Robber prevention
Black Comedy
When a robber attacks the house, you have various options with dispatching them. Perform repairs on your bathroom, connect the gas main to your toilet and feed them prunes. When they flush, they will burn alive, their ass turned into ash.
But what if you want to "experiment"? I suggest you give them a shower. Rig the shower so that it never cools down or shuts off, regardless of how many times the robber tries to do so.
3rd degree burns are assured as well as a round of screaming. Replace the food with sugar free haribo gummy bears everywhere and prunes. The robber will dash for the toilet, flush and die from the backblast. Then simply sweep up the ashes and dispose of them.
But wait there's more. Replace the toothpaste with glue and the mouthwash with poprocks. Then sit back and watch him try in vain to open his jaw as the rocks do their work. Offer him a coke, make sure it's still fizzy and extremely well shaken and run for cover. With luck, you'll survive with minor wounds. The house will be gone but you might survive. For best results, tell his robber buddies that you hid a stash of gold in the cellar, glue it shut and hand him the drink. Then run for the hills.
Its raining confetti! And various body parts. Oh well.
Hope you enjoyed the guide. (I do not claim any responsibility for missing and/or injured criminals)