This Is Normal?
An Avengers Fanfiction
Summary: Thor finds out that Midgardian women are amongst the most valiant warriors, even if they never raise a weapon in their lives. One-Shot. Thor/Jane. TW: Description of biological functions.
Disclaimer for the Lawyers: I only own a copy of The Avengers. I don't even own a copy of Thor.
&%&%&%
"Ah! Lady Darcy, where is my dear Jane?" Thor asked as he entered Jane's lab at SHIELD headquarters.
"She's out sick," Darcy said.
"Jane is ill? She did not appear so yesterday," Thor said.
Darcy shrugged. "Do you need something I can help you with?"
"No. I shall visit Jane and see if I can assist her," Thor said.
"Get chocolate. Hershey's Kisses are her favorite," Darcy said.
"I did not realize sweets were a remedy on Midgard," Thor said, "But I shall do as you recommend! Thank you Lady Darcy!"
&%&%&%
Despite popular belief, Thor and Jane did not live together. On Asgard, that was only done once two were betrothed. Anything else would be dishonorable and Thor would never do such to his Jane. He did, however, have a key to Jane's apartment.
"Jane?" Thor whispered as he walked in, fearing to wake Jane if she slept.
Dr. Foster was not in the living room of her apartment. Thor knocked on Jane's bedroom door.
"Are you awake, Jane?"
"Ugh. Yes," Jane said.
Thor opened the door and found Jane in the fetal position, buried under her covers. "Dearest Jane, I have brought you gifts for your illness."
Jane glanced up. "I really don't want to see anyone, Thor."
"Oh, I shall leave soon. I have brought this vase of flowers, because I thought you might find them pleasant to look at. Lady Darcy thinks that these chocolates will help your illness. I have also brought the chicken soup much recommended by those who are ill."
"I'm not hungry," Jane said.
"I shall place it in the fridge then. Should you need anything else, you may simple call and I shall come as quickly as I can," Thor said.
Jane's face contorted in pain.
"Jane, what ails you? Should I fetch a doctor?" Thor asked, gently stroking her hair.
"No. This isn't a doctor thing. Just go," Jane said.
"But Jane, you are…"
"I said go! If you don't leave right now, I'll make you regret it!"
Thor raised his hands in a show of peace. "I shall, dearest Jane. I will put this food away and leave."
"Good… I love you a lot. I just feel awful."
"I love you as well, Jane."
&%&%&%
Thor approached Bruce later that day in Dr. Banner's lab. "Bruce, I fear for my Jane."
"What's wrong?" Dr. Banner asked.
Thor shrugged. "I am not sure. She seems to be in pain but refuses help. She yelled at me. Darcy said that this illness requires chocolate and…"
"Thor, Jane is fine. Just drop it," Bruce said.
"What?" Thor said.
"Trust me, you don't want to know," Bruce said.
"But I…"
"Just drop it."
&%&%&%
Clint laughed so hard that he was unable to answer Thor.
&%&%&%
Thor next went to Steve and explained what he and Dr. Banner had discussed. Steve nodded. "It's a lady thing, Thor. Dr. Foster probably doesn't want you to know."
"But what is so wrong that I cannot help my Jane?" Thor asked.
"It's a lady thing. I don't know all the details, but the chorus girls were very clear that it was bad," Steve said.
&%&%&%
Thor next went to Tony, as he had a great lady that was his betrothed.
"Lady thing? Dude. You don't want to know," Tony said.
"But why?" Thor asked.
"Just get her chocolate and flowers and then run away. I am so glad that Pepper's time isn't that bad. She just glares at me more," Tony said.
"That is what I did, but I feel I must do more," Thor said.
"Dude, you have accidentally done what takes men years to learn. Just move on," Tony said.
&%&%&%
Natasha warned Thor that what he was asking was a mystery of the universe that men were not meant to know. Which, of course, lead Thor to ask the one person who would know such things.
&%&%&%
"What are you doing here, Thor?" Loki asked as he wrote down an equation that took three white boards to write out.
"I fear that my Jane is ill, but no one will tell me what is the matter with her. Natasha said that it was a mystery of the universe that men were not meant to know," Thor said, "You know much and you have transformed yourself into a woman on more than one occasion."
"I did not remain long in those forms," Loki said. He capped the marker he was using. "Certainly not long enough to give birth to a foal as the Mortals say I did."
"I came to you, brother, for your wisdom and knowledge," Thor said. He put on his most pleading face. "Please?"
Loki glanced back at his brother and grimaced. "Ugh. Fine. What is the matter with Dr. Foster?"
Thor told Loki of the symptoms Jane had as well as what the others had said.
"You are not an idiot for once," Loki said.
Thor blinked. "I'm not?"
"No. This does not afflict Asgardian women. You would have found out eventually from Lady Sif if it did. I only found out by accident," Loki said. He motioned for Thor to sit and they both sat.
"What is wrong with my Jane?" Thor asked, looking like he was waiting for a dreadful diagnosis.
"Jane… is not pregnant," Loki said.
"I should hope not because it would not be me who was the father," Thor said.
"No, that is what is happening, Thor. Jane's body is telling her that she is not bearing a child," Loki said.
"But what is happening?" Thor asked.
Loki said, "A female human's womb prepares each month to carry a child. When there is no child, the body removes the preparations for that child."
"How is it removed?" Thor asked.
"Bleeding out," Loki said.
Thor thought for a moment and then said, "Oh… that sounds painful. My poor Jane. And all the women of Midgard go through this? This is normal?"
"Not the very young or the old. There are some women who do not have it at all though many of them have other problems," Loki said, "It is not always painful, but sometimes it is. Some women also have sadness or anger because of the hormones that are in production during this time. It differs from woman to woman and time to time. Some women even have to have surgery from the pains of their menstrual cycle."
Thor nodded. "What can I do for my Jane? Will this end soon?"
"In a few days," Loki said, "She is probably doing fine on her own. Women learn what to do."
Thor looked downcast. "Then why did she not wish to see me?"
Loki leaned back and thought for a moment. "Though the hormones are partially why, I would assume that you might deduce the reason from the reactions of your teammates."
Thor nodded. "It is considered shameful on Midgard."
"Indeed," Loki said.
"But why? If it is normal and a way to show that one is not bearing a child, why such secrecy? Why not just simply say to me that there is a normal biological process?"
Loki shrugged. "Midgardians are strange. They are even ashamed of speaking of childbirth."
"But that is the most valiant thing a person can do is bring a life into a world or help a person bring that life into a world!" Thor said.
"As I said, Midgardians are strange."
"Indeed… Is there anything else I should know, brother?" Thor asked.
"Not that I can think of at the moment," Loki said, "Which means no."
"Thank you, brother. It has been most helpful," Thor said, standing up.
"Good. I hope that means that I will not have you bother me during my work again," Loki said.
"I am sorry. Good day, brother."
Loki waved Thor away before going back to his equation. Thor stopped at the door.
"How did you find out about this, brother?"
"… I was bored… I was rummaging through Darcy Lewis' things and opened one of her supplies and so, for invading her privacy, she gave me very… vivid details of why she needed such and how she would put me in a thousand times more pain than what she goes through on a monthly basis," Loki said. He shivered. "Do not underestimate Darcy Lewis. She is far more devious than most suspect."
&%&%&%
That evening, Thor came to Jane's apartment with take-out from their favorite Chinese restaurant. Jane was still in her bedroom, but was sitting up.
"Good evening, Jane. I have brought sustenance," Thor said.
"I thought I told you that I didn't want you around here," Jane said.
"Yes, you did. I simply wished to see how you fared," Thor said, placing the food by her bed. He knelt beside her. "I can understand why you wish for privacy. I am sorry to intrude."
Jane's eyes became wide. "Who told you?"
"Loki."
"Loki! How does he know?" Jane asked.
"My brother can explain the intricacies of the paths between the stars and how living things are built. He knows of some of the biological functions of humans."
Jane nodded. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. I just felt gross and… I just didn't want to be around anyone until I wasn't in pain anymore."
"Are you always in this much pain?" Thor asked.
Jane shook her head. "No. I don't even get that emotional. Something this bad happens about once a year. I can barely crawl out of bed right now. I am going into work tomorrow. I can't get behind. Loki and I are testing out this mini Rainbow Bridge tomorrow."
"You are a valiant warrior, Jane," Thor said.
"Warrior?"
"Yes. A warrior goes through pain throughout their life. I know I would not fare well with such on a monthly basis. I barely handled the pain I went through the two days I was on Earth as a mortal. For almost all of Midgardian women to go through it, that is valiantly done. From what I can gather, most of you go about your business as if nothing is wrong. A warrior shakes off pain as if it is nothing and then goes on with their job. How is that not the sign of a valiant warrior?"
Jane smiled at Thor and kissed him. "You are a sweetheart, Thor. Come on, let's eat. I'm really hungry and that food is the first thing that has sounded appealing all day. Also, after you leave, could you bring this paperwork to Loki? I've been testing out my equations when I could today."
&%&%&%
The next day, Thor was watching Loki and Jane set-up the equipment for the mini Rainbow Bridge. Darcy was helping them, but looked ready to rip her notebook to shreds.
"You do not look happy, Lady Darcy," Thor said.
"I just got in big trouble with the Director. Apparently, someone dyed all his undershirts purple and I got the blame," Darcy said, "I swear I didn't do it."
"I did," Loki said.
"Why'd you blame me? You barely talk to me," Darcy said.
"Because my brother spent over half of yesterday running around headquarters wasting everyone's time with something you could have explained to him in two minutes. This was retaliation for interrupting my day," Loki said.
"You're a jerk," Darcy said.
"Excuse me. I am the king of jerks. Get it right," Loki said, smirking a little.
&%&%&%
A/N: This is a bit different then I normally write, but I really wanted to write a Jane/Thor story.