Torn
A/N: This one just came screaming at me when I was getting ready a few days ago and called out to be written.
Enjoy!
P.S- No specific timeframe, but I'm still using elements and events from the show. All belongs to Chris Carter; I'm just borrowing his imagination to satisfy my own.
Chapter 1
"Mulder, I..." Scully began, not really sure how to start. They were at the annual FBI ball, in the middle of the dance floor and this was the moment she had chosen to tell him that she wanted to take their partnership to the next level. It was then that Mulder cut her off just as a woman walked up behind him and he laced his arm around her back.
"Scully, I want you to meet someone. This is Michelle; she's my girlfriend."
Scully didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Even though she felt like she had hit a ton of bricks at 100mph, she wanted to laugh and punch the crap out of him for winding her up. This had to be a joke.
She thought her legs where going to give way beneath her as she quickly extended her arm to meet the open hand of Michelle. "Hi Scully, I've heard so much about you."
Scully just nodded; dumbfounded, all the while thinking 'I've heard fuck all about you.'
Michelle whispered something to Mulder and then headed toward the bar. Mulder watched her leave like a love sick puppy and then put his arm around Scully. He sighed deeply, not once averting his gaze from Michelle while he gently squeezed Scully's shoulder toward him. She kept her gaze forward the whole time, afraid if she made eye contact that she might burst into tears right there.
"So, Mulder, a girlfriend?" She asked, trying to hide the annoyance in her voice as well as praying that her voice wasn't cracking. "How long has this been going on for?"
"Yeah," he replied, dragging out the word and throwing his arms up in the air in an 'i-don't-know-how-this-happened-motion.'
"I met her about 6 weeks ago and finally built up the courage to ask her out about 3 days ago."
Scully felt herself throw up a little bit in her mouth. Not only had she almost embarrassed herself to hell and back in her opinion, but she was hearing that the one person she trusted with her entire life had been keeping secrets from her for at least the last 6 weeks. She had to get out of there and fast, because she didn't know how long it would be before everything broke down around her.
Coming back down to earth, Mulder noticed how tense Scully felt under his arm. "You okay Scully?"
"Oh, I'm fine! I hope you'll both be very happy together." She almost whispered sarcastically among the crowds of FBI chatter as she broke from his grip and headed for the door, giving Michelle 'evils' as she turned around from the bar and began to head back toward Mulder. He knew something was up and he wanted to get to the bottom of it.
"Is she okay?" Michelle asked concerned as she re-approached Mulder with his drink in her hand. He shrugged and replied, "I need to go after her, see if she is okay..."
"Of course, I understand." Michelle replied, holding onto his drink and giving him a quick peck on the lips before watching him fly off out the door after his partner.
He got to the balcony at the top of the grand staircase and scanned around looking for Scully. That was when he noticed her walking down the left staircase hitching her floor length dress up slightly so that she wouldn't trip. He began to chase her down the stairs and by the time he got to the bottom, she was half way out the front door.
"Scully! Wait." He called as he fought his way through the crowded lobby and out onto the main street. He caught up with her half way down the block and gently spun her around.
"Scully, is everything okay?" He whispered gently holding her wrists in his hands.
She refused to meet his gaze and kept her head low, afraid that he would notice the tears that were threatening to fall. "Mulder, I can't do this now," She whispered back almost inaudibly. "I'm sorry." With that, she turned around and forcefully removed her wrists from his hands.
She kept walking, leaving him standing there in shock and confusion. He wasn't sure what was going on. He went after her again, this time catching her easily as she had only walked a few paces from before.
"Scully, you can't do what? I...I don't understand." He asked stepping into stride alongside her.
"This." She replied watching her feet and still walking. "Us. This partnership. I can't do it anymore."
Mulder was even more confused now. He needed her to stop walking so he could get this sorted out. "Scully, what do you mean you can't do this partnership anymore?" She kept walking. "Scully, would you just stop!" He was in front of her now, his hands on both sides of her waist. She quickly swatted them away and it was almost like a huge vein in her forehead popped as she lunged at him in a verbal assault.
"Do you think it's easy for me?" She replied rhetorically. "Do you think it's easy for me to spend as much time with you as I have done over these last couple of years to then discover that after trusting you with my life, that you've been keeping secrets from me? Do you think it's easy after everything that's happened to me; after everything I've sacrificed for you and the x-files to find out that you tossed me aside like trash for some brunette bitch who's only with you for a quick fuck? Do you think it's easy for me to spend every waking day with you, to discover I have these overwhelming feelings for you that I thought where mutual, only to discover you moved on and didn't bother telling anyone? I almost made a fool out of myself tonight by telling you I wanted us to take things to the next level!"
She was out of breath now as she had been ranting and Mulder just stood there with a mixture of anger, frustration, shock and hurt on his face. She'd never spoken to him like that before. He was quiet for a minute, biting his inner cheek as he just stared at her. Somewhere during her rant she had managed to make and lock eye contact with him.
"I never thought you wanted anything to do with me like, especially after I told you I loved you and you only replied with 'oh brother'. What did you expect Scully? Did you expect me to never be happy? To never feel loved? Is that what you're saying?" He was trying desperately to stay calm, even though it was evident that wasn't working.
"That not what I'm saying and you know that! You know what; I can't deal with this right now!" She was about to walk off again when Mulder spoke as she walked past.
"That's right Scully; run from this like you do from everything else." DAMN. Too late. The words escaped his mouth before he could stop them.
Scully's hand connected with his jaw; hard before she knew what was happening. His head swung to the side before he returned to look at her, holding his face. She bit her lip. "Don't you fucking dare. Don't. FUCKING. Dare." Her bottom lip began to quiver and tears pricked her eyes.
Mulder could tell she was hurting and all he wanted to do was wrap her up in his embrace and take that pain away. He reached forward to try and pull her into his embrace, but she just stated "Don't."
He retracted his arms and watched as she began to walk and then pick up her pace into a run down the street. He really wanted to go after her and make sure she got home safe, but he knew that was the last thing she'd want and he wanted to give her some space.
She was right though. He'd been a complete asshole and said things to her he didn't mean. He'd hurt her so badly; something he'd promised he'd never do and he needed to fix this.