Old Friends, a my little pony fanfic

OLD FRIENDS

Rarity sighed as she looked over her to-do list. While she could usually put a good dent in it most nights, this last week was almost overwhelming. She'd had to cut a few corners in her social schedule to ensure meeting the deadline. It was either that or losing out on business to someone else. And if somepony takes the time to come from Fillydelphia to little Ponyville for her work, she thought to herself, then that pony knows-and deserves-the best.

'Rarity?' she heard, and turned. Sweetie Belle had arrived. 'Isn't it time for us to get going?'

'I'm sorry, dear,' Rarity answered. 'We won't be able to make it this year, I'm afraid.'

'But why? You always want a vacation this time of year, and it was even going to be in Los Establos!'

'I know, darling,' Rarity sighed. 'But I'm just overwhelmed. I've already had to cancel my arrangements.' She stared at the nearby wastebasket, and mostly succeeded in hiding her own disappointment.

'Didn't you promise that you wouldn't do something like this?' Sweetie Belle said.

'I did. I just ... I didn't plan that well,' Rarity said. 'I thought this would be over faster, but I'll have to miss the train going there. And I don't have enough room in the budget for an express chariot.'

Sweetie Belle sighed. 'I'm sorry, Rarity.'

Rarity paused and walked to her sister, gently patting her. 'It's not your fault, Sweetie Belle,' she said. 'I know ... this means more time that you can have with your friends, right?'

'I guess.'

'In fact, I might be able to let the three of you ... ' Rarity winced, but she'd already broken a promise earlier, and this was the best she could do to make up for it. 'Have one of your "Crusader" sleepovers here in the shop.'

'You mean it?'

'I do! Just ... ' She cut herself off, shook her head, and smiled. 'Just make sure you don't break anything. I'm quite sure if you three were meant to be Cutie Mark Crusader Demolitions, you'd have found your marks long before now.'

'Thanks, Rarity? When can we have it?'

'Next Sunday would be best.' That would give her a full week to complete her work, as well as getting it put in the post by Friday. She'd hoped to have something else to do on Saturday; it was the point of the trip, after all. At least she could keep it clear for herself.

'OK!'

Twilight sighed. 'No, Applejack, you can't deduct the whole house.'

'I bet you deduct yours,' Applejack answered.

Twilight giggled as she said, 'Of course not. I don't even own it, and I don't want to try explaining to the mayor what work use I have for my bedroom.' Of course, she was using the main reading area for her talk with Applejack about Equestrian tax laws.

Applejack smiled slyly. 'Depends on what kind'a library you're runnin' here, young mare. Besides, place like this, I bet it'd set ya back a pile.'

Twilight shook her head. 'Come on. I'm still in school, you know.'

'Ya are?' When Twilight nodded, Applejack asked, 'When ya graduate, then?'

Twilight trotted to a wall and brought down a framed certificate. 'I actually graduated two years before coming to Ponyville. I'm a grad student.'

Applejack scoffed. 'Shoot, no wonder you got so much free time ta read.'

'Actually, reading and research are what I have to do. I'm working towards my Doctor of Thaumatology degree.'

'"Twilight Sparkle, Th. D"? Sounds fancy,' Applejack said.

'That's "Doctor Sparkle" to you,' Twilight replied, holding her head up aloofly. The snickering from Applejack spread to her, though, and both were laughing at the image.

'Really, Applejack, I'll probably get something like this when I'm done and on my own,' Twilight said, and sighed.

A younger voice piped up from behind Applejack. 'What would ya do with two libraries?' Applebloom asked.

Twilight smiled and looked to three new arrivals. 'Oh, hi, Applebloom. As great as it is, it's not really mine, girls.'

'Whose is it, then?'

'Belongs ta the Princess,' Applejack said. 'Well, everythin' does, in a way, but the library's public government place.'

'That's right,' Twilight nodded. 'It's public property.'

'Awesome!' Scootaloo said, and all three started dashing around the library. 'Which part's mine?' 'Is this it?' 'Can I have this part? It's got those explodin' diagrams.'

'It don't work that way,' Applejack said. 'I mean ... aw, horsefeathers. Twi?'

'Hmm,' the unicorn said, then walked to Applebloom. 'Applebloom, know how your family owns your house?'

'Uh-huh!'

'And how it says "Sweet Apple Acres"?'

'That's right!'

'What your family did was they made a company. Long ago, they decided it'd be easier to have it set up under that name. It's a little complicated at times, but it also means that you and your family get to keep using it, even though you can't say a specific part's yours.'

'But my room's mine,' Applebloom pouted.

'That's right, just like I have my room here too. It's just that the whole thing really belongs to someone else. In your case, it's the Apple family. In mine, it's Princess Celestia.'

'Wow. Does everypony do that?'

'It depends,' Twilight said. 'For example, Fluttershy really lives by herself, but it's her house. She makes a lot of money caring for animals, but she still had to get somewhere to work. It's under her name, though.'

'Can't ya just build up one?'

'Sure, Applebloom. That's what Rainbow Dash did,' Applejack said. 'Took some clouds, stuck 'em together, an' got herself that fancy floatin' house she's got.'

'I knew she'd have something great like that!' Scootaloo said. The others were sure they could see stars in her eyes.

'It's not all fancy,' Twilight answered. 'Remember what it's made of. And cloud-enchanted furniture is much more expensive than normal. Besides, knowing her, part of it's just open space for her to work out in.'

'What about all that stuff we saw in Cloudsdale?' Applejack asked.

'Ooh! I know this one!' Scootaloo said. She sat on her haunches and took in a long breath before she began. 'Cloudsdale real estate prices are way too high. It's the same for any sky city, like Zephyr Hills. Land-based real estate is much cheaper, and you don't need magic furniture to live there. Even cloud estates in Ponyville are easier to get than in Cloudsdale.' When the others looked at her, she smiled to them. 'My mom keeps saying that when I ask if we can move there.'

Applebloom thought for a while. 'So we live in our farm house, an' you, Twilight, you live in a public buildin' because the Princess lets ya, right?'

'That's right.'

'Fluttershy's got that big cottage ta herself cuz 'a her work, an' Rainbow Dash built her own place. I bet that's why it don't look right.'

'Huh?' Applejack asked.

'Well, all I can see's the underside, but I think she's got some foundation problems.'

Applejack shook her head. 'Well, anyhoo, what're you three fillies doin' here? All I'm doin' is findin' out about tax laws. Come to think 'a it, didn't you say you wanted ta do some improvin' on yer hideaway?'

'Yeah,' Scootaloo said. 'I wanted to get a runway and ramp installed.'

'You were?' Sweetie Belle asked.

'That's right,' Applebloom said. 'Since you were gonna be outta town with yer sister, we were just gonna do some fixin' up.'

'She had to cancel, though. Too much work.'

'Well,' Twilight said, 'maybe we should visit her.'

'Sounds good,' Applejack said. 'I'm tired 'a thinkin' 'a numbers.'

'Allright, it's set.'

'Tarnation,' Applejack said, 'you didn't hafta go that fast!'

Regretting their decision, Applejack and Twilight had accepted a ride from Scootaloo. The two stepped out of the wagon, with Twilight leaning against Applejack to steady herself. 'Did we have to go that fast?' Twilight asked.

'Sorry, guys,' Scootaloo said. 'I'm not used to carrying four of you. I can't believe how slow that was! No wonder we barely cleared that log!' The two adults could almost feel their eyes bulge out, then quietly agreed to just seek safety in the boutique.

All five stepped into the shop. Once inside, the fillies yelled out 'Hi, Rarity! Bye, Rarity!' as they zipped upstairs to Sweetie Belle's room.

'I told you to leave me-' Rarity had turned, irritation on her face, but then saw Applejack and Twilight. She quickly changed to a more welcoming expression. 'Why, Twilight Sparkle! And Applejack! Welcome!'

'Hi, Rarity. We heard you weren't going on your vacation. What's up?'

Rarity let out a drawn-out sigh, tossing her mane. 'Oh, you know how it goes. So many people want to have a little piece of Rarity, and I of course cannot turn them away, of course. So here I am.'

'Sorry ta hear that, sugarcube,' Applejack said. 'Can't ya take some time off after this batch, though? Just book yer trip fer whenever yer done.'

Rarity blinked. 'I ... ' What to say? Well, it was the truth, in a way. 'I was actually hoping to take advantage of a get-together in Los Establos.'

'L. E.?' Applejack said. 'Ain't that a little western for your tastes?'

'Now now, Applejack,' Rarity gently said, 'you of all ponies should know that while not quite up to the standards of Manehattan, Los Establos culture and style has the advantage of newness. It's bold and edgy.' As both mares stared, she continued. 'Think Rainbow Dash instead of Fluttershy.'

'Oh, I see,' Applejack said. 'So you were goin' ta some convention an' now you gotta miss it?'

'That's right,' Rarity said.

Twilight blinked. She couldn't tell if something was in Rarity's eye, but she was sure there was. 'Well,' she said, 'we're always happy to help out if we can, right, AJ?'

'Sure as sugar yeah,' Applejack answered.

'Thank you, dears. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must get back to my tasks.'

'Yes?' Twilight asked.

'I think she wants us ta let her be fer now,' Applejack said.

'Oh, right.'

Twilight and Applejack found themselves near Sugarcube Corner. 'Thanks fer the offer, Twi,' Applejack said, 'but I need to get home now. Work an' all.'

'Sure,' Twilight had said, and bade her friend farewell. Then, looking between the library and the bakery, she pondered her own tasks for the day until her stomach helped decide her next destination. 'Just a little,' she said to herself. Cringing, she reached for the door handle, waiting for the inevitable pounce.

Then kept waiting. Hoping that the inevitable was actually averted, she opened the door, and let out a sigh of relief.

Inside, she saw only Lyra, apparently waiting for something. While a few tables and cushions were lying around, she'd chosen to recline. Wincing slightly, she walked over. 'Hey, Lyra.'

'Oh, hi, Twilight!' the other unicorn said, waving a hoof. 'What's up?'

'Getting a snack. And yourself?'

'Wanted some danishes for me and ... er, Bon-Bon,' she replied. 'Pinkie Pie's doing them up right now, don't know why.'

With a hop and clatter, Pinkie came out of the main kitchen, a plate of danishes rattling on the counter. 'That's easy peasy, Lyra silly! The Cakes wanna make sure I know what I'm doing, so naturally I'm getting these ready! Aren't they great?' She smiled over the counter, resting on it as she pushed the plate over.

Lyra grunted and leaned forward; back on all fours, she walked over and took the plate with her horn. 'These should be good.'

'I did them just like I'd want them!' Pinkie said. As the unicorns gasped, she giggled and said, 'I mean that I'd want them to be yummy for you. What'd you think?'

Lyra just smiled nervously and handed over her payment. 'I-I'm sure we'll love them,' she said, and hustled out.

Twilight shook her head and smiled. 'Nice one, Pinkie. I'll just have some donuts.'

'What kind? We've got fritters, jelly-filled, cream-filled, cremated, glazed, pollinated, caffeinated, dehydrated-'

'Just regular glazed, please.'

'Five dozen, then?'

'Pinkie! I just need a few.'

'Allrightie!' Pinkie hopped off, and returned with the food. 'Five bits.'

Twilight floated some cash over to Pinkie, who took it. 'So, what'cha doin'?' Pinkie then asked.

'Um, trying to eat donuts?'

'Silly filly, I already know that!' Pinkie giggled, then gasped. 'Wait, I used the wrong verb! I meant to ask what you were and will be doing!'

'Well, I will be ... um, eating?'

'And before? I saw you with Applejack but then she didn't want to come in.'

Twilight sighed as Pinkie finally got to the point. 'Yeah, we came back from Rarity's. We heard she had to cancel a vacation out to L. E..'

'What's L. E.?'

Twilight rolled her eyes. 'Los Establos. Anyway, she said she missed her chance to get out there for her conference, so she's going to just stay in town.'

'Wow, a conference? That sounds like a boring way of saying "party".' Pinkie stuck her tongue out. 'Who'd want to go to one of those?'

'It might be dull for you, but Rarity wanted to go. Besides, part of the fun's in what you call the boring stuff,' Twilight answered. 'In fact, I remember the quarterly seminars we'd have at Canterlot.' Pinkie giggled as she looked into Twilight's remiscence-sweetened eyes. 'So many books for sale, so many demonstrations and lectures, and so much magic and science ... '

'You're right, I wouldn't like that kind of party. But the most important thing about a party is that you have fun! And if you think it's fun to sit in a stuffy hall and listen to somepony talking for hours, then it's even better that you have that party with a bunch of other ponies who like that.'

Pinkie then gasped again, shocking Twilight. 'What, Pinkie Pie?' she asked. When nothing dire happened, she hazarded a quip. 'Did I just inspire you to come with me next fall?'

'Nononono,' Pinkie said, 'but I am inspired to throw a surprise party for Rarity!'

'Hmm. She might like that, yeah.'

'Oh, this'll be great! Find out when she'll be done with her work and tell me, OK?'

'You're letting work finish before you throw it?'

'Who can have fun when you're worried about deadlines?'

'Good point.'

After Twilight left, Pinkie Pie giggled. 'This'll be the best surprise yet!'

Rarity sighed as she forced herself to take a break. It wouldn't be proper for her to faint from malnutrition, anyway, and drool spilled from one's mouth might stain.

'OK,' she thought to herself. 'If you're thinking of images that disgusting, you really do need a breather.'

She wearily walked down to her modest kitchen and started gathering a quick sunflower sandwich. Just as she floated it to her mouth, she heard a loud crash from behind her home, startling her to drop the food; fortunately, at least it fell on her table and not her floor. Muttering to herself, she turned and went to her back door.

Opening it, she prepared to yell at whatever had disturbed her refuse; her best guess was a lost raccoon scrounging for castoff food or materials, although in the back of her mind she imagined Spike helping himself to souvenirs. This left her entirely surprised to find Pinkie Pie was the culprit.

'What ... what are you doing?' she asked.

'Researching!' Pinkie answered, and whipped something into her left saddlebag. 'I wanna see what you're like!'

Rarity twitched. 'I ... see?'

'Great! I'm glad you do!' Pinkie rushed over to hug the white unicorn. 'Just don't see too much!' And with that, Pinkie raced off.

Rarity twitched again, then looked at where Pinkie had been against her and saw the stains. 'Too late ... '

As she walked downstairs the next day, Twilight tried to blink away the remains of her dream. Something about bipeds like Spike, but without scales and with almost unnatural hair. She shook her head, and only by that coincidence did she avoid a flung book, which bounced off her back.

Frowning, she looked down into the main collection of the library, and found most of Pinkie, from about the shoulder back. Her head was presumably stuffed into the shelf, and she could see books being knocked out, synchronised with a steadily growing 'No' each time.

'PINKIE!' she yelled, trying to get her attention.

'Twilight? Is that you?'

'Yes, it's me. What're you looking for so early?'

'Stuff about Los Establos! But I can't find it!'

'Of course you can't,' Twilight said, 'you're in the E section.'

'Of course! Don't you have anything?'

'Los Establos starts with an L.'

Pinkie pulled her head out of the shelf. 'I thought "Los" didn't count when you alphabetised. You don't file "The Stall" under T, do you?'

Twilight blinked a few times. 'Just look over there,' she said, pointing with a hoof.

Pinkie hopped over and looked, then pulled out one particular book. Twilight looked over her shoulder, and blinked. 'What do you need the Yellow Pages for?'

'In-depth research! Oh, I'm gonna also need more stuff! And I need you to distract Rarity!'

Twilight paused as she thought, then smiled. 'If you say so. How long?'

'Until Saturday night.'

'Pinkie, it's only Thursday!'

'Pleeeeeease?'

Twilight sighed. 'I can't just kidnap her for half a week. What do you want to do that takes that long?'

'A theme party!'

'How's that?' Twilight asked.

'I'm gonna redecorate Rarity's house so she'll love it!'

Twilight chuckled and said, 'No wonder you need me to distract her. How?'

'I dunno. Oh, wait!' Pinkie rushed to a desk and grabbed a pencil. She scribbled a quick note on some scratch paper, then stuffed it into Twilight's mouth. 'Take her that note!'

Twilight could only mumble as she exited.

Rarity chuckled as she opened her door, freshly cleaned up. Twilight could see she was straining under the weight of her saddlebags, with even more on her back. 'Why, dear Twilight,' she said, 'I thought the saying was "hit the books", not "eat the scrolls".'

Twilight spat out the message. 'Pinkie asked me to give you this when I had the chance. Forcefully.'

Rarity let out a weak smile as she floated it up and straightened it out. 'I see. Oh?' She shook her head. 'I can't say this is a good sign.'

'What is it?'

'You haven't read it, Twilight?'

'No,' Twilight said. 'Just tasted.'

'Pinkie is asking to renovate my poor shop! She wants me to actually be out of there for days!'

'Really?'

'For a ... a theme party?'

Twilight looked at the note herself. Pinkie had pretty much blown the surprise, so she figured she might as well roll with it. 'She heard you couldn't go on your vacation. I think she wants to do something for you here in Ponyville.'

Rarity thought, then sighed. 'Well, as you can see I did finally complete that order, and even a little ahead of schedule.' Just not far enough, she thought to herself as she sighed. 'And I did have the time cleared out. Oh, very well. I'd already budgeted for a hotel stay, too.'

'Sounds good. Need a horn with those?'

'No, but thank you for the offer, Twilight. But could you book a room for myself and Sweetie Belle? I should be able to get a good room at the Hockiday Inn a few blocks from the spa.'

'Sure, Rarity.'

Rarity led a wedge of five ponies back to her home and business. 'I am still surprised,' she said. 'I've never had Pinkie offer a theme party like this before for me.'

Applejack nodded. 'Yeah. What kind'a theme d'you think she'll pick?'

'We shall find out,' Rarity said, and opened the door. The five could not believe what they saw.

Instead of the soft elegance the interior usually presented, or even the delicate chaos of Rarity's own workshop, the room was almost spartan. The pastel walls were covered up with ugly crude green and black splotched cloth, and the wares were gone. Not mere dust, but dirt covered the floor in many places, with paths marked out in rocks leading to the other doors. The ceiling was covered with stretches of drab green as well.

Dominating the middle of the sales floor was a similar green tent. Out of this, Pinkie Pie hopped out, and was greeted with another round of gasps as the normally pink party pony was ... covered in mud. Some of which fell on the path as she hopped over. 'Hi, guys!'

Rarity herself just stared in shock as the grimy, messy Pinkie hopped up to her. 'Well?'

'Now now, sugarcube,' Applejack said. 'We weren't expectin' this. Pinkie's tryin' fer ... um, what're you tryin' fer?'

'For a prank, it's not really that funny,' Rainbow Dash said. 'And it's pretty ugly.'

Rarity finally broke her silence and her rigor, by rushing forward to confront Pinkie. 'Did you ... '

Pinkie giggled. 'It's everything you were hoping for!' Rarity rushed past, and into the tent.

'But ... '

Pinkie smiled and pointed to the tent. 'Go on!' Rarity quickly ran off inside.

'What's going on?' Twilight asked.

Before anyone else could answer, Rarity reappeared, followed by a pegasus stallion. 'Hi,' he said, and smiled. 'Hey, Rainbow Dash, right? Wow, didn't know you knew Rarity here.'

Rainbow's jaw dropped. 'Soaren?' She then turned to Rarity. 'YOU know SOAREN?'

'Well, of course I do, Rainbow,' she answered. 'We were in the same unit years ago.'

'Unit?'

'That's right, dears. I was with the Royal Forces. We served together on a deployment. Loathesome place, too. Nothing but dust and grime and just ugliness all around.'

'Rarity, you lost me at "Royal Forces",' Applejack said. 'You're tellin' us you used to be in the military?'

'Indeed, darling. I gave some of my time and skill to our own stallions and mares defending our proud land. I even have my old helmet.' Rarity smiled as she floated a green helmet back into view.

'Yeah,' Soaren said. 'She was in maintenance while we were there. Made sure we had what we needed. Supplies, stabling, staffing, whatever.'

Fluttershy shrank back behind the others, staring at Rarity in another light. 'Did ... did you ... '

'Did I what, darling?'

Fluttershy just whimpered. Applejack still couldn't contain her shock. 'How does a fussy frilly filly like you end up servin' in the military of all places?'

'By enlisting, of course. It is something one must do, you know. And besides, after my enlistment was over, I was given enough to buy this little place.'

'They do that?' Rainbow Dash asked.

'Yeah,' Soaren said. 'It's not exactly luxury living, but it'll do, and we do try to take care of you when you're done. Hey, maybe you should look into it, Rainbow.'

Twilight rolled her eyes. 'Rainbow? In the Royal Forces?'

'What, don't think I could make the cut?'

Twilight smiled. 'Ever hear of military precision?'

'Or waking up at O-dark-hundred for training?' Soaren added.

'Or listen to a most irate drill instructor advising you of just what you can do with yourself if you don't obey? Of course, attention to detail is one of my special talents,' Rarity finished. She then turned to Pinkie Pie. 'I really must ask how you did this.'

'Aww, don't worry about it, Rarity,' Pinkie said. 'Go back and have fun!'

'Pinkie ... '

'Oh, allright, but only afterward. That way you have fun first, then listen to boring stuff. Unless you're Twilight, in which case you'd find boring stuff fun so you'd wanna do that first, and then run and party. But then that'd make partying work so you really should do that first, then have fun of working and-'

Rarity helpfully put her hoof over Pinkie's mouth. 'Allright, I'll wait.'

'Yay! Wait, I shouldn't yell that. Yay. There!'

Pinkie had herded the others out. Behind them, they could hear Rarity, Soaren, and what had to be a number of other ponies talking. 'What's that all about?' Rainbow Dash asked.

'Well, Rarity was all sad and mopey that she couldn't go to Los Establos, so I brought the party here!' Pinkie answered.

'How do ya find a bunch 'a army ponies like that?'

'Well,' Pinkie said, 'first you go through Rarity's trash to find where she tossed her things, cuz it's a big dramatic gesture and she'd do that kind of thing when giving up on her hopes. Then ya track down who's gonna be there when, an' see what was planned there. They were all planning to stay at this fancy place there and even use a conference room to hang around in! They were gonna decorate it weird, though. Anyway, since she wrote down all that information and in such beautiful writing too all I had to do was find who was also in the unit and get them on flights back here to Ponyville!'

'That's insanely expensive,' Rainbow said. 'How'd you get them here that fast?'

'I asked nicely! I never knew this, but Wonderbolts get paid a lot of money, and they also move stuff fast through the air too!'

'Wow. I was sure Rarity was gonna chew you out over turnin' her boutique into an army base, but looks like it's what the filly needed,' Applejack said. 'Still hard ta imagine her in the army. Imagine some poor cavalry pony decked out in one'a her dresses.'

'Well,' Pinkie said, 'she's like super totally great at bringing out a pony's beauty, so wouldn't she be just as great at hiding it?'

'That makes too much sense,' Twilight said. 'So, girls, what do we do?'

'Well,' Pinkie said, 'there's some free space at Sugarcube Corner ... '

'You guys go on ahead,' Rainbow said. 'There's something I still wanna figure out.'

'Does it involve Soaren?' Twilight asked.

'Um ... well, yeah.'

'Sure, we'll meet up later.'

'I still don't believe it,' Applejack said. 'Rarity an' the military go together like oil an' water.'

'She seemed so happy to see all of that, though,' Fluttershy said. 'And it did help her in the long run.'

A knock at the bakery's door brought Pinkie over to open it. 'Rarity! Pegasus in a weird suit!'

'The name's Soaren, remember?'

'Of course I do!' Pinkie hopped away, letting the two step inside.

'How was it?' Twilight asked.

'It's what I was hoping for all this time! Even the Cutie Mark Crusaders were easier to handle. And I think Scootaloo spent perhaps two or three minutes not gazing in adoration at Rainbow Dash!' Rarity smiled and dug out some money with her magic. 'And while the rest of my friends were not able to stay, Soaren was able to secure a little more time off for recreation.'

'Yeah. Think I might've lost Rainbow Dash as a recruit, though,' Soaren said.

'Why? What were you doing?'

'THIS!' The door slammed open as Rainbow Dash finally arrived, and the others gasped at what they saw. As Rarity hummed a song under her breath, Rainbow was revealed to be wearing what looked like green metal. On her head was a heavy green helmet, with a long tube on the front. And the skirts of her dress looked like some kind of conveyor belt on each side.

Rarity smiled slyly as she explained, 'It rides high on the flank a bit,' and tried to adjust her helmet.

Twilight just stared. 'Rainbow, you look like a tank.'

'You said you'd get me styled up like you were when you were overseas! When you were with Soaren!' Rainbow wailed.

'Right, darling,' Rarity said. 'And we were supporting an armoured cavalry unit.'

As the others laughed, Rainbow muttered to herself, 'At least you could've used real armour. That'd be cooler than this.'

Author's note: The genesis of this madness was 'My Little Pony: Friendship Is Witchcraft'. Its interpretation of Rarity then mixed with two scenes in my mind. One is from 'Dragonshy', where she at first grabs an army helmet (it's the one she shows off in this story); the other is from 'Look Before You Sleep', where she has to make the bed just right. Of course, I didn't imagine her doing any actual front-line fighting, but then again I figure the Equestrian military would need some help.

As far as the last bit with Rainbow Dash, blame that on art by Russel H. I almost didn't include it, but ... come on. Rainbow Tank. Who can resist?