This takes place near the end of the game, though not exactly in time with the events of the game. I wanted to write a jealousy love triangle between Cullen/inquisitor and Blackwall, so here it is starting. Please review, I would appreciate your opinion on where it should go! I do not own the image/characters etc.
He loved her.
Why hadn't he ever said it? Her eyes were frantically searching his now, the exquisite green blending with the fade rift now closing behind her.
He couldn't recall ever telling her; it was true, had been since he pretty much arrived at Haven. Had he just thought of her every day, loved her every day, and overlooked the fact that he had never said the words to her in person? How could he be such an idiot. After everything, he couldn't leave without her knowing that, without her knowing that through all his mistakes and lies it had all been to protect her, he done it all for her.
"Anya! Please, stop those tears and listen to me. I have...I have to tell you, "Blackwall, please don't say anything. You've been badly poisoned; bloody green lanky bastards were all around me I never saw, I should have had your back, like you always have mine. I'm sorry, hang on, we'll get you back to Skyhold, I can't do much from here..." For god sakes woman! listen to me." He grabbed her by the collar of her enchanters coat and brought her lips down on his, " I bloody love you with all my heart, I hope you know.." He couldn't keep his eyes open any longer, the poison began to seep its way through him. He had never felt such pain, what kind of poison was this?!
"Cassandra, help me lift him, quick! Hold on you! I'm not letting you get away that easy! "
That was the last thing he heard before losing consciousness.
A knock at the door made her almost topple off the balcony in surprise, she could always fall asleep in the strangest of places, but the lack of sleep over the last few days was definitely getting to her.
The inquisitor stumbled across the room sleepily, eyeing Blackwall on the way past. Still no change. A sigh escaped her lips as she swung the door to her quarters open to find Cullen looking rather bashful. Although he always looked that way.
"Ah, hello, I wasn't expecting you commander Cullen. Is everything alright?"
He took a moment to answer as if what he had planned to say was being re-rehearsed in his head.
"I...,m, I guess right now might not be the best time, just tell me if I'm bothering you, but I wondered if you wanted some company. Just to see how you are doing. No, that came out in the wrong order.."
Anya smiled for the first time in a while.
"I would love your company, Cullen, thank you."
He smiled, letting out a breath she didn't know he'd been keeping in and climbed the stairs to her quarters.
"I was worried, we all are...you have been up in this tower for a while now and of course we are all concerned for Blackwall's state but he's stable but you've barely eaten and had no sleep" He paused, considering his words, " Blackwall might not change for some time, they managed to extract most of it, but as to when he will awake...he wouldn't want you doing this to yourself." His voice lowered to a hush,
" Besides, you can't stay up here forever. Please come down with me."
His words brought her back to reality a bit.
"I appreciate what you are trying to do Cullen and I thank you for always watching out for me, but I have to be here when he wakes up, you weren't there when he was poisoned. If that's even what it was...I didn't get time to tell him, shit.." she trailed off, collapsing onto the floor from exhaustion. Cullen winced at being so useless to her right now, he wished there was more he could do. Quickly he scooped her up and laid her out on the sofa, looking over to the bed where Blackwall lay motionless asides from the slow breathing. No one had any opinion on what had entered his system, they had seen nothing like it before. Likely a weapon to try and target the inquisitor by going for those she loved the most. The arrow had pierced the weak spot of his armour and he went down in a matter of minutes. Cullen couldn't stand to see her like this, in this pain, he wanted to take it all away.
"Anya..."
The first time Cullen had actually used her name to get her attention. No title, a strange tone in his voice, almost a whisper, it made her turn her full attention to him.
"If I can do anything, I want to help." She had always held a fondness for Cullen, he was a good man and always seemed to be there whenever she needed him, as if he wasn't a busy enough man as it was, he'd always found time for her.
"I suppose you're right. Not one mage has any idea what it is, including me. So until then its a waiting game to see if he wakes and that's even unlikely, but I know its not what he would want, me brooding up here. He'd tell me to get my arse out there and keep fighting to find the bastards that attacked the inquisition and I'm going to do just that! Thank you, Cullen. "
Her smile alone was comforting to him, even if she was now recklessly going to throw herself into battle.
"Cassandra, cover me! Dorian, go round the back and I'll get in close! She darted towards the open fade rift, haunting memories of last time she was doing this came swooping back but she didn't let them falter her determination to close this one. Lifting her anchor towards the sky, it was all over in a few seconds. Being back fighting rifts and doing good deeds did feel right, like it was where she was meant to be, and it kind of took her mind off the fact that Blackwall lay brain dead, for all anyone knew, in her quarters at Skyhold, but...damn, she was thinking of him again.
"Anything interesting?"
She looked up to see Tevinter robes glistening in the sunlight. "Hi Dorian,uh...what?"
"I said, what were you just thinking about, your pained expression could scare half the demons away without lifting a finger "
"Oh. I'm ok really though, it just lingers on my mind how long he's been...sleeping for now...two months. Cant be normal right?"
"Well, no. It's also not normal that an unconscious man is better groomed than you right now. Sorry inquisitor but we've all noticed you've flung yourself into the tasks ahead to keep yourself busy but please, do take care of yourself dear. For Blackwall's sake, I mean, you'll want to look your best for when he wakes up."
She smiled a little at this. She had good friends around her, Cassandra had even ran after the assailant of Blackwall's attack but it seemed they simply disappeared.
" Look, inquisitor, I say you stop sulking about and just be patient. You have supportive friends who are willing to listen any time you know."
He winked at her and walked away. Yup, if Dorian didn't tell her how it was, no one would. She couldn't help but smirk a little and headed back with the others to tidy herself up.
"Sorry!" They exclaimed in unison as an accidental nudge from Cullen on the way past had made both commander and inquisitor almost go tumbling to the ground. Cullen was as red as the fur he wore.
"Inquisitor, I am so sorry. That was all my fault, entirely. How are you?"
"Good day to you commander. I kind of miss you using my real name, like you did the other night. But I'm doing fine thank you, maybe you could drop by later to give me an update on how operations at Skyhold have been getting on?" With that she offered him a genuine smile that warmed his heart and turned in the direction she was heading.
He hadn't had time to answer, not as if he would ever dream of refusing.
A chap at the door drew her away from the balcony and the setting sun to get the door for Cullen.
"You know, its actually open commander, I was expecting you. "
He smiled and simply nodded, but would never lower his manners as to wander into a ladies chambers without so much as a knock at the door first. Anyway, he loved being greeted by her. Sometimes it involved a rare hug, like tonight. It was a strong, tight grip she had around him.
"Thank you, I needed that."
Cullen was fixed to the spot in fervour for a moment before joining her on the balcony to watch the sun say goodnight.
"Operations are all in order, with the." he started but she cut him off.
"I know I am always thanking you these days Cullen and that hasn't gone unnoticed, i really do appreciate everything you do for me. I...why are you so formal all the time? I think of us as good friends Cullen, not just...trying to save the world together." A small chuckle emitted from both of them. He took this moment of comfortable silence to relish looking into those amazing eyes of hers, they were truly unique.
Anya broke the silence, "..was wondering if you wanted to go for a ride, at the end of this month, i need to clear my head, i think i need to get out of this tower."
His heart fluttered a little, as wrong as he knew it was with Blackwall lying only metres away unconscious, he couldn't help it. "Of course. I would like that, good idea. Will help you. I'll have Leliana look after Blackwall, I just pray he awakes..."she cut in before he could finish, "Why hasn't he woken up yet? Its like he's never...its been four months now."
That worried look that flashed over the inquisitors face, he hated it so much, he felt helpless to it.
" Would you mind if I told you a few stories, I think it might cheer you up a little."
So he sat with her, for what seemed like hours, talking and joking, her laughter wasn't something he was used to but he could definitely get used to it. It would end in a sort of snort, it was adorable.
Maker, he had it bad.
Damnit. What were you thinking, idiot! Being alone with Cullen, why had she asked him for that? They already had a tension you could cut with a butter knife and others would talk...not like that mattered. But she really had grown attached to the commander over the last few weeks. All this time usually spent with Blackwall was all of a sudden filled with Cullen and it made her feel a tad guilty. Not that she was using him, by no means, even if Blackwall was awake she would be spending time with Cullen, for she had seen so many sides of him recently and enjoyed his company immensely. It was what she was starting to feel.. that scared her. When they were alone, they talked with such ease. He had been a good support since all this began, standing with her throughout everything. Finding out more about the former templar made her feel for him, never pity but...something was definitely there.
"Inquisitor! Are you ready for our ride? I know just the place we can go." Commander Cullen looked very handsome this morning, as if a day away from the stresses of his military responsibilities did him the world of good. This was also the first time Anya had seen him in no armour. His muscles were very defined, she thought. Ah shit, was this a good idea?
"Anya, you're rather quiet, is everything okay?"
He seemed to call her different names but it didn't matter to her. Everything sounded good coming from his mouth..."no, no, sorry. I'm ok. Just a lot on my mind."
Cullen dropped the subject, sensing her body language was getting uncomfortable and that was the last thing he wanted to do. The trip had been fairly silent so far, it wasn't like the inquisitor. It wasn't like Anya. He had looked forward to this day for ages, what was wrong?
" Here. We should stop here. "
She had no idea where he had brought her, there was mist in the air, and a small wooden harbour that led her to the end of the water, and there they stood, looking out, hearing nothing but calm.
"It's...lovely out here Cullen. Thank you for bringing me here."
It truly was nice for her to clear her head, but impossible to do as well with him standing there. Nevertheless, her approval brought a large smile to his lips.
" It's just my small gift to you, I'd hope you'd like it. I used to come out here, to find a little peace. And there's this... " he held out his hand, a small coin lay within.
"I worry about you, every time you leave Skyhold, I long to be there fighting by your side, but I know that is not my place.."
This was an even gentler side of him she had never seen before, his eyes met hers as she took the small coin from his hands and put in the pocket closest to her heart.
"That's where it shall live, thank you, again, Cullen."
He looked up then, straight into her eyes, and closed the gap between them. "Anya, I...I. Desperately want to, but I know it goes against all that should, or could..."
They were so close, their noses touching tips, she couldn't pull away, she had been wanting this.
His longing for her had been torture. Too long watching from a distance, wishing, hoping for this moment. Their lips brushed and it set flames alight. It was a passionate kiss, one neither the inquisitor or Cullen had shared with anyone else. Full of yearning and truths and tongues. He wanted her and her him. It felt as if they were on fire, the only two in the world. He wouldn't let go of her, couldn't, wrapping his arms around her more, deepening the kiss. She pushed her body up against his, completely giving herself over to him. A small moan escapes her lips, the greatest sound to Cullen.
Then he heard the worst, someone behind them pulled out their sword, breaking them apart in an instant to face the attacker...
"Cullen, get your hands off my lady."
Blackwall.