Author's Note: Hi everyone. This is not my first fanfiction, but it's been a while since I wrote something serious and this is my first South Park fanfiction. Feel free to give constructive criticism and reviews are appreciated.
This doesn't make as much sense if you've never read The Screwtape Letters. That story is about devils tempting a human away from God, and this one is about angels leading a human in the right direction (and yes, Cartman is an angel. I know, the irony. But it needed to happen for the story to work.) Also, I know that in the show Cartman's gifted at persuasion and tempting people, but I think that since this is his JOB here, and not for his own benefit, he would suck at it.
I put the shipping warning because I do ship these guys and it may slip into this story, but I don't think they'll officially get together or whatever. This is mostly arguing.
Enjoy the story! :)
Dear Cartman,
I asked you to describe your human to me. Saying he was a "weak-ass hippie" wasn't what I meant.
Look, I'll be honest, I'm not expecting much from you. At all. I didn't get to be where I am today because I told my patient to sit on his fat ass and eat cheesy poofs all day. Do you want to get promoted? Then actually do something for once. And use effort.
your higher up friend,
Kyle.