PORTERS

Act 1: Fresh Meat, Stale Circuits

1

Sal always expected to have a brutal headache if he woke up with no idea where he was or what happened the previous day. Thankfully, he was in no such pain this time. He kept his eyes closed and enjoyed the gentle floating sensation of his dream. Turning over, he realized that he couldn't feel his bed, or much other than his clothes for that matter. He opened his eyes and realized that the floating sensation was more tangible than in a half-asleep state; whitish tile was drifting by below his eyes.

"What the hell?" he mumbled, moving around and trying to wake himself up. Looking around, he saw a sterile-looking room with tiled walls, floors, and ceilings. In the center was a glass-walled cell containing what looked like a bed, toilet, and small table.

"Relax, you're okay," a female voice said. He turned towards it, and came face-to-face with the muzzle of a menacing device, its three prongs wrapped in powerful electrical arcs.

"Jesus!" Sal shouted, suddenly thrashing around, simultaneously trying to distance himself from the machine and put his feet on solid ground. The girl shrieked, the device shut off, and he came crashing to the floor. He could not gain his footing, thanks to the bizarre attachments on his calves. "Who are you? Where are we? What the fuck is going on!" He thrashed on the ground, trying to stand up. Finally successful, he was out of breath and red-faced with bewildered rage.

"I told you to relax!" the girl said. "Everything is okay, for the moment. I'm Chell, we're in an underground research lab, and as for the last question, I honestly don't know. Just a few hours ago, I was in the same position you were, except that I was in that exact cell and being talked to by a disembodied computer voice. Comparatively, you've got it good, so do me a favor and chill out."

"Sorry," Sal replied, rubbing his head where he banged it on the tile, "So, anything else you'd like to tell me? I know there's got to be a story behind why you were levitating me with your death ray there."

"It's not a death ray," she said defensively, yet turning it away from him at the same time. "In simple terms, it's a portal gun. I'll get to that later, but for right now, we've got to get out of here."

"Why, what's the problem?" Sal asked, some worry returning to his voice. "I don't see anybody here, so what's the rush? We could at least poke around for some normal clothes first."

Chell put down the portal gun and kneaded her temples. "Right before I came back to save you, I destroyed the AI construct running the test facility we're in right now. If you haven't noticed, this place is really big and really high-tech, and if you think that the bigwigs aren't going to notice that their trillion-dollar computer blew up, you've got another thing coming."

"So, what, you think they'll come for us?"

"Not exactly. The weird thing about this testing facility is that the only way in and out is through portals. They're disabled right now, so for the moment, we're safe. What I'm worried about is that they could break out the big guns, and if they do, we could be looking at a tactical nuke coming down on our heads in a short amount of time. It's not certain, but it's a chance. And any chance of being burned to ash is more than I'm willing to stomach." Chell rubbed her temples again. "I swear, if I don't die that way, it'll be by headache instead."

"How do you know all this crap anyway? You said just a few hours ago you were in the same position I am."

She winced in pain before answering him. "How do you know what your name is? It just feels like I've always known; I can't really explain it."

Sal raised his eyebrows. "Okay then, so which way is 'out of here'?"

"Well," she replied, "For me, it's through here. Stand back." She picked up the portal gun again and fired it at the wall, making a bright blue flash and odd discharge sound. A blue, swirling oval where the shot landed outlined a large room beyond, where there was previously a blank spot of whitish tile.

"Holy shit," Sal whispered, unable to do anything else. "You—you're going to walk through that?"

"Yeah," Chell replied. "Did your science teacher ever talk about wormholes? Something about super gravity fields and spacetime being bent over on itself, I imagine it's the same basic idea." She put one foot, equipped with the same heel spring but otherwise bare, through the portal.

"Wait a minute, what about me?" Sal said, gesturing with his palms turned up.

"Sorry to say this, but you've got to go through a couple of test chambers. It's the only way to grab the other portal gun and learn how to use it. Don't worry, I'll be operating the tests manually, so I can help you as much as I can. Once you've got the complete gun, I can portal you back to me."

"I hope you're right," Sal sighed, and waited as the blue portal closed behind Chell, "Guess I better get started."