Hold On

by XoxStrifexoX

You keep your wishes, keep you wishes I'll keep my feelings. There goes along the one that kept me breathing. I'm waiting for you, I know your leaving. I still adore you. SongFic - One shot R&R

You keep your distance, I can't deny you. I got the feeling, can't satisfy you. I got your picture on the wall. I got the picture while I'm gone.

The ceiling fan shuddered as the blade spun. The small gust of air created by it circulating through the tiny studio apartment. The air pushed softly against the blonde hairs making them shift ever so slightly; fluttering over their tanned skinned owner. Darkened blue eyes didn't so much blink as the fine hairs danced across his face. His lids hung low; they felt so heavy; he felt so… tired.

The blonde laid flat on his back his arms and legs splayed across the hard mattress underneath him. His bare chest exposed and his orange bed sheet tossed carelessly over half his boxer clad body. How long had he laid like that? Stared poi tingly at the same spot on the white ceiling above. Of course that same spot he stared into was no different to the other large expanse of his ceiling; but he was sure by now that an imaginary hole was burned into that spot.

Slowly closing his eyes he pulled the center of his bottom lip to his teeth a bit down softly. He allowed his head to roll to the side with nothing more than an in take of breath. His brow furrowed for a moment in contemplation. He knew it was hurt. It was always painful; but it was all he had left. The only thing he could hold on to.

He relaxed his face as he began to open his eyes. He allowed his teeth to release their grip on his lip as his tongue moved over the dry flesh. Once his eyes focused on the three objects standing bold against the near empty room he had to choke back the strangled noise that managed to make it into his throat. His eyes stun painfully but he refused to cry. A few uneven breaths later and he was able to calm his racing heart and his burning eyes. But nothing in his power could reduced the painful jabbing in his chest. The sensation was akin to being impaled; or at least that's the only thing he imagined could describe it.

And what could trigger such intense emotions? What exactly was it that plagued him; that yanked his heart out of his chest every time?

Nothing more than three simple objects. Nothing more than pictures; but the simple photographs were all he had left. They were the only thing left to him as a reminder of what he once had. What he had lost; and would never had again.

The photograph to the left being the oldest. The image of a man with blinding bright blonde hair and a slightly younger woman with strawberry blonde stood proudly with their child held up between the two. The boy appeared no more than five or perhaps six; his arms wound tight around his parents necks; consequently pushing all three of their heads together. Their blissful smiles lit up the photo; and Naruto wished he could remember the soft laughter from his mother and hearty chuckle from his father that went with the image. Over the years their laughter seemingly erased itself from his mind; as well as their soothing voices. He never quite understood why they were taken from him. No dead panned answer could ever justify it; so he choose to believe for so long that they would pull through. Come back to him.

He was selfish. After the accident; after he woke up; after he knew the truth. His parents; both normally full of life and love lie motionless on the beds in the hospital. It wasn't until his only living relative was called in that he learned the awful truth.

His parents were asleep the doctors had told him. That they were in a very deep sleep and it would take time for them to wake up.

When his relative arrived; a older male whose hair had grayed from age and stretched down the center of his back, along with a strange bandana tied across his forehead to keep his hair from falling into his seemingly wise eyes; he sat him down to talk "man to man".

The doctors had been vague; and told nothing more than lies to the young child. Of course in better interest to his mental condition and stability; loosing your parents at such a young age would be more than traumatic. But this man; his relative; Jiraiya. He had seen things differently. To led a child to false hope was worse than dealing the facts.

Jiraiya had confirmed that indeed they were 'sleeping', but this form of sleep was a coma. One that both his parents were less than five percent likely to wake from. That it would be cruel to keep them on the supports that allowed them to barely cling to life. That it was indeed painful for them and that even awake they would be nothing more than dolls. The impact had left them both with irreparable brain damage. They were nothing more than shells. It was at that time when the young large blue orbs widened to meet his 'new guardian's' that everything hit the young boy all at once.

He remembered the tears falling freely passed his puffy cheeks as the elder man hesitantly embraced him in his strong arms. Naruto still recalled how the scent of his grandfather seemed to calm his nerves; but even that calming scent escaped him now.

He held his parents hands tightly in his tiny hands as they pulled the plug; and it wasn't until three hours later that Jiraiya managed to tear the boy away from the two lifeless forms.

Ironic that only twelve years later he sat near Jiraiya's own bedside; holding the elder's hand as his life two slipped away. Watering blue orbs moved to the picture frame on the right; one of Jiraiya and himself.

Jiraiya was more than just a grandfather to him or even a mere guardian. Jiraiya was; in a sense; his other father. He taught Naruto everything he knew; for better or worse; and Naruto never regretted following Jiraiya's ideals. The picture was truly a perfect capture of their relationship. Naruto knew he gave the elder a tough time, but even in the picture of his scowling face as Jiraiya ruffled his hair playfully a wide smile and up turned eyes he could clearly see the signature Uzumaki grin. One of contentment; one of affection and happiness; one he thought he would never feel again after that day.

He was alone. Completely on his own. Using what Jiraiya left him he was able to obtain his studio apartment and continue to go to school. It wasn't much but it was enough to get by. Naruto himself didn't feel it necessary to obtain foster parents. He lost enough people; it was just safer to be on his own. Or at least that's what he thought… before he met… him.

That's right; Sasuke Uchiha.

He closed his eyes searching for the seemingly far off memory. He could only smile sadly at it's retrieval. He remembered that day; bringing back some of the flame that began to fade in his eyes.

It had been raining that day. He remembered that more than anything. Not because of the chill that seeped into his bones. Or the haunting reminder of how close he was to ending it all under that perfect stormy sky. One that mirrored his heart and his tormented existence. No; none of those were that profound to make him remember such a detail.

It was the raven haired male himself. The way even the rain couldn't mar the boys beauty; only amplify it. The dark bangs either hung dripping or clung to the other's slender heart shaped face. The way the drops of water trailed down the raven's cheeks and neck falling down and disappearing in the neckline of his shirt. His shirt clinged to the slender and toned body of its owner; the pale skin practically glowing. The image of the man before him was absolutely striking. The gasp of air that filtered through his lungs was a reminder that he was still able to breathe. That there was still beauty in this world left for him to discover.

He nearly chuckled as he remembered the one word that past through Sasuke's lips. That smooth and cocky fucking voice; the one he could never hear enough of no matter how much it infuriated him.

"Dobe."

That was all it took. Naruto eyes had widened in disbelief; beautiful or not who the hell did this guy think he was?

It wasn't until the Uchiha extended his hand with a snort at Naruto's agitated expression that the blonde realized it wasn't meant to be a direct insult, "You'll get sick out here."

Naruto's lips twitched to a small smile before taking hold of the others hand. It was warm to the touch; whether it was due to his own frigid skin or something else he wasn't sure, "Teme…"

Hn; was the only reply he received as the raven haired male guided him out of the stormy cold weather.

From that day on; they became inseparable friends, rivals, and eventually family.

Both boys were alone. No living relatives between either of them. They became each others backbone. Their support. They fueled each others determination and drive and kept them on the right path to a decent future. They had a bond that Naruto thought nothing could break. That nothing could come between; but how foolish was he to think such a thing.

That last picture looming dead center of his other two photos was a reminder of what bond 'he' had broken. The last thing that kept him breathing; alive.

Sasuke was scowling in the photo; but his eyes never to match his expression. They held a warmth and liveliness that only Naruto Uzumaki himself could proudly draw out. The blonde stood was his arm draped over the other's shoulder leaning carelessly against the Uchiha with the same genuine shit eating grin he always wore around the other. The photo captured them perfectly. What they had been… what they no longer were. Due to his own stupidity.

Whether Sasuke knew it or not he was right. He was a moron; a complete loser.

Naruto closed his eyes tightly to try to ward off the painful memory. Just how stupid could he be; how fucking stupid to mess everything up.

You keep your wishes, (keep you wishes) I'll keep my feelings. There goes along the one that kept me breathing. I'm waiting for you, I know your leaving. I still adore you. You never need me.

Naruto shifted a bit uncomfortably in front of the raven as he gathered his courage, "S-Sasuke…I.."

The raven raised a brow as he cross his arms impatiently, "What dobe?"

Naruto let his gaze fall for a moment as he took a step forward. His eyes slowly trailing up to Sasuke's own orbs; and once they locked his breath hitched and his body took over. He could see Sasuke tense as he neared him. Could tell from the shocked expression and the strained lips against his that he had not only taken the raven off guard but possibly scared him into nothing more than a statue.

But he wasn't… pulling away. And that was all the permission Naruto's body needed. The blonde's arms moved to wrap around the ravens; to curl into his soft black spiky hair and draw him closer. But he quickly felt a shove that sent him flying backwards onto the ground straight on his ass.

He yelped and was quick to retort but not quite as quick as his eyes. The foul expression on the raven's features was proof enough. The back of the others pale hand held to the fine lips he had just pressed up against; breath sharp and nearly panting. But not from anything more than rage. That image itself left the words dead in his throat.

"Sasuke I'm…"

"What the fuck was that Naruto," Sasuke demanded harshly. The deep tone and the way he used his name… Naruto wished to never hear Sasuke say his name like that ever again. He couldn't match the others eyes as he spoke.

"I'm in lov…," Sasuke quickly caught him off.

"Don't you say that! Don't you fucking say that," Sasuke warned. But much like any warning Naruto seemed to ignore it. Ever since that day he met Sasuke. Ever since he took the raven's hand.

"I have since that day Sasuke," Naruto's voice was a low whisper as he swallowed the growing lump in his throat.

"Naruto…," Sasuke warned again.

"You were so beautiful… you still are..Sasuke… I love you."

Sasuke shook his head his eyes wide and his mouth parted as his mind struggled to obtain words. It wasn't until he took a few steps back from the blonde that he was able to speak. And with every step he knew the evitable was to happen. Sasuke would leave him just like everyone else.

"You don't mean that… Naruto… you don't… just…just forget you ever met me. Just leave me alone," Sasuke's own voice gave in at the end as it cracked slightly before he spun on heel and abruptly jerked the door open to leave Naruto's tiny apartment.

Naruto wasn't sure if Sasuke heard him after he stepped out and the door was slammed. It was weak even to his own ears, but somehow; as he crumbled to the floor wrapping his arms around himself for some type of comfort; he prayed they would reach him, "I love you Sasuke…"

And just like that he felt what little breath of life he had left walk out the door with the young Uchiha.

The things you told me, To hear you speak. I'm burning slowly, I'm growing weak. You bring me close to, yes, the day, Yes the day's a million miles away. Why can't you hear me? Why can't I see you? And I don't understand what keeps me breathing.

Naruto moved his head slowly to that 'spot' on the wall once again. Trying to block the image of that picture from his mind. Three months. Three fucking months had gone by. The first month was torture. He saw Sasuke on a daily basis but he respected the Uchiha and left him alone. He ignored Naruto like the plague. Worse; like he didn't exist at all. It killed him and he had to fight every ounce of his being not to run to the stubborn raven and do… something! Anything!

But he knew that crossing the Uchiha again would mean he would never forgive him. So instead Naruto swallowed his pride. He would love Sasuke regardless; he would always hold on to that. He just prayed that the Uchiha would come around.

Once school ended; it became harder. Sasuke made point to avoid him at all costs. Naruto took their mutual friend Sakura up on every offer of an outing. Not because he so much wanted to go out or spend time with the pink haired girl; but because Naruto knew she would invite Sasuke as well. And every time he would show to meet her it would be the same.

Sasuke's presence was absent. And Sakura was left to apologize; it wasn't her fault the raven wouldn't come. She had tried; for his and their sake. That was enough, and he was grateful for that.

When that didn't work Naruto went back to that same place they first met. At the same time they met. Every day. He would stay there for as long as he could stand it but that to had the same disappointing result. No Sasuke. It seemed Sasuke really did mean to severe their bond together; and it was all Naruto's fault. Because of one foolish impulse. One mistake.

Naruto groaned as his eyes lazily fell to the vibrating phone next to his head. He hadn't bothered to put it on the charger, as a matter of face he was surprised that it even had life left in the battery. The blonde reached for the phone to stare at the front scene.

It was Sakura.

He closed his eyes as he opened the phone and with a little reluctance placed it to his ear. He was amazed at how rough his voice sounded; it was as if he hadn't used it and years, "Yo; what's' up Sakura-chan."

It meant for it to hold the usual charm and false melodious tone to it he often used with Sakura as well as everyone else, but he just couldn't seem to muster it.

'Naruto..,' Sakura's voice was soft on the other end of the line. She was deeply concerned for Naruto. He just wasn't the same since Sasuke and he had stopped speaking. She wasn't sure what exactly happened between her two friends, but she wasn't about to allow this to go on. Not any longer.

'Sasuke's leaving.'

Naruto's eyes widened at the information; not realizing he was holding his breath for her to continue.

'I just found out today.. I went to his house just as he was walking out with his things. He'll be at the airport.. His flight doesn't leave for another couple of hours… You have to stop him Naruto.'

Naruto's broken chuckle frightened even himself; since when did he sound so hollow, "Forget it Sakura. He doesn't need me; he never did. There's nothing I can say to him to change his mind…"

'You're wrong Naruto,' her voice was stern over the line. Naruto narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to retort but she was faster, 'He needs you more than you think. If you let him go now… Naruto… he's lost without you to… I don't know what happened.. A-and I don't care but…,' she was on the verge of tears; her voice was shaking, 'but I beg you Naruto please… Please; bring him back.'

"Sakura…," he wanted to tell her how unreasonable she was being; he wanted her to shut up and leave him alone. Nothing could take back his mistake; nothing would change Sasuke's mind. He was a fucking Uchiha for Christ's sake!

'I need you back too Naruto… a-and.. If.. If I can't do it…,' Naruto's heart broke at her vague confession. He knew Sakura had feelings for him; Sasuke to at one point in time. But he never realized just how much it hurt her to only be able to do so little.

"Alright…," Naruto sighed, "I'll try Sakura-chan I promise. I'll head over right now.. Just please.. Don't cry."

'Whose crying,' she snapped but it broke off into a sob. Naruto couldn't help the defeated grin; Sakura was just to stubborn.

"Thank you…Sakura; I love you so much, you'll really make someone happy one day."

'I know Naruto.. I… love you too..,' after one more hiccup which managed to slip past her lips she nearly barked before hanging up the phone, 'Now hurry up you idiot or you'll miss his flight!'

I'm waiting for you. I know you're leaving, I'll still adore you, You never need me.

After much scrambling on Naruto's part he managed to do a half assed job of getting dressed and fixing his hair as he called for a cab. The ride to the airport seemingly took an eternity. What exactly would he say? What 'could' he say?

He was so lost in thought that he hadn't realized that they had already pulled up to the airport and the cab driver was waving at him quite irritably to pay up and go on his way. Naruto yanked out what money he had and tossed it to the driver; it wasn't much but it would cover it. And personally Naruto didn't quite care enough to take out the cash and count it exactly. All his mind could process was running into the airport and finding his raven haired 'friend' before he disappeared from his life like all the others.

He wouldn't let Sasuke become just another picture for him to look back on.

The crowds whirled around him as he entered the building. To anyone else he probably looked insane. He was frantic; his eyes darting left and right trying to find the bastard's terminal. Finally pin pointing it he pushed through the unrelenting crowd till he finally made his way over to the correct area. His eyes darted on every mop of black hair searching for the correct owner.

Naruto closed his eyes and took a calming breath before opening them and scanning the room once more.

-please..- He begged.

"Move."

Naruto's eyes widened at the voice the came from behind his ear before slowly turning around and meeting the owner's gaze.

Raven hair fell on either side of the owner's pale face. His eyes dulled to gray and dark circles apparent under the other wise flawless skin. When their eyes met Naruto swore he saw a spark of life burn behind the raven's orbs, and even felt a flame behind his own. It was just like that day; just as beautiful. Rain or not.

"Get out of my way," and the spell was broken as the Uchiha brushed shoulders to push past him.

This time; Naruto wouldn't let him go, "Hold on," he reached out quickly and grabbed onto the Uchiha's bicep stopping him mid-stride, "Sasuke… wait…."

The Uchiha made no move to turn but focused his eyes to peer through the corner of his vision to glance at Naruto, "I told you to leave me alone…"

"I won't," he exclaimed before his voice softened once more, "… Sasuke… I can't."

"You can… so just… let go…," Sasuke's voice had no bite behind it. It sounded just as broken as his own voice. How did Naruto not notice it before. The image of beauty before him looked tired. Frail. He was paler than normal; thinner; he looked tired. How didn't he notice. This was all his fault.

Naruto's shoulders shook as he bit down on his upper lip; his head falling and his eyes clutching tightly together. His grip even tightening around Sasuke's arm; afraid that if he loosened them for one second that the raven male would vanish before him.

"I'm sorry," he started with a croak of his voice before clearing his throat trying to speak clearer, " I understand.. If you can't forgive me. I love you Sasuke; nothing can change that.. But please..," Naruto's teary blue eyes filled with desperation as he once again found his voice, "Please Sasuke.. Just.. Don't leave. I-I can't.. I can't… not without you.. And.. I just… let me… let me find some way.. We can come up with … with something.. I know we can.. Sasuke.. Please…."

The raven watched the display as Naruto broke down before him. His hardened eyes growing softer watched Naruto's body shake; wrecked with uncontrollable sobbing. Naruto himself felt his knees growing weak against his weight as they threatened to give out. The strangled noise that left his throat; he was unsure of whether it was a laugh or yet another sob as his gut twisted. He couldn't identify the feeling.

"Please Sas…"

Naruto's eyes shot wide as he felt the raven's arms wrap around his trembling form pulling him closer to the Uchiha's body, "Dobe…"

Naruto's breath hitched as Sasuke's breath was warm against his ear as he continued to speak, "I can't let you get hurt…"

Naruto went lean back to give Sasuke a questioning glance but the Uchiha held fast to Naruto's body; not willing to release him.

"Everyone I love.. Everyone I love dies Naruto…I-I can't let that happen… not to you.. Don't you understand?"

Naruto's brain ran frantic trying to decipher went exactly the Uchiha was saying and once it reached him in all clarity his arms' quickly found their way around the pale form embracing him.

"You bastard.. I'm more likely to die without you," Naruto tried to joke and was rewarded with a soft chuckled followed by Sasuke's trademark 'hn'.

"I've missed you…teme," it was so quiet even Sasuke strained to hear it.

"Dobe…," Sasuke closed his eyes contently with a soft smile on his face; he'd never admit it, but he missed Naruto too, "You would…"

Naruto knew better and only held on tighter to Sasuke, "I… love you… Sasuke.."

Naruto could only hold his breath as Sasuke nuzzled his hair, "I love you too… Naruto…"

Hold on. I've found another way to let you go, away. Hold on. You've find another way to play my soul, away

OWARI ~ ~ ~ ~

YAY! ONE SHOT! -BANG- So what you think? I had to listen to Hold On by limp bizket like ten thousand times to write it so please review and let me know what you think! I think this is my best song fic thus far --Thank you and I hope you enjoyed it!!