Title: My Fall

Author: Emo Barbie

Rating: T

Pairings: Perry/JD

Turk/Carla

Keith/Elliot

Fandom: Scrubs

Summary: There are many things that may cause a relationship to go south, though most of the time it recovers...sometimes you find out that that relationship never recovers from the fall.

WARNING: This fanficiton is gay, not the fic itself of course, but the contents within is. So please, if you do not like such things, PLEASE do not read. Yes, you see that little back button up there? Yes that think that has an arrow pointing towards the left, yes, click it...QUICKLY! CLICK IT BEFORE THE IMAGES OF THIS FIC ARE BURNED INTO YOUR BRAIN AND YOU CAN NEVER RETURN TO THE INNOCENT MIND THAT YOU ONCE HAD! {If infact...you had one to begin with...which I highly doubt}

Relationships:

My Fall

There are many things that may cause a relationship to go south...

"Oh, look at that one." Turk directed at J.D as he watched a girl walk past, her hips shaking to an unheard beat.

Whither it's the fact that your husband keeps goggling over other girls...

J.D turned to grin at Turk, ready to agree with him, but his mouth automatically slammed shut and his eyes widened as they fell on a clearly enraged Carla.
He quickly turned and made a beeline down the hall, not at all willing to get tangled into what he knew came next; and as if on que a yelp sounded from behind him, most definitely that of Turk getting smacked by his wife.

Or you just can't seem to commit to it...

"Listen Keith..." Elliot started up, J.D. glancing up at her as he headed towards the two.
It had been no secret that Elliot had been on having troubles with her current boy toy. J.D however wanted nothing to do with what this conversation was about to embark on, after all it currently hit a little too close to home. He turned off course once more to avoid them.

Or...

"Priscilla!" The loud gruff voice halted the young doctor in his tracks. His head snapping up to find Dr Cox standing in the doorway of a patience room, staring him down. "I wanna talk to you..."

The fact that you've been trying to ignore said boyfriend for a week now, and it seems that it's really gotten onto the others nerves...

J.D. wavered on actually continuing on and heading towards the room where Dr Cox was now standing, his arms crossed across his broad chest, and a very suiting glare assorting his features; or turning back, and making the male behind him even more hot tempered. Unfortunately for J.D. He obviously didn't have a choice in that matter, because a large hand was on his scrubs and he found himself being dragged into the empty on call room to his left. The door was slammed shut and locked, and J.D had the opportunity to turn his eyes upon a steaming Dr Cox, his jaw clenched and his brows knitted together all holding together the fiery eyes of the older male.

"I wanna know why you're ignoring me, why you haven't answered any of my pages, my phone calls, my requests, and why you have refused to come whenever I call on you, because I swear, Newbie, if I get one more of your teeny wheeny little kids at my call again, I'm just gonna have to break 'um, and instead of them treating the patients, they get me, a doctor who's actually capable of saving the lives in this hospital and walking around with the god forsaken label that they actually call a doctor, having to wait on them hand and foot, and having to take care of them. Because who knows what kind of bastard would actually think of handing down such a high and respected label of Doctor, to such children, is beyond me. And-"

"Are you done?" Dr Cox was taken aback, his eyes turning to look at the male before him, blinking once, twice and a third time just to make sure that he hadn't imagined anything.

"Excuse me?" Dr Cox narrowed his eyes, his thumb moving up to flick the side of his nose before they moved to once again cross over his chest, the taller male leaning towards him, likely to intimidate him. "I don't believe I heard you right."

J.D didn't waver. "I said: Are. You. Done." He growled out between clenched teeth.

"Why, Nancy, I see that you've decided to actually speak. Now, can you tell me exactly were that said voice of yours has been this last week?"

J.D. Narrowed his own eyes in return and gritted his teeth. He hadn't been mad at the other at first, but being dragged into an empty on-call room against his will and suddenly being scolded his ear off, wasn't exactly something that was gonna solve J.D.'s issue at the moment. "And what if I don't want to answer?" J.D snapped back, clearly he learned his sas from Carla judging from his tone.

"Oh, is that so? Well I mean, if you really don't want to." Dr Cox stated as he uncrossed his arms, moving to flick his nose one more time. "I guess I'll just have to force that little voice of yours to work, now won't I?" The male suddenly stepped closer, causing J.D to instantly take a step backwards as if there was some kind of force propelling him away from the angry doctor. However it seemed that no matter how far he was able to get from the other, he was still always in hitting range of Dr Cox. And before he knew what was happening he found himself pinned against the wall, his lips suddenly captured in a bruising kiss and his body surrounded by hard muscle., any hope of escaping futile while being pinned against the other, stronger...toner doctor.

He froze for a minute, his mind trying to comprehend the situation before he finally kicked into action, J.D trying to push at the other, failing again and again at escaping. With no luck J.D finally decided to play dirty, biting down on the tongue that had invaded his mouth, Dr Cox quickly pulling away to cover his mouth with his hand. "Damn, Newbie, what the hell is wrong with you?" Dr Cox snarled.

"With me?" J.D asked in disbelief. "With me! What's wrong with you!" He snapped back.

"Hey! I'm not the one who's been stalking around this hospital in a tissy for the last week!" Dr Cox pointed out.

"Well, excuse me for not being overjoyed that my boyfriends kicked my out of the house so that his ex-wife and son can stay at his home!" J.D knew he shouldn't have done it but he pushed the taller doctor back, getting into his face just as he was doing so.

In retrospect he should of cared; Dr Cox knew that he should have cared about the fact that he had just been pushed, but at the moment, the words that he was being thrown at where way more important then a small push given to him by some wussy girl. "What else was I supposed to do huh? She has no where else to go! And he's my son! I'm not just gonna throw them out onto the streets!"

"So instead you kick me out? Couldn't you have just allowed her to sleep on the couch or something?Or what about the guest room? Jack's sleeping in there right? So why not her!"

"She is sleeping in there."

"Then why throw me out!"

"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT MY SON AROUND SOMEONE LIKE YOU!" He had obviously gotten sick of the arguing, the fact that this was all being turned into his fault, but the moment the words left the other's mouth, he quickly resented them.

"Around someone like me? Someone like me!"

"J.D, I didn't mean it like that-" Dr Cox, reached up to rub at his forehead.

"Then what do you mean!"

"It's just...I don't want the fact that..." He shook his head before sighing. "I don't want my son to decided things because his father chooses a certain way to live." He finally stated rather matter of factly.

"For god sakes Perry, he's only 3! It's not like he's gonna decide he's gay because he sees his father living with another man! He doesn't even know what that means!" J.D snarled. "And even so, do you think that just because you happen to have chosen a man as your partner, your son's gonna magically be attracted to men?! My father wasn't gay, and I know for certain that your own father wasn't!"

"Don't bring him into this!" Dr Cox shot back, he hated talking about the drunkard, even if for something as stupid as this.

For a second J.D seemed to calm down as he ran a hand threw his hair. "I'm just saying that I think it was stupid to have thrown out your own lover because your afraid that your 3 year old would notice something."

"Well, it may be stupid to you, but to me it matters a lot." Dr Cox snarled as he clenched his fists. However the sharp comeback that he had expected never came, instead he got a simple sigh of disbelief as the younger doctor shook his head.

"I'm done with this, I have patients to tend to." J.D muttered, a small feeling of pride in his chest, for once feeling like the mature one in the conversation as he pushed past the other, unlocking the door before he strolled out. All he left in his wake was a long silence and a still pissy Cox.

It's wrong to take out your anger on others:

"Hey, J.D..." He was offered a warm smile and an outstretched chart, the woman opening her mouth to speak to him.

But we all do.

"Not now Carla-"

In our own way.

J.D grabbed his chart from the nurse's outstretched hand before breezing past her and into his next patients room, Carla's smile falling.

Whether by ignoring others...Or

"Nervous guy!"

Simply by yelling at someone else...

"Y-y-yes, D-d-d-r c-"

" D-d-d-r c-c-c-o, just shut up and go find me my next patient's chart."

"Y-yes! Right a-away!" Doug quickly scampered off to find the chart. Said chart that was already clamped tightly within the doctor's hands. Still a smug smirk pulled at the corner of the other's lips as he watched the turmoil he'd sent the intern into.

And sometimes we even find us telling others the exact sort of advice that we need ourselves.

"What is wrong with you?!" Elliot turned to glare at the smug Doctor, the man's smirk falling as he turned a glare onto her. She, herself, was still peeved on the fact that she had just been lectured by her own boyfriend on commitment issues. "So, you and J.D got into a fight." It hadn't been that Elliot had been intentionally snooping, but it was kinda hard not to over hear them when she had been standing right outside the on-call room. Not to mention the simple fact that when one's yelling, their voice tends to carry fairly easily through a door or wall. "You don't need to be an ass to everyone. Get over yourself. So what if you got told off? It's not his fault that you can't commit to something. You shouldn't be ashamed that your dating a guy. It's not gonna be easy just cause you think you know him, and you can't just expect him to sit back on the sidelines cause you're suddenly feeling insecure. He's not always gonna agree with you on everything. Love's a lot different than just having sex. It's about understanding the other and knowing that you're not gonna be able to always get your way. IT's not about being able to stand the other, it's about not being able to live without them..." Suddenly she wasn't meeting her eye, shaking her head as if she was almost talking to herself as she stared towards the floor. "So what if they're a little pushy, and are always wanting your love...and trying their hardest to bring you down to their level...and forcing you to tell them OVER and OVER again on how much you love them, and always telling you how much they need you...and forcing you into these awkward-"

"Barbie." Dr Cox caught the blondes attention as he snapped his fingers before her face and gave a short whistle to snap her eyes back up to meet his. "Next time you think you wanna but your head into someone's problems and give advice, make sure you know exactly who and what you're talking about."

Elliot opened her mouth again, as if she had something else to say, but nothing came out; leaving the women to stand there, mouth agape as Dr Cox turned to walk off. "Oh, and Barbie-" He turned back to glare over his shoulder at her. "-it's not nice to listen in on other's people's conversations." He growled.

{Dr Cox's...inner thought...thingys...}

There are plenty of reasons that a relationship shouldn't work out...

Dr Cox scowled as his cellphone rang, a very unwelcome tune floating out from his pocket as he pulled it out, finding the devil's name flashing on the screen. He paused, his eyes narrowing at the screen before he finally answered it with a growled: Hello.

Like the fact that both partners are sooo similar that no matter how they try to work it out, they're Always clashing...

"No, I said I'd get them after my shift...no I won't leave work just to get them now!...What do you mean I'm being inconsiderate!?...No, I don't care that you've been sitting at home watching Jack all day, so, I've been walking around this hospital all day caring to several patients!...No I didn't get into a fight with-"

Or the fact that you feel ashamed showing the fact that your dating a guy instead of a girl...

There was a long pause until finally Jordan changed the conversation right back to the fact that she wanted him to pick her up a box of KFC. "Yeah, yeah, stop worrying, I'll pick it up as soon as I'm able...Yeah, bye."

Dr Cox stuffed his phone back into the pocket of his white coat. Turning back towards the counter to find Carla staring at him, but at that moment he didn't very much care, moving to pick up his chart.

"Was that Jordan?" Carla raised an eyebrow and Dr Cox gave a simple nod in return as he flipped open his chart. "You know, Bambi's really upset about that-" Carla's eyes narrowed all that much more as the older doctor's jaw clenched.

"Yeah, well does it look like I really have time to care about what a prissy little girl is throwing her little tantrum about."

Carla placed her hands on her hips as she returned the glare she was receiving from the other. "Why are you being so inconsiderate? Bambi's your lover, you should-"

"No." Dr Cox cut the other off quite quickly. "He's not my lover, nor boyfriend, or anything that may resemble something that has the label of love attached to it. He's a...sex thing, something I have to take my stress out on when I get home at night."

It was the first time he had actually thought that Carla could kill him, actually pull out a gun and shot him straight in the head. However because she didn't have one, and beating him to death in the middle of the hospital was probably to troubling for her, she dealt with a simple death glare instead. "Excuse me?" Carla snarled, her chest raising and falling as she tried to hold back the malicious feeling that she had suddenly felt for the other. Perry kept his own mouth shut, not daring to even flick his nose at that moment. But even the silence he had given her had apparently been the wrong answer because suddenly she was going off on him in Spanish and god knows what she was saying...

and then again, there's always the fact that your afraid of the commitment that you may cause...and so instead of labeling them as someone close, you distance yourself and call them the most derogatory name you can think of...and most times out of not...you end up getting told out by someone you should have never say anything to, to begin with.

"You know loving someone doesn't just mean you want to be with them, it means that you don't care what people say, you're going to do whatever it takes to stay together. It's like your accepting a commitment that you're never going to run away from, and it changes your life. The thing is, it's up to you whether that change is for the better or for the worse. And if you can't make that decision, and if you can't even admit, to yourself that your attracted and in love with Bambi, well then I don't think you deserve to have him at all. " Carla pushed a long delicate finger into the Perry's chest as she leaned forwards to growl into his face.

He didn't say anything back, he simply blinked, as if finally...something had snapped into place, and he had just figured out some long saught out puzzle.

...And sometimes you may just realize that even though you desperately want that relationship to work...you may actually just be the one ruining it.

{Back to J.D's}

"So, Bambi..." Carla sat a small white bag in front of J.D, the male barely looking at it as he sat on the break room couch. The doctor had taken a break for lunch, the only thing was was that he hadn't left the break-room to actually eat yet, in fact his lunch break was probably way over by now. Luckily for him however, no one seemed to care, and as he opened up the bag that Carla had placed in front of him he found a enticing slice of chocolate pie. His face lit up just the slightest as he finally turned to give Carla a small smile. "It's not the healthiest choice, really, but...I thought it would probably be more appetizing then the corn beef that they were serving today."

"Yeah...thanks." J.D nodded as he took a bite, his smile growing ever the slightest.

"So, are you feeling a little better?" Carla elbowed him with a soft smile, her tone hopeful.

J.D stared down at the pie for a moment before finally sighing, closing the lid of the container before placing it down onto the table before him. "You know, I don't see why my relationships never work out. I mean, for once I actually thought that this was gonna be the one, you know? I thought...I had finally found a relationship that works for me." J.D turned to stare out the window, a frown pulling at his lips. "I kinda though...I don't know, like...we completed each other..."

Carla's eyes shifted down towards her feet before she moved, placing a comforting hand onto the back of the young doctor. "Bambi, it's only a little fight." She smiled at him before giving a small chuckle. "Why the next thing you know, Jordan's gonna be on tossed out onto her ass like all the other times, and you'll be running back to him like that happy little puppy we all see you as." Even if she had just heard for herself what the other doctor had to say about them, and indeed at the moment felt that Perry didn't at all deserve to get anything like that from her Bambi...she wasn't about to tell J.D anything of that. He already looked too beaten down to recieve any more crude or dismaying news today. She couldn't bare it if J.D actually truly broke.

"Bambi, it's only a little fight, why the next thing you know Jordan will be outta there and you'll be back in his arms in no time." Carla elbowed the younger doctor with a large grin, even if she had just heard from herself what the other had said, and indeed at the moment felt that the other doctor didn't deserve to get anything like that, she wasn't about to tell J.D anything like that. He already looked to beaten down to receive any more crude or dismaying news today.

"Yeah..." J.D returned the smile, but it wasn't nearly as wide. "I guess I'm kinda over reacting, huh?" He sighed, reaching up to run a hand through his hair, before quickly moving to try and fix it back into its usual "perfection". He turned back to look at carla. "I mean...he's really only trying to look out for his kid, right?" The pie was once again in the doctor's hand and he was munching away at the desert, as if he didn't have a care in the world, but his voice stated otherwise. "So..." J.D took a giant spoonful, shoving it into his mouth and not waiting to finish it before speaking to Carla. "How are you and Turk doing?"

Carla's face quickly fell at the topic change, her eyes shifting away from the other as she let out a sigh. "I don't know..." She shook her head. "I just...I'm not sure what to do, J.D," She turned back to look at him. "It's just that I feel Turk...I feel as if I'm not good enough, you know?" She shook her head. "Turk's always looking after all these other girls, and I guess...it just feels like he doesn't even notice when I change for him."

"Carla-" J.D shook his head as he put back down his pie. "What do you mean not good enough? You're beautiful!" He threw his hands up. "You'd out charm those girls anytime! I mean, you are the woman that he married, after all." J.D was at least relieved to have received a smile from his comment, so he pressed on. "So what if a girl happens to catch his eye every now and then? You know they'll only be on his mind for a second, cause I guarantee after their gone, you'll be the only woman on his mind."

"But that's the thing, J.D, he's still looking after other girls!" Carla's smile fell again, but J.D wasn't giving up.

"So what? He's a guy, Carla, that's what guys do. Even I do it, and I'm dating a guy." He pointed out.

Carla let out a giggle as she shook her head. "Yeah, I guess so. Even a girl can catch a gay guys eye at times." Carla winked at him.

"Hey! I'm not totally gay! I've dated girls before." J.D pursed his lips in annoyance.

"Uh-huh." Carla rolled her eyes as J.D turned and dug back into his pie with glee. At least now his mood seemed to have raised up a bit. She knew she would always be there for the kid, even if her own lover wasn't.

I think I finally figured out what love is...

J.D had ended up talking to Carla more about his problems then hers in the end, and in truth, Carla hadn't seemed all to displeased about it. In fact, she had seemed quite...happy. Oddly. Like it was what she had been waiting for to happen. So, after another week of trying to return to normal, J.D had gotten into the habit of thinking a lot in bed, not that that was all that abnormal for him, but he had gotten out of the habit for the most part. Well...other then when he was in bed with Perry, and even then most of his thoughts were more directed towards the better then for the worse. Of course his current train of thought could lean either way:

The idea of what loving someone really was all about...

Love...is something that has to be shared, it's not just a one way thing. If you love someone, in order for things to truly work out, they have to love you back...because if they don't...the love crumples and dies. And hopefully, it's only the emotion that dies...and not the lover themselves. But none of that was going to happen to me. Because surely, Perryloves me...right?

Perry had been acting weird lately, but...he just didn't want his son to grow up to become like him...because of him. He just wanted his son to make his own choices in life...right?

If you feel that you aren't loved as well...would you feel as if you were ready to die...? That you..would kill yourself?

But J.D was loved back...he was certain of it. So there was no reason to even be on this train of thought...even though it had been odd; Perry had been acting really strange as of recently. Even with J.D trying his hardest to return back to normal, as he had thought Perry had wanted, it seemed that now the other was the one avoiding him! J.D had barely even had a real conversation with him since all this had gone down, but still, he was sure that this was all gonna blow over, because tomorrow Jordan would be officially leaving, and once she was gone Dr Cox would be calling him up, telling him it was all fine and dandy and that he could come back home...that he could stop having to take up his old room, which he was certain Carla and Turk would be happy about; it seemed that the pair had actually gotten used to him not living there anymore, which he was fine with as well, when it meant he would be finally sleeping in the arms of his lover once again.

There are a lot of things in a relationship that can go wrong...but just like I was always told, when something goes wrong, somewhere along the way it will eventually go right again.

"Hey...Keith..."

Like when you finally decide that you may just be ready for that commitment that you were always afraid of...

Elliot bit at her bottom lip as she turned to stare up at her boyfriend, her hand reaching out to take his, giving it a squeeze as she coyly smiled up at him. "I think...I really wanna make something out of this..." She gave a real smile as her boyfriend returned her grin.

Or when your lover decides that he will work on his problems, and your willing to deal with them all the same...

"Carla Turk Espinosa," Turk reached out to take his wife's hand, the woman unable to keep the smile that crept upon her face at the action, no matter how "mad" she was supposed to be at her husband at that moment. "I promise, from here on out, I'll try not looking at other girls." Turk moved to hold up two fingers in a scouts honor, his wife letting out an small sigh of happiness and a verbal "aw" as she leaned in to kiss him. But as her lips met his, she realized there were no lips there and instead she was kissing his cheek, her eyes shot open to find her husband's head turned, his eyes focused on a passing nurse's ass.

"Turk!"

...Even if it will take some time...

"OW! Woman!"

...but sometimes...

J.D sighed as he flipped open his phone for the twentieth time in a row, only to stare at a blank home screen. He was dressed in slacks and a t-shirt, his shift having ended over three hours ago. However, he was certain that his boyfriends had ended almost an hour before his own, and yet still...as he stared up as his blank screen, laying in his bed, waiting...waiting...

Waiting, for his call...

...You find that, sometimes, a relationship...just never recovers from that fall...

The call never came.

After rewriting this for the twentith time I'm here to finally say there may be some hope for this fic! Maybe...

However Reviews are LOVED! I'm thinking about making a sequel but I don't know...I was thinking about something with a more...happier ending you know. Of course, unfortunately I never make any sequels or anything if I don't get enough inspiration. (And I never seem to finish a single story either) But please feel free to leave me some feedback! It's alot more motivating to know people actually want to see more ;)