1944, Denmark
The sun was glistening through the great glass windows of my father's study, lighting up all the little sparks of dust flowing in the air. It was well passed midday and the sky was slowly turning a deep shade of red. There were no sounds to be heard but the faint hum of birds singing in the great oak tree that dominated the gardens behind the study. It was as if the world had come to a complete standstill.
Sighing, I leant back over the mathematics book I had been reading, trying again for the hundredth time to see the connection between the written words and confusing formulas. My father was the director of our local bank and therefore thought it an outrage that his only daughter was failing math. He had therefore decided that I was to spend the whole summer studying. I normally enjoyed studying and it was not unusual for me to spend the summer holiday learning, but two weeks had now passed with nothing but mathematics and I was fed up.
Closing the book I slipped from my chair, feeling the bare skin of my thighs sticking to the leather cushion as I rose. Since the weather this summer has been unusually warm, I wore but a light white summer dress that came down to just below my knees. My mother said the dress complimented my light brown hair nicely, which was the only reason she would even think of purchasing it for me. Times were hard and a beautiful dress like this was a luxury not many people could afford.
I left the warm study and walked quietly towards the kitchen. My stomach had been rumbling since midday and the ache that came with it suddenly seemed unbearable. For breakfast I had eaten two slices of rye bread with a minimal amount of marmalade and a hardboiled egg. But that was hours ago and I had not had anything since then. It seemed as if even food was now an unaffordable luxury.
The corridors of our great house were les illuminated then the study. The hall's great windows faced the courtyard that lay in shadow most of the day, leaving the corridor in constant darkness. Everything here seemed so cold and distant in contrast to the lighter side of the manor. It was so strange seeing my home like this. These halls, which were once constantly filled with servants and guests fiddling about, now seemed so empty with only father, mother, Anja and I to walk them. And with both father and mother out on "official business" for the day, the house seemed even more lonesome. The lengthy blue drapes that adorned the long line of windows where decades old, yet they had always hung as beautiful and elegant as the day they were made. But now they seemed worn and dull. Their original deep blue color was fading with the rest of the room. Even the carpet would spit up clouds of dust with every step I took.
Through my light summer dress I felt a cold shiver go down my spine, as if the coldness itself was trying to usher me out. Fleeing the cold, I hurried down the hall to the kitchen door and slipped in without a sound. The kitchen was always a welcome sight. Like the study, it also faced our lush gardens with a breathtaking view of my beloved oak tree. Everything here had a warm glow to it in spite of the room's vast emptiness. With only four people in the house we had no use for all our extra kitchen utensils, which had once been used to prepare many great feasts, and had therefore sold them to others who needed it more. It was with that money I had gotten my dress.
Our oldest, and now only, housemaid Anja stood at the stove stirring in a great pot most likely containing this evening's meal. It smelled like leek soup. The same as we had been having for months now. Though I hated it, I knew that it could be no different with the few ration stamps we were given. But I knew we had an entire jar full of biscuits in the pantry. I just had to sneak past Anja, as I had done many times before and steal a biscuit or two. That way it was easier to keep the hunger at bay before supper.
It was simple enough not to make a sound running over the kitchen floor in my bare feet. Gently humming to herself while she cooked, Anja did not notice a thing as I slipped by her. When I was younger the biscuits had stood on the top shelf forcing me to climb the overloaded shelves to reach the jar. But now the pantry was as good as empty and scaling the wall was easier than reaching the top branches of the big oak tree.
But as soon as I grabbed the jar a great thunderclap suddenly sounded, making me lose my footing and thereby sending me and the jar of biscuits to the ground. I landed safely enough, quickly crouching down as my feet touched the floor and rolling till I stopped, just as I would when I fell from the tree in the garden. But the jar had not fallen as elegantly and hit the floor with a big clash, sending small pieces of glass and biscuits flying over the pantry floor, enabling me from taking a single step in my bear feet.
"Astrid! What in the heavens is going on here?" Looking to the pantry door I saw Anja standing with her hands firmly planted on her wide hips and an unmistakable scowl on her face.
I hurried to my feet, careful not to tread on any of the glass, while brushing the crumbs of my dress. "I'm sorry Anja. I was just hungry, that's all", I replied solemnly while looking down at my feet. Knowing that I had been caught red handed, I thought I might as well play the part of the regretful child. Fore despite my elsewise persuasive way with words there was no way I could talk myself out of this one.
My choice of words was diffidently right, for Anja's hard face soon softened, "I know you are. We are all hungry, but you can't be selfish and just steal our shared food any time you feel hungry. How do you think the word would be if everyone just took whatever they felt like without a care for those they steal it from?"
Much like it is now I wanted to say, but being cheeky would only bring me into more trouble. And I could see her point. I knew that I often acted selfishly when I wanted something and would frequently end up causing the people around me to get upset or angry with me. Most people dreaded the thought of other people being mad or disappointed in them, but unless the ones I had wronged where seething with rage and hatred for me, it never really bothered me. Our former house maid Tina had often teased me with my indifference and called me an Ice Queen. Of course that had not troubled me either.
"I know and I'm sorry Anja. I promise I won't do it again", I said with all the shame my voice could muster. "And I'm going to clean it up too" I said looking around the chaotic pantry floor, wondering how I would even get out of the pantry without ripping my feet to shreds.
Seeing my dilemma, Anja walked over the mess in her big working shoes and indicated me to climb up on her back to carry me over the floor. But as I did another even bigger thunderclap shook the house, making the last of the cans and jars fall all around us. As Anja sat me down on the kitchen floor, I looked out the window to see the elsewise clear sky being overtaken by some dark angry looking clouds. A sharp flash of light brightened my whole world for a short moment, quickly followed by yet another thunderclap and a howling wind that chilled me to the bone.
"How strange that a storm should come so quickly, it was so quiet just a minute ago" Anja pondered to herself as she leant over the stove to gaze out the window. Suddenly her whole body froze, her brown eyes filled with horror. I felt my heart being struck with fear as I ran to the window to see what had frightened her so, praying to god that I would not be met with a swastika.
"I have to bring the laundry inside before it starts raining!" she suddenly cried.
Letting out a sigh of relief I watched Anja run frenetically from the room, only stopping in the doorway to remind me to clean up the pantry. I could not help but laugh out loud at Anja's priorities. There was a war going on and she was panicking over wet sheets.
I went up to my room to don some more practical clothes, putting on an old cream colored dress with a light green cardigan over it. I also made sure to put on some good working shoos that the glass splinters would not be able to penetrate. While lacing my shoes on the bed, I admired the photograph of my parents which was standing on my bedside table. Everyone always said my mother was the most beautiful woman in town and I believed them. Although I had inherited many of her features; the light brown hair, the grey-green eyes, high forehead and square face, it all just seemed to fit better on her. She had a gracefulness about her that was reflected in everything about her.
My father on the other hand was a chubby little man with a rectangular face and small amount of hair on his head that was turning greyer each year. I had hardly inherited any features from him, but mother still insisted that we were like peas in a pod. And I guess she was right in some way. When meeting new people, my father would always go into his "director mod", only speaking in judicious and well thought out sentences with as few words as possible. I did the same, but that was mostly because I would get nervous and not know what to say to these strangers. At home and with the people he trusted, my father would be completely different, making jokes and talking nonstop for hours. That was when I liked him most. I hated going to social gatherings because then he would not be himself and more often than not, he would go the whole evening ignoring me. I desperately hoped I would not end up like my father.
After finishing lacing my shoes, I went down to help Anja bring in the laundry and clan the pantry. By the time we were done it was time for supper. It was only as I sat down at the vast kitchen table for supper that I noticed that my parents had yet to come home.
"Anja, did father mention when he and mother where to return?" I asked slightly worried.
"He did say that they would be home by now, but they're probably just held up by the storm" Anja said with a reassuring smile. "We'll just eat now and then they can get some when they come home". She then put a bowl of leek soup in front of me and sat down with her own bowl, making the bench dip under her weight. My stomach's rumbling was almost enough to compete with the frequent thunderclaps, so I simply ate my soup and enjoyed the feeling of a full stomach.
But I could not shake the feeling that something was not right.
When the war had first broken out I had barely even noticed there was a war. It was not until a year ago, when my father finally said no and stopped collaborating with the Nazis, that the reality of the war really hit us. Since then the Nazis had made sure to make my father's life as miserable as possible. First they closed his bank, forcing him to fire not only the bank staff, but also our help at home. The only reason Anja was still here, was because she had insisted on not getting paid for her work.
But now father was constantly being called in by the Nazis to defend himself against small crimes which he had not done. Each time mother would go with him and each time they would come home a little later. For some time now, I had feared the day they would not come home at all. And today might be that day.
After supper I helped Anja clean up and was on my way to retrieve my books from the study when the corridor was suddenly lit up by two bright lights. I carefully looked out from behind the heavy curtains into the courtyard, to see three black automobiles driving into the yard. I could not suppress my terrified gasp when I saw the foul black swastika on the front of all the vehicles.
"Anja!" I shouted as I ran back to the kitchen, "Anja, it's the Nazis! They're here".
Dropping the plates in her hands to the floor, Anja hurried over to embrace me in a bone crushing hug, "don't worry. It's going to be all right. No need to panic" she said in a rather panicked voice. Grabbing a hold of my arms she looked me straight in the eyes, "Now listen to me Astrid. I want you to go to your room and put your coat and your shoes on. Then run out the back door and into the woods behind the house". While talking, Anja's voice had gotten more steady and determined.
Wiping a tear away from my cheek, that I did not even know I had shed, she continued in a calm voice, "You must keep going until you reach the road, then you follow it west until you get to Thomas Madsen's house. Understand? I'll keep them occupied as long as I can". With that she kissed me on the forehead and pushed me towards my room.
Without time for a second thought I ran to get my coat and shoes. While sitting on my bed lacing the left shoe I heard a hard knock on the door. Before Anja had even had a chance to open the door, the Nazis were already shouting and swearing in German, demanding that she let them in. I swiftly slipped on my other shoe and coat feeling the terror slowly rising up in me. Anja had now opened the door and was telling them that they could not come in, "Do you know how late it is? How dare you come running at this hou-."
A clear shot rang out followed by the sound of someone falling to the floor.
And then I knew it was too late. Anja had not been able to hold them back. They shot her! And now they are coming to kill me too!