I couldn't believe the sight before me. He was more than just "sorta beautiful". He was amazing. I wanted to trace the contours of his body.. I was marvelling at the mass of sheer muscle beside me that used to be my childhood friend... And these weren't childlike feelings.
"Jake. What happened to you? You cut your hair, you got a tattoo..." I let my words trail off, watching the rain roll down his perfectly sculpted body. He seemed like a work of art. A delicious work of art. Why didn't I ever notice how appealing Jacob was?
The answer was Edward. I had completely sacrificed my life for him. He was controlling, demanding, and sometimes very condescending. With hindsight, I figure that I enjoyed being his pawn, acting submissive. The passive-aggresive love affair we had was, addicting. I felt as if I could never live without Edward, and I could never be apart from him, that I was free with him. In the end it was vice versa. I couldn't live my life WITH Edward, I needed to be apart from him, and he might as well be my jailer. Choosing when I ate, when I went to sleep, what I did with my body. I was co-dependant on him.
When he left me, it was horrible. I had nightmares, I was lethargic, depressed. I had just lost my master, my lover.
I used to see him, whenever I had an adrenaline rush. It was amazing. I remember how thrilled I was. Delusional, right?
He ended up breaking it off with me. I wasn't good enough for him
Now that Edward doesn't want me anymore, I can be as reckless as I want.
"Jake, I thought you were too sick to come over? Too sick to even talk to me? What happened?"
"Bella, I need to go, this isn't a good time. Just, leave" he replied. I didn't believe he didn't want to talk to me. I couldn't imagine why he cut his gorgeous native hair.
It was happening again. Maybe it's just something with the atmosphere. The rain, the beautiful boy across from me, standing shirtless, slightly peeved. I wondered if he could sense the raw energy between us, the tension that leads to great angry sex. I wasn't backing down, my best friend was going to talk to me, whether he liked it or not.