He hadn't really noticed it until Nagisa ran out onto the roof at lunch one day. "Look! It's almost time!" He pointed excitedly at his wrist before holding it out for Makoto and Haru to see. "One more week! I can't believe it!"
They never really talked about it, the timer they each had on their wrist counting down to when they'd meet their soul mate. It was just natural, and only really spoken of when it was getting close to zero.
"I hadn't looked at it in such a long time, I almost forgot about it!" Nagisa continued chattering, and Makoto tuned him out, glancing down at his own wrist. It blinked zero, as it had done since he could remember. "Mako-chan, is yours getting close, too?"
"Ah, no it's still a while off," he replied, smiling, with his usual excuse.
"How about Haru-chan?"
The third boy remained silent, handing an empty lunch box back to Makoto.
"Oh, do you want more? Have the rest of mine," Makoto said, trying to steer the subject away from the timers. He couldn't remember Haru ever mentioning his time before, and even though he knew better than to be curious, he couldn't help it when it came to his best friend.
Nagisa sat up proudly, picking a piece of egg from Makoto's lunch box as it was being passed over. "Then it looks like I'll be the first one. I'm pretty sure it's going to be a guy—I can feel it."
A week later, they met Rei Ryuugazaki right as Nagisa was counting down his last few seconds. While Nagisa looked nothing but excited, the other boy seemed confused.
"It's you, right? It has to be you. There's no one else here." Nagisa circled around Rei, looking him up and down; taking in every inch of his soul mate.
"What has to be me?"
Nagisa giggled, and Makoto couldn't help but smile, watching the whole scene unfold. He glanced over at Haru, who appeared unamused. "Your wrist, silly. Look at your time!"
"Oh!" Rei turned red as a tomato. "I hadn't even realized…It's nice to meet you," he said, bowing, making Nagisa laugh even more.
"You don't have to do that! Are you free after school today? We should go somewhere." He followed after his soul mate like a puppy just adopted from the pound, completely forgetting about his other friends for the moment.
Makoto couldn't blame him; it was wonderful, he thought, that two people could hit it off so well right away, even if it was meant to be. He hadn't actually seen it happen before, and even with all of the stories he'd heard, Makoto couldn't have imagined how happy it made him feel to see his friend finally meet his person.
He looked at his own wrist and the zeros, and thought that maybe it would be okay if he could just see his friends be happy. His own happiness didn't have to come first. Maybe there was even someone else in the world with a broken timer he could be with. Of course, it was completely unheard of in this day and age for people to fall in love without the timer—it was unheard of for anyone's timer to be broken.
But Makoto didn't think it was impossible, and that was all he had to put his hope in.
"What is it?" Haru asked, interrupting his thoughts. "Is yours close, too?"
Makoto shook his head. "Let's go eat lunch. You need help on your English homework, too, right?"
Haru led the way, and the subject was dropped.
It was another few months until they met up with Rin. By this time, Rei had seamlessly made his way into their little group, and Makoto thought it was great that meeting his soul mate didn't mean that Nagisa had to spend any less time with his other friends. Rei was a perfect fit among them, and when Rin introduced them all to Ai, his person, he fit in just as well.
"I hadn't even realized, because I met a lot of people the first day of school, and when I did, I didn't think it would be my roommate. And he didn't say anything, either! So it took a while for us to actually get together," Rin explained while Ai sat beside him. They were holding hands, and Rei and Nagisa were holding hands, and honestly, Makoto was starting to feel worse than before.
Of course he was happy for his friends, but he wasn't sure how well he'd hold up when Haru reached zero. It was a lot easier when they were little, and none of them cared. Having a soul mate was still something "for grownups," and their timers were just how they counted during hide and seek.
Being one of the last two in their group, he wouldn't be able to hide behind his excuses forever and, unless he was able to find someone else with a broken timer soon, he'd have to find a way to deal with whatever discrimination he got because of it.
Not that his friends would do anything like that, but society could be mean.
He glanced over at Haru, halfheartedly sucking down a milkshake, and wondered if he felt similar. Just because they didn't talk about the timers, didn't mean they couldn't talk about how they felt about not meeting their soul mate yet. Really, though, Haru didn't look above his normal level of annoyance.
A sudden pain struck Makoto, and he just wanted to curl up in bed, where none of this could affect him. He got that sometimes when he looked at Haru, and he tried his best to ignore it. People weren't supposed to have feelings like that. But this one was strong.
"Ah, I have to go home. I'll see you guys tomorrow," Makoto said, standing up and grabbing his jacket. "Ai, it was nice meeting you," he smiled. "Rin is very lucky."
The younger boy blushed and leaned into Rin. "No, I'm the lucky one."
"Do you really have to leave now, Mako-chan?"
"Yeah, I have to watch the twins tonight." As soon as he said it, Makoto could feel the look from Haru. That was his oldest excuse in the book, and while the others probably hadn't caught on, Haru would ask him later what the real reason was. "I'll see you guys later."
At least Haru wasn't following him, Makoto thought. He wasn't sure he'd be able to talk without breaking down.
The whole situation was stupid. He'd be able to tell Haru. If there was anyone he should be able to tell, it was Haru. If he called, Makoto reasoned, he'd explain everything. If he called and asked. If he just called and didn't ask, he wouldn't say anything. That was a good plan.
Makoto walked in the door and was pleasantly surprised to not immediately be attacked by children. "Oh, Makoto? Are you home already?" his mom called from the kitchen.
"Yeah, we all had stuff to do. Where are the twins?"
"Your dad took them out for ice cream. Was dinner good?"
He walked into the kitchen and sat down across from his mom. "Yeah. We met up with Rin and his soul mate."
"You're timers are already counted down?" She put down her paper and stared at Makoto. "You guys can't be that old yet!"
"Yeah, Nagisa has his, too. They're both really nice guys." He must have frowned, or something, because his mom frowned right back.
"Is everything okay? You don't seem too happy."
Was it strange he hadn't even talked about this with his parents? They'd never asked about his timer, and he couldn't remember them taking any special interest in it when he was little, either. "Have you ever heard about someone's timer being zero since they were little?"
His mom thought about it for a minute, folding the paper back up and placing it to the side. "Wouldn't that just mean that whoever it was just met their soul mate when they were little?" She smiled. "Actually, now that you mention it, I think I remember Haruka-kun's mom saying something like that."
"Huh?"
"Yeah, she happened to see it while he was in the bath one day I think when you both were six or seven. She had no idea how long it had been like that, but—Makoto?"
He had gotten up and rushed to the door, stumbling as he put his shoes on. "I won't be back too late. Thanks, mom!" He'd tell her everything later, but he had more important business to take care of first.
Running past Haru's house, Makoto saw that the lights were still off. So he really hadn't followed Makoto home.
He must have been kind of miserable, then, spending time with those couples. Or maybe he wasn't. Makoto had no idea of what Haru thought about his timer being at zero.
Maybe he had accepted it better than Makoto, that he wouldn't ever find someone, or maybe…maybe he knew already, or at least had his suspicions, and was waiting for Makoto.
But that was too perfect.
Makoto got almost all the way back to the restaurant before he ran across Haru walking home.
"Are you okay?" Haru asked, after Makoto jogged up to him, like there was nothing weird about his friend taking an evening run after leaving a friendly get together an hour before.
Makoto nodded. "Yeah, er…my parents decided not to go out after all, so they didn't need me to babysit."
"Sure."
Makoto wasn't really sure how to approach the subject. Haru had asked him, so it was okay to ask, right? Especially when he was so sure. But what if his mom was wrong, and had really just seen it on some TV show. Then he'd just look like a fool.
"Are you sure you're fine?"
"Haru," he started, ignoring Haru's question—it would be explained in a minute, anyway. "The truth is…my timer is actually at zero already. It has been for a long time now." He cleared his throat, and Haru showed no sign he'd even heard. "Your is, too, right? My mom said something about it right now, and—"
"Yeah, it is. It hit zero eleven years ago," Haru said, still looking at the ground a moment before looking at Makoto. It was almost too dark to see, but Makoto could have sworn Haru was tearing up.
But that was silly.
"So do you think we could be…?" Makoto didn't even finish asking before Haru grabbed his hand.
He held their arms out in front of them. "I always thought so, but then you kept saying yours still had a lot of time. If you hadn't said that, I would have brought it up earlier," Haru smiled and lowered his eyes. "And even though you kept saying that, I thought maybe it could work anyway."
"Well you don't have to think anymore," Makoto grinned and lifted haru's chin. He met Haru's lips with his own, and he instantly understood the excitement of that timer finally hitting zero, and the rush of meeting his soul mate. Even though they'd known each other for so long, it felt like they were just meeting for the first time, and Makoto couldn't wait to know more.