Only my second Barson fic. ALREADY?! Wow, you can tell I. Am. Obsessed. Like OHMYGOD. You guys have no idea.
Um, anyway…I want to start off by saying that this could or could not be tied to my first Barson Fic: Sit, Drink, Smile. I guess it's up to you guys as the readers. You don't have to read my first one to understand this, so that's a good thing, right?
Now as with my first Barson one shot…I'm not sure if I made the characters too OOC, too sappy…etc. Olivia was a little easier to work with in my first one but as always, Rafael's wanting to piss me off. His attitude and demeanor are sooooo hard to work with. So as always, critique would be very helpful and very awesome to read. Thanks!
Also, let me know if you enjoyed this and if you'd like to read even more Barson done by me because I have quite a few more ideas but am not sure whether or not I'll want to post them, so just let me know. Again, thanks.~
I do not own Law and Order: Special Victims Unit; the rights belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. This is purely for entertainment purposes only.
Fear was not something Olivia was used to having to show. It had always ended up working out some way or other for her to just keep it all held in until she could break down in the privacy of her own home with no around to hear or see her.
But with this particular case, at this particular moment, she felt she would break if she didn't show her fear. It was utterly palpable; the detective was sure that the ADA across from her could feel it and not just see it written all over her face. She was almost positive not just because Rafael was incredibly perceptive, but also because she and the ADA had been seeing one another for over a few months now.
It was odd, Olivia had decided; that she'd started to fall for someone so callous and sometimes cruel with no thought of how his words would hurt the victim when he was meant to be after the perp. Maybe it was the way he'd slowly softened toward SVU victims that had helped her fall for him.
And Rafael could see all the emotions the detective was trying so hard to cover up from him. With a quiet sigh he leaned against the edge of the witness stand, looking up at her with a serious stare.
"Liv, you should know better than to try and hide what you're feeling. Let the jury see just what you went through."
Olivia wanted to retort with jaw-snapping words, but she bit her lip instead so that she could remain quiet and give a placating nod. She had wanted to say, 'you mean what Lewis did to me', but she knew that Rafael had only been genuine when making his comment. He wanted her to open up.
On edge and jittery, the detective seemed to be taking a lot of things wrong these days.
"There's no jury here," she finally managed to speak, inwardly wincing at how hoarse her voice sounded.
Rafael nodded, "Today there's not, but then this is just practice. Tomorrow, you will need to open up. Help me show them what a sick bastard that man is."
Olivia sighed and ran a hand through her short, choppy hair.
"Liv, do you need a break?" he suddenly asked, quiet and concerned. It helped Olivia's lips to twitch up ever so slightly.
"No, I'm fine. Honestly, Counsellor. Let's just get this over with," she said softly.
And so the ADA gave her what she asked for, continuing to ask her the hardest questions possible and push her to her breaking point when all he wanted to do was anything but.
When they both took notice of the time as well as how dark it was outside, they both decided it would be best to stop for the night.
"Do you want to come back to my place?" Rafael asked, slinging his jacket over his arm and grabbing his briefcase.
Olivia shook her head with a small smile. "Ordinarily, I'd love to, but with the trial starting tomorrow, I think it's best if we just keep things a little low for now, okay?"
She gave his shoulder a brief pat before heading out of the courthouse and leaving Rafael wishing that he had the guts to go after her. He knew she didn't really want to be left alone at all, but she also didn't want to seem vulnerable or weak; she didn't want someone to lean on when she knew she was capable of standing on her own two feet. And if Rafael went after her, sure they were dating now, but Liv could still be quite a private person, so there was no doubt that she would get angry at the ADA for treating her like she couldn't take care of herself.
Angry was one thing that he didn't want to make Olivia. God knew she was already upset enough and it would only get worse with the trial starting tomorrow and Lewis himself derailing her because he couldn't stand to stay in his seat and watch his lawyer make Olivia squirm. No, the beast had to do it himself.
So he waited a couple of minutes to give Olivia some time before making his way outside as well. It was quiet as he got into his car, and before Olivia, he hadn't minded the silence hardly at all. But now that he knew what it was like to have someone by his side, someone stronger than simply a friend, he realized how irritating and lonely the silence could really be.
And sooner than either he or Olivia had wanted, the night sped relentlessly forward into the first day of the trial, and though she was loath to admit it, Olivia felt panic coursing throughout her entire body before she even started up the steps to the courthouse.
Rafael was by her side the instant she made her way inside the building. "How'd you sleep?" he asked conversationally, trying to stay calm. He doubted the detective would calm down much, if at all just because he was attempting to stay cool and collected, but he wanted to at least try. For her sake.
"Okay. You?" she sighed.
"About the same." He took her gently by the arm, coaxing her to a stop and she gazed at him curiously. "Regardless of how things go today, I want you to remember one thing, alright? I'm in your corner."
She stayed silent for a few agonizing long moments and then nodded with her eyes just a little bit glassy. "Thank you," she murmured, giving his hand a squeeze.
Nodding curtly so as to stay professional in front of everyone mingling around them, the ADA stepped forward and felt momentary comfort at hearing Olivia's boots against the floor right behind him.
It didn't take long for the trial to start once they made their way into the courtroom. And once it did start, it was awful. Everything Lewis said and did…every movement he made, every fake smile he sent the jury's way…it all made Olivia sick and even more terrified than she'd been yesterday during the practice trial with Rafael. And the ADA was forced to see it all; forced to see an amazing woman and such a compassionate person be broken down by nothing more than a monster.
Olivia just barely managed not to cry but Rafael knew that she wanted to and he knew that she remembered what he had told her yesterday; to not hide anything from the jury. But she didn't want to give Lewis the satisfaction of seeing her tears and so she kept them in and that hurt the ADA even more than if she were to let those tears fall and free the pain from inside of her.
Afterward, once Lewis had been taken back to Rikers and mostly everyone was filing out of the room including the Judge, Rafael walked up to the podium where Olivia still sat, staring down at the wood directly in front of her.
"I'm sorry," he muttered.
"For what?" Olivia asked, finally looking up at him, though with tired and haunted eyes.
"I wasn't able to help you when you needed it the most. I promised you I'd be in your corner and from the way the trial went today, it looks like I just ran off and left you all alone," he hissed, obviously frustrated with himself.
Olivia shook her head, looking around to make sure that the few people still in the room wouldn't notice them before stepping down from the podium in order to take the ADA's hand and give it a gentle squeeze."You did everything you could, and that means a lot. More than you know."
Sighing quietly, the ADA wove his fingers together with Olivia's, at this point not caring if anyone saw them with each other like this.
"Do you want to come back to my place for a bit?" he inquired hopefully. It was still fresh in his mind how Olivia had turned down his offer yesterday, so he didn't know why he was getting his hopes up when he was 99.9 percent sure what her answer would be.
The female detective thought about it for a few moments before nodding with an exasperated sigh, but also a fond smile. "Sure. I mean, it's not like you're going to keep letting me say no, right?"
At first, the ADA thought that Olivia was allowing him to force her to go back to his apartment with him, but he relaxed at once when he noticed how her small, glowing smile remained firmly in place. It was the first time she had really smiled all day. And Rafael thoroughly enjoyed seeing her smile.
They walked out together, letting go of one another's hands to keep up the professional appearance of being only co-workers only but their fingers lingered close to the other's and they were so close that they continually bumped shoulders as they walked. But they were growing more content with allowing the other into their personal space as their relationship continued to flourish.
It sounded cheesy and so unlike him, but Rafael couldn't be happier than he already was.
"Oh, and Liv, I meant what I said this morning. Not just for inside the courtroom, but in general." He gazed at her with a small grin of his own. "I'm in your corner. Alright?"
Olivia swallowed thickly, only able to nod. "Alright."
The sun setting gold as the ADA led Olivia to his car seemed almost symbolic to the detective. Almost as if it were letting her know that all the bad things in her life would eventually fade away and the good would rise up once more. And as long as there was good coming, Olivia was okay with that.
Am I the only one who's not sure about that ending? UGH. I almost think it's too sappy and not that I don't love sap but I don't want to be too OOC with these characters since I love them and their show so much, you know? ORZ dudes.
Also, was Lewis remanded to Rikers during the Trial? I can't remember so I just wrote it that way because honestly, it sounds plausible and I want Lewis rotting in jail, so…you know.
I guess until next time.
-CuteVampireCollie-