It's like the Grimm brothers or whoever wrote the blasted story, knew that there is a special breed of woman. The pathetic type pines after men, who they can never have a chance with. Wait, that wasn't Cinderella. I have just recently come to the conclusion that I perhaps need to read up on my fairytales one of these days. Please ignore the last couple of minutes of my mental monologue and acknowledge the fact I've had way too much sugar before this period. I'm so sick of sitting still, especially in this boring as class. Okay, it may only be boring because I've already covered the content, but still. Beautiful days like these shouldn't be wasted, the sun is out and well, now that I actually look out the window I'm not surprised to find that it is in fact raining. Yay, I love the rain. Yes I'm aware that it rains nearly every day here in La Push, but that only makes me happier. Whoever said that the rain makes you depressed was stupid. Or maybe it's just me. My money's on that, and so should yours.

I sigh and stretch my limbs in an attempt to move, but at the same time sit still. My left leg is jiggling up and down at a rapid speed and I'm coming dangerously close, to moving from sugar high to my destructive mood. Never a good thing. Distraction, distraction, distraction. I need to keep myself distracted from doing anything stupid. I get enough weird looks as it is. Okay so maybe I'm being a bit dramatic about all this. But anyone else would be the same if they were on the end of their sugar high and within touching distance of Jared Thail. Yes, that's what this has all been about, in case no one had noticed by now. Jared Thail, just saying the name...in my head, makes me shiver, think hyenas in the Lion King. Which reminds me, I haven't watched that in years, should go rent it tonight. Okay, straying, now where were we. Jared Thail, cue shiver. Okay, Jared is the boy, who recently transformed into a very gorgeous piece of man meat, who I have been in love with since maybe ninth grade. And I am the dorky, ridiculous girl who he has sat next to in every history class since then who he has never noticed. Well, that's not entirely correct. The word notice is incorrect in this circumstance. You don't notice the deranged psychopath behind you in the shower, before he grabs you. He would have to notice me, because somewhere in his gorgeous head, he would knows that in every class, we sit in pairs. He doesn't acknowledge me. Now that we've cleared up, any confusion with the definitions of said words, I think we should now acknowledge that this doesn't make me feel any better in the slightest. He notices me, but chooses not to acknowledge me. Okay, way to go from sugar high to destructive to depressed.

Now that we're on the depressed bandwagon, I may as well agree with his silent acknowledgement. I'm not worth acknowledging. I mean what is there that's so great about me. Now I haven't got self-esteem issues. I don't think I'm ugly, it's just that I'm not incredibly attractive either. I'm not even that happy medium. I'm unhappy to say, that I'm in the just above average territory. You know like that football team, that's not winning, not losing and not smack bang in the middle of the ladder either. Yeah, that's what I thought. Then there's the problem of my personality. Not everyone's cup of tea. I don't speak unless I really feel the need to make my opinions known, and then most people don't like what I've got to said, whether because it's true or it's just plain stupid. Then there's my chronic need not to give a damn about what most think about me. Okay, maybe that's a tad bit too badass. The only way I can put it is that I have my own standards and I keep to them, rather than everybody else's. That includes what I wear, how I act and how I treat others. Problem is, in a small town, when you don't do what everyone else does, but not in an overtly badass kind of way, your labelled weird. So that's who I am.

Weird Kim, who laughs too loudly with and at my best friend, Ruthanne. Weird Kim, who likes to walk home in the rain, just because she likes the rain. Weird Kim, who hangs out with her family and friends at home, rather than going and getting drunk with the rest of the idiots she goes to school with. I'm weird Kim, and I like it that way. Now let's jump off this depressing and self-illuminating bandwagon.

I sit back and discreetly send a glance to my right. He was gone for like two weeks a couple of weeks back and boy did them two weeks do him good. Not that he was bad before; he was hot before he left. He was average height of most blokes at around 17 years of age, incredible jaw, deep brown intense eyes and a perfect ass. If you like the sounds of him before, you ain't seen nothing yet. He is now massive, as in, he can barely fit through the door massive. He must have put on at least twenty or maybe even thirty pounds of extra muscle. Now most of you would be thinking, body builder. Don't. He's put all this muscle on and gained maybe seven more inches of height. He probably stands at around 6'6" now, maybe taller. The height gain has been balanced by his muscle gain. Perfection, that's the only way I can now describe his body. The intensity of his eyes has gone up seven fold as well. Before they held only the mischief of youth, now there is so much more depth to them. It's like they've darkened a shade and had ten years added to them. Sexy. Jared before was hot, Jared now is drool worthy. And regardless of the before and after, Jared is and will always be unattainable, to me at least. Now, we should all be mediating on why she is only talking about his looks. Shouldn't she also be recognizing his personality and how he treats others. Well truthfully, I have no idea what he's like. Because I hardly think it's fair to judge someone on how they act at school, or even in class. I have swift mood swings depending on my class, so why can't he. This is History, so I find it's understandable, well not really, I find it rude that he talks a lot of the way through. However, if we're in gym, he's the one who gets angry at those who don't pay attention. See, mood swings.

Now, why could I possibly like him than. I don't know him. Sure there are the hormones and the fact he is a hot piece of ass. But it's so much more than that. I just can't help but be obsessed with him. I get this feeling at the pit of my stomach, every time I look at him, that we're meant to be. Cliché enough for you or what? It's like I've already decided that he's what is best for me, regardless of everything. And now that I have given myself half the lesson to mediate on the reasons why I like Jared and of course, admire his beauty, I turn my attention to the clock, which has been ticking seamlessly by as if unaware of the effects it's having on everybody in the room. Five more minutes of this silent torture and I'm free. Free of school, of work, of these four walls and free of Jared's intoxicating presence. No one could help but be twitchy when sitting next to him. Whether it's because of his good looks or the fact he could crush you with, like his pinkie finger. I decide to hold a mental sing off in my head to pass the time before the bell rings, until I was rudely interrupted by the man in the seat next to mine.

"Oi, what do you want to do our project on?" I mentally shake myself and try and call upon my psychic powers. What project? Yep, blank, damn I should have been listening.

"Eh, project?" I question as I turn to look at him. Damn why did I look him in the eye. Now he's staring at me like I've grown a second head. Well, now that I have a closer look, as I'm unable to break eye contact, he seems to be looking at me, like I'm god's gift to man. Creepy.

"What's your name?" He blurts at me, still looking at me, with that creepy look. Wait, what did he say?

"Excuse me?" I ask with barely covered disbelief. Did he just ask me what my name was?

"Oh no you did not." I mutter under my breath. I felt like I was on Jerry Springer for saying it, but man it felt appropriate for a situation such as this. He just asked me what my names was, and what was with the look on his face. It hasn't changed since we initially made eye contact. Houston we have a problem.

"Um, what's your name?" he asked again. I just sit there looking at him, before I internally snap. I break eye contact and turn towards the front. A stream of profanities is piling at the entrance of my mouth just waiting to burst forward with such hostility I bet I could make him cower in fear. But I don't. There is no point in a situation like this. This just proved all theories associated with how much of a freaking nobody I really am. Oh no, I'm angry, and when I'm angry I cry. So not an appropriate time. It's especially bad, when I bottle my anger up. My emotions have never liked being kept on a leash, and they always find an interesting way of expressing themselves. He's still looking at me, but now I can feel his confusion. I look at him again, just to gauge what kind of reaction he's having. I catch but a glimpse of his confusion before it was replaced with that creepy look again. Then the bell rings. I take one more look at his face, the creepy look is still there, and I bolt. Well I attempt to anyway. Before I make it out of my seat, Mr Rigano is in front of me.

"Have you decided what you will be working on, over the next couple of weeks?" he asks, looking from me to Jared.

"No sir," we both answer together.

"I strongly suggest you both discuss this before either of you leave today."

"Yes sir," we both answer again, but I swear I detect happiness in Jared's voice as he answers. He wants to sit around and discuss history when we could be outside, playing in the rain. Well I could be anyways. I sit down, look dead ahead and wait for him to answer. My anger is returning to the bubbly surface and I'm scared that it's going to explode and tears will fall soon whether I want them to or not.

"Can you please tell me your name?" he pleads with me, I turn sharply and look at him. He actually looks kind of desperate, good.

"No, consider it punishment for not knowing the name of a classmate, who you've gone to school with since elementary. There's only like fifty people in our grade, how the hell can you not know everyone in your class? We're doing topic C and we're not starting till next week, because by next week, if you're lucky, I should be past my disgust at the fact you don't know my name and will be able to sit and talk to you without stabbing you in the eye with my pencil. Have a good weekend, Jared Thail."

My voice didn't waver from its icy tone, the entire way through my little speech. I give him one last disgusted look as I get up from my desk and walk out of the classroom, leaving what looked like a devastated Jared behind. I bolt once I'm clear of the classroom and head straight for my locker. Grabbing all of my stuff as quickly as I could, I bolt for the front doors and escape out into the rain.

I can't help but think that I've made a huge mistake and feel the misery that I don't think should be mine as I make my way home.

Hey everyone,

We're on a new track at the moment and I'm currently on a Wolfpack type of obsession type of thing, so I decided to do a KimXJared story.

I love these stories but at the same time, hate a fair few of them. I wanted to stick to the Kim being a Dork type of thing, but just a different type of dork.

For all my new readers, I usually do Hermione/Draco fics. Check them out if you want!

Feedback, I love feedback. I want to know what you think of my writing and my character.

Sooooo please be nice and tell me.

Criticism =improvement!

Oh yeahhhhh.....

So yeah,

Read, Review and Enjoy!

Kat