Bitter Endings
"You don't want me?" You say the foreign words to yourself, and feel on the edge of laughter. The prospect of his undying affection towards you spontaneously giving out is inconsistent—he would practically throw a fit anytime you ever mentioned the lack of logic in his interest towards you. But not completely irrational, if you thought about it. Comparing your self to him was like comparing a lamp light to the sun.
You realize that he is completely serious, and that his harsh words towards you aren't part of some cruel joke. The sudden turn of events makes your stomach lurch and heart beat accelerate. For no apparent reason, the sudden urge to run your hands through his tangled mess of bronze hair, to coax him out of abandoning you, makes an appearance and you feel on the verge of tears.
You knew this day was coming, but, no matter how prepared you thought you were, it's still too soon. You knew that one day he would get tired of playing games, but, no matter how many times you told yourself to be strong, it hurts. But you can't show it.
"Is it because…because of…last night?" You struggle with the words, and the guilt over takes you for trying to accuse someone practically in your family when the evidence was as plain as the nose on your face. Of course it wasn't Jasper's fault. You had nobody to blame for your clumsiness but yourself, and yet, there you were, so quick to incriminate his brother.
"Don't try and paint a picture where it doesn't belong." The implications behind his word were clear—he was leaving you on his own accord, and what happened on the unfortunate night of your birthday didn't provoke this at all.
Or did it? It was no big secret that he was prone to over reacting when it came to your safety, and a near-death experience by one of his kin only fueled this trait. But, as much as you would like to believe that this was only a safety precaution taken to an extreme, you couldn't avoid the facts for long.
With sudden intensity, you march straight up to him and embrace him. You feel silly, standing there, holding an unwilling vampire in your weak, human grasp. Although he made no move to unlock your arms from around him, he didn't make any movement to return the gesture, either.
Your resolve melts away when you are finally able to peel yourself off of him, and you feel a single tear slide down your cheek.
"Leave." The words come out of your mouth without your permission, carrying an icy edge to it. The voice takes both of you by surprise, because it isn't yours anymore. The words belong to someone cold; lifeless. They belong to someone that can see the world clearly for what it is. The voice belongs to a girl that won't let herself be hurt by a monster. The word belong to the new you.
" Tell me. Just tell me, please. What did you ever earn in pretending? In lying? In hurting me? What did you earn in humiliating me?" your eyes are filled with tears of anger. Tears of anguish. And you let them spill. You feel vulnerable and weak in these moments. You feel unprotected. And you hate yourself for it. But, the truth is, you're happy. Happy for finally letting yourself go. Happy for finally letting yourself feel. Happy for finally knowing how screwed up life is.
He seems at a loss of words.
"It's..n-no…why…j-j-ust…" You laugh bitterly at his attempts to deny what you know is true. " Well, you get what you wanted. You wont have to keep feeding me your sick lies. You wont ever have to see my horribly disgusting face anymore. You wont even have to pretend like you give a damn. Go ahead and leave. But, don't ever even consider coming back. Cause when you do decide that you're making a mistake, it's going to be too late. I wont welcome you in like I did when we first met."
You turn on your heel and start to walk away. He's too stunned to talk- much less move. You make your way out of the forest, your stride confident and determined- to an outsider. But, the truth is, on the inside, your breaking. You're dying. You're hurting. You feel like somebody stabbed you repeatedly in the chest and just left you to die on your own. You know it's your own fault you're feeling this way- you exploded in his face. But, the truth is, you still blame him for everything that has happened to you. For how much you've changed. For how much you hurt. For how much you feel. But most of all, you blame him for giving you such happy memories. For making you love him. Even if you know all the memories are fake, you still cherish them. You blame him for letting you feel so much, for letting you live a life times worth of love in just a few short months. And you thank him for it.
I know the writing style is weird and can be confusing, but I did this so that it would be easier to picture yourself as the main character. I tried to avoid any names, but I did end up mentioning Jasper, so just imagine him as your brother in law, okay? Flames and compliment welcome! I'm not sure how many days passed between Bella's birthday and the day Edward leaves, so bear with me.
Disclaimer: We all know SM owns dem bitches..
Copyright: What do you think I'm going to say? That's right.
Reviews= Magic dinosaur that wont eat you in your sleep(:
No Reviews= Angry troll that enjoys eating Twihards.