"Finn, I can't. I don't know how you can't understand this."
It had been almost a month since Nationals. Since Rachel had turned Finn down in front of an audience of show choir aficionados. She's sure that his very public and unprofessional declaration of love it what had cause the loss of New Directions. It was baffling to the girl why Finn just couldn't accept her refusal.
She had denied him twice before he tried again on stage. She had walked away from an almost-kiss. That had taken her quite a bit of willpower, after the elaborate and so very New York date that he had planned for her. And once again, right before curtain.
She had been very clear that her career came first.
In the past year, Rachel was aware that she hadn't been herself. She had thrown herself into Finn, whether she was with him or not. she felt like she needed him almost as much as she needed applause.
New york was like a drug for her. She got a taste of the city, and what it was like to perform and do a show there, to see the bright lights. Have breakfast at Tiffany's. Sing on a real Broadway stage. There was no way that she would allow anything to hold her back from that.
Over the few days that New Directions were in the city, Rachel found herself thinking a lot about Quinn's words to her before Regionals. Quinn had told her exactly what she needed to hear, and it was so very true. Rachel knew she deserved more than to be held back by Finn Hudson. (In her opinion, no one deserved to be tethered to Lima by a giant of a teenager who's intelligence would never surpass that of a 5th grader.)
Rachel knew she was destined for greatness. Greatness she couldn't have if she was going to continue to feed this school girl crush on the high school quarterback.
"You were very inappropriate at Nationals, Finn. You shouldn't have tried to kiss me. You're quite lucky I was able to turn it into a hug, and make it look like a semblance of choreography." Rachel was attempting to walk away from him, but the existence of her locker made her stop.
"I don't understand, Rachel. You said you loved me. You were so heartbroken when we broke up. I broke up with Quinn so I could be with you!" He was trying to hard. Rachel would be lying if she said that her heartstrings weren't tugged slightly by his words.
He was adorable. That couldn't be avoided. But he was bad for her. Like the crocodile to Captain Hook. Water to the Wicked Witch. Celebrity gossip to Perez Hilton. She couldn't help but be drawn to his innocent smile, and his expressive eyes.
That needed to end. Rachel closed her locker and look at him. "Eat lunch with me tomorrow. In the choir room. We can talk some more about where our friendship will go from here."
It was obvious on the quarterback's face that friendship was not what he was after. But he didn't want to miss a chance to turn the offer of friendship into an offer of a relationship. "Sure. You won't regret it."
And with that. He sauntered off.
Rachel's last class before the end of the day was English Literature. They were reading Wagner the Wehr-World, by G. W. M. Reynolds, for some reason. She was sure it wasn't in the curriculum, but it was interesting all the same. It was then that she devised a plan. A thought. A way to get Finn to stop trying to hold her back from her dreams.
The small girl made it home in record time. She researched wolfsbane. She had heard that it was rooted in a real plant, and plants were the best way to do anything. If she stole anything from the Chemistry lab, the school would know. But if she made Finn sick with a plant mixture in their lunch tomorrow, no one could trace it back to her. It would be a victim of food poisoning, and perhaps she could get away from his emotional grasp after seeing him be violently ill.
Aconite was her best option. Used in folklore as a cure for the werewolf curse, it would, with minimal ingestion, make him sick enough that hopefully she wouldn't be attracted to him anymore.
In an hour she had all the information she needed, and she ran off to the craft store. The woman at the counter was more than happy to help a sweet young high school junior with an acute interest in botany.
She'd just have to make everything that night, for their lunch the next day. She texted Finn and told her not to prepare anything or bring money. That she would be making a friendship lunch as a peace offering.
Making the food wasn't difficult. Rachel made several ham and cheese sandwiches for Finn, knowing how hungry he got, and knowing that, with just the right amount of mayonnaise, the boy would absolutely adore them. She then made one sandwich for herself, Peanut Butter and Banana, using vegan peanut butter, of course. Next came the beverages. Smoothies. Or rather, one smoothie. She'd be content with apple juice to go with her sandwich. But if she was planning on making Finn sick, she at least wanted him to enjoy it.
The smoothie took the longest. This was where she used her newly purchased dried Aconite. It had taken some research earlier in the day, to figure out exactly how to use it. Rachel could now say that she knew more than she would like to about poisoning, illegal narcotics preparation.
Rachel crumpled up the dried plant, and mashing it to the smallest pieces she could, and then used a rubbing alcohol to liquidize her formula. Perhaps she made a little bit much, and was slightly overzealous with her measuring, but the rewards would be worth it.
Or, that's what she told herself.
The next day at lunch, Rachel was waiting in the choir room, her meal all spread out for Finn. He was late, of course. Definitely not the way to a woman's heart, had she been offering it.
He blundered in, yelling at someone down the hall about some boy issue that she couldn't find it in herself to care about, and then sat down two seats from Rachel. The food was in the seat between them.
"I was beginning to think you wouldn't come." Rachel mumbled, picking up her sandwich, eyeing him curiously. Now was the time to act normally.
"And pass up a Berry-made meal? I remember your cooking, Rach, I wouldn't miss it. And.. well I wanted to hang out with you." Finn looked at his feet for a moment, clearly trying to be bashful, a look which caused Rachel to sigh.
He delved into his sandwiches, commenting between bites about how she made his favourite, and how pleased he was that she made so many.
"It was nothing Finn.. I also made you a smoothie. Strawberry Banana.." She nudged the thermos. This was just like him. How didn't she see it before. It was so clear to her now. He only wanted her when he couldn't have her, and now that she was even offering an, albeit tarnished, twig of peace, he was focused on how she best served his interests.
Rachel Berry couldn't have that. She needed someone to care about her. So thank her, and appreciate her. Someone who wouldn't hold her back in the kitchen to make ham and cheddar sandwiches with mayonnaise. Someone who would respect her and her dreams. Finn could never be that person.
He grabbed the smoothie and gulped the whole thing down. Gulped it. Not sipped, not drank gracefully. It was as if the whole thing was gone in a second. Rachel's eyes were wide. Never before Finn had she seen someone with such disgusting eating habits. Maybe that was something that came with living with two gay fathers. Or perhaps it was a Finn thing, because her very straight uncles, and even Noah Puckerman had better grace at the table than Finn Hudson.
"That was delicious, Rach. So about this... relationship. I know you're pissed about New York or whatever... like I don't see why because I took you on the most perfect date and you met that Pat Phone lady.." he trailed off for a moment before continuing. "But I know I can make you happy. I just know you like me. I mean.. I broke up with Quinn so we could be together!"
Rachel sighed heavily. The way he said it, he sounded like breaking Quinn's heart and making her upset enough to destroy her beautiful hair was a favour to her.
"Just.. Just stop Finn. I made this food, and offered lunch today so we could get off on a different foot." She didn't. "I don't want to get back together with you." She did. "Your charm won't work on me again." That's what she was afraid of. "And I just need you do accept that I don't think of you like that anymore." She did, but that was all due to change.
Finn looked at her much like a puppy might when you tell it to sit down and it doesn't get it. Head tilted to the side, an adorable expression gracing his innocent features... Rachel snapped herself out of her Finn induced trance, and walked away. "Just give me some time."
Finn nodded and finished his sandwiches alone. He scraped the thermos clean of the smoothie, and then left it in the corner of the choir room to give to Rachel later.
Only, there wasn't a later. By 2 o'clock Finn was in the school washroom with the worst case of the shits he had ever seen. He threw up 7 times in 15 minutes, all between trying not to shit on the floor. He was a pirouetting ballerina in the washroom stall, off the boys change room, alternating between sitting on the toilet, and kneeling in from of it. By 3 o'clock, Finn could hardly feel his face. It had tingled at first, but now it was almost numb. He figured it was from the throwing up.
At 3:15, he passed out on the floor next to the toilet, and at 3:30, the numbness had reached his heart, and it stopped.
It wasn't until 4 o'clock that the lacrosse team shuffled into the change rooms. Someone noticed a shadow in one of the stalls in the washroom, and knocked. When there was no answer, he peered under.
"COACH!"
Coach Beiste came running. She saw the boys crowded around the washroom stalls, and pushed her way through. It didn't take her long to realize the commotion, and pull the crumpled, cold boy out of the stall. She attempted CPR, but it was too late. Finn had been dead for too long. There was nothing there.
The school was devastated. Officially, Finn Hudson, star quarterback of McKinley High School Football Team had died of asphyxiation. Only one person knew the truth.
Rachel was mortified. She hadn't meant to kill him. Part of her wanted to go to the police, tell them what she had done. Tell them she never meant to hurt him like this. Tell them that, in all honesty, she hadn't thought of what she was doing as poisoning him.
But she didn't. After all, Rachel Berry had Broadway ahead of her.