Hello, and welcome to my first FMA fic! So wonderful... Anyway, as the title suggests, this takes place some time after Hughes dies. I wrote this to liven my friend's moods after that episode, and now I'm posting it here!

Warning: Taking this seriously will do great damage to your common sense.

Lieutenant Colonel Roy Mustang sits at his desk, his serious expression as stone-like as ever. Suddenly, the metallic ring of the phone reaches his ears. He answers, "Yes?" he says in the continuing serious tone.

"...Rrrrrooooyyy...," says a ghost-like voice on the other side of the wire. This causes the colonel's eyebrow to lift a bit, "Who is this?" he asks suspiciously. This voice sounds so familiar, but I can't put my finger on who it is...

"I haaaave a seeriooous quueestiooon..."

"What is it?" he is becoming very annoyed, "I'm very busy, I don't have a lot of time for this."

"Haaave yooouuu..."

"Yes?" he says stiffly. His eye twitches ever so slightly, "Goootteeenn," the voice continues, "Hm?" Roy have most likely would strangled the caller if he had the opportunity.

"Have you gotten a wife yet?" the voice is no longer with elongated words, but regular, "You know, beautiful, nice, intelligent, does her part of the work, will willingly carry on the Mustang name? That sort of thing?" Odd, this voice sounded an awful lot like--

"HUGHES! I don't know how, and I don't know why, but even in your grave, you pester me!" Mustang explodes over the phone. Hughes busts up laughing on the other end, "BWAHAHAAA! Beware--!" --click-- Mustang slams the phone down onto the receiver, a vein popping out of his forehead.

That night, Mustang returns to his humble abode... thing. He gets ready for bed when his phone rings. He answers it, "Hello? Who is this?"

"...Heh, heh, heh... Hey," greets a rather geeky voice.

"Huh?"

"Heh, heh, heh... Is your refrigerator running?"

"Uhm... Yes?" Roy answers after a pause.

"...Well... You better go and CATCH IT!" --click-- Mustang hangs up with much less veracity than earlier, "Damn kids... wait... That voice... HUGHES! Leave me alone! Go bother your wife, or something!" once more, the phone rings. Roy practically rips it off of the receiver, "WHAT!"

"Yeah, well... AT LEAST I HAVE A WIFE!" --click-- if much more pressure were added, the colonel's head might have very well exploded.

Later that week, Mustang has been blissfully Hughes-free the whole time. Until, that is, the afternoon.

Roy sits once more at his desk, his chair turned to face the window, "Ahh... Silence...," he muses. The phone rings, "Damnit," he curses. he turns around and hesitantly picks up the phone, "...Hello?" at first, silence. But as Roy starts to hang up, heavy breathing is heard on the other line.

"...Hello...?" he says above a whisper.

"Hhhha...hhhhaaaa...," the voice breathes in Roy's ear.

"Hughes, if that's you, I swear I'll bring you back to life and kill in the most brutal fashion."

"Geez, you're so aggresive! No wonder you don't have a wife!" --click-- Mustang growls and sits back, rubbing his temple. After a few strained seconds, he faces back to the window.

The next day (Friday), the colonel sits in almost the same position as before. He turns around quickly, but sees nothing, "Huh... coulda sworn I heard the phone just now...," he drops it, and faces the window once again. This time, the phone really does ring. He answers, "What is it?" The phone rings again right in his ear, "What the hell...?" it rings more urgently, "What? WHAT?"

"Ring, ring, ring, ring, banana phone!"

"Hughes...," Mustang hisses. He hangs up and walks to the window stiffly.

"Ring, ring, ring, ring, banana phone!" Roy turns around, only to find he was all alone still, "Uh-oh..."

Some hours later, Hawkeye walks into the room, intending to ask the colonel a question, "Lt. Colonel...? Sir? Where are...?" she looks down, and sees Roy huddled in the corner, slowly rocking back and forth.

"Ring... ring, ring... ba...nana... phone...," he whispers to himself. Hawkeye slowly backs out of the room, shutting the door, never to return again...

Th3 3nd!

Hope you liked! Oh, and if you don't get the banana phone referance, go to e b a u m s w o r l d . c o m, go to animations, and click on Banana Phone. Caution: Lots of bad words!

Reviews pwitty, pwease!