I can't believe it. I can't believe we just did this. I promised myself that I wouldn't do this again for a very long time. But I didn't want to lose him. If I ddn't do it he would go find someone else. Then where would that leave me? He already slept with Adrian, who else was he going to find. Lately he has been acting weird around her. I have been wondering what was going on between them. Now is not the time to think about it. I leave for music camp tomorrow and I wanted to make sure he remembered me while I was gone.

"Amy? Why are you so quiet?" Ben asked turning towards her in his bed. "Are you ok?"

"I…I'm fine. I need to go. I need to finish packing." Amy stood up with the bedsheet wrapped around her as she gathered her clothes and made her way to the bathroom in Ben's room. Ben's father and his new wife Betty had been on a two week long honeymoon and would be back in a day or so.

"Oh…ok…are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine. It's just…never mind"Amy said walking back out of the bathroom

"No Amy, what is it you can tell me." He said sitting up in the bed.

"Oh nothing, just don't forget me when I'm gone."Amy said as she walked towards the door.

"I could never forget you Amy, have fun at music camp…I love you Amy"

"I…I…I have to go" She quickly made her way out of the house into her SUV. She put the keys in the ignition and robotically drove back to her home. It was Ricky's weekend with John, so she could get ready for camp and just forget about the whole thing.

She pulled into her driveway and shut the car off. She put her face into her hands and leaned into the steering wheel and started to cry. She couldn't believe she actually slept with Ben. She thought it was the only way to keep him. She jumped as she heard a knock on her window.

"Amy are you ok? What's wrong?"

"Ricky what are you doing here? This is your weekend with John."He said as she quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and stepped out of the vehicle.

"I wanted John to see you before you left for New York in the morning. What happened? Are you ok?" Ricky said moving the bangs from her face and behind her ear. He had done this so many times before. Why was it that everytime it sent chills down Amy's back.

"I'm fine. I just…I just made a mistake." She walked toward the kitchen entrance to her house and put her keys in the door. They both walked in and made their way to the living room. Amy's family was all out for the day and she was home alone, exept for Ricky and John.

They both sat down on the sofa and Amy took John in her lap. "Amy, what are you talking about? What happened? You're not telling me anything."

"Ricky, don't worry about it. I probably should not be talking about it with you anyway." She said coldly.

"Fine, whatever you want. So, do you need help packing?" He asked trying to change the subject.

"Yeah, I still have some packing to do. You can bring John up and sit with me while I finish." They made their way up the stairs towards her room. Clothes were scettered over the bed and a suitcase lay on the floor open half filled. "I am really going to miss John while I'm gone but I know you can take care of him."

"He is going to miss his mommy, aren't you John?" He said giving his son a kiss on the head. "But this will be a great opportunity for you. And there are other girls there who are in the same situation as you." Amy started to cry again "I'm sorry did I say something to upset you?"

"I…I...I had sex with Ben!" She proclaimed as she flopped on the bed sobbing.

"What! I thought you told him you didn't want to. Did he pressure you?" Ricky was fuming.

"No, No, It was just, he slept with Adrian, who else was he going to find if I didn't give it to him? I don't want him to cheat on me while I'm in New York, or go back to Adrian. They have been acting strange lately, since the wedding."

"You didn't have to do that Amy. If he can't be with you without that then he's an idiot."

"You can't really talk; you cheated on Adrian all the time."

"I know but that was different. Ben is supposed to be a nice guy; I'm not that nice of a guy. He has not been acting very "nice" lately." He said using air quotes when saying nice.

Amy looked up at him. "That's not true, you are a nice guy. Yeah, you can be a player, but you are a great father and you are a good friend to me." She took his hand to sit next to her. Ricky put his arm around her shoulder and Amy laid he head on his shoulder. "How did we get here? How did our lives get so messed up?"

"I don't know about you, but I like my life. I have a wonderful son and he has a great mom. I know it could have been better curcumstances, but it all turned out ok."He put his hand under her chin and lifted her head to look straight into her eyes. "I'm sorry that it didn't work out that well with Ben, but don't let anyone treat you less than what you deser…." His sentence was cutoff by Amy's lips on his. Ricky placed John on the bed behind them with their lips still together and placed both hands on either side of her face. Amy slightly opened her mouth to make their kisses wider. She didn't know why she was doing this, but as he was talking she got this overwhelming urge to kiss him. She was sick of everyone else deciding what she would do, she took charge this time and it felt really good.

Ricky was shocked. He couldn't believe they were kissing, for the third time since they had met. He had told her father that there was no heat, but he lied. Everytime their lips met there was heat. He just didn't want to make things more complicated. Amy pulled away with one last peck and smiled at Ricky looking into his eyes.

"Wow, what was that for?"

"I'm sorry…I shouldn't have…"

"No, it was great. You just surprised me, that's all." He took her hand and looked into her eyes.

"I just couldn't help it. It just felt right." She stood up and made her way towards her closet and started going through more clothes and putting them in the suitcase.

"Amy, do you have feelings for me?" He said picking up John again as he stayed seated on the bed.

"Why, do you have feelings for me?

"I asked you first…"

She paused for a moment and looked down at the floor. "Um...I guess...yeah, I do. I mean ever since John's birthday when I stayed at your house I thought about how perfect everything would be if we were together, you know, as a family."

"I have to say, I have thought about it too. I have had feelings for you for a while but I just didn't want to admit it. When I offered to help you practice kissing, I admit it was just an excuse to kiss you. I really enjoyed it." He looked down at the floor and then to John.

"It was the same with me. I really liked it too." She smiled embarrassed.

"What about Ben?"

"What about Ben, he cheated on me and then slept with Adrian to get back at me for our kiss. He doesn't love me; if he did he wouldn't have made me feel like I had to have sex with him to keep him around." She said shaking her head. She started zipping her suit case as she heard the door open. "We better get downstairs, my family is home, I don't want them to think…you know." They made their way down the stairs just as her mom and dad closed the door behind them.

"Ricky what are you and Amy doing upstairs alone?" Anne said sternly.

"I just thought Amy might want to spend some time with John before she left and I was helping her finish packing." He said nervously. Ricky picked up Johns diaper bag from beside the front door and made his way out. "Bye Amy, I hope you have a good trip."

"Amy, you know you shouldn't have had Ricky upstair while no one was here. We cannot have a repeat of almost 2 years ago." She said tossing her purse and keys on the entrance table.

"Mom, don't worry, that will not happen again. I promise." Amy stomped back up to her room to finish packing and to go back to sleep.

Hope you like the story...I wrote before the Season Premier so it was what I thought it should be like. Please review!