based on this cute-as-fuck post by tumblr user kameodash: "AU where Naruto and Sakura are best friends and start chatting with someone online and they fall in love with that person, not realizing it's their best friend."

Sakura had her arms crossed and her feet planted wide apart, which normally meant he should run before she knocked him silly, but her eyes were sparkling, so he stayed, though he did edge behind his half-open door just a bit.

It was a good choice. Not that he and his fragile bones had much choice when it came to his incredibly violent best friend, but whatever. She sniffed and raised a hand threateningly, but in the end she let it drop and started to giggle.

"You said you were home sick," she accused. "And I made you soup and everything, you— you dirty faker!"

Naruto shrugged and grinned at her, leaning on the doorframe to his apartment; it creaked ominously and a few flakes of ancient paint wafted to the floor. "I'm totally sick," he said cheerfully. "See? Cough, cough. I could be dying. We just don't know."

She narrowed her eyes at him, lips still twitching. "That would be a pathetic attempt at fake-sick even if I weren't a med student."

"Yeah, I know. I really needed to study, though. And, um, sleep at some point, hopefully."

Sakura's sparkle faded a little bit at that; she scanned him up and down like he might be a heartbeat away from a dramatic, stress-induced collapse or something, then shoved her way inside unceremoniously, depositing the warm thermos of what he presumed to be soup in his arms as she went. "There. Eat. Yes, it has veggies in it, no they won't kill you."

He followed her inside and said cautiously, watching her kick off her running shoes, "What veggies?"

"Good ones. Good, healthy ones that'll keep you and your horrible lifestyle from killing you dead before you're thirty." She scooped an armful of ramen containers and wadded-up essay rough drafts off his couch and plopped down, tossing her feet up on the wooden chair that doubled as a coffee table and wriggling pale green-painted toes. "So? I feel like I haven't seen you in a year. How's your dead week going?"

Naruto wilted at that and said darkly, "I'd forgotten."

"Sorry I reminded you." Sakura let her head fall back and stared up at the ceiling, chewing on her lower lip. "It'll probably be you peeling me off the floor and bringing me soup once finals are done."

"Well, you should, uh, probably expect ramen, because that's the closest thing to soup I know how to make— don't throw that! I need that book! Okay, look, we'll celebrate after." She perked up at that, one pink brow arching expectantly.

"Really?"

"Promise. I'll get the whole gang together and we'll kill some brain cells." He winked at her; she beamed.

"Okay! But I'm gonna make Ino make me those little drinks with the fancy umbrellas, and you better not make fun of me."

"I won't. Probably. But seriously, you'll do great, you always do."

She sighed gratefully, smiling. "Thanks. You always make me feel better." With that, she jammed her feet back into her shoes and disappeared in a whirl of bright hair and brighter teeth, calling back over her shoulder, "If you see Ino don't admit anything!"

Admit anything to Ino about what, he wondered, blinking at his suddenly very empty-seeming home. Those two were always catfighting about something or other, and of course that meant he had to hear Sakura bitching about it, which was always a little terrifying.

He sat back down where Sakura'd been and propped his feet on the chair-table. There was his laptop, waiting, full of half-finished essays and like thirtygigantic criminal justice articles he had to read before Friday.

He closed his eyes and prayed devoutly for sudden death. Nothing happened, so he sighed, balanced his computer on his lap, and opened the book Sakura had nearly sent flying into his skull.

Study time, except it really was the opposite of fun, and before Naruto knew it he was asleep.

He woke up to something making a hideously annoying 'ping' sound. There was a little green window open in the corner of his screen— thank fuck he hadn't knocked his stupid laptop onto the floor during that nap— but he'd no idea what 'StudentChat' was.

Or who 'CccherryBomb' was, what the heck kind of handle was that? And why did they want to know how big his—

"Spambot!" he hissed, mouse hovering over the 'x' button. Of course he would get a virus popup thingy, right during his valuable stolen study time, and he was totally, absolutely, definitely studying—

But then StudentChat pinged again.

[CccherryBomb]: No no no I'm so sorry, whoever you are! My stupid friend was on my computer doing something evil, I definitely don't go around sexually harassing random strangers, I'm sorry!

Hmm. Weird, and not very spambot-ish. Unless they were getting more cunning.

[Uzumnar]: are u a robot

A beat, then:

[CccherryBomb]: No? I mean, no.

[Uzumnar]: r u sure and why is my username so lame on this thing

[Uzumnar]: what is this thing anyway and whys it on my compter

[CccherryBomb]: If you click settings up on top you can change it, but I think they give you an automatic one. It's a university thing.

[Uzumnar]: oh weird

[Uzumnar]: hang onnnnnnnn

[THEGREATEST]: HA yes much better

[CccherryBomb]: Seriously?

[THEGREATEST]: yes seriously don't mock me stranger

[CccherryBomb]: If I wanted to mock you I'd make fun of your typing skills. Are you suuure you're in Konoha U?

[THEGREATEST] please just because i dont have capitals doesnt mean i dont know how to use them

[THEGREATEST]: and talking fancy isnt everything anyway

[CccherryBomb]: True enough I guess, haha. Well yeah so, I'm very sorry about the… dick question.

[THEGREATEST]: nah no worries

[THEGREATEST]: i'm a dude we're always happy to talk about our dicks lol

[CccherryBomb]: Gross…

[THEGREATEST]: but sadly tru. so im guesing you're a chick then

[CccherryBomb]: Yeah, so?

[CccherryBomb]: Why are we still talking?

[THEGREATEST]: y not

[THEGREATEST]: its not like i'm procrastinating anything…. lollll

[CccherryBomb]: Ha!

[CccherryBomb]: Yeah, me neither. :) Definitely not.

A smiley face. Naruto stared at it, then at his open textbook, lying forlornly next to him on the couch.

It took less than half a second of thought before he shoved it onto the floor with his foot and turned sideways on the couch, stretching out more comfortably.

[THEGREATEST]: so are you also thinkin about faking ur own death to get out of finals

[THEGREATEST]: becus i know im about there already

[CccherryBomb]: YES!

[CccherryBomb]: Yeah I pretty much have the worst headache known to mankind from studying haha. And I was up all morning cooking, which didn't help.

[THEGREATEST]: whiny arent u hehe

[THEGREATEST]: go drink coffe the cafein helps headaches

[CccherryBomb]: Really?

[CccherryBomb]: I feel like if that were true I'd already know it.

[THEGREATEST]: go try it come on

[THEGREATEST]: hwats the harm huh?

[CccherryBomb]: Fine, hang on.

[CccherryBomb]: Wait I'm out of coffee. Crud!

[THEGREATEST]: go get some duh we live by a COLLEGE

[THEGREATEST]: theres like 300 coffee shops in this town

[CccherryBomb]: Yeah, okay. Good luck studying!

[THEGREATEST]: thx u 2

And that was that, apparently, because the little green dot next to CccherryBomb's name went out. Naruto sighed miserably and stretched an arm off the couch, grabbing for his book.

It was gonna be a long, boring, brain-hurting kind of day.

[CccherryBomb]: You there?

[THEGREATEST]: hey its dick girl hehe whats up

[CccherryBomb]: If you call me that again I'll reach through your computer and punch you.

[CccherryBomb]: I'm freaking out about my Anatomy test :(

[THEGREATEST]: okay ok sorry

[THEGREATEST]: freaking out y? u seem smart or whatever

[CccherryBomb]: Thanks. I'm just worried… I keep redoing my crib sheet but what if I forget something I need? Ughhhh

[THEGREATEST]: chillllaaaaxxxxxx

[THEGREATEST]: listen just like go thru your notes one last time and then put everything away n do somethin else. force urself to leave it alone

[THEGREATEST]: after a point theres nothin u can do lol u just gotta pray

[CccherryBomb]: Maybe I should sacrifice someone to the gods too haha!

[THEGREATEST]: at this point i think ppl would just join u lmao

[CccherryBomb]: I can start a riot in the middle of campus!

[THEGREATEST]: yooooooo i'm so there

[THEGREATEST]: ill bring pizza for all the rioters

[THEGREATEST]: well no i wont bcuz im broke but yano. ill be there to help… riot?

[CccherryBomb]: Haha that's super helpful, thanks.

[CccherryBomb]: I think I'm more of a peaceful protest kinda girl anyway.

[THEGREATEST]: …says the chick who just straight up threatened to hit me

[CccherryBomb]: Okay good point. I guess I have a temper haha.

[THEGREATEST]: why lol

[CccherryBomb]: What do you mean, why? I just do.

[THEGREATEST]: well i mean

[THEGREATEST]: what kind of shit makes u mad? what sets you off?

[THEGREATEST]: I gotta know i don't wanna get knocked out haha

[CccherryBomb]: Lol

[CccherryBomb]: Umm… stupid people, I guess. Mean people? Mean, stupid people and people who hurt my friends.

[CccherryBomb]: So you're probably safe considering I have no idea who you are. :)

[THEGREATEST]: plus computers that let u punch ppl havent been invented yet so

[THEGREATEST]: im safe either way :D

[THEGREATEST]: oh man can u imagine if we had 3d computesr though!

[CccherryBomb]: People would just use them for porn haha!

[THEGREATEST]: ohhhhh i seeeee so thats the first thing your dirty mind jumps to

[CccherryBomb]: I didn't mean I would use it like that!

[THEGREATEST]: u gonna wear out your ! key haha

[CccherryBomb]: Shut up or I'll blow off finals to INVENT a computer I can punch you from!

[THEGREATEST]: see? if ur smart enough to do that ur def smart enough to pass your anatomy final

[THEGREATEST]: don't stress

[CccherryBomb]: Yeah, okay. :) Good point haha. Thanks, I feel weirdly better.

[THEGREATEST]: np lol

[THEGREATEST]: so whatcha up to now ur not studying or panickin

[THEGREATEST]: …hello?

[CccherryBomb]: Sorry! I just really need to keep studying, I can't just STOP, that's crazy!

[THEGREATEST]: ur crazy

[THEGREATEST]: but go on lol have fun breaking ur brain just dont make it permanent

[CccherryBomb]: I will!

9:34 PM: [CccherryBomb] has disconnected.

2:12 AM: [CccherryBomb] is online.

[CccherryBomb]: Hello? Anyone home?

[THEGREATEST]: well NOW I AM

[CccherryBomb]: What do you mean, now.

[THEGREATEST]: I MEAN iwas sleeping on my couch and your stupid ping noise woke me up

[THEGREATEST]: did u invent that pnuching computer yet bcuz i suddenlyhave a use for it

[CccherryBomb]: Oh my god

[CccherryBomb]: I'm really sorry, I saw the little dot said you were on :(

[THEGREATEST]: its fine im up now

[THEGREATEST]: …at TWO AM what is WRONG WITH U

[THEGREATEST]: wait wait ru bootycalling me? bcuz thats the only reasong to talk 2 some1 at two amm

[CccherryBomb]: Your typing really suffers when you're tired, huh.

[THEGREATEST]: SHUT UP

[CccherryBomb]: And no I'm not bootycalling you! For all I know you're ugly. Or a jerk.

[THEGREATEST]: i think u know i'm not a jerk or u wouldnt be messaging me at TWO AM

[CccherryBomb]: I SAID SORRY YOU SHOULD CLOSE YOUR COMPUTER SO IT CANT BEEP IF YOU WANT TO SLEEP

[THEGREATEST]: ooohhhh so theres the temper i see it now :P

[CccherryBomb]: Ass.

[CccherryBomb]: I was just bored and I can't sleep because I've studied too much. My brain's too full for sleep.

[CccherryBomb]: & all my real life friends are probably sleeping so…

[THEGREATEST]: hmmmm

[THEGREATEST]: sounds like a problem

[THEGREATEST]: r u a nightowl?

[CccherryBomb]: Kind of. I guess

[CccherryBomb]: I like nighttime.

[THEGREATEST]: ur not scared of ghosts n shit?

[CccherryBomb]: No?

[THEGREATEST]: most chicks are

[CccherryBomb]: That's sexist!

[CccherryBomb]: And I'm definitely not. My one friend says I'm fearless haha :)

[THEGREATEST]: fearless is good

[THEGREATEST]: n ya sorry

[CccherryBomb]: Wait sorry why?

[THEGREATEST]: for being sexist?

[CccherryBomb]: OH okay!

[THEGREATEST]: lol pay attention jeez

[CccherryBomb]: Jerk!

[THEGREATEST]: heyyy u woke me up from my beauty sleep b nice

[CccherryBomb]: Beauty sleep huh?

[CccherryBomb]: So are you saying you desperately NEED some beauty or something?

[THEGREATEST]: no way i'm so hot i cant even go out in the winter bcuz the snow melts

[THEGREATEST]: …oh my god plz forget i ever said that

[CccherryBomb]: HA

[THEGREATEST]: and is that ur sneaky way of asking what i look like

[CccherryBomb]: No!

[THEGREATEST]: ur not very sneaky im sry to say lol

[CccherryBomb]: Whatever… so what are you doing?

[THEGREATEST]: well i WAS sleeping since its TWO AM

[CccherryBomb]: I said sorry! I really am!

[THEGREATEST]: but now im thinking im starving

[CccherryBomb]: Ohhhh me too :(

[THEGREATEST]: go make food then

[CccherryBomb]: All I've got in the house is bread and ramen :( My roommate forgot to get groceries AGAIN.

[THEGREATEST]: RAMEN go make RAMEN!

[CccherryBomb]: Are you kidding? at 2 am? But I guess it's all Ive got… I'm just gonna beg my roommate to do it haha

[THEGREATEST]: heyyyyy you forgot a capitlization there haha

[CccherryBomb]: ….shut up

[THEGREATEST]: aww look at you RELAXING

[THEGREATEST]: listen im gonna go eat ok? later

[CccherryBomb]: bye!

[THEGREATEST]: bye lol

2:59 AM: [THEGREATEST] has disconnected.

3:01 AM: [CcherryBomb] has disconnected.

Sakura closed her laptop, patted her growling stomach tenderly and said out loud, "He's funny."

"What'd you say?" Ino screamed from the kitchen.

"Nothing! Hurry up with that ramen!"

"It's not my fault I forgot to go shopping! If you hadn't been having a crisis over your stupid test that you know you're gonna pass—"

"Shut it, pig!"

Ino appeared momentarily from the kitchen to gift Sakura with a really evil glare, brandishing a spoon dangerously. "I already apologized and I'm feeding your creepy late-night cravings, and I'm not teasing you about your little internet crush, so be grateful! This is my maximum level of 'supportive friend'!" Then she vanished, leaving Sakura staring in horror at her computer.

A crush. During finals week? No way she had time for that. No way.

"Are you making toast too?" she said, sniffing the air and padding into the kitchen.

3:17 PM: [CccherryBomb] is online.

Naruto squinted at his laptop, left abandoned on the floor while he reread his notes for the ten thousandth time before he had to head out. Well, he had a few minutes; Sakura was always on time, but she never expected him to be so precise. Ten years of being friends, and she'd learned better.

[THEGREATEST]: hey

[CccherryBomb]: Hey!

[THEGREATEST]: what's up?

[CccherryBomb]: not much

[THEGREATEST]: me either. bout to meet a friend for coffee + complaining

[CccherryBomb]: haha how weird! Me too

[CccherryBomb]: I think my blood's mostly caffeine at this point

[THEGREATEST]: lol

[THEGREATEST]: when's ur first final again?

[CccherryBomb]: Anatomy, 11:30 on thursday D:

[THEGREATEST]: u got 2 whole days u'll be fine dont worry

[CccherryBomb]: Hope so haha

[CccherryBomb]: Anyway I gotta go or Ill be late, but I'll be on later probably

[THEGREATEST]: sweet

[THEGREATEST]: hasta la vista bby

[CccherryBomb]: oh my god you giant dork

[THEGREATEST]: SCUSE ME i'm the greatest it says so on my usernm and everything

[CccherryBomb]: :) :) :)

3:21 PM: [CcherryBomb] has disconnected.

"Oh my fucking god!" Was he punching the air in victory like a total loser? Probably, but oh well. Those were special smiley faces. Those were smiley faces that said, "Yes, Naruto, I— a female!— think you're hilarious and witty and devastatingly funny and if I knew what you looked like I'd be smitten." And this girl was smart, hardworking, nice, sort of crazy but in a funny way… she was easy to talk to, too, which was hard to find. He knew those sorts of smiley faces.

Not necessarily from experience, more from watching fangirls freak out over Sasuke, but whatever.

God, what if he knew her already? What if he'd sat next to her in class? Well, unlikely, considering she was taking Anatomy and thus probably a science major, but still. Maybe it was that cute redhead who always sat in the corner of the library, or the pretty blonde girl who worked in the campus coffeeshop, or—

"Get it together, Uzumaki," he ordered himself, giving his laptop a wary glance. Anyway, he didn't have time for maybe-flirting with imaginary girls right now, he had a very real female waiting on him faithfully for coffee and complaining. He snatched his jacket off the floor and ran.

Dammit, this was ridiculous. Sakura kept staring at the little green dot next to [THEGREATEST] on her screen; he was online, she was online, her first final was tomorrow morning but she just kept waiting around to see if he'd say something. Was he sleeping again?

Damn. She was acting stupid. She flexed her fingers, frowning, then grabbed her phone from under a pile of old Anatomy homework; she'd reached the point of panic where everything was terrifying and she was seriously considering either homicide or hibernation, which meant she needed her best friend.

Naruto didn't answer her text for a few minutes. When he did, he only asked her why she was still freaking out when she should be getting some rest.

'i caaaaan't,' she texted back.

'i know i know u get like this every single term for finals. listen u will BE FINE i promise :) :) u know ur the smartest girl ive ever met okay? relaaaaxx and take a break frm stdying okay?' he answered.

'fine, fine. sorry. thx for talking me down lol. good luck tomorrow! :)' she answered.

'u too sak. srsly dont worry ull be just fine we both will, we always pass somehow.'

Somehow— no, he got lucky like he did in everything, and she got by because she studied her ass off. Studying medicine was hard.

Well, whatever. She did feel a lot better. And there was the party he'd promised to plan to look forward to!

[CccherryBomb]: Hey my friends planning a party sometime next week to celebrate finals being done

[CccherryBomb]: if you maybe wanna come that might be cool

When the fuck had she started typing? When had she even grabbed her laptop?! Oh, my god, she did have a crush on this stupid invisible person who could be forty for all she knew, or gross-looking, or a total asshole.

Though he didn't seem like an asshole. Admittedly they'd only been talking for like two weeks, but he seemed nice. He was encouraging, funny, and patient with her nonsense, and even if he couldn't spell he was in college, which mean't he couldn't be totally idiotic.

Crap. "I have a crush," she whispered, wincing and digging her fingers into her hair to massage her scalp; she nearly yanked out a clump when StudentChat chimed.

[THEGREATEST]: yeah definitely i have a thing planned nxt week too hopefully theyre on different nights

[CccherryBomb]: oh? :/

[THEGREATEST]: well i mean even if theyre on the same night i guess i could stop by urs too for a while

[CccherryBomb]: That'd be really cool

[THEGREATEST]: sweet sounds like a date :)

Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, she had butterflies, the actual portentious flip-flopping Stomach Sensations of Romantic Doom right there in her tummy. Sakura swallowed.

[CccherryBomb]: You're nice, right? I'm not just imagining it?

[THEGREATEST]: ummmmmmmm

[THEGREATEST]: i mean i like to think so i try rly hard to be nice to everyone lol its important to be nice

[CccherryBomb]: really?

[THEGREATEST]: yes really only assholes aren't nice

[CccherryBomb]: Obviously haha

[THEGREATEST]: u know what i mean lol

[CccherryBomb]: ;)

[THEGREATEST]: did u just winnky face me?

Oh, god. She had indeed just winky-faced him. Sakura buried her face in her palms, squealed, drummed her heels on the floor, then managed to resume typing.

[CccherryBomb]: Yeah so?

[THEGREATEST]: so nothing

[CccherryBomb]: okay then.

[THEGREATEST]: okay

[CccherryBomb]: … you have a test tomorrow too, huh?

[THEGREATEST]: yuuuuuup

[CccherryBomb]: Well have fun and kick some ass ;) ttyl

[THEGREATEST]: WINKY FACE AGAIN

[THEGREATEST]: hello?

[THEGREATEST]: DAMMIT

10:05 PM: [CccherryBomb] has disconnected.

Sakura pulled her hands away from her computer like it was on fire. "If he doesn't show up at the party I uninstall this stupid chat thing and never talk to him again," she told herself, shivering. The last big crush she'd had had started out just like this, on Naruto's stupidly hot friend— or worst enemy, she was never sure— and it had been Naruto who force-fed her chocolate chip mint ice cream afterwards and told her how dumb boys were.

She really was lucky to have him as a friend. She grabbed her phone again and texted, 'lv u ramenbrain.'

'u too nerd' he sent back, not thirty seconds later; Sakura smiled.

5:46 PM: [CccherryBomb] is online.

[CccherryBomb]: Heyyyy

[THEGREATEST]: HEY so howd your big anatomy test go?

[THEGREATEST]: tell me everything

[CccherryBomb]: I cna't. I'm drinking though. does that explain to u how awful it was

[THEGREATEST]: that and how bad ur typings gotten lol

[CccherryBomb]: It was awful :( I nearly puked just from nerves

Just then Naruto's phone buzzed; he dug it out of his pocket to find a text from Ino, otherwise known as 'Danger' in his contacts. 'Sakura's having another breakdown over her grades & i don't feel like babysitting. U do it.'

'Fine, just stay with her for like half an hour n ill be over' he answered, grimacing. Sakura got handsy when she was drunk, which he wouldn't mind so much if not for the very painful revenge she always took when she got sober.

[THEGREATEST]: hey look gotta go help someone out in like 5 min but r u ok?

[CccherryBomb]: Yeahhhh i just really hate waiting for grades

[THEGREATEST]: dont blame u lol its literal torture! im dying too had 2 finals today. awful. i rly hate school

[CccherryBomb]: seriously

[THEGREATEST]: well at least the terms over right?

[CccherryBomb]: nooooope i have my last test tomorrow

[THEGREATEST]: okay so the terms ALMOST over. ur like half done thats something!

[CccherryBomb]: Truuuue

[THEGREATEST]: how drunk are you lol

[CccherryBomb]: Not verybut working on it haha… little lonely in my place right now. Ill study some more tomorrow before the teste.

[THEGREATEST]: HA

[THEGREATEST]: BEFORE THE WAHT

[CccherryBomb]: The TEST you perv!

[THEGREATEST]: haha that was amazing

[CccherryBomb]: shut up!

[THEGREATEST]: u got anyone with u?

[CccherryBomb]: why?

[THEGREATEST]: just makin sure ull b ok

[CccherryBomb]: oh

[CccherryBomb]: um

[CccherryBomb]: yeah my friend's comin over

[THEGREATEST]: ok cool good

[THEGREATEST]: gotta go but dont get too shitfaced k haha b safe

[THEGREATEST]: good luck tomorrow! :) u got this

6:01 PM: [THEGREATEST] has disconnected.

Sakura took a very tiny, ladylike, not at all Dr. Tsunade-ish sip— definitely not a gulp— of her daiquiri and whispered to her computer, "Holy crap, he's perfect."

Ino, sitting next to her, tapped a black fingernail on the screen and said, sounding rather impressed in spite of herself, "I can't believe it. You flat out said you were drunk and lonely and he only makes sure you're not alone? 'Drunk and lonely' is the universal college mating call."

"Okay, so what does it mean?" Sakura said desperately. "Hurry up, Naruto will be here any minute."

Ino squinted at her. "You realize he could be a total uggo, right?"

"I like his personality!" Sakura wailed in despair, sniffling.

"Oh, babe, you have it bad. It means he's probably a genuinely nice guy. Not my problem, though, I have a study group in a little bit."

"You can go now," Sakura mumbled dismally, taking another drink. "I'm just a little buzzed."

"Yeah, okay. Later. Tell Naruto if he touches the ice cream in the freezer I will murder him." With that, Ino was gone, and now Sakura really was lonely and drunk.

Thankfully Naruto showed up not twenty minutes later, rather windblown from the bike ride but otherwise a sight for sore, study-strained eyes. They fired up Ino's blender again within minutes. The ice cream was gone in two hours.

1:11 AM: [CccherryBomb] is online.

[THEGREATEST]: yo!

[CccherryBomb]: Hey :)

[THEGREATEST]: whats up

[CccherryBomb]: it's 1:11 make a wish!

[THEGREATEST]: isnt it supposed to be 11:11

[CccherryBomb]: Close enough!

[THEGREATEST]: howd u know id be up

[CccherryBomb]: we're both night owls remember? You're always up haha

[CccherryBomb]: HURRY and make your wish!

[THEGREATEST]: ummmm

[THEGREATEST]: ok done! woo!

[CccherryBomb]: What'd you wish for?

[THEGREATEST]: i'll tell u at the party tomorrow :)

[CccherryBomb]: You promise you'll stop by right?

[THEGREATEST]: Yes I promise!

[CccherryBomb]: Oh wait I still dont know what time it's at or anything

[THEGREATEST]: very unhelpful

[CccherryBomb]: shut up lol. I'll text my friend who's throwing it tomorrow morning & let you know ok?

[THEGREATEST]: ohhhh i see so i'm just supposed to wait by my computer for u haha

[CccherryBomb]: You already promised, you have to :) Later!

[THEGREATEST]: Or u could just give me your number

1:19 AM: [CccherryBomb] has disconnected.

[THEGREATEST]: fucking hell okay when you get back on ignore that last message plz im an idiot i dont want tmorrow to be awkward

[THEGREATEST]: i mean i just thought itd make things easier is all

Just then Naruto's phone went off; he groaned, shut his laptop, shoved it to the foot of his bed, and groped for his phone in the darkness. Sakura was asking what time to come over tomorrow, and she wanted to know if it was okay for a friend to stop by.

Wonderful. He'd be a third wheel to the whole party, really, because Shikamaru and that blonde pigtails girl were hooking up now, and so were Ino and Kiba, and everyone else too, or at least that was what he felt like as he stared at his phone.

'ya thats fine come over around 8 byob' he texted Sakura, and then he took a deep breath and grabbed his laptop again.

[THEGREATEST]: so i seem to have a pretty big crush on you…. thoughts on that?

There was no answering ping.

"Oh, shit, I forgot to message Greatest and tell him what time it's at— Ino, can you grab my laptop and tell him eight? Please? No, just do it already, and then tell me if you want me to buy tortillas or apples because I only have three bucks left and you put them both on the list. Okay, got it. Yes, I grabbed your orange juice, I'll be home in a bit. Later." Click.

2:07 PM: [CccherryBomb] is online.

[CccherryBomb]: HEY Party's at 8

2:07 PM: [CccherryBomb] has disconnected.

[THEGREATEST]: wait hold up where is it?

[THEGREATEST]: hello?

[THEGREATEST]: hello its gettin kinda late lol

[THEGREATEST]: and I still don't know where the party's at

[THEGREATEST]: PLEASE get online

[THEGREATEST]: ok well its now 7:22 and people are arriving for MY party so um ill check this again in a bit but please dont be pissed if i dont show up

[THEGREATEST]: i really wanted to meet u

7:36 PM: [THEGREATEST] has disconnected.

"Nothing," Sakura said blearily, staring into the depths of her rum and coke. "I'm so stupid."

Naruto, who was busy trying to peel his eyes off the strip of porcelain skin showing between Sakura's jeans and the edge of her red tube top, said dumbly, "Yeah, men are awful."

"Yeah!" Sakura clinked her glass against his. "I'm so dumb. I really liked this guy."

"Well, he's stupid as hell for standing you up." She was always pretty. It wasn't as if Naruto was blind or anything, he knew his best friend was attractive, and every few years he'd toss around the idea of planting a kiss on her to see where it took them, but then he always thought about how much it would suck to mess up their friendship and let the notion go.

Tonight, though, she was seriously making him question like everything, up to and including whether the earth really did revolve around the sun, because she looked beautiful. Hot? Whatever. She looked good. There was some kind of goopy, glossy pink sparkle on her lips that left little glittering prints on the edge of her glass, and he was pretty sure it would taste amazing.

"Gotta go check something," he said, patting Sakura quickly on the shoulder and fleeing to his bedroom.

His laptop nearly blinded him when he opened it. "Come on, come on…" Nope. It was now nearly eleven, and CccherryBomb hadn't been back online. Shit, he'd probably scared her off. She'd probably deliberately forgotten to give him the address so they never had to meet. "Fucking hell!"

"What fucking hell?" asked Sakura, coming up behind him to peer over his shoulder.

He nearly jumped out of his skin and tried to slam the laptop, but she'd already gripped it in one of her freaky-strong talons. "Holy shit," she said blankly, staring at the green StudentChat window. "Oh my god, oh shit, oh shit!"

"What?" said Naruto, confused and starting to get a little worried that she might puke on his bed like she'd done their freshman year. "What?"

She was chalk white. It made her eyes impossibly green. When she set her glass down on his bedside table, he couldn't seem to look away from the pink lip prints. "I, uh, I'm CccherryBomb."

"What?"

"It's me. That's me. And you're Greatest. Oh, my god. Uzumnar or whatever, the name you started out with— it's your first and last— holy shit!"

They stared at each other, wide eyed, then Naruto closed his laptop carefully and said, "Are you fucking with me?"

"No!" she all but shrieked, flinging up her hands. "I didn't know! I mean, now I know, but I didn't! And Ino said hesaid he had a crush on me, but he's you and you— you're my best friend!"

"Okay, okay, fuck, wow. Okay, calm down, take another drink or something." She practically chugged her drink and then looked at him wildly.

"What do we do?"

He rubbed his temples. "I, um, I don't know."

"I— oh, god. Okay, look, you go get us another round and I'll sit here and try not to lose my mind, okay, and then we can talk or whatever." She looked just a little insane, and Naruto wasn't exactly thrilled to find out he was the guy she'd been bad-mouthing all night, so he mumbled an affirmative and slithered out of the room, heading straight for the fridge, where he stood like an idiot for at least five minutes, hoping to give Sakura time to think this whole mess through.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," Kiba said, glassy-eyed, leaning on the oven and cradling a bottle of Jack Daniels. Someone had splurged to celebrate the end of fall term, that was for sure.

"I might be a ghost in a few minutes," Naruto told him dismally, pouring two extra-strong drinks and then, after hesitating for a moment, knocking on his own door before re-entering.

Sakura looked up at him from her seat in the center of his bed. She'd sat on his bed a thousand times over the years, but it was different now, and his heart was beating rapid overtime. "Alcohol," he said stupidly, edging over to hand her one of the glasses.

"Did you really have a crush on her?" she asked, taking the drink and patting the bed next to her.

He hesitated, then sat down with a dry swallow. His weight tipped her just a little towards him, and he caught a whiff of hairspray and perfume. "Yeah, but she's—"

"Forget she's me or whatever," Sakura interrupted. "Why'd you like her?"

"Um." Dangerous territory for so many reasons. "You— she was funny, and smart, and really nice. And I could tell she was passionate about school and helping people. And she just— I don't know. I could talk to her."

"I'd never connected so fast with anybody," Sakura whispered, chewing on her lip; it was a habit of hers, but now it was exponentially more distracting. "I guess now I know why."

Naruto swallowed again and watched her eyelashes sweep down and dark against her cheekbones. "Doesn't mean it wasn't true."

She looked up at that, lip still pinned between her teeth, and then she said, "You're the greatest. Kiss me?"

The lipgloss was indeed delicious.