Is it a bad sign if my Kingdom Key D keychain breaks at the handle? o.O Kid you not, the blade of Mickey's Keyblade actually broke away from the handle. I am now terrified that the Heartless are going to come after me for this abomination. XD
Have I ever told you that I love Re:Com – Reverse/Rebirth? Well, now you know. I freaking love it. This fic was inspired by the weirdness of Xion turning into Riku for a bit during her nightmare and my undying love for redemption-seeking!Riku. The first section's dialogue is taken entirely from Re:CoM, except for one line that's missing. You'll probably notice it when you get to it. Enjoy!
"I see you now... clearly."
There's nothing here when she opens her eyes—that's not true, there's Darkness here, it's just so hard to see, but even in the deepest darkness she's finding that there is light; there are hues of purple that emerge from the black, even stretches of mauve and blue, and around her the Darkness pulses as if it had its own heartbeat.
That's not true, either—it's mimicking hers, mocking her heart, for thinking it could conquer Darkness so easily.
The familiarity hits her with a jolt, sending her into a panic. I know that voice. Her arms fling about her, like she's swimming—she's swimming through Darkness, caught in a riptide and trying to breathe, trying to find a way upright, trying to push that voice away before it comes any closer. She only succeeds in the second.
"Lexaeus?"
"…" It calls a name she can't distinguish. Where is he? She knows someone's here, she just can't see him—how's she supposed to fight off something she can't see? "I can see your heart..."
Terror freezes her limbs, her blood, her lungs—can't breathe, why can't I breathe?—it's—"No... it's not." Lexaeus couldn't... "Darkness this foul could only... only be—"
"That's it, remember me..." How could she forget? The power, the rush, the sudden displacement, the horror, the anger... Let me breathe, I can't breathe! "Let me drift into your heart..."
"Ansem!" she chokes—the Darkness is eating at her already, slowly but surely, she can feel it...
There is laughter, rising up from everywhere, and no matter where she searches—above her, behind her, either side—she still can't see him, but Ansem is here, somebody help me, Ansem is here...!
"You called out my name, You have been thinking about me,,, You're afraid of the darkness I command," he mocks. "Good... The more you think of me, the closer my return draws." No, no, no, no... "And when I have awoken, I will take hold..."
There! The Darkness surges as another hand beckons, twisting into shape and forming...
Him.
"Your heart will be mine!" Ansem roars, eyes taking in the Darkness, arms stretched wide, powerful and threatening and too strong, he's too strong...
That poisonous amber gaze lowers on her, a malicious grin rising. One hand outstretched, he comes for her, flowing with the riptide that won't let either of them go. Desperately she pushes herself back, fighting off the hand that reaches for her as she fights both the riptide and Ansem, but it's no use...
Riku wakes up to a piercing scream, drenched in a cold sweat. "Xion?"
He forces himself upright just as Xion's cry ends; her breathing is heavy—like his, like all the air in the room disappeared inside whatever nightmare he had. "Xion, what is it?"
"I—" She grunts, and it sounds like she's clamping a hand over her face. "Oh, no," she murmurs; he hears a rustle of blankets a few feet from him, springs squeaking under an unexpected shift of weight, then hurried footfalls as Xion runs off.
"Xion?"
Well, there goes the last good meal either of them will have for a while.
Xion's bare fingers shake as she wipes her mouth with one hand, clinging to the toilet with the other. She supposes she should be grateful that they worked up enough munny to stay in a two-bed hotel room with a bathroom—but then again, if she hadn't fallen asleep in the same room as Riku, it's doubtful she would have absorbed another memory like that.
Cautiously she pulls her bare hand away from the toilet, pushes herself off the floor to lean against the counter and flush. Her skin is still clammy to the touch, but the electric light of the bathroom is already washing away the bad dream. She closes her eyes, tilting her head back while she waits for her breathing to calm. Hopefully Riku has gone back to sleep—she hates bothering him, but she suspects sometimes her presence alone bugs him—but she knows he hasn't. Whatever keeps him from abandoning her, be it pity or simply duty, won't let him rest until he knows that she'll be alright.
Not that what he's asking her to do is going to ensure that she'll come through with a smile, or that she'll come through at all.
With an impatient snort Xion turns to the sink, washing her hands in the cold water and examining the gloves on the creamy-white but yellowing counter for any suspicious dark spots. Finding none, she splashes a little water on her face and reaches for the glass cup next to the tap. She probably should check it for disgusting stains on the bottom, but the nasty taste in her mouth is getting a little old, and anything will work to get it out.
After a moment Xion spits the water back out, lifting her head to examine the rings under her eyes. They're getting dark enough that it looks like she's been punched in the eye—just what the two of them need, another unusual feature that begs for the world to notice their presence and help the Dusks track her progress. It's not that she doesn't sleep enough; it's that every night is filled with vivid dreams that aren't dreams at all, and she wakes up more emotionally weary than she was before. Xion restrains a groan but lets her head thump against the mirror.
"Are you alright?"
Instantly Xion's back straightens, muscles tensed in surprise. Over her reflection's shoulder she can see Riku leaning against the door frame, concern breaking through his stoicism. "You're going to give me a heart attack if you keep doing that," she sighs, shoulders slumping, and she turns her back to the mirror to smile at him reassuringly. "I'm fine. Sorry I woke you up."
"It's no trouble." Riku watches her calmly as she brushes her hair behind her ear—it'll fall back down in a minute, she knows, but it gives her something to do with her hands when she's avoiding something—before reaching over, closing the toilet lid, and practically collapsing on it. "What did you see?"
"Huh?" It's taking a lot of effort not to fall asleep on the toilet, but she's embarrassed herself enough for one night, thanks. She blinks up at his now expressionless face.
"Sometimes telling someone about a dream helps." At the moment Riku sounds kind and understanding, if a little tired; tomorrow morning he'll be harsh and impatient, like he is after every time they have a moment similar to this. "For example," he continues, "before I woke up, I was having a nightmare involving..." Riku pauses; his face scrunches together like he's blinking, then flattens to its usual look. Xion's heart falls. "Well, I don't remember what it involved—"
"I do."
The silence rings in her ears. She can't even hear the strange humming that comes from the electric lights. Callously she examines her nails, running the pads of her fingers over the rough, bitten edges. That must be it; there was no way that memory belonged to Sora, and Riku cannot remember his dream. She must have absorbed it, like his memory of Zexion on the Islands.
"...Excuse me?"
"You know I'm a Replica," she says calmly, staring into space at a crack in the tile floor to avoid looking at him. "I was created to absorb memories—specifically, your friend Sora's memories so that his awakening would be delayed."
"Yes. What does that have to do with my nightmare?"
Xion ignores him. "I'm also an imperfect Replica. It's easy to see that—I look nothing like Sora. Sometimes..." She takes a deep breath—can't breathe, why can't I breathe? She shudders. "Sometimes it's not Sora's memory I absorb."
"You absorbed one of mine?" Riku's voice has no tone; it's perfectly emotionless, like Marluxia, like Saix, like... like a Nobody.
"Yes. That's why you don't remember your nightmare; it was based on a memory that you were reliving, and I was able to take it in as one of my own." She hunches over completely when she finishes, elbows on her knees and head in her hands. Her black hair is just long enough to hide her face as she examines her feet through her socks.
The silence is painful, and her aimless thoughts can't drown it.
"I'm sorry."
Xion gasps to herself, raises her head to gaze at Riku in wonder. "What?"
"It can't be easy to watch my memories," Riku notes; it's impossible to tell what he's really thinking behind that blindfold, she reminds herself. Who knows if he really feels anything but but disgust for her?
"It's no worse than living Sora's." Xion looks down again—why is it so hard to say important things to Riku? Is it this way with all people, or just people you care about? Probably the latter, since Riku had no trouble at all telling her where "her" memories came from. "If it means that memory won't bother you for—for however long I'm still here, then I don't mind," she tells the crack in the floor.
There's a soft intake of breath—maybe their neighbor for the night is using the bathroom on the other side of the wall?—and a tap on the tile. "Xion..."
Not the neighbor, then. Through her eyelashes she glances up at Riku—or rather, at his waist. Apparently the tapping on the tile was Riku taking a step forward, not him finding a better position to reason with her. Before she can crane her neck back, he crouches down beside her, brushing the back of a gloved hand over her cheek, making Xion bite her lip to keep from gasping or sighing or... something. "Thank you," he whispers.
Why in the world is he thanking her? All the same... "You're welcome." His face is serious, intent, and Xion wonders, not for the first time, if he can't see through that blindfold or not. It feels like he's searching her for something.
"Come on. It's late, and we need to leave early." Well, that was quick. In less than a minute—even if said minute felt a bit like an hour, maybe two—he's gone from open and honest to distant and brusque. Xion smiles despite herself, grabbing her gloves from the counter and slipping them back into her pocket. Riku takes her hand in his to pull her up; since she's breathing through her nose, he shouldn't be able to hear her breathing hitch, but he just might see the blush, which she can try to play off as embarrassment for getting sick.
"Goodnight," she mumbles, ducking her head as she walks past him.
"Sleep well." If she'd looked up, she might have seen the smile that Riku was trying to keep from growing. Maybe someday she will.