Hello! So this is a totally random one shot. It's for an unusual couple, I don't know HOW I came to ship these two, but it sort of just happened. It's crazy. I know most of you are probably Rydellington shippers, but I'd appreciate it if you gave this one shot a chance.
See I was talking to a friend on twitter and she kind of gave me the idea for this and I've been working on it for a while now, and finally, here it is. Hope you enjoy it.
Oh and if you've read this before, and you think you've read it, I've changed parts of it so yeah. Due to the fact that fanfiction deleted it. Like for example it's not all Brad's POV like the original.
Name: Heart Made Up On you.
Summary: He loved her. She didn't know the way he felt about her, nor did she feel the same way. But, things change as time passes, will he get the girl he loves in the end?
Rating: T.
Disclaimer: I do not own Heart Made Up On You by R5, all rights go to R5 and hollywood records.
Dedicated to Sophie for giving me this idea :D
Got my heart made up on you
Oooh, oooh, oooh
Listening to their new single, well sort of scares me because how realistic it is, of the feelings I have right now. They don't know, more importantly, she doesn't even know how I feel. How could they, it's not like I told her, and made it so obvious the whole world could tell. Ever since that concert in March, when we preformed counting stars with them, things were never the same again. Oh god, that hug. It was literary the best thing ever, I felt like I was on cloud 9. It ended far too quickly, but it's better than nothing, right?
Right.
You said what you said
When words are knives it's hard not to forget
But something in my head wouldn't reset
Can't give up on us yet.
No, whoa
"Rydel Lynch and Ellington Ratliff make it official" Well there we go, as much as I didn't want it to be real, it turns out 'Rydellington' was real, and it fucking sucks. It feels like, like I've been backstabbed. But it's weird, because I might love her, but we weren't together so why does it feel like that? He couldn't of known about my feelings towards her, he's not psychic. She doesn't know either, and she obviously doesn't feel the same way or she wouldn't have said yes. You know, it's been 6 months since they made it official, and I just can't forget about it, them.
There is a small part –well huge part of me- that thought that they'd not work out, not have a long lasting relationship. But 6 months? That's not long or short, it's just there. I know all this sounds rude, and well, like I didn't want her to be happy. But I do want her to be happy; I just wish it wasn't with another guy. But as long as she's happy, I'm happy.
But I'm not giving up, not just yet.
Your love was so real
It pulled me in just like a magnetic field
I'd let you go but something's taking the wheel
Yeah, it's taking the wheel
Oh, whoa
Every time she smiles I fall in love with her all over again, it feels so real, but in reality it isn't. She doesn't know what she does to me and it feels like she does, and she does what she does on purpose. Her smile, her voice, her dancing… all of it and it drives me completely insane.
Every time I try to move on, I can't. It's like an invisible force field that pulls me back to her, tells me I'll never move on. I mean, I can't really. It's hard to get over the person you fell in love with. But she's with someone else now, and I've got to move on. But that's easier said than done. I mean them two happening, it was bound to happen at some point, as much as I wanted to ignore that fact, deep down I knew it was eventually going to happen.
I just wish I got the guts to ask her out, like he did.
My mind says, no you're no good for me
You're no good but my heart's made up on you
I've got to give this up; it's been a year, today, since they got together. A whole year! Most people, especially famous people, don't have a lasting relationship for that long, but yet again, his ex.. they were together for 5 years so he knows what it's like to have a long lasting relationship… and this time they tour together so Rydel isn't left at home like Kelly was.
My body can't take what you give to me
What you give, got my heart made up on you
Got my heart made up on you
They're in the same band; they tour together for crying out loud, they've known each other for 7 years. There isn't an ocean stopping them from seeing each other every day… splitting them up… like there is between me and her.
Got my heart made up on you
It gives me both physical and emotional pain to be this far from her, and we're not even together. I don't understand why, but it does. Maybe it's also part because she's happy with Ellington as well? I don't know. I wish I could be with her. I really do, but she's happy with him. I'm here in England while she's over there in America. Long distance relationships rarely work out. We barely talk, only a few times in a month. How would a relationship last like that? Well I guess we would put more effort into communicating with each other, but there's still the case of the time zone difference. It's not like I can go over there or vice versa whenever we want to.
But it's never going to happen so what's the actual point. She's in a relationship with someone and I'm stuck in the friend zone.
I should be making a break
Up all night thinking, I'm planning my escape
So now we're back in America, touring for a while. It's been a month… Rydel and Ellington broke up a month ago. I don't know why, but they did. One minute they were happy and the next minute they've broken up. The mystery of the break up is between them too. No one else knows why… well I'm sure their families know. I know this sounds bad, but I'm happy they broke up… but I don't think I should make a move on her. Not yet anyway. I mean I want too. So much, but the time isn't right. It's been too soon since the break-up.
That and I'm afraid of being the rebound. I know she's not like that, but it still could be a possibility.
But this insomnia ain't going away
And now I'm back at your place
Oh, no
I don't know what lead me here in the first place, let alone why I'm here. I don't have to be. Maybe I should go?
"Brad?" A soft voice asked as I turned around to leave. But there's no harm in staying, right? I turned around to face her and smiled.
"Hey." I simply said and she fake smiled. You could tell it was a fake smile, the pain behind it.
"What are you doing here?" She then asked, letting me in as she did.
"Well I came to see how you are… I heard about the break up." I told her, lying slightly. I mean, I was wondering how she was, but the break up? I wasn't really bothered about it. I know that sounds mean but it's the truth. I'm annoyed that he broke her heart, she didn't deserve that.
"Yeah… it hurts a lot. I can't believe he did that. He was my first boyfriend, Brad. It hurts a lot. The first love and the first break up. I thought we were going to last, but obviously not. It just sucks, so much." Rydel explained and I looked at her confused.
"What do you mean, 'I can't believe he did that'?" I asked her and she looked at me equally confused.
"You said you heard about the break up?" She said, like a question.
"Yes, I did. But I don't know what caused it." I answered and she widened her eyes slightly.
"Well I said too much, forget I said that." She replied and looked at me.
"Rydel… you know you can tell me. I promise not to tell anyone." I said and she looked back at me and sighed.
"Alright. I trust you with this…" She trailed off and sighed once again. "He cheated on me, with Ross." She then added and then it was my turn for my eyes to widen.
"He what?!" I exclaimed, shocked that he did that. No wonder she was so heart broken.
"Yeah, he did that. Didn't even know he was capable of it… But he was." She replied, sadly.
"Wow. It's always the ones you least expect it to be." I said, unconsciously. To which she nodded her head too.
"That I can agree with." She replied.
"Anyway, let's just forget about that for now. Let's just have some fun. Neither of us have band things to do, so let's spend the day together!" I exclaimed, trying to cheer her up.
"Like a date? I'm not..." She managed to say.
"No! Just a day, us hanging out, as friends." I interrupted her. What a lie. I wish it was a date but if she's not ready, than I can respect that. I mean it's been just over a month since the break-up, and he did cheat on her. "It'll be fun." I smiled and she did slightly too.
"Well okay then." She agreed.
That's what we did… have… fun.
My mind says, no you're no good for me
You're no good but my heart's made up on you
The next day I woke up in a unfamiliar room, naked, by myself. Then it hit me, the events of the night and day before… I slept with Rydel. I can't believe I did that. I mean I said we should have fun, but this? It makes is seem I did it on purpose so that I could take advantage of her… she's never going to forgive me.
Where is Rydel anyway?
"Hey sleepy." Her voice called from the door a couple of minutes later. By this point I had only half got changed… meaning I have my underwear and trousers on.
"Hey." I replied looking at her.
"I hope you weren't going to leave without saying goodbye… I know you're not like that." She replied walking in and sitting on her bed.
"No, I would have said goodbye." I reassured her and sat down next to her.
"Good… Listen, last night was fun and good… really fun and good. But it was a one off. I mean we were drunk so we probably wouldn't have done it anyway if we were sober. But, that's it. We were drunk. It won't happen again, Brad… I still love Ellington." She told me and I sighed, nodding my head. I should have known she was going to regret it. "I mean, you agree it was just because we were drunk… right?" She then asked me.
"Of course. You still love Ellington and I respect that." I lied to her and she sighed in relief.
"Good, I think we shouldn't tell anyone about this… okay?" She then asked and I nodded in agreement.
"Yes, I uh, better go. The guys will be wondering where I got too. See you around?" I asked, picking up my shirt before standing up.
"You don't have to go…" She trailed off, looking guilty slightly.
"Rydel, I'm not leaving because of you, I'm leaving cause the guys will really wonder where I've got to because I was supposed to be at band practice half an hour ago." I explained to her and she nodded.
"Well in that case, I'll see you around." She replied and I just simply nodded before walking out. I can't believe that happened. I mean you spend one night with someone you're in love with and she still has feelings for her ex, which cheated on her. Wow.
My body can't take what you give to me
What you give, got my heart made up on you
Whoa, whoa
"Weren't they the same clothes you had on yesterday?" James asked me and I looked at him confused before shaking my head.
"No… why?" I asked back at him and Connor just shook his head.
"Are you sure? I'm almost certain they are." James stated and this time it was my turn to shake my head.
"No, these aren't the same clothes I wore yesterday, I swear." I answered again and he just gave me a look of disbelief before letting the subject drop.
"Alright, just leave it…. Let's just start practising now, now that all of us are here." Tristan said before glaring at me slightly before we started practising love-struck (1)
Got my heart made up on you
"RYDEL MARY LYNCH WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT YOU'RE PREGNANT?" I heard Riker shout causing me to sigh.
"I mean exactly that, Riker, I'm pregnant." I replied.
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" He then exclaimed pointing at Ellington as he walked into the room and I mentally face palmed.
"Well good morning to you too, would you like some tea or coffee with that threat?" He then asked sarcastically and Ross just chuckled.
"It's not a threat, it's a promise." Riker then answered.
"Care to tell me why you're going to kill me?" Ellington then asked.
"He's not going to kill you, Ell... at least I don't think he will..." Rocky then trailed off, trying to reassure him. Obviously failing.
"Jeez, that's reassuring with the word think in there. So I'm taking it that you know why the death threat is needed?" Ellington asked once again and Riker just rolled his eyes.
"Like you don't know." Riker simply said causing Ellington to look more confused then before causing Riker to sigh, but he carried on anyway. "Not only did you cheat on Rydel, you also went and got her knocked up in the process." Riker explained.
"You what? I never got Rydel pregnant at all, tell him?" Ellington then begged to me and I just sighed.
"Riker, the father of the baby already knows..." I said before getting interrupted by him.
"Yeah now he does." He then said and I just rolled my eyes.
"No, Riker. Ellington's not the father, we never did have sex together, happy now?" I asked him and Riker just looked at me confused.
"If he's not the father, who is? I mean he is the only boyfriend you've had, Dells." He then said, confused.
"It was just a stupid drunken mistake. The father was helping me because I was still heart broken and we went out for a 'day of fun' in his words and we got so drunk and one thing led to another and we had sex. Simple... but the thing is, it's not that simple because he lives in a different country and I've had to tell him by well Imessage. So the father already knows and I did say he can be involved as much or as little in the baby's life as they desire. But either way it doesn't effect me because I have you all." I explained to them all and they all stayed silent.
"Well at least we know the father isn't just some random person off the street." Rocky said, breaking the silence and trying to make a joke, but failing.
Look what you did, what you did
What you're doing to me
It's been 6 months since me and Rydel slept together. I can never get that night out of my mind. Like how am I supposed to get it out of my mind? I slept with the person I'm in love with, who still has feelings for her ex who by the way cheated on her and is now dating Ross, her brother.
Why does life have to be so complicated? It would be so much easier if I fell in love with someone else, who isn't hung up on her ex... And preferably lived in the same country as me. I can't even look at Jesse the same way because the fur reminds me of Rydel's hair. Weird I know but they're nearly the same shade of blonde. Not that I'd ever sell Jesse, I love her to pieces and I wouldn't dream of getting rid of her.
Just like Rydel... and the baby. I'm not just going to ignore the whole situation that I'm in because that would be the cowards way out.
You got me searching for the words, like a silent movie
"Come on man, you've not exactly been the same since we went to America, what's up?" Connor asked me and I sighed.
"It's nothing, seriously." I told him and he just sat down next to me.
"I don't believe that. Something happened there, didn't it?" He asked me, and I just simply nodded. "Care to tell me what it was?" He then asked and I just shook my head. "C'mon man, you know you can tell me" He then added and I sighed. There's no harm in telling one person, is there?
"Alright, here it is… I slept with Ry… someone while we were there." I simply said and he just looked at me confused.
"Was it the night before you were late to band rehearsal?" He asked me and I nodded. "Wait, you were wearing the same clothes as the day before, weren't you. It was because you slept with whomever it was… But it wasn't just someone… was it?" Connor asked.
"It's someone I've been in love with for about 3 years now…" I trailed off, hoping he would get it, I think he knows… of a fashion.
"Someone… someone… YOU SLEPT WITH RYDEL!" He yelled at me.
"SHH! Someone could hear you, and it could get out." I almost yelled back at him.
"Well, that's a good thing, why are you depressed that you slept with Rydel?" He then asked me.
"Well, we were drunk and she thinks of it as a mistake… and she still has feelings for Ellington." I answered and he grimaced.
"Oh that sucks." He simply said and I nodded in agreement.
"But I can't seem to get that night out of my mind… But I know for a certain that she would have forgotten about it. I mean to her it was a mistake, and she probably hasn't even given it a second thought." I explained to him, and he nodded.
"Did you not tell her how you feel?" He then asked me. What is this, 100 questions?
"I couldn't Connor! She obviously does not feel the same about me, so I couldn't tell her. I could of, and I probably should have, but after she said she still has feelings for Ellington… I couldn't. I really couldn't." I exclaimed and he sighed.
"I can now see why you're acting like you're acting…" He trailed off.
"I don't know what to do Con… I really don't." I simply said, trying not to cry. I don't know why I have the urge to cry… I just do.
"You could… try and get over her." He suggested and I just shook my head.
"That's the thing… I can't."
"I mean I get the fact that it's going to be hard to get over someone you fell in love with, but it isn't impossible, Brad." He then told me and I just shook my head.
"No I really can't, Con." I said once again and he just looked at me confused causing me to sigh. "She's carrying my baby, which this would make her 6 months pregnant. You want to know how I know? She sent me this 5 months ago... and I still don't know what to do.." I then added before showing him the picture she sent me, which was a positive pregnancy test.
I can't breathe, I can't see, it's so out of control
But baby honestly my hands are up, I'm letting go
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go
The next time I saw Rydel was just after she given birth. I thought I might surprise her. After all, she did tell me the due date for the baby. That and I wanted to see our baby boy. She also told me the gender so I could by something for him if I wanted too. But when I walked into the room, I was not expecting Rydel to be crying her eyes out.
"Rydel?" I asked, carefully. I mean, her emotions are going to be everywhere, she has just given birth after all.
"Brad! I'm so sorry!" She said once she saw me and I just looked at her confused.
"What are you sorry for, you have nothing to be sorry for Dels." I then said and she just looked down.
"You're not going to want to say that after this." She basically whispered.
"What do you mean?" I then asked, sitting on the edge of the hospital bed.
"I lost the baby... he was born dead. No cries, no heartbeat no nothing..." She trailed off, looking back up at me.
"And you blame yourself?" I asked her and she just nodded. "Don't blame yourself. It could happen to anyone. It's not your fault, Rydel. These things happen, you have nothing to be sorry for and you can't blame yourself. Really Rydel." I then explained to her and she just sighed.
"I can't help it, Brad! I do feel guilty of it and I can't shake it off. It's the way I feel, and you can't change that." She explained to me, before bursting into more tears. Slowly, I layed down and wrapped my arms around her.
"Shhh. It's okay Rydel. I know you feel the way you do but shh. No need for tears. It happens." I whispered softly into her ear, trying to calm her down and pulling her closer, carefully. Eventually, she fell asleep and not wanting to get up and disturb her, I layed there, holding her. 'Only for tonight' I told myself before drifting off into a deep sleep myself.
Got my heart made up on you
"Brad.." I heard someone whisper softly as they nudged me. I just rolled over and stayed asleep. "Brad!" The voice said again, slightly louder this time and nudged me more. I groaned and eventually woke up, letting my eyes wonder around the room I'm in before sitting up quickly. Where the hell am I?
That's when the memories from last night came flooding back. Our son was born dead and I fell asleep holding Rydel because I didn't want to disturb her. Best night's sleep I've had in 9 months, admittedly, but it doesn't mean it was right.
"Finally... I was bored." Rydel simply said and I looked at her. "What it's true. But you do look cute when you're sleeping." She then added, causing me to blush slightly. What? She called me cute.
"Cute?" I asked her and looked like a deer in headlights.
"Well yeah. Cute, because you did look cute when you were asleep. Curled up in the bed sheets." She, quickly, said.
"Mhmm. Okay.." I trailed off and she sighed. "Something wrong?" I asked her and she just nodded slightly.
"Yeah, and I don't know how you're going to react." She said
"Well tell me and we can see." I encouraged her and she took a deep breath and nodded.
"I love you… I'm in love with you. Whichever, both is true and real Brad… I do, so much and I realised this last month after constantly thinking about the night we spent together…" She trailed off, looking at me.
"You can't do this…" I trailed off and she looked at me confused. "I've loved you, been in love with you, for about 3 years… it hurt me so much that morning after when you said you still had feelings for Ellington and now you're here saying you're in love with me? I was trying to move on because I thought you would have completely forgotten about that night… I couldn't Rydel. I really couldn't. I tried so much but everything reminded me of that night. I thought you saw it as a mistake, Rydel. It made me a little depressed… Connor noticed something wasn't right since that night, well done for him, I wasn't suicidal depressed, but I was something either way…" I added, trailing off once again.
"I had no idea... I'm so sorry Brad. For everything. I understand if you've moved on, but I just had to say how I-" She started before I kissed her to shut her up. I love her but I didn't want to hear her voice at that moment in time. She took a few seconds to register what was happening there, but she kissed back none the less. After several seconds I pulled away from the kiss and rested my forehead on hers.
"Does it look like I moved on?" I then asked her and she smiled, with a slight giggle.
"No." She simply said still smiling.
"Good." I simply said before leaning in to capture her lips with my own once again.
My mind says, no you're no good for me
You're no good but my heart's made up on you
It took me 3 years to finally get the girl and another 2 years to get to this point now. After those moments in the hospital room, I did decided to finally 'man up' as Con would say and asked her out. Thankfully I didn't make a fool out of myself and she did say yes... eventually. Between family members, doctors and band members, meaning mine, came into the room every time the subject was brought up, she couldn't answer the question. But waiting a couple of hours made no difference to me, I mean it did, but I waited 3 years before that, so really. 2 hours isn't as long. I got the answer in the end.
To be honest, something similar happened when I proposed too her...
My body can't take what you give to me
What you give, got my heart made up on you
Whoa, whoa
"Well, our love story… Well that's the thing, where exactly does it start?" I questioned, shrugging slightly. "Well, here's where it started for me. That day when The Vamps spent the day with R5 that time in London, 5 years ago. Well maybe before that, but that's when I realised I was in love with her. Then she got together with Ellington several months later, and that lasted a year and a half. But, I was a love-struck puppy. Then when we, we being me and the rest of the band went back to America for a mini tour, we had a show in LA, so I paid her a visit. Don't worry, it was a day off, so I wasn't skipping band stuff to hang out with Rydel. But, that night well we got pretty drunk and we slept together. But that night we conceived a son, which unfortunately died when he was born. I don't regret a thing, sleeping together brought us closer in it's own strange way, even if we were on opposite sides of the world. But what really brought us together was the unfortunate loss of our first son. Anyway, back to the morning after, I think Rydel regretted it, slightly. She still had feelings for Ellington, but who cares about that part. I mean minus the part I was kind of depressed. I mean, I thought she thought that night was a mistake. But, 1 month later, I received a Imessage text with a photo of a pregnancy test reading pregnant with the caption of 'it's yours'. She kept me updated about the baby, sent me ultra-sound photos when she had one, and it was like I was experiencing it with her, in person and not by technology. It felt as real as it could be. But I didn't see her again until just after she gave birth to him, and that's when she told me the devastating news. That he did when he was born. We were both upset, but she was more upset. That upset I halt her in my arms until she fell asleep. But even then I couldn't leave her... I didn't want to disturb her sleep so I fell asleep, holding her, too. Then came the morning after. It was the best sleep I had in 9 months, admittedly. She woke me up, saying she was 'bored'. But just after then she confessed her feelings towards me and mine came out and hearing Connor say this in my head, I 'maned up' and asked her out..
Got my heart made up on you
My mind says no
"..And that's when we got together, sure, her hormones were everywhere, but we both realised we wanted to be together. So we got together. Then about a year later, I popped the question and now we're here, at our wedding. Most people bashed on our relationship, I mean long distance relationships rarely work, and well that was the main comment. There was a few more like, 'noooo she belongs with Ellington' and 'He stole her, she was dating Ellington and now she's dating Brad?! That's probably why Rydellington broke up' and thousands more. But, none of that matters, I loved her, and I still do, mind you, but the hate was worth it. I mean who cares about people's opinions about our relationship. They can hate all they want, but that's not going to change the fact that we're together and in love. I had my heart made up on her since the beginning and I will do until the end. I love you, Rydel." I said for my speech and everyone applauded while she mouthed the words, 'I love you too' before I kissed her forehead softly.
See, if you fight for something you really want, in the end you'll get it. In my case it was a girl that I was hopelessly in love with.
Let this be a lesson for you, never give up, even when you feel like there is nothing you can do, don't give up. The fighting is worth it.
Got my heart made up on you
Up on you, up on you
Let me know what you thought of it :D
1) I do not own Lovestruck by The Vamps -but go and listen to it if you haven't done so yet, it's fucking amazing. I strongly suggest listening to it. :D Or re-read this whilst listening to it. Whatever you want to do, but just listen to it.
Oh and I'm gonna do a Q&A video, the link is on my profile a long with every video I've made for my fanfictions on here
I'm out! oxo