Chibi Kilik: Shinigami no Kamikaze does not own Gundam Wing or a sense of morality!
Shinigami no Kamikaze: Thankees, Kilik-chan (he's assisting me today)!! This fic was written 'cause I need to freaking post something! I've got the starts of about five fics, and I'm stuck in every one! So, I don't care how much this one sucks, it's gettin' tossed out there.
Chibi Kilik: A friendly reminder, this fic contains shounen ai, angst-ish, and cussing.
*Chibi Hwoarang pokes his head around a corner* You're such a puppet, Kilik!
SnK: *grabs Chibi Kilik by his collar before he can go tear out Hwoarang's voice box* Well... hope you enjoy...
Here Then Gone Part 1
by Shinigami no kamikaze
It was so easy to go around in a half-drugged daze. To use kill time by using the pills to send him into dreamless sleep. There wasn't a need for him anymore. Not a single soul needed him.
He did it so he couldn't feel. He was trained not to feel, but the people whom he'd fought with and met during the war, coaxed those feelings out of him. The incorrigable personality of Duo Maxwell was often the leading cause of the outbreak of emotion. Emotions to which he was so unfamiliar with...
They used to be... pleasant. He didn't undersatdn them, but they were pleasant. Each time the American's smiled, it sent an enjoyable, indescribable trill down his spine, especially if that smile was directed at him. He never let Duo know it. He'd been trained to disguse any weakness, and confusion was definately a weakness. He still wasn't sure why it happened.
But when he'd left the other Gundam pilots to find themselves a niche in society, his newly revived emotions had begun to ache. They knawed at him, and he couldn't make them stop. It wasn't like disease.. he would have a better idea of what to do if it were that simple. It was just an empty feeling.
Not knowing what he should do for a living, Heero'd simply rented out this apartment and lived leeching money from places that could afford it to support him. There was nothing for him to do. He'd always had a mission, but now that it was over... the was no one to tell him what to do. No one to give him direction, to fill that newly formed nagging hole in him that desperately wanted to be filled.
But seditives and painkillers could help make it better. They were temporary fixes to a swiftly worsening problem. Some relief was better than no relief.
Then it finally came to him. A permenant solution to his dilemma. He'd always been ready to die before, why not now? The peace that had settled over Earth and space was stable enough to survive on it's own. If not, Wufei and the Preventers were skilled enough to keep things together. There really was no need for him to suffer anymore.
Heero picked up the bottle of sleeping pills. They were within easy reach. It wasn't like anyone would find him soon enough to save him, so, there was no need to use his gun. Without further thought, he twisted off and threw aside the cap, emptying the contents of the bottle into his mouth. Then he closed his eyes and began to sink into oblivion.
***
"Heero...?"
Duo had decided to drop in on him, simply because Heero hadn't bothered to contact anyone for a month. Duo had started to look for him immediatly, knowing it would take a few more months (with luck..) to actually find Heero. Heero didn't make it impossible for other people to find him (Duo bet he could, though), just extremely difficult so that people who only wanted to met (or , possibly, kill) '01' couldn' find him, but fellow ex-gundam pilots could.
Duo liked dropping in on his friends now and again. He especially enjoyed visiting Heero, even though Heero basically ignored him for the entire time. Not that it matter to Duo all that much (although, to say it didn't hurt him in the least would be a lie.. and Duo Maxwell never lies), as long as he got to be around Heero. Maybe it was relaxing for him to be around Heero. Maybe it was just the challenge of trying to figure out what went behind that blank stare (because Duo knew there was someone back there, not just programming implanted by Dr. J). Whatever it was, he hadn't seen Heero in awhile, and he needed a 'fix'.
Being impatient, and figuring Heero would understand, when the teen hadn't answered the door, Duo picked the lock. If Heero really didn't want Duo in his house, then he should have gotten a better lock. Duo had peered inside, and, seeing no one, declared himself incase Yuy was just hiding somewhere ready to shot the intruder.
"Heero!" he called again as he entered the apartment and started looking around, making sure the other pilot wasn't just igoring him as he always did, or was too busy doing something else to notice, or whatever the case might have been. Still no answer. Duo silently ventured further into the apartment, and his eyes fell upon a door slightly ajar. He swung it open, and discovered a vaccum cleaner. Sighing, he closed the door the the closet and pivoted on his right foot, eyes scanning the area for another door. When he saw it, he dashed over to it, quite eager to see Heero. Duo wasn't very patient, so he flung the door open without further thought.
Duo blinked. Heero definately there.... but something wasn't right. His brain took an eternity to piece together things logically. Heero, skin pale, body unmoving.... A bottle.. clear.. orange... the type perscription drugs came in. Empty.
"Heero!!" In an instant, Duo was at Heero's side, one hand scooping up the discarded bottle, other darting out to find Heero's pulse... if he had one. One glance at the label of the bottle and his suspicions were confirmed. Powerful sedatives.. taking three of the pills could be risky... and Duo was certain that there'd been a hellvalot more than that when Heero downed 'em all... Unless someone else purposely was trying to make it look like suicide (for whatever reason)... but considering Heero's other attempts, it seemed more likely he'd done it to himself.
'Why, Heero? It's over... we made it... why now?' Duo fought panic. He still hadn't felt a pulse. Screaming for help at the top of lungs, he hoped someone, anyone might hear him. Then he began CPR.
Duo was still fighting the panic building up in him. 'Shit, shit, shit.... is it 15 compressions to 2 breaths...? shit...' He searched for the right place on Heero's chest, then interlocked his fingers and put the heel of his hand there. Then he locked his elbows and used his weight to press against Heero's chest, so he wouldn't tire out quickly. Then he began to count aloud. It helped to chase away other thoughts, and to keep his rhythm... anyway, it was the way you were supposed to do it.
He heard noises upstairs. After he'd given Heero two breaths, and was checking his pulse again, someone came into the room.
"Oh my God..." It was a young woman, supposedly the neighbor from upstairs. Fortuantly, she wasn't brain dead, "I'll call an ambulance!," she followed her previous statement up with before Duo had to order her to.
Duo didn't know how long it took the EMs to get there. He just felt one of them pull him off, and they began to take over. The young woman... who appearently hadn't left the entire time... came over to him. They never exchanged words, they never shared more then the briefest glance, but the presense of the other comforted each in a small way.
Then there was a beep on the heart monitor. An eternity passed, but then there was another. The EMs wasted no time in getting Heero out of the apartment. A couple of the paramedics stayed behind, and one approched them. He asked questions, but Duo was way too out of it to make any of them out, much less answer them. That's when the other paramedic, the one with red hair, lead him away.
She began to examine him, and normaly he would have done his best not to cooperate. This time he just stared, thoughts racing through his head. Moslty he wondered why... why would Heero do it? Heero might be suicidal, but there always was a reason... what could have driven him to it?
What happened after that was a blur. A blanket was wrapped around him, and he went to lay down on the couch... that much he could surmise when he woke up the next morning. He was alone, in a strange apar--... then what had happened last night hit Duo. He jumped from the couch, paniced again, not noticing the aches in his body from sleeping on the less-then-ideal sofa.
He had to find out what happened to Heero, and where he was.
Simple as that. But first he need to know where to go.... that's when he noticed a piece of paper on the coffee table. It read "Dist. 9 Hospital, on 1st and 3rd, 1900". Duo recalled the girl last night, and guessed either she or a paramedic had left it for him. He grabbed the slip and ran out to his car.
~~~end
SnK: *Chibi Kilik finally appears calm, so she lets him down.. big mistake, since he imediatley grabs for a broom, breaks off the sweeping part of it, and runs at Hwoarang with the handle. SnK just sighs and tries to ignore them* Pretty boring, huh? I'd develop more of a plot, but I'm too tired and I've got too much to do..... Well, I'll try to make it better. I dunno how successful I'll be..
*theres a large crash in the background, and Chibi Hwoarang can be heard saying "You broke the bookcase! You broke the bookcase! You broke the bo-- Agh!!!" he dodges the flying dictonary and runs outta the room , Chibi Kilik not far behind, broom handle still in hand*
SnK: *continues to ignore them.. it was for the best* Reviews are greatly appreciated. If people encourage me, the more incentive I have to write, and then you'll defenitely get another part....
Shinigami no Kamikaze: Thankees, Kilik-chan (he's assisting me today)!! This fic was written 'cause I need to freaking post something! I've got the starts of about five fics, and I'm stuck in every one! So, I don't care how much this one sucks, it's gettin' tossed out there.
Chibi Kilik: A friendly reminder, this fic contains shounen ai, angst-ish, and cussing.
*Chibi Hwoarang pokes his head around a corner* You're such a puppet, Kilik!
SnK: *grabs Chibi Kilik by his collar before he can go tear out Hwoarang's voice box* Well... hope you enjoy...
Here Then Gone Part 1
by Shinigami no kamikaze
It was so easy to go around in a half-drugged daze. To use kill time by using the pills to send him into dreamless sleep. There wasn't a need for him anymore. Not a single soul needed him.
He did it so he couldn't feel. He was trained not to feel, but the people whom he'd fought with and met during the war, coaxed those feelings out of him. The incorrigable personality of Duo Maxwell was often the leading cause of the outbreak of emotion. Emotions to which he was so unfamiliar with...
They used to be... pleasant. He didn't undersatdn them, but they were pleasant. Each time the American's smiled, it sent an enjoyable, indescribable trill down his spine, especially if that smile was directed at him. He never let Duo know it. He'd been trained to disguse any weakness, and confusion was definately a weakness. He still wasn't sure why it happened.
But when he'd left the other Gundam pilots to find themselves a niche in society, his newly revived emotions had begun to ache. They knawed at him, and he couldn't make them stop. It wasn't like disease.. he would have a better idea of what to do if it were that simple. It was just an empty feeling.
Not knowing what he should do for a living, Heero'd simply rented out this apartment and lived leeching money from places that could afford it to support him. There was nothing for him to do. He'd always had a mission, but now that it was over... the was no one to tell him what to do. No one to give him direction, to fill that newly formed nagging hole in him that desperately wanted to be filled.
But seditives and painkillers could help make it better. They were temporary fixes to a swiftly worsening problem. Some relief was better than no relief.
Then it finally came to him. A permenant solution to his dilemma. He'd always been ready to die before, why not now? The peace that had settled over Earth and space was stable enough to survive on it's own. If not, Wufei and the Preventers were skilled enough to keep things together. There really was no need for him to suffer anymore.
Heero picked up the bottle of sleeping pills. They were within easy reach. It wasn't like anyone would find him soon enough to save him, so, there was no need to use his gun. Without further thought, he twisted off and threw aside the cap, emptying the contents of the bottle into his mouth. Then he closed his eyes and began to sink into oblivion.
***
"Heero...?"
Duo had decided to drop in on him, simply because Heero hadn't bothered to contact anyone for a month. Duo had started to look for him immediatly, knowing it would take a few more months (with luck..) to actually find Heero. Heero didn't make it impossible for other people to find him (Duo bet he could, though), just extremely difficult so that people who only wanted to met (or , possibly, kill) '01' couldn' find him, but fellow ex-gundam pilots could.
Duo liked dropping in on his friends now and again. He especially enjoyed visiting Heero, even though Heero basically ignored him for the entire time. Not that it matter to Duo all that much (although, to say it didn't hurt him in the least would be a lie.. and Duo Maxwell never lies), as long as he got to be around Heero. Maybe it was relaxing for him to be around Heero. Maybe it was just the challenge of trying to figure out what went behind that blank stare (because Duo knew there was someone back there, not just programming implanted by Dr. J). Whatever it was, he hadn't seen Heero in awhile, and he needed a 'fix'.
Being impatient, and figuring Heero would understand, when the teen hadn't answered the door, Duo picked the lock. If Heero really didn't want Duo in his house, then he should have gotten a better lock. Duo had peered inside, and, seeing no one, declared himself incase Yuy was just hiding somewhere ready to shot the intruder.
"Heero!" he called again as he entered the apartment and started looking around, making sure the other pilot wasn't just igoring him as he always did, or was too busy doing something else to notice, or whatever the case might have been. Still no answer. Duo silently ventured further into the apartment, and his eyes fell upon a door slightly ajar. He swung it open, and discovered a vaccum cleaner. Sighing, he closed the door the the closet and pivoted on his right foot, eyes scanning the area for another door. When he saw it, he dashed over to it, quite eager to see Heero. Duo wasn't very patient, so he flung the door open without further thought.
Duo blinked. Heero definately there.... but something wasn't right. His brain took an eternity to piece together things logically. Heero, skin pale, body unmoving.... A bottle.. clear.. orange... the type perscription drugs came in. Empty.
"Heero!!" In an instant, Duo was at Heero's side, one hand scooping up the discarded bottle, other darting out to find Heero's pulse... if he had one. One glance at the label of the bottle and his suspicions were confirmed. Powerful sedatives.. taking three of the pills could be risky... and Duo was certain that there'd been a hellvalot more than that when Heero downed 'em all... Unless someone else purposely was trying to make it look like suicide (for whatever reason)... but considering Heero's other attempts, it seemed more likely he'd done it to himself.
'Why, Heero? It's over... we made it... why now?' Duo fought panic. He still hadn't felt a pulse. Screaming for help at the top of lungs, he hoped someone, anyone might hear him. Then he began CPR.
Duo was still fighting the panic building up in him. 'Shit, shit, shit.... is it 15 compressions to 2 breaths...? shit...' He searched for the right place on Heero's chest, then interlocked his fingers and put the heel of his hand there. Then he locked his elbows and used his weight to press against Heero's chest, so he wouldn't tire out quickly. Then he began to count aloud. It helped to chase away other thoughts, and to keep his rhythm... anyway, it was the way you were supposed to do it.
He heard noises upstairs. After he'd given Heero two breaths, and was checking his pulse again, someone came into the room.
"Oh my God..." It was a young woman, supposedly the neighbor from upstairs. Fortuantly, she wasn't brain dead, "I'll call an ambulance!," she followed her previous statement up with before Duo had to order her to.
Duo didn't know how long it took the EMs to get there. He just felt one of them pull him off, and they began to take over. The young woman... who appearently hadn't left the entire time... came over to him. They never exchanged words, they never shared more then the briefest glance, but the presense of the other comforted each in a small way.
Then there was a beep on the heart monitor. An eternity passed, but then there was another. The EMs wasted no time in getting Heero out of the apartment. A couple of the paramedics stayed behind, and one approched them. He asked questions, but Duo was way too out of it to make any of them out, much less answer them. That's when the other paramedic, the one with red hair, lead him away.
She began to examine him, and normaly he would have done his best not to cooperate. This time he just stared, thoughts racing through his head. Moslty he wondered why... why would Heero do it? Heero might be suicidal, but there always was a reason... what could have driven him to it?
What happened after that was a blur. A blanket was wrapped around him, and he went to lay down on the couch... that much he could surmise when he woke up the next morning. He was alone, in a strange apar--... then what had happened last night hit Duo. He jumped from the couch, paniced again, not noticing the aches in his body from sleeping on the less-then-ideal sofa.
He had to find out what happened to Heero, and where he was.
Simple as that. But first he need to know where to go.... that's when he noticed a piece of paper on the coffee table. It read "Dist. 9 Hospital, on 1st and 3rd, 1900". Duo recalled the girl last night, and guessed either she or a paramedic had left it for him. He grabbed the slip and ran out to his car.
~~~end
SnK: *Chibi Kilik finally appears calm, so she lets him down.. big mistake, since he imediatley grabs for a broom, breaks off the sweeping part of it, and runs at Hwoarang with the handle. SnK just sighs and tries to ignore them* Pretty boring, huh? I'd develop more of a plot, but I'm too tired and I've got too much to do..... Well, I'll try to make it better. I dunno how successful I'll be..
*theres a large crash in the background, and Chibi Hwoarang can be heard saying "You broke the bookcase! You broke the bookcase! You broke the bo-- Agh!!!" he dodges the flying dictonary and runs outta the room , Chibi Kilik not far behind, broom handle still in hand*
SnK: *continues to ignore them.. it was for the best* Reviews are greatly appreciated. If people encourage me, the more incentive I have to write, and then you'll defenitely get another part....