Hey guys! ANOTHER Spuffy fic!
Haha this is a special Valentine's Day fic, and the idea was given to me by my English teacher the other day. We have to do some assignment where we write a valentine to a character or one from one character to another. Now, I was psyched to do a Spike-to-Buffy letter, BUT then she said it had to be from one of the books we have read over the school year so far. So fuck. I decided to do this for fanfiction! Total Spuff. There is a shitload of it. This is why I wrote this- for the sake of SPUFF.
Ugh enough with the long AN.
This takes place in the middle of Angel, just after Spike gets corporeal again.
I DO NOT OWN BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER… NOR DO I OWN COLORS OF LOVE OR THE LOST BOYS OR POKEMON.
~S~
Spike looked to the calendar up on the wall of his tiny apartment-like-place that he had set up shop in for the time being. February 12th was the date.
Huh, it's almost Valentine's Day. Wonder if Buffy's got someone to celebrate it with… I bloody hope so. She deserves a man in her life… She deserves someone special. Hell, I'm special. I gave my life to save the world's! Maybe… maybe I could write her a letter. A phone call to say 'Hey, I'm alive again, want to shag?' isn't the best gift ever… He thought to himself.
He sat down with a nod of decision and pulled out a piece of paper from the desk that Lindsey had kindly decided to put in his apartment. He searched everywhere around the place for a pen or pencil, and finally found one lying on the desk where he had gotten the paper.
"Bloody pencil, hiding from me…" he mumbled. He sat down at the desk and hunched over the blank sheet of paper lain on the desk.
About five minutes later, he was still in the same position as when he first started, frozen, unable to find the right words to explain his feelings.
"Bloody hell, you're a poet, William! Where are those bloody awful rhyming words when you need them?" he exclaimed harshly to himself. He looked wildly around the apartment for some kind of inspiration when his ice blue eyes landed on the television he had left on, blaring its useless noises and pictures. He still watched Passions occasionally, but since Sunnydale he kind of tried to forget most of his old life.
Except for Buffy. He could never get that bint out of his head. His slowly began to drift back into his own memory, when he remembered a book he read in about 1974, a book called Colors of Love, by J. A. Lee. In it described six different variations of love: Eros, Ludus, Storge, Pragma, Mania, and Agape. He then tried to match his feelings for Buffy under one of those categories.
Eros was a type of love that was romantic and passionate- definitely not what Buffy had thought about him when they…. The only thing was, Spike was almost sure that was the type of love that they could have had. And that hurt to think about.
Ludus was an uncommitted love of sorts. It entailed a lot of lying and game-playing. Buffy definitely only thought of him in this way, until near post-Sunnyhell.
Storge was a love that blossomed from friendship. Spike knew he never had a chance at being friends with Buffy. The only reason she came to him was to feel passion and remember what 'feeling' was. Spike new this relationship had never been a part of him and Buffy, and it never could be.
Pragma wasn't even an option. It was a relationship of mutual benefit, where sex was just seen as a way to reproduce. Since he was a vampire and thus couldn't reproduce, even if he wanted to, that type of love was never a part of their relationship.
Mania. A manic love is a possessive, obsessive love. A person in manic love would most likely stalk the objet of his or her desire. Spike knew he had been in love with Buffy manically. Buffybot was just one example of his love. He shuddered at the thought of himself when he had gone without his soul, but he quickly returned to thinking.
Agape love is a type of caring, brotherly love for a person. It was one where the person expressing the love cared more about the person of their affections rather than their own self. Spike had felt this way about Buffy, and even Dawn and most of the Scoobies, even before he went to get his soul. He knew none of them would ever return the feeling, but they grew on him. He couldn't help wanting to protect them. They were… they were like a family to him. And incredibly dysfunctional and emotional family with WAY to many problems to be considered healthy for the average Scooby gang.
Well, considering the fact that they were pretty much the only Scooby gang… they had the normal amount of problems, technically. Of course, Spike had no idea where the gang was these days, since he knew he couldn't really contact them without letting Buffy know he existed again.
He still didn't know if he was going to send the letter anonymously or use it as an excuse to let her know he was alive again. God, he wanted to let her know. So badly. So much it hurt.
But he wanted her to live her life. He didn't know if she had moved on or not… but if she had, then his letter would be for nothing…
He growled softly to himself and finally began to write. It didn't matter if the bint was with another man, he would let her know anyway. She deserved to know.
~B~
Buffy Summers was in Rome, waiting for her sister, Dawn, to come home. Dawn was at some kind of concert for a boy-band, and Buffy was waiting for her sister to get back so she could ask her about the recent string of secret-admirer flowers that had been appearing on the doorstep, addressed to Dawn Summers.
Buffy knew she needed to asses the situation and make sure her sister wasn't being stalked by anyone. Sure, Dawn was an able-bodied teenager, just having recently gotten her driver's license and thus more freedom, but Buffy was her sister. She still felt the need to make sure all was well with her only close relative.
There was a knock at the door, and Buffy opened it quickly, hoping to either catch the secret-admirer in his tracks (highly unlikely) or Dawn, hopefully just having forgotten her keys to the apartment.
No such luck. It was a mailman. From Fedex or something. He held out a small paper envelope and asked her to sign the form releasing it to Buffy Anne Summers. She complied with his request and he went on his merry, overweight way.
The address was somewhere in LA. Buffy sighed, wondering if Angel had found some new evidence that the world was about to end? She almost hoped that was the case. She was bored beyond belief in Rome. Possibly she hoped she thought could find some kind of romance here, but she had tried- and failed- to even try to strike up the old flames of passion. They seemed to have… faded away since Sunnyhell.
With Spike.
She shook herself out of her reverie and opened the package. It was a letter, addressed to her as well. She took it out and began reading. It was written in neatly, precise, almost gentle… like the person who wrote it was taking a great deal of time to think out what they had written, and carefully wrote it out so as not to cause confusion.
Dear Buffy,
I love you. I don't know if you care anymore, but I still do. I probably shouldn't have started off this letter like that. Knowing you, you've probably moved on to some useless git who can't tell a vampire from a voodoo doll. I mean, what with all the potential Slayers now being Slayers and all… anyways, I just wanted to see how you were doing. I mean, it's almost Valentine's Day, right? That's like Couple's Day or whatever.
God, Buffy. I miss you. I wish I could come see you, but Angel won't let me and I hate to admit it, but… I'm scared. I'm scared that you've moved on, you've found someone who was even better for you than I was. Hell, that could be anyone you've ever met. Even that Andrew git. Just… I wish I could see you. Now don't be getting any ideas here if you are, and if you haven't moved on I would be incredibly happy and disappointed in you. Buffy, you deserve to live your life. You can't live forever. I can… and it looks like you're not the only one who's died twice now. I'm back, Buffy. And I miss you. I remember reading something a while back; it was a book about the six different types of love.
I thought about it and I can describe my love for you. Easily. I love you like no other. I know my habits around you were usually manic, back when I was all soulless and the Big Bad and all. But then… it changed. Even before my soul, I began to love you differently. It became a kind of mix between manic and eros and agape. I would do anything for you, Buff. You know that. I showed it to you. I wish I could explain it more to you, but this paper is only so long and I would feel unmanlike if I just turned it over and write on the backside. And this is the only piece of paper in the whole bloody apartment.
The important thing is that I love you, and I hope that you have someone to be with this year on Valentine's. I wish I could be with you, but that would be selfish of me, wouldn't it? Good luck, Buffy.
With love,
There was nothing under the With Love at the bottom, but the paper was a bit shredded underneath, like something had been taped to it and torn off. Buffy looked into the yellow paper package that the letter came in, and found a small metal object inside, with some tape on it. She took the thing out of the bag. It felt like a ring in her hand. She took a good look at it, and froze when she realized what it was.
It was a ring.
A skull ring.
The exact same ring that Spike had given her when they were both under Willow's I Will It So spell. Her heart stopped as she realized what this meant, and suddenly the old flames of passions ignited in her blood again.
She quickly ran over to the desktop computer and searched the web for a ticket to Los Angeles.
By the time Dawn got home, she was busy packing my bags and making sure all her flight arrangements were set.
"Hey, Dawn!" she greeted her younger sister happily. "I'm going on a trip to Los Angeles for a few days, you should probably go stay with Xander at his place." She suggested with a wild look on her face.
"Whoa, Buffy, I haven't seen you be this… animated since Sunnydale!" Dawn exclaimed confusedly. Buffy nodded her head and kept packing at a furious pace.
"I have to get there before Valentine's…" Dawn heard Buffy muttering to herself.
"What, are you going to spend the romantic day with Angel?" Dawn mused. Buffy shot her a glare that suggested anything but.
"As if! That man might have been my first love, but I can't help but squirm when I think about spending an entire day… err, night… with him. It just would seem so broody and boring." She quickly said as she packed.
"Then why are you going? There's like, nothing else there besides- OOH! Are you going to Disneyland?" Dawn asked excitedly.
Once again, another glare from the elder and Dawn was silenced.
"I'll tell you once I get back." Buffy said with an air of finality. "My flight leaves tomorrow morning at 5:00 am. I'm going to wake up earlier than that and take you to Xander's place. You'll have to be coherent enough to tell him that I have an emergency business meeting and you can't tell him where I am." She instructed. Dawn nodded again, still confused.
Buffy let herself form a small smile. Soon, she could possibly be back where she wanted to be.
~S~
Spike jumped onto his couch lazily and flipped through TV channels, stopping long enough to see what the program was, but not long enough for him to really get interested in anything that was on.
Then, he stopped on ABC, which was playing The Lost Boys. Spike smirked to himself; those vampires truly were badass. He might have aspired to be like them, if he wasn't all ensouled and all. At that moment of the movie, Michael was watching the other vamps as they devoured a beach party, fake blood and bloodied people showing up in random flashed. It ignited the demon that lay semi-dormant in Spike, encouraging him to shake off his new set of morals and go rip out some throats. Nothing was stopping him.
But he knew it was more like the weak and pained side of him trying to convince him to go out and do those things. The stronger and moral-ed side of him squashed the demon in him down, just as Michael pitifully fell to the ground, chewing on his finger.
"Bloody git, bein' all scared of what he's a part of." Spike glowered. Suddenly, a knock at the door interrupted him from his criticism of the Michael boy.
"Odd, I wasn't expecting any visito-" he broke off what he was about to say as he realized just who was at the door. Bloody spider sense, he knew it. More like Buffy sense.
He stood up slowly and walked to the door. He could her fast-paced breathing, and he could tell she was excited for him to open the door.
He took a deep, unneeded breath, and unlocked the door. As the noise of the locks turning reached Buffy's ear, her breathing got really quiet and her pulse skyrocketed. Spike bit his lip in anticipation of the meeting he was about to endure.
"Spike why didn't you tell me you were back before today? Or, whenever you wrote that letter?" Buffy squealed as she jumped onto him as soon as he opened the door, wrapping him in a tight embrace. He slowly reached his own arms around her, making sure he truly wasn't dreaming.
"I… Angel told me…" he mumbled pitifully. He vividly remembered Michael with his oh-so-edible fingers.
"Angel is a rude man… pire… and I guess he just couldn't handle the fact that I love you too, Spike." She sighed as she leaned further into him.
Spike felt something inside him break, the very thing that had kept him so 'normal' around Angel and his friends, and he suddenly hugged Buffy back with gusto.
"I missed you, love." He whispered into her hair. "I don't think I can ever let you go again."
"Neither can I…" she sighed happily. He took her face in his hands and kissed her, softly at first, as if making sure she really was there. She responded much more passionately than he had expected, and soon he found that Buffy had missed him just as much as he missed her.
It was quite a happy reunion.
~D~
Dawn looked over at Xander, bored. "this Valentine's Day sucks." She sighed, in a typical 'teenage angst' fashion.
"Well, Buffy apparently had somewhere else to be." Xander tried to tell the younger Summers girl. "At least you aren't on some stuffy old business trip like her." He smiled genuinely.
"Xander, don't be stupid. Did you see the look on her face? She's probably having a hot date with Mr. Tall Dark and Broodsome." Dawn said stiffly. "I guess that letter package thing she got in the mail had something to do with it." Dawn smirked.
"Letter? Package?" Xander asked, his curiosity piqued. "Say, Dawnie… want to go raid your apartment to find said package-letter-thing?" he said with a smile.
"You bet!" she laughed heartily. They raced off to Xander's car. Dawn, being the girl with two eyes, took the wheel and they sped off.
"Whoa. Dude, this letter is so cool!" Dawn exclaimed. "It's all like… fancy!"
"Let me see!" Xander pushed, grabbing the letter from Dawn's hand. "blah blah blah… Big Bad… bloody… huh. This letter seems a lot like-"
"Hey, there was also this ring in the package!" Dawn exclaimed, holding up a tiny skull ring.
Xander froze in terror for a full ten seconds as he processed what just happened.
"Dawn… your sister didn't go to LA to be with Angel… she went there to see…" Xander trailed off.
"Oh my god Spike!" Dawn finished for him. They both shared a faced akin to that of a Magikarp. Then, Dawn began laughing, shaking with the force of her giggles. Xander stood stock-still as he tried to imagine just how the Undead Menace came to be… again.
~B~
Buffy knew she couldn't let Spike stay in LA all alone, in the little apartment where he was unhappy and alone and bored. So she looked at him, truly looked at him, when they woke up in the morning and she pulled him closer to her.
"Spike…" she sighed happily.
"Yes, love?" she could hear the smile in his voice.
"You should come back with me to Rome. It's much better there, we have a whole Slayer trainy thing up there and I know we could use your help." She said as she looked into his deep blue eyes.
The eyes in question widened in surprise, and then crinkled in happiness. "So you're going to let them know about us, love?" he asked tentatively.
"You bet I will! I won't make the same mistake as last time. So tonight we're going back to Rome, Fang-boy!" she said happily, placing a kiss on her lover's lips.
Best Valentine's Day I've had in over a century." Spike murmured softly.
"Best Valentine's Day; ever." Buffy smiled in contentment as she realized that her flame was finally back.
~B~
Wasn't that a cute story? I think so. Kind of. Yeah.
R&R AND HAPPY ALMOST VALENTINE'S DAY!
