Poland- The first in my Hetalia Essays series. Contains a dash of LietPol.
All characters belong to Hidekaz Himaruya; I only own the actual story/'plot' (if you can call it that) and the word 'propergood'.
T'was the first day back after the Christmas holidays, and the students of World College were all tired and grouchy for obvious reasons. Everyone in this particular class- we'll call it Class B- was pissed off because the teacher, Mr Karpusi, had set them a homework task on the last day before the break, which was pretty darn stupid because whothehellwantstodohomeworkduringaschoolbreakmotherfudgemuffin. The students' task was to write an essay about what they did over Christmas, but it had to be written with Shakespeare-style sophisticated and formal language, complete with propergood grammar, punctuation and spelling because that's how we roll.
Everyone, apart from a particularly rebellious student who went by the name of Feliks Łukasiewicz, handed in their homework. Feliks got a half-an-hour after-school detention and had to finish his essay within that time, but he managed to write it all in one-tenth of a second because that's how awesome he is. So Feliks got to go home hella early while Mr Karpusi spent the rest of the evening reading and marking the class' essays.
The next day, Mr Karpusi walked into the classroom, late as always, carrying a rather scruffy-looking piece of paper. The class fell silent for the first time in forever.
"So basically I spent all evening reading through your essays and they were all shite apart from this one", he waved the paper before the class, "and since this is the only decent one, I've decided to read it out because I've got nothing better to do."
Then he began reading out Feliks' amazing essay like the amazingly awesome dude he is:
'I consider my Christmas holidays to have been, like, rather inadequate. They commenced with me finalising and thoroughly checking the decorations and party food, before waiting until the twenty-fifth day of December, to open what few gifts I had received. This was all completed with the assistance of a particularly diminutive equine- my faithful animal companion who shall, like, remain anonymous. We continued unwrapping ridiculously boring gifts until I found an envelope amongst the cheap wrapping paper- it read simply, 'Open me'. Inside the envelope was a £20 note as well as a card that read 'If you could kindly come by my house around 7pm on Boxing Day, that would be wonderful. - Toris'.
The following day, I managed to arrive at Toris' house in approximately one-tenth of a second as a result of my amazing physical capabilities. Immediately after knocking on the door, it, like, flew open and I was pulled inside and pressed against the wall. My eyes then met with those of an unusually evil-looking Toris Laurinaitis. I had reckoned he was, like, about to exert some kind of excessive force upon my unearthly beautiful face with his fist, but he instead said unto me, "I would like to commence anal fornication with you, my dear Feliks". And so we did. So very hard.
I then spent the rest of the break overfilling my stomach with processed, fatty and overly-high-in-sugar-content food and drink. It was totally unhealthy and fattening, but I care not.'
The class remained in a stunned silence for a considerable amount of time, before Feliks was awarded a grade A-triple star (A+++) for his outstanding work. No one seemed to notice that Toris had ran out of the classroom due to overwhelming embarrassment. Feliks was proclaimed 'Star of the week' and became propergood BFFs with everyone, whoo-hoo.