A/N: In a recent bout of boredom, I decided to edit both of the fics posted in my account. I changed a couple of things, but essentially the story is the same. Hopefully, the writing is loads better this time around. Enjoy!

WARNING! This story contains a somewhat explicit description of suicide. It may cause triggers, so please don't read it if you are prone to be triggered.

**Italics mean it's a flashback**

Eternal Love

Cold. That was all he felt. It crept into his bones and numbed him down.

"Sasuke…" he mumbled.

"What?" the raven replied, his voice strained.

"I can't feel my legs anymore…" the blond whispered, his voice barely a whisper.

"Just… Just hold on a little longer… We're almost there," he urged.

"I just wanna sleep…" he replied weakly. He forced his eyes open and stared out the window, watching the trees and scenery pass by with heavy lids.

Today was his last day, there was no denying it. He was tired and weak. His best friend, Sasuke, drove at an insane speed to the hospital, his usually stoic demeanor nowhere to be found. Why couldn't he just die in peace?

"Dobe open the fucking door!" The banging on the door was persistent, almost desperate.

"Sas…uke…." Naruto choked out. This was his third attempt at suicide in the past two years. The other two having failed because of the same reason. Sasuke Uchiha, his bastard best friend and unrequited love. Why couldn't he just let him die? Why was he so insistent in saving him? Couldn't he see his life was a living hell?

At 17, he was officially a fuck up. he couldn't even begin to explain in how many ways. His parents were dead. Everyone was. His grandparents. His brother. His uncle, godfather, you name it. His entire family was dead. He'd lived on his own in a three-bedroom apartment ever since he was 15. Everyone always said 13 was a cursed number, and he hadn't believed it until that fateful day.

At 13, he was witness to one of the most gruesome mass murders in recent history. Whose you may ask? His own family's.

Why was he still alive? Because his friends refused to let go. Because they couldn't understand there wasn't a place for him anymore. Because they couldn't tell the difference between a true smile and a fake one. Because they couldn't see his sanity was slowly deteriorating. Because they refused to see the real Naruto Namikaze-Uzumaki.

His life was perfect until fate decided to royally screw him over and take everything he loved. His family was brutally murdered, one by one dying before his eyes, and all because of him. His own uncle became his personal stalker.

Orochimaru Sannin was his grandfather's cousin on his father's side. He'd always had a bit of a shady background but he was family. When his father was born, Orochimaru developed an unhealthy obsession towards him, but his grandmother, Tsunade, came from old money and her father was enough to keep him at bay. But then Naruto was born, Granny's dad no longer around and dad too old for his taste. Minato and Kushina were proud to introduce the blond baby to the family, but when they did, Orochimaru's new obsession was born.

In his younger years, Orochimaru was kept away whenever he was around and Naruto was never left alone with him. Leery looks and awkward smiles were as far as it ever got. Until the blond was 10 that is. In one occasion, when his parents were out of town for business and Granny was buried in work at the hospital she worked at, his grandfather, Jiraiya, was responsible for picking him up from school. But instead of the perverted grandpa, Orochimaru showed up in his place. The boy never really knew much about the long-haired man, and being a naïve 10-year-old who knew he was related to the man, he went with him. Pale hands led the boy to a black SUV, and sat him on his lap the entire ride. Naruto felt uncomfortable and confused, not used to having anyone look at him nor touch him the way Orochimaru did.

Fortunately enough, he didn't remain in his clutches for long. Jiraiya eventually showed up at school and when the staff described the strange man he'd left with, he immediately knew who it was. An hour was how long he spent in Orochimaru's company. Not enough to cause damage, but enough to engrain his obsession further.

Enough to have him dedicate the next three years and a half of his life planning the demise of his entire family, only to take the blond with him.

Granny's 60th birthday was the chosen date. As usual, the entire clan gathered at the old manor, celebrating the last of the Senju's. An over the top celebration meant lots of visitors, and in the mass of people, Orochimaru's schemes were put into action. And so, the massacre began. Screams, blood, gunshots. Everything was chaos, and in the end, the only actual survivor was Naruto.

Jiraiya was the first to die. Tsunade survived but was left comatose. His parents never even made it to the hospital. And Orochimaru was never found. In the beginning it was hard, and instead of getting better it all got worse. Six months after the massacre, Tsunade was murdered in her hospital room. His custody was handed over to his old mentor and godfather, Iruka Umino. But that only painted a red target on the man's back and a year and a half after the massacre, Iruka was killed in a suspicious car accident. He was then placed under the care of Maito Gai, and old friend of his father's.

Things worked out for a while, 4 months to be exact. Then Orochimaru had come forth and kidnapped him, leaving a dead body behind. And at the tender age of 15, Naruto became a killer.

He was old enough to understand what Orochimaru wanted with him. And he was terrified. So in an effort to escape, he became tangled in a power struggle with the man, only to end up stabbing him multiple times in the chest. When the police finally found him, he was severely bruised and in shock. He sat next to Orochimaru's corpse, unmoving and irresponsive. His nightmares made it hard for him to live at any orphanage so he was moved to one of his family's apartments and left to himself. Scarred, alone and traumatized.

And so, his search for peace begun. The first time, the blond tried to overdose on the sleeping pills and antidepressants his therapist had prescribed. But that time he was found by Sasuke just as the pills were beginning to take effect. The second time, he figured drowning would work and make it seem like an accident, so he took his prescribed pills and went for a swim. It was a failed plan when his friend dug him out before he even had a chance to choke on water.

And so here he was, testing to see if the third time was the charm. With nothing else left to live for, he sat in the tub. The straw that broke the camel's back had finally come. Sasuke was unconscious, utterly wasted and with no signs of waking up any time soon. When people were in love, things tended to become more bearable. But when it was unrequited, well, everything becomes even more unbearable. And that was Naruto's case.

After a traumatizing childhood, the only thing that kept him going was love. His irrational and overwhelming love for Sasuke, to be specific. Ever since he'd been 10, Naruto knew he felt something strong for the raven, not quite sure what it was but nonetheless aware. And when he finally put a name to those feelings, he buried it under lock and key, only admitting it freely in the darkest depths of his mind.

When Sasuke finally come into his puberty at 14, Naruto's carefully constructed mask began to crack. It started with his notice of the fairer sex. The girls followed him like bees to honey, and the raven exploited the well-known fact. By 15, Sasuke was no longer innocent. Naruto simply smiled and joked, hopefully wishing his friend would cease his womanizer ways and return his feelings, but realistically, he consoled himself knowing the boy's inclinations were the reason he never batted an eyelash his way. But when at 16, Sasuke was found having sex with another boy, the largest crack appeared on the mask. Once outed, the raven made his playboy ways public. Boys and girls came and went, and Naruto watched in the distance with his ever-present smile. Denial became a friendly face, telling himself they never lasted and someday Sasuke would turn his way.

The mask slowly cracking further with every body that passed through his best friend's bed. And when the raven showed up completely trashed and incoherent at his door, rambling about falling in love, he broke. He gave the older boy a sad smile and led him towards the spare room. He put him in bed, leaving a glass of water and some pain killers beside the bed, running his fingers through raven locks and admiring the rare sight one last time. His last one.

He closed the door and locked himself in the bathroom. Sitting in the tub and fingering the small dagger in his hand. He always kept it hidden in, only bringing out when life became too much and he needed relief. Times when cutting was the only thing that makes him feel better. When physical pain was the only way to forget the emotional pain. He'd never considered going this way, but maybe this time it would finally work.

No sound left his lips as the sharp dagger danced across his wrist, leaving a mesmerizing path of crimson after every glide. He waited for that blissful sting that followed and a moan escaped his throat, his eyes closing as the pleasure hit him. The relief was instant and the urge to add another cut grew. He took the blade and pressed harder, adding another cut, watching as it continued to cut the skin open. A hiss left his lips as a sharp pain shot through his arms, causing the blade to fumble. A vein. This time not even Sasuke could save him. He was too drunk and would not wake up in time.

With his right hand, he repeated the motions on his other arm, pressing harder until he felt the same sharp pain He smiled softly and closed his eyes as he felt the blood flow faster and run down his hands, pooling around him as it continued to flow. Such a delightful sensation. Slowly, his consciousness began to drift, away from the cruel reality known as life.

His only regret would be never telling Sasuke about how he felt, Hopefully, he would understand the reasoning behind his death. After all, he'd made sure Sakura kept the letter he wrote the first time. Of course she beat the living shit out of him when she found out, but who could blame her?

As the last of his senses slipped away, he heard a faint voice scream his name. Then, he felt strong arms pick him up.

Sasuke.

"Let me die in peace bastard…" he mumbled, leaning against his chest and focusing on his heartbeat.

"Hang on… please, just hang on," he begged, placing him in the back of his car.

And that was how he'd had up here. Bleeding to death in the backseat of his best friend's car. Remembering all those happy times before it'd all turned to shit. When his family was alive. Before Sasuke broke his heart. When he could be himself around his friends. All those times when he'd truly smiled. All those times when he'd wondered if anything could be more perfect. When he had no clue of what suffering truly was. When he was loved. When happiness was present.

"Sas…ke…"

"Don't talk. We're almost at the hospital."

"I won't make it Sasuke… I know it and so do you… I'm sorry," he apologized.

"Don't say that… We'll make it… Just stay awake," he pleaded and drove faster. He'd hang on until they got to the hospital, only so he could properly tell him he loved him. He had to.

He tried to keep his eyes open but they closed as he was picked up again.

"'Ske… I need to tell you something…" he mumbled and allowed himself to bask in the warmth for one last time.

"You can tell me when you're better idiot," was his only response. "HELP ME! HE'S DYING!" he screamed, busting through the hospital doors.

"I love you. I always have and I always will," he confessed as loud as he could muster but it came out as a mere whisper.

The raven fell to his knees, holding on to the blond, "Don't leave me, please! I love you too. Please, just please don't leave me," he sobbed kissing his forehead. Blue eyes stared at him and the blond smiled weakly at him, leaning in and kissing his lips with his remaining strength.

"I will wait for you…. It doesn't matter how long… I will always wait for you… I love you," were the last words he breath out, slowly drifting into an endless sleep.

One of the nurses watched with sad eyes, silently observing the young raven haired boy who clung onto the blond boy's body with all his might, whispering sweet "I love you's" and "don't leave me's'. His desperate pleading crushing her heart with every word. The blond in his arms looked no older than 16 and he had lost his life. His partner ignored the doctor's attempts to tear the blond boy away from his embrace, painfully grieving his demise. It was all excruciating to watch, especially for someone who knew what it was to lose a loved one.

"Darling we need you to let him go," she whispered, placing a hand on the raven's shoulder.

"I can't. He's not gone… He can't be!"

"I know this is hard love, but we need to take him away. There are kids around. Please come with me, " she insisted. She helped him stand with the blond still in arms. Another one of the nurses guiding them to the nearest empty room.

The rest of the night was filled with pained sobs and silent cries. The nures informed the raven's parents and family, and less than 15 minutes later, an entire group of people rushed into the hospital. The room was full, all occupants mourning the loss of the blond boy.

A week later the nurse was part of the ER team who received a boy of 17 with deep cuts in his wrists who was slipping away fast. It was the same raven haired boy from last time.

"I love him too much," he whispered to her as the team fought to keep him alive.

"I know dear, I know…" she whispered with a mournful smile.

"Thank you," he whispered with a weak smile before dying.

She stood before their graves. Leaving a single white rose on each. Wondering yet not knowing why he'd thanked her. But what she did know was those two boys were further proof love had no boundaries. She knew what their love was like, as she'd once loved just as they had. She knew they were together in a better place, just like her beloved. She knew their love would be eternal just like hers.

- Fin -