I made too many Saeki icons this past weekend, and it ran a Saeki plot bunny through my mind. =P So here goes.
Title: I Will
Pairing: Saeki + Fuji
Rating: G
Summary: Saeki reflects during that brief meeting between Seigaku and Rokkaku in Chiba
Genre: Angst/Drama
WC: 1592
Disclaimer: So NOT mine.
-~-~-~-
It's you. It's really you.
I thought I'd never see you again. Then again, how could that ever be? You're so good in tennis – doubtless you'd play for whichever team you joined. Doubtless I'd at least see you at the Kantou Taikai or Nationals or something. Or, even if it took years, I'd probably see you on the professional circuit. But still. A part of me... when I realized you not only weren't in my class, but weren't at Rokkaku at all... a part of me thought it was all over... that you were out of my life forever.
Why?
Why did you have to change? We grew up together, right? So how come you wouldn't come to Rokkaku with me? It's not a bad school. I mean, c'mon, you know Oji just as well as I do – maybe better – and we both know that Rokkaku can make it to Nationals just fine. So how is Seigaku better? I'd heard you were playing for Seigaku last year. I'd heard mentions of prodigy Fuji Syuusuke, but I never saw you. I was surprised to learn that you were in Tokyo. And I was surprised, Fuji, because you never told me.
I think that's what's upsetting. Why didn't you tell me you were going to Seigaku? Did you not consider me enough of a friend to tell me you were moving to Tokyo? Was I worth that little to you? Did you order Yuuta to not say anything to me, also? Fuji... didn't our time together mean anything to you at all?
-~-
"Saeki!" you say. You seem surprised. Why? You know this area – you grew up here! You KNOW this is where Rokkaku is; you KNOW this is where I'd be.
Or did you already forget who I was?
"Fuji!" I return, trying to sound equally surprised. Well, not exactly trying – I iam/i surprised – surprised that you're here again, surprised to see you walking on this street, on which we had crossed many times as children, racing each other from Oji's playground to the convenience store to get some juice. You look older, but your smile is still the same. Your eyes are still the same. You opened them briefly – unintentional, I'm sure, as you closed them again immediately after, but it was long enough. It was definitely long enough. I isaw/i, Fuji. You can't hide that from me. I know you too well. I know that's why you keep your eyes closed – your blue eyes don't hide anything. And with the training I've been doing in kendo lately, I don't miss anything.
You're hurting, too, Fuji.
And you know it.
In that brief moment when I saw your eyes, I saw the hurt. I saw the pain. I saw. You missed me. You missed Chiba, this place by the sea where you spent your childhood. So why, Fuji, iwhy/i? Why weren't we good enough? Was it something I did? Did you hate me? Was the pain I saw caused by me? How? How can I rectify it? Fuji... I'd never do anything to hurt you intentionally, you should know that. I love you. I really, really... love... you.
-~-
You introduce us to your team, and I yours to mine. It hurts, you know. To have to introduce you again to those you once knew. I remember playing with you, and Yuuta-kun, and Davide, and Kurobane, even before preschool. At least you still remember me. I think the others have forgotten you, also, Fuji. Because you haven't even been back to visit in these past three years. Was it for the same reason as the pain I saw hidden in your eyes? Did whatever befall you prevent you from coming back to Chiba?
I loved you, did you know? I always admired your tennis. It didn't matter that I always lost to you. It didn't matter that you always showed me the same kindness you did to Yuuta. Nothing mattered, except that I knew I admired you greatly, and slowly, over the years we played together, that admiration somehow grew into love. I didn't care if you didn't, couldn't, love me back in the same way. I was happy then.. so happy, when you were still here, still with me. The world was perfect then... so very perfect.
I'd been looking forward to joining the Rokkaku tennis club with you. I thought you felt the same. But looking back, you never did join in when I was talking excitedly about the day when we'd wear the burgandy jerseys with the funny hexagon collars and weird arm holes together, did you? Yuuta did for awhile... but then he stopped too. There were so many signs – why didn't I pick up on that?
No. It wasn't my fault. I shouldn't have had to pick up on small signals like that. We were friends, weren't we? You should tell friends things like that. That you're leaving, for good. That you won't be partaking in the dreams we built together. Or did I just mean that little to you?
-~-
OK. So apparently my istupid/i captain has invited your "super rookie" and the rest of your team to our courts. But he is our captain, so I go along with it. And he didn't know you... he wasn't a part of our group back then yet, back when you were here. You haven't met him before, have you. No... you would've though, had you stayed here. But you didn't. Why? Why didn't you? You confuse me. You always have been confusing – child tennis prodigy Fuji Syuusuke, beautiful, friendly, mild-tempered... mysterious. Maybe I fell in love with that. Maybe it was in fact your closed eyes and lack of open emotions that somehow drew me to you. But I will never know now, since you're off in Tokyo. I want to know more about you, prodigy Fuji Syuusuke. My former best friend. Do you still consider me your best friend? I don't know. I want to still be able to call you mine, but I don't think it'd be returned, will it. It hurts... thinking that you might be closer to someone else now. That maybe someone else knows more about you, can read more of you, than I can.
-~-
You introduce me to your vice captain – did you know I was the Rokkaku second? Then again, you always did have a knack for knowing things like that, didn't you... it was one of your mysteries. One of the reasons why I fell completely and totally in love with you, even after you disappeared from my life.
-~-
It's funny... seeing the Seigaku team completely shocked by the fact that Oji built this playground completely by himself. It's also mildly relieving, in a way. You never told them of your past, have you? Have you not found a friend good enough to talk about your childhood with? So then... maybe I still have hope? Maybe you do still consider me your best friend? Since we do share a past. Since I do know your childhood, how you grew up, where you grew up. Since we did spend so much time together as children. But even as such a one, I don't know anything about you. I didn't even know that you would move to Tokyo. You hide everything so well, Fuji... does anyone know what's in your heart?
Your acrobatic player is good. That Kikumaru guy? He's funny. Have you gotten close to him? He's going to be your partner this time, right? You're called the Dream Pair… or so I've heard, even though he's going out with his partner, with whom he's known as the Golden Pair. Yea, I've been doing my research on Seigaku, ever since I heard your name associated with it. Fuji, has he replaced me as your best friend? Does he know who I am? Is he fit to be with you?
Wow. Your first year is good. He's very good. But so's our Kentaro, huh. I wonder what Rokkaku would've been like had you been here? Would Kentaro still be captain, and me vice captain? Would we still have lost so early at Nationals last year? Would I still be so unwilling to go to school everyday, knowing that you won't be there? Did you know that I almost didn't join the tennis club when I saw that you weren't there? Kurobane had to tell me that I needed tennis and that tennis needed me. I don't know how, but somehow, he knew I loved you. He told me if I stuck with tennis, then I was sure to see you someday. I don't know how he could know that, but he did. And it looks like he was right.
-~-
You guys leave, but we'll meet again soon enough. At Kantou. And we'll be going up against each other. Fuji... you may have beaten me that last time before you walked away from me and out of my life, but you won't beat me this time. No matter how much of a genius you may be, I know you too well for anything of yours to come as a surprise. And I've been training to beat your partner, that acrobatic Kikumaru, as well. I will not lose to you anymore. You've taken too much from me - you have even my heart. You will not take another victory. I will beat you this time. I will/ If only I could get over my love for you just as easily...
-~-~-~-
comments, critiques, errors, all welcome. ^_^
Gomen for the horrific lateness with the InuiYanagi fic! All these random plot bunnies just come up! It WILL be finished though! =P
Title: I Will
Pairing: Saeki + Fuji
Rating: G
Summary: Saeki reflects during that brief meeting between Seigaku and Rokkaku in Chiba
Genre: Angst/Drama
WC: 1592
Disclaimer: So NOT mine.
-~-~-~-
It's you. It's really you.
I thought I'd never see you again. Then again, how could that ever be? You're so good in tennis – doubtless you'd play for whichever team you joined. Doubtless I'd at least see you at the Kantou Taikai or Nationals or something. Or, even if it took years, I'd probably see you on the professional circuit. But still. A part of me... when I realized you not only weren't in my class, but weren't at Rokkaku at all... a part of me thought it was all over... that you were out of my life forever.
Why?
Why did you have to change? We grew up together, right? So how come you wouldn't come to Rokkaku with me? It's not a bad school. I mean, c'mon, you know Oji just as well as I do – maybe better – and we both know that Rokkaku can make it to Nationals just fine. So how is Seigaku better? I'd heard you were playing for Seigaku last year. I'd heard mentions of prodigy Fuji Syuusuke, but I never saw you. I was surprised to learn that you were in Tokyo. And I was surprised, Fuji, because you never told me.
I think that's what's upsetting. Why didn't you tell me you were going to Seigaku? Did you not consider me enough of a friend to tell me you were moving to Tokyo? Was I worth that little to you? Did you order Yuuta to not say anything to me, also? Fuji... didn't our time together mean anything to you at all?
-~-
"Saeki!" you say. You seem surprised. Why? You know this area – you grew up here! You KNOW this is where Rokkaku is; you KNOW this is where I'd be.
Or did you already forget who I was?
"Fuji!" I return, trying to sound equally surprised. Well, not exactly trying – I iam/i surprised – surprised that you're here again, surprised to see you walking on this street, on which we had crossed many times as children, racing each other from Oji's playground to the convenience store to get some juice. You look older, but your smile is still the same. Your eyes are still the same. You opened them briefly – unintentional, I'm sure, as you closed them again immediately after, but it was long enough. It was definitely long enough. I isaw/i, Fuji. You can't hide that from me. I know you too well. I know that's why you keep your eyes closed – your blue eyes don't hide anything. And with the training I've been doing in kendo lately, I don't miss anything.
You're hurting, too, Fuji.
And you know it.
In that brief moment when I saw your eyes, I saw the hurt. I saw the pain. I saw. You missed me. You missed Chiba, this place by the sea where you spent your childhood. So why, Fuji, iwhy/i? Why weren't we good enough? Was it something I did? Did you hate me? Was the pain I saw caused by me? How? How can I rectify it? Fuji... I'd never do anything to hurt you intentionally, you should know that. I love you. I really, really... love... you.
-~-
You introduce us to your team, and I yours to mine. It hurts, you know. To have to introduce you again to those you once knew. I remember playing with you, and Yuuta-kun, and Davide, and Kurobane, even before preschool. At least you still remember me. I think the others have forgotten you, also, Fuji. Because you haven't even been back to visit in these past three years. Was it for the same reason as the pain I saw hidden in your eyes? Did whatever befall you prevent you from coming back to Chiba?
I loved you, did you know? I always admired your tennis. It didn't matter that I always lost to you. It didn't matter that you always showed me the same kindness you did to Yuuta. Nothing mattered, except that I knew I admired you greatly, and slowly, over the years we played together, that admiration somehow grew into love. I didn't care if you didn't, couldn't, love me back in the same way. I was happy then.. so happy, when you were still here, still with me. The world was perfect then... so very perfect.
I'd been looking forward to joining the Rokkaku tennis club with you. I thought you felt the same. But looking back, you never did join in when I was talking excitedly about the day when we'd wear the burgandy jerseys with the funny hexagon collars and weird arm holes together, did you? Yuuta did for awhile... but then he stopped too. There were so many signs – why didn't I pick up on that?
No. It wasn't my fault. I shouldn't have had to pick up on small signals like that. We were friends, weren't we? You should tell friends things like that. That you're leaving, for good. That you won't be partaking in the dreams we built together. Or did I just mean that little to you?
-~-
OK. So apparently my istupid/i captain has invited your "super rookie" and the rest of your team to our courts. But he is our captain, so I go along with it. And he didn't know you... he wasn't a part of our group back then yet, back when you were here. You haven't met him before, have you. No... you would've though, had you stayed here. But you didn't. Why? Why didn't you? You confuse me. You always have been confusing – child tennis prodigy Fuji Syuusuke, beautiful, friendly, mild-tempered... mysterious. Maybe I fell in love with that. Maybe it was in fact your closed eyes and lack of open emotions that somehow drew me to you. But I will never know now, since you're off in Tokyo. I want to know more about you, prodigy Fuji Syuusuke. My former best friend. Do you still consider me your best friend? I don't know. I want to still be able to call you mine, but I don't think it'd be returned, will it. It hurts... thinking that you might be closer to someone else now. That maybe someone else knows more about you, can read more of you, than I can.
-~-
You introduce me to your vice captain – did you know I was the Rokkaku second? Then again, you always did have a knack for knowing things like that, didn't you... it was one of your mysteries. One of the reasons why I fell completely and totally in love with you, even after you disappeared from my life.
-~-
It's funny... seeing the Seigaku team completely shocked by the fact that Oji built this playground completely by himself. It's also mildly relieving, in a way. You never told them of your past, have you? Have you not found a friend good enough to talk about your childhood with? So then... maybe I still have hope? Maybe you do still consider me your best friend? Since we do share a past. Since I do know your childhood, how you grew up, where you grew up. Since we did spend so much time together as children. But even as such a one, I don't know anything about you. I didn't even know that you would move to Tokyo. You hide everything so well, Fuji... does anyone know what's in your heart?
Your acrobatic player is good. That Kikumaru guy? He's funny. Have you gotten close to him? He's going to be your partner this time, right? You're called the Dream Pair… or so I've heard, even though he's going out with his partner, with whom he's known as the Golden Pair. Yea, I've been doing my research on Seigaku, ever since I heard your name associated with it. Fuji, has he replaced me as your best friend? Does he know who I am? Is he fit to be with you?
Wow. Your first year is good. He's very good. But so's our Kentaro, huh. I wonder what Rokkaku would've been like had you been here? Would Kentaro still be captain, and me vice captain? Would we still have lost so early at Nationals last year? Would I still be so unwilling to go to school everyday, knowing that you won't be there? Did you know that I almost didn't join the tennis club when I saw that you weren't there? Kurobane had to tell me that I needed tennis and that tennis needed me. I don't know how, but somehow, he knew I loved you. He told me if I stuck with tennis, then I was sure to see you someday. I don't know how he could know that, but he did. And it looks like he was right.
-~-
You guys leave, but we'll meet again soon enough. At Kantou. And we'll be going up against each other. Fuji... you may have beaten me that last time before you walked away from me and out of my life, but you won't beat me this time. No matter how much of a genius you may be, I know you too well for anything of yours to come as a surprise. And I've been training to beat your partner, that acrobatic Kikumaru, as well. I will not lose to you anymore. You've taken too much from me - you have even my heart. You will not take another victory. I will beat you this time. I will/ If only I could get over my love for you just as easily...
-~-~-~-
comments, critiques, errors, all welcome. ^_^
Gomen for the horrific lateness with the InuiYanagi fic! All these random plot bunnies just come up! It WILL be finished though! =P