I've been out of the ff world for far too long! I've been busy readjusting to having my hubby back from Afghanistan and living in the US again, after a long absence. Still, not an excuse. I have several stories I'm working on, and this is the first time I've ever done a one shot.

Disclaimer: Not my characters. :(

This has not been beta'd, so all mistakes are mine and mine alone.

Reviews appreciated!

Colonel Jack O'Neill looked over at the small, huddled form across from him. Major Samantha Carter was curled up on the floor of the tel'tak, her pale face was covered in bruises, and she twitched and cried out in a fitful sleep. She'd called his name faintly a few times, cutting straight into his very soul. He wished he knew what had happened to her in that pit, but looking at her battered and bruised face, he was suddenly glad he didn't. He'd had a hard enough time not killing someone when they'd found her. Teal'c's gentle but firm reminder that getting Carter to safety was more important than revenge on those who'd done this to her had kept him from doing what he really wanted, which was cutting them all down. Jack knew he was right, but the anger that burned into his soul made it difficult to just turn and walk away. He'd still managed to plant a few blocks of C4 along the way as they made their way out of the long, dank halls, and found satisfaction in the sound when he set it off and heard the elaborate building above start to crumble. He didn't know how many of the bastards he'd managed to kill, if any, but for now it was enough. That wasn't to say he wouldn't be back.

Jack looked up when he heard soft footfalls coming towards them. Teal'c nodded his head. "O'Neill, we should be back to the Tok'ra planet in approximately 6 hours. How is Major Carter?"

Jack sighed and shrugged. "About the same I guess." She'd been delirious when they'd found her, and barely able to walk. Once they'd gotten her out of the building, he'd scooped her in his arms and carried her all the way to the waiting tel'tak, despite his protesting knees. He knew it would be more sensible to hand her over to Teal'c, as the larger man had suggested, but he simply couldn't let her go. He needed to hold her; to know she was real. Teal'c seemed to understand and didn't say another word about, even when Jack stumbled on the uneven ground. He's merely stayed close behind, covering their six and supporting Jack's decision in his own quiet way. When they'd brought her aboard, Daniel, who'd stayed behind, took her from Jack, and placed her gently on a pile of blankets. Jack collapsed next her, his knees aching and heart hammering as Daniel gently bathes the cuts on her face. She cried out when Daniel slipped her BDU jacket off, and promptly passed. Jack felt his anger rise with every new bruise and scratch they discovered on her body. They'd discovered a deep gash in her arm that needed to be cleaned and closed up immediately. Daniel and Teal'c had both offered to sew her arm, and Jack probably should have let them, but he couldn't. She was his 2IC, and he was responsible for her, so he'd gritted his teeth, stitch her up. He felt it every time the needle pierced her skin, and she jerked in pain. Jack was lost in the memory when he realized Teal'c was speaking again.

"Huh?"

Teal'c eyebrow quirked ever so slightly. "I said, I believe Major Carter would be more comfortable if her head was cushioned."

Jack looked around, but didn't see anything they could use aside from their lumpy packs. He moved to grab one when Teal'c stayed his hand. "Perhaps she would be more comfortable if you put her head on your lap."

Jack stared at him for a moment. Carter's head in his lap. Holding Carter. He swallowed a lump in his throat and nodded before crossing the small space to sit next to her. "Help me here, T," he said as he carefully tried to maneuver without causing her any pain. Teal'c gently helped lifted her as Jack scooted under, to rest her head and upper shoulders on his legs. She moaned, clearly in pain, and he winced. "It's okay, Carter," he said gently, "It's okay."

Teal'c stood. "I will relieve Daniel Jackson at the controls. He does not fly well, and is impatient to get back to his translations."

"Thanks, T," Jack said. "You're a good man." Teal'c inclined his head once again and walked away. Jack heard the cool metal doors slide closed behind the large man, and blew out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. He looked down at the woman he carefully cradled in his lap. Carter. Gorgeous, perfect Carter. Carter. His Carter, but not his. Sam. Sam. Just thinking her name made his chest tighten. He always tried to think of her as Carter, and rarely used her given name, but in the quiet, private moments in his mind, she was Sam. Just Sam. He longed to speak it now, and whispered it gently as he brushed the dirty, pale blond hair across her forehead. "Sam. Sam, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry it took us so long to find you. I'm sorry I allowed them to hurt you. I will never forgive myself for this."

Carter's head turned a slowly, and her eyelids fluttered open, ever so slightly. "Not…your fault, Sir," she said through parched lips.

Jack had to stop himself from jumping up. "Carter. You're awake. How do you feel?"

"Thirsty," she replied.

Jack reached to his left and grabbed a canteen. He carefully laid it to her lips and let her have small sips. "Easy," he said as she tried to gulp it. "This is my last clean uniform, and I'd rather not arrive back at the SGC covered in vomit, even if it is yours."He was relieved to see a ghost of a smile on her mouth.

"I'll do my best, Sir." She struggled to sit up, but Jack held her firm. He was afraid she'd hurt herself, and he didn't want to let her go just yet. He wanted to gather her in his lap, wrap his arms around her and hold her forever.

"I know you will, Carter. You always do." He stared into her liquid blue eyes for a long moment, then blinked, snapping his gaze to the floor. He was afraid she'd see into his very soul if he looked too long into the eyes that haunted his dreams.

They stayed there, both lost in their own thoughts, as he stroked the hair at her temples, occasionally, absentmindedly, looping a finger around her ear, causing an excited shiver to run through her body. She didn't think there was an inch of her that didn't hurt, but his simple touch made it all fade into the background. Jack stopped his movement when he felt her shiver. "Did I hurt you?"

"No. No, actually it's very relaxing. Don't stop." She said sleepily.

"Whatever you want, Carter." He went back to slowly stroking her hair. The only sound around them was the soft hum of the engines that lulled them both back into a comfortable silence. After a long moment, Sam swallowed hard, and shook her head at the water he offered.

"Thank you, Sir, for finding me." Her eyes met his again.

"Carter, I will always find you. No matter where you are, or how far I have to go, I will always find you." I love you.

Sam reached up to squeeze his hand. She was weak, but held on as tightly as she could. "I know, Sir." I love you too.

"I'm just sorry it took us so long. If we'd found you earlier…if we'd…" he trailed off as his voice began to crack. I'm so sorry. I should never have let you go with them. I should have known it was a trick. I'm so sorry.

She smiled. "The fact that you found me at all was a miracle." It's not your fault. I should never have gone off like that.

He gave her a rueful grin. "Not a miracle, Carter, stubbornness." I will never leave you behind. I will cross galaxies and fight entire armies to get you back.

She smiled weakly in return. "I've always admired your stubbornness." I would break the laws of physics to get you back.

Jack watched her for a long moment. "Get some rest Carter. Janet will be poking and prodding you before you know it." I need to hold you just a while longer.

"Will do, Sir." Don't let me go.

Jack watched her eyes closed and listened to her even breathing. He wished he could say so much more to her. To say the words he knew he couldn't. Deep down though, he was certain that she understood how he felt, just as he understood what she couldn't say. He didn't know how long this slow, torturous dance would go on, but he was willing to stick with it as long as she was. He hoped that someday, when they had finally defeated the Goa'uld, he would find the courage to tell her, out loud, how much she meant to him. He smiled sadly at her pale face, and sighed. Shifting ever so slightly, he leaned down, in the quiet, sterile cargo hold and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, letting his lips linger before whispering, "I love you, Carter. I always will. Always."

Fin

Oh, guess what?! I got to meet RDA at the Emerald City ComiCon in March 2014. He was so nice and friendly and a joy to chat with. His eyes are still divine and his smile can melt the ice caps. Sigh.