I knew I was hated and that many people wished I was dead. Normal people would have killed themselves, but as for me, I still lived. Izaya once said to me that it was because I was different. However, I knew the true reason.
"What is my purpose for living?" I used to ask myself. But when I saw you passing by, the answer was obvious: It was so that I could be with you.
My beautiful little brother. My beloved Seiji. Your name was all I needed to hear to keep me going.
There I was, standing against my apartment's thin wall, listening to you next door. I was heartbroken when you told me you wanted your own house, but at least we were neighbors. I softly sighed and closing my eyes, I mumbled two words as I imagined you embracing me, "Love me."
A lover should know about the other, so was I not good enough for you? I knew everything about you! What you loved, and even what you hated! Do you wonder how much I knew about you? Every time you left your house, I would search around our future home to see what I could find.
Oh, how delightful it was to fantasize of how it would be like to hold you, to touch your lips, and to stroke your soft face. If only I could have done that. Darling, you were mine and still are.
Oh! Who was that? Who was that young girl? You had a guest, my dearest brother! What a beauty! She was beautiful. You only talked about her when you came to visit me, telling me how much you loved her pretty face. You did not care what her name was; you only cared about the beauty of her face. I wondered if she was sad that you kept forgetting her name was Mika, but either way, I did not care! She would just be killed and packed up. Just see how beautiful she would be then...
As I returned to my own room one evening, clothes stained red, I heard your door open as you screamed in horror. My dear Seiji, would you scream for me like that? As I burnt the many photos of her, I could not help but to smile out of happiness. My beloved brother, I wonder where Mika was now.
Do you see how much I loved you? You could do anything! Do what you want with me! I am all yours and only yours. And why? It's all because of my love for you.
Seiji, did you know what I wanted? I wanted you. Only you. I wanted a collection of only you just for me. Could you see how much I loved you? It pained me so much to see tears streaming down your cheeks. Why did you cry for her? Why were you crying for that girl's head? I knew you loved the beauty of it so I got it for you! So why were you crying...? What could be so wrong? I did not understand.
Call me a masochist because although it pained me, I loved to see you cry. I could not help but to wonder if you would cry for me too. As I thought, I embraced the box I had kept for a long time. Do you want to know what it was for, Seiji? It was the box you will be put inside when you were dead.
Seiji! Look behind your door! I had gotten a present for you! You loved cats, didn't you? That was great! Because every day, you would find the exact same thing at your door. You loved the beauty of heads and also loved cats, so I decided to get the best gift for you to show you how much I loved you - A cat head.
Beauty of heads... I grabbed the leftovers of the pictures of your beloved Mika that I had burnt the other day. I continued to burn them as they had not fully burnt to ash the other day. As I did so, I could not help but to wonder what it would be like if that girl had lived.
Suddenly, you knocked on my door, shoving a bouquet of flowers into my face, uttering an "I love you". It was rather cliché and made me feel like puking. But I still loved you, my dear brother.
The next thing I knew, everything was black and I could not feel anything. Immediately, I knew what happened. Was I mad that you had decided to kill me? Your one and only sister who was the only one who really loved you? No, I was not mad. Like I said before, "Do what you want with me! I am all yours and only yours. And why? It's all because of my love for you."
Seiji, I still love you. I watch over you every single day. Do you wonder why no girl ever wanted to date you since I died? Because they knew you and I were meant to be. They were smart. I love you, Seiji...
Eternally...
Forever more...
You know that I will always love you.