Chapter 1 – Selfishness and Selflessness
It started on her mother's birthday. She saw how her friends were acting more mature with their families and she decided the least she could do was call her on her birthday.
"Hello?"
"Hi mum, its Annie."
"Oh.. Hi Annie. Your brother says hello."
"Thanks.. Happy Birthday mum. You should have your card or get it tomorrow."
"Yeah its good. What's been going on with you Annie?"
"Still at Community College. I changed courses."
"Oh but administration was such a stable job. You may continue changing your mind whereas admin would help and open up social works. Get you with higher people. Finally get you with a nice man and married. I've give this man your number. Lovely man, works with your father and I set you up on a date with another man. I'm glad you look nicer darling, braces put men off. And I'm thinking of giving a number to our new numbers."
"Mum. Please stop. We haven't been talking and you've been giving men my number," but she'd had this conversation enough when she was younger to know it meant nothing, she took one big courage step to at least pause it, "Plus my fiancée is jealous. Even if I text them to say not to text me."
"Oh! Darling! You're engaged? I'm so glad to hear! Is he a nice young man? Does he care for you properly? What are your plans in the future?" And so took place the most normal conversation her mother ever had. Asked her about her plans without complaining too much, asked about other things and she realised - she actually enjoyed it.
Over the next few weeks she talked to her mum about everything when she called which was every few days. Abed and Britta caught certain snippets in flat and all Annie could do was shrug. She even talked it over with Britta at bartending.
"Why engaged?"
"She's wanted to see me married off for years. Probably since I was small but 17+ is legal. And yet I know if I was to marry without her input shed have my head. Plus Id had enough of the stranger calls. And now I pretend she treats me like a normal person." She sighs and half smiles at Britta, both drinking vodka and cranberry.
Britta runs out of advice cos she knows Annie's mother cut her off in rehab and she knows Annie doesn't want to be a disappointment to her again. Instead she half jokingly insists that she hire someone. She's woman enough to admit she takes a lot of Britta's bartending advice. Some can be abit odd but on the all she's quite good. Its mid-study group when it really kicks off. Her phone rings and she decides to ignore Jeff's pursed lips at noticing the contact. "Hello, mum, I'm quite busy at the moment."
"Don't worry, short conversation. You're off on holiday with your man in 2 or 3 weeks aren't you?" Her mother says, as if her biggest plan is to send a postcard.
"Yeah. Test next week so we're treating ourselves."
"Good. Thought so. I'll come over in a couple of days for that week then. Time to meet this man of your life."
"What?! No, I.. We..." She stumbled over her words.
"No, Annie, I need to meet this man of yours. And help you plan...whenever you have it, you need a plan ready."
Annie knew it took her mum a lot to say whenever so she simply sighed, "Yeah, okay. See you when?"
"Wednesday. Oh, I'll come see this Greendale of yours too. I'm sure you have a small place though so I'll book a hotel room."
"Thank you mum. I'll see you then." And with a quick bye each way she hung up and slammed arms crossed on the table and hid her face in them. Jeff, Frankie, Elroy and Chang looked in confusion as she grumbled into her arms. Britta and Abed looked at each other, knowing what it meant. "She's coming here." Annie moans loudly.
Britta took a drink out of her backpack and poured Annie a shot. Frankie berated her for stealing drink but by then Annie had downed the shot and doing a tap signal on the table for another for which Britta obliged. Elroy had enough of the confusion and asked, "Am I out of frame here? Does this happen every year? Can I drink?"
Annie passed over the shot glass and at Jeff's shocked expression she sadly shrugs which he just nods.
"May I?" Abed asks Annie. "All of it?"
"Yeah, suppose they best know, it'll be a shock otherwise." "For background, Annie was an overachiever and her family got used to this, making smaller marks even more of a blow. In high school she took most extra credits and to keep up with being highest she took and ended up getting hooked on Adderall, causing bullying to get worse and all in all a breakdown. She went to rehab and became our Annie. Her mother hadn't spoke to her since her Adderall breakdown. Until her mother's birthday a while back she called and got back in touch with her mum."
"Ahhh..."
"No, not ahh, stories not finished. Annie's being lying to her mum about her relationship status to get her mum to accept her. Which worked. But now we must find Annie a fiancée in..."
"mumayss." Was the only audible mumble.
"Annie." Jeff berated her.
"2 days. For assumingly till we all go on holiday." They all looked at her in shock and she pulled the disney face. Before they could cover their eyes they already felt sorry for her.
"What can we do?" Britta sighed in defeat.
"Help me find a man to hire, please?" They all nodded one by one but Jeff who was staring sympathetically at her
"Fine." wielded Jeff, "One condition. Has to be someone at least one of us know. Dont want some creeper being paid and kidnapping you."
"Jeffff."
"No, hes right Annie, most tv tropes of strangers pretending not to be strangers is one becomes obsessed."
"And I'd argue with Abed but it happens in real life."
"Fine, lets talk names."
"'The Dean." suggested Chang.
"No, he just came out as gay. And then political."
"Garrett?"
Jeff shook his head, "No, way out of her league -not buyable."
"Abed?" Elroy suggested. They paused, Abed looking nowhere but down.
"Unavailable." Annie declared, Jeff still looked uneasy, "Rachel moved temporarily but they're still together. They skype. She's coming back in a month. Family thing. Plus Abed's too much my friend."
"Todd?"
"Married."
"Guy from paintball 2nd time around?"
"Ohh." Annie smiled.
"No.. we don't know the guy. Or to go with logic, we so don't know him we don't have his number." Jeff shot the idea down. They paused a moment and looked towards Elroy apart from Annie. Elroy laughed a moment then realising they were serious, shook his head, "No, not a chance."
Abed recalled, "No, suppose not. You said your mum was a bigot."
She quietly nodded as the room descended into silence again.
"Leonard?" suggested Leonard.
"No, Leonard. Shoo! There's new tater tots in the hall." Annie waved him away.
"There's new tater tots?!" said all of them in surprise.
She nodded. "We can go."
"We should finish this first." Replied Abed, "There's always the obvious decision."
"Me." Chang interrupted.
"No. Jeff. They're the only ones with enough chemistry." Annie and Jeff looked at each other for a millisecond before Annie looked down without moving her chin. A small half frown, very un-Annie like, made its way across her face. A long pause and Annie started to shake her head at Abed when.
"I suppose you're right. We're close and I'm protective and if she were to pick some scummy stranger Id cause enough fuss to get her caught out. Best way to make sure we don't have a Buddy Austin in our midst." Jeff reasons a while.
"Decided. We must now go. Tater tots call us." He says as they all haul out, a slower Annie behind.
"Thank you. I know you were freaked out when I pretended we were married and you'd not want to rehash it. You're a selfless man, Jeff."
"It's okay. I'd rather not rehash or relive it or pretend stuff but I have family too. And you'll owe me a favour. Also..."
"What?"
"I am selfish." He grinned like he did when she berated him that night they tried to pull the City College advert.
She instantly became suspicious, "Why?"
"Because you're a slow poke and I want tater tots. Bye!" He started running full speed down the hall, passing the others for which Chang considered a challenge and doubled in pace to keep up.
"Save one for me!"
"Only if you start running." He called back, almost out of earshot now. Frankie held a hand out behind her for Annie to grab, she shook her head and started to sprint.