This is my first West Wing fic. I just started watching the show and am currently just towards the end of the third season so I'm still a little shaky on voices and all that.
I.
How a lung can just collapse. Is it like a house collapsing? Does some load bearing wall just suddenly give way and everything topples in on itself? She imagines rubble and debris lying around in his chest and it hurts.
CJ's kneeling in front of her with her hands resting on her knees, trying to explain it. Something about the bullet lacerating something or- She isn't sure. She just hears white noise in her ears and can't really look at CJ's face without it blurring. She feels a sort of warm vibration coming from CJ's voice and for just a minute Donna's heart slows down.
Then she's imagining Josh with one of those things that help people breathe. A respirator, it's a respirator. She knows what it's called, but the word doesn't want to form in her head. Because this is Josh and Josh doesn't need anything to help him breathe. Josh can breathe just fine on his own.
CJ stands up and when she looks down at Donna and says, "I'm sure he'll be alright," she wants to believe it.
She imagines tiny little carpenters inside Josh's chest, rebuilding with hammers and nails. Dust flying around inside his ribcage and the whirring of power tools.
II.
She isn't mad at Charlie, because it isn't his fault and he's feeling guilty enough for all of this. Still, when she passes him in the halls, she can't make eye contact.
All she can think is that they were aiming for him.
She goes into Josh's currently empty office and shuts the door behind her.
III.
He doesn't talk about it when she stops by his place on her way home. Even though she thinks it's something that should be discussed. That he was shot. That he could have died. These are the sort of things people talk about after they happen.
But Josh doesn't talk about it. And when she asks how he's doing, he just says, "Fine," in that voice he uses when he thinks she's asking a stupid question. She sets her mouth in a firm line and gets a beer from the kitchen for him. She isn't stupid. She's just afraid or confused or one of those other emotions that makes her throat tighten while her eyes remain dry.
Mostly they watch sports for an hour or so until she feels entirely unnecessary and stupid for even coming in the first place. Then she stands up and says, "Well, I guess I should head home," and he barely takes his eyes off the TV for a second as he nods and says, "Alright."
IV.
"You cut your hand on a glass?" She covers her mouth, trying not to laugh at the pitiful bandage he's got wrapped around his hand and the thought of him turning Hulk green until the glass in his hand shatters into a million pieces. No, actually, that thought scares her just a little.
"Yes, Donna, and it's not funny so stop laughing."
"I'm not. I just- A glass?"
"I just set it down too hard and it broke in my hand, that's all."
"Okay," she says, leaving the office. When she gets to the door she turns back around, "Did you put anything on it?"
"Donna."
"It's going to get infected and then you'll get that disease where they have to chop off your hand to keep you alive."
"I put some stuff on it. I washed it. I bandaged it. I'm not an idiot," and she's already opening her mouth, "Don't. Respond to that."
She goes back out to her desk and picks up the phone. "Hi, Leo. Listen, it's about Josh."
V.
Sirens.
He hears sirens (gunshots, screaming, that night all over again) when he hears music.
She tries to avoid humming when she's in his office.