"You two should spend some time apart." That was the last thing I heard before the beam of pure light shot right through me. I was ripped in two. The pain was immeasurable. I didn't even have time to cry out as everything went black.

When I awoke, it was still dark. Every part of my body screamed in pain, and I was positive my gem had been cracked, but even worse was a new feeling of having lost something. A huge emptiness that I felt to the core of my gem. Like my home had been taken away from me. Like I'd finally broken my chains, but then I'd been the one who was broken. Like half of my soul had been torn out.

I lay flat on my face for a long time, like a stupid human, before I finally remembered who I was. I was Jasper of Homeworld.

It was strange to feel this incomplete, having lived for thousands of turns as a guard, polished as a warrior, sworn to fulfill my Diamond's orders and hers alone. My strength was proof of her might, my victories evidence of our superiority as Gems. I needed no one else. I certainly didn't have any desire for something as disgusting as fusion. I didn't see how any self-respecting Gem could.

Admitting someone else had strength you wanted to use as your own, and then doing some stupid dance to merge your being with theirs, was just ridiculous. If someone else had strength, why didn't you just take it for yourself? Or become stronger and destroy them. That's what worked best for me and my Diamond. No need for fusing.

But then it all changed when I risked failing my mission. The ship had crashed. I faced the Crystal Gems alone. I needed an edge. So I grabbed my prisoner - Lapis Lazuli - and formed Malachite.

Immediately, I understood. The rush of power! The surge of strength! I had abilities I'd never had! And though Lapis fought to keep us restrained at the bottom of Earth's ocean, soon enough, we broke free and it seemed nothing could stop us. The ocean was ours to command. The sky was ours to soar. The puny Crystal Gems were ours to destroy. We didn't even need time to communicate our actions. We felt something, and it was done.

But I was alone now. Alone, in the dark, gem cracked, and in massive pain. No water to command, no skies to fly, not even underlings to order around or my Diamond to guide me. I was abandoned.

I had nothing.

I was nothing.

I lay still on the rocky ground, hoping not to aggravate my crack. Even if my gem hadn't been damaged, I didn't see the point in getting up. By now, my Diamond will have known that I failed my mission, and would probably proceed in activating the Cluster and having the planet Earth destroyed. I'd just become one with the innumerable broken Gems in the largest superweapon Homeworld had ever invested in.

At least I would become part of something again. If that happened, I'd be glad to accept my fate.

What a disgrace, I thought. The mighty warrior Jasper pathetically wishing she could do anything, to become part of something bigger than herself. Why didn't those Crystal Gems shatter me when they had the chance?

For the first time, I noticed that the ground was warm. Was I underground? Had I fallen through a fissure of some sort? Then the earth rumbled. I vaguely remembered it rumbling when I was Malachite, but I was too enveloped in my rage to care back then. Was the Cluster awakening? Good. That meant it was finally time to end it all.

Not too long after that, though, the rumbling stopped, and everything was silent. But no overwhelming Gem-light came. Had something gone wrong? Had the Cluster failed as well? I truly was a disgrace to my Diamond. No Crystal Gems, no prisoners, and now, no Cluster. I hoped this fissure in the earth would just close up and crush me.

Days must have passed and nothing of the sort happened. Nothing at all happened, actually. Just deep silence and pitch darkness. Then, a sharp whining sound, right above my head, like a drill boring through solid rock. The whining continued until I heard a machine punch through the wall. I heard light footsteps climb down the rubble and rush over to me. "Oh, thank goodness you're still in once piece!" breathed a worried voice.

It was that damn rebel Pearl.

The soft glow of light coming from her gem filled the tunnel as she picked me up and lifted me over her slender shoulders. I was humiliated at the thought of this useless Pearl trying to help me, but I didn't have the energy to protest. I was just barely holding my form.

She pointed herself in the direction of a contraption that looked like it was cobbled together in a primitive human workshop or something. As soon as she took a step towards it, the movement made all the pain come rushing back. My body almost fizzed out right then and there. It was then that Pearl looked down and noticed the crack in my gem.

"Keep it together, Jasper!" Pearl's voice sounded strained as she struggled to drag me back to her machine, step by slow, tiny step.

After a few more of these agonizing steps, I mustered the strength to mutter a question.

"Why…."

It came out a lot more pathetically than I'd ever intended, but the Pearl seemed to understand what I meant.

"Because, for whatever reason he has," I could hear the tinge of annoyance in her voice, "Steven still believes in you."

Steven? I just couldn't fathom it. There was still one person left who hadn't given up on me, and it was an enemy, of all people. I had kidnapped and hurt his friends. I had tried to destroy his home. What reason did Steven have to believe in me?

"He hasn't given up on you," Pearl huffed with effort. Then her voice softened slightly. "So...neither will I."

Two. There were two people who believed in me now. A useless, lost Pearl and a malformed incarnation of Rose Quartz. They sickened me.

But I could go back with them. I could become part of something bigger again. I closed my eyes and resigned myself to the thought.

Maybe I wasn't so alone after all.