Until I met her
My life was over before it even began. I didn't even have choice; I don't even think I was meant to exist. But there I was, born and raised behind a dark shadow of my younger brother. Shizumasa Togu, my mask. Ever since I became Shizumasa's 'shadow' I lost my name, and I've been told incessantly to forget I ever wrote that picture book. I hate Shizumasa for taking everything from me. So I wanted to hurt the things that are precious to him. That was until I met her.
I first met her in the Hanging Garden. I wanted her to get closer and closer to me so I could break her apart. Her smile, the way she looks at me, the way she calls my name with that voice. I just hate her so much, just as much as I hate Shizumasa. She kept saying she's in love with me when she doesn't even realize I'm a fake. I was going to keep on hurting her so that she'll hate Shizumasa.
She was a strange girl, acting out in all different emotions; I think that's why she caught my attention. When I think about it, her life is much worse off than mine but she always forces a smile to hide her sadness. Unlike her I was needed, I had to become Shizumasa's shadow. I had to forget I ever wrote that picture book, while she was never wanted by her father and was sold for fifty million yen. Even though she still holds those memories within her, she is still able to smile and think positive towards difficult situations.
She wasn't one of those girls who wanted to be 'Shizumasa's' Platinum for social status. I didn't notice before but when she looked at me, she looked at me like I was myself, not a Togu or Shizumasa. For the time I spend with her, I began to see how much pain she carries deep inside her heart. The more I know about her, the more I start to open up my heart to her. I didn't want to hurt her anymore.
I don't want to torment Haine. Yes, I don't want to hurt her. Haine belongs to Shizumasa. I'll hand her back to him one day – she's his Platinum. But it was then that my love started. When I first saw Haine in the Hanging Garden, she told me, 'You should fall in love with me!' She told me she loves me. Why did she have to appear in front of me? Why did you have to tell me you loved my picture book?