I don't own bleach...
Me: Hi everyone! This is Ray! Welcome to my story!
Orihime: Hi!
Ichigo: *grumbles*
Rukia: Welcome!
Me: *glares at Ichigo* As you can see, I have two characters with me at the moment! Why? Because I have decided to follw in the footsteps of many wonderful and hilarious authors, and kidnap a character! Or in this case, characters! Yay me!
Ichigo: Why the fuck are we here?
Me: Because my life is boring.
Ichigo:*grumbles*
Orihime: Please don't grumble.
Ichigo: *grumbles*
Me: If you do that one more time...
Ichigo: *snorts* yeah, like that'll scare me!
Me: *holds up duct tape and Twilight DVD that her idiot aunt gave to her for her birthday*
Ichigo: You wouldn't dare!
Me: Try me. I dare you.
Ichigo: *grumbles*
Me: *grabs Ichigo, duct tapes him to a chair, and forces hhim to watch Twilight*
Orihime: Wow. That was kind of...harsh...
Me: *shrugs* It could've been worse.
Rukia: How?
Me: I could have had a Red Bull and then locked myself in a closet with him.
Orihime: Oh...my...
Me: *smiles evilly*
Rukia: So, why are we at school with you?
Me: Because my school is boring as hell.
Orihime: Shouldn't you be paying attention to your teacher?
Me: No. Why?
Orihime: Uh...okay..
Me: Soooo, what should we talk about?
Rukia: Unicorns!
Me: heheh, unicorns jizz sprinkles...
Rukia&Orihime: o_0
Me: But it's true! I learned it last night!
*flashback to last night at the band awards*
Jack: Hey, Ray?
Me: Yeah?
Jack: You know how unicorns shit rainbows?
Me: I thought that was Nyan cat, but sure, why?
Jack: Well I've been trying to figure out, what does unicorn jizz look like?
Me: Well, it has to be small and colorful...
Jack: I know! Rainbow sprinkles!
Me: OMG!
*flashback ends*
Rukia: That's wonderful and all, but you should be paying attention to your teacher.
Mrs K: *random spanish babble*
Me: She doesn't mind, right Mrs K?
Mrs K: Ray! *random spanish babble* Si o no?
Me: uh...si!
Mrs K: Tu piensas que los ninos necesitas hacer los drugos?
Me: Si! Porque los drugos son buenos! Jose, mi marmoseto pigmeo, se dice que eran buenos! Tambien, el dice que en los proximos vente anos, el va a conquista el mundo con su ejercito de monos voladores!
Mrs K: ...
Class: ...?
Me: I thought this was Spanish level 3! You should be able to understand that!
Mrs K: ...Mexicans...
Me: I'm not Mexican, goddammit! I'm Puerto Rican! ARGH!
Orihime: I think that the good people reading this deserve a translation!
Me: Uh...NO! If you want a translation, go to Google translate! Now review, or I'll eat Ichigo!
Ichigo: NO! REVIEW! NOW!