Summary: The events from The Farm catch up with Kara. This story goes completely AU after Home, part 2.

Spoilers: Everything up to and including Home, part 2.

Author's notes: This story has been in the planning stages for a very long time. In fact I began thinking about it long before Resurrection Ship aired and Shards was written to make it easier for me to understand where Kara was coming from. Reading Shards is by no means necessary to make sense out of this one, as this story is a stand alone.

Warnings: Non-descriptive references to child abuse in later chapters (how did child abuse get to be an 'adult issue' anyway?).

Long Shadows

Chapter 1
(Lee's POV)

It all started with something so small that I almost missed it... or rather I almost dismissed it. It was just a sharp intake of breath from Kara as she sat up in her bunk, a grimace of pain and an abortive gesture with her hand... one that was stopped as soon as she realized that I was watching her. That was the first thing that arose my suspicions... suspicions that were compounded by the worried look Helo was giving her.

Helo, now that is one guy I'm still having a hard time trying to figure out. In fact --even after Kobol-- I still don't really know how I feel about him, I still don't know whether or not I can trust him. On the one hand it is pretty apparent that Kara thinks of him as a friend, a good friend, and I trust her judgment in that regard, but on the other the guy is in love with a frakking toaster--another copy of the 'woman' I saw pumping two rounds into my father's chest no less-- and he knows it. That is not something I'm ever likely to forget.

Sure, I know things must have been rough for him back on Caprica. In fact I can't even begin to imagine the hell he must have gone through there and I understand him putting his full trust in his 'partner', at least at first... but to stick with her, to trust her even after he discovered what she really was, after he realized that he'd been played? That doesn't exactly fill me with confidence, far from it.

Still I know that now is not the time for me to be worrying about that, especially because I get the funny feeling that there's something big going on here, something I don't understand, something I'm not going to like. That Helo is worried about Kara is pretty apparent but the thing is that he seems to know more about what is going on with her right now than I do and --as petty as it sounds-- that bothers me.

It bothers me to see him sitting down next to her and it bothers me to see him reaching for her forehead, checking her temperature, though I do manage to find some comfort in the annoyed look on her face as she swats his hand away.

"Kara, has the doc checked you over since we've been back?" he asks gently, even though it is pretty obvious that he already knows --or at least suspects-- what the answer to his question is going to be and I'm not particularly surprised when Kara doesn't say anything, at least not with words though her glare certainly speaks volumes.

The question that comes to my mind, however, is why would Helo have assumed that Kara had been to see Cottle in the first place.

I'm still thinking about that when I see him tugging her arm and encouraging her to get up.

"Come on, I'll go with you," he says in a tone that leaves no room for argument.

"I can't. I have CAP in less than half an hour," she reminds him, shaking his hand off.

"I don't think so."

"Helo..." she warns him.

"You are running a fever," he points out, refusing to back down.

"I'm fine," she growls, obviously on the brink of losing her temper and trying hard not to look at me.

"Kara, are you okay?" I ask, jumping into the fray, not entirely sure of what is going on here but still determined to get myself some answers.

"I'm fine," she insists, now glaring at both of us.

"Then you won't mind Cottle checking you over, just to be on the safe side, right? I'll get someone else to cover your shift," I say.

"There's no need. I'm fine and we are short on pilots," she reminds me.

"That wasn't a suggestion, Lieutenant, and you know it. You know the rules, you can't fly if you are sick."

"I'm not sick. Besides, what are you going to do, gang up with Helo here and frog-march me to sickbay?" she challenges, crossing her arms and digging her heels in.

"If I have to. Why are you fighting this so hard?" I ask, still wondering what the hell is going on here but knowing that her health has to take priority over my curiosity... besides I will have plenty of time to get myself some answers later.

"Because we are short on pilots, we are short on sleep, we are all exhausted and I'm fine!" she snaps.

"Kara, have you been debriefed?" asks Helo, seemingly out of nowhere and I find myself wondering --again-- just what the frak it is that I'm missing here... and what does Kara's debriefing have to do with anything, especially because I can't help but notice that that question has earned him another glare from the unwilling focus of our attention, one that is enough to cause that nagging feeling of unease I've been having these past few minutes to morph into a sense of dread as I become almost painfully aware that Helo is right, that she hasn't been debriefed. In fact that is one of the countless things that seem to have fallen through the cracks amidst the chaos of these past few days as we've struggled to put the fleet back together again.

The truth is that at the time the fact that there had been no formal debriefing hadn't been anywhere near the top of anyone's priority list, it hadn't seemed all that important, especially because we all assumed that she had told us everything we needed to know before we even reached that tomb. In fact I suspect that one of the main reasons why my father has been so willing to let that debriefing slip is precisely because one of the things Kara mentioned back on Kobol is that there are survivors on Caprica and probably on the other colonies as well. That is not a subject anyone of us is willing to broach if we can avoid it... especially because we already know that there will be no going back, there will be no rescue mission and that is a decision we all find easier to make than to acknowledge.

The problem is that now it seems that in our attempt to avoid that particular subject we may also have allowed other things to remain hidden, things that should probably have come to light almost as soon as we rejoined the fleet a couple of days ago.

Well, one way or another that is about to change. I know there is something going on here now, I know there is something wrong with Kara --something Helo knows or at least suspects-- and I am determined to find out just what it is... even if that means frog-marching a certain stubborn pilot down to sickbay and actually sitting on top of her while she is debriefed.