AN/ This is a slightly old fic I wrote and when I was deleting useless stuff from my USB this fic saw the light. So basically I decided to write the mushy last paragraph, OH GOD, this is so fluffy I promise I won't write shit like this again. But I received a partially good reception taking into account this are OC X OC so enjoy if you can, so I don't have a beta, this is uncorrected, there is no grammar check here and I remember I saw a couple of horrible mistakes involving tense when I was proof reading from my phone and when I tried to edit them from my PC I just couldn't find it and for god's sake I didn't want to read the whole thing again, so here it is as I first write it. So this is confusing I know but I hope you guys understand and try to get the feels.
Yes this pairing is officially my OTP (OC AU) because I seemed to lost interest in Shippo x Hakudoshi *sighs* Yeah and my sister that actually helped me with the pairings hasn't helped me to recover any interest in the couple *falling out of love* yeah sorry, I just don't see the magic anymore *cries* buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutttttttttttttt on the other hand I have this pairing that seems perfect right now, perfect in a very stupid way like Halsey song Colors, "Your ripped at every edge but you are a masterpiece" love that quote. maybe I will be into SxH sometime soon
I don't know if this will be a one-shot or a multi-chapter one, could be any. Im sure I hate this. Fluff is not my style, Im so bad at romance so you've been warneeeeed of the crappiness of this shit.
WARNING: It has nothing to do with InuYasha, this is OCxOC
Alright so this is OCxOC Male/Male, that's YAOI, Genre Angst (always) and so much fluff I don't know if it's legal. Rate M for sexual situation (very light though) you've been warned, now fuck off.
ENJOY
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Youki's POV
I stared at him, I wondered and realized that after a certain point, his heart, filled with so many stress and fractures, could never be anything but broken. Perhaps it took me a while to see the vicious self-destruction he was indulged in.
Ranma.
I loved him, and I further loved the obscure side of him, I believed any guy could play strong and nice, but his demons are what drove me wild, his secrets, his utter pain, his darkness, that's what made us close.
The rain fell from the cloudy skies as we made our best not to shiver from the gibberish coldness, I did believe in the fierce devotion we had for the other, I did believe we were the perfect match, I just thought we were stuck in the most imperfect situation.
With his forehead against mine I could no longer veil my distress for his torment, this darkening day, where the clouds stepped in front of the sun, I found his verge of collapse. No longer hiding it, he heaved a breath and muttered in a raspy voice, "I'm useless"
"Saying that is." My fingers desperately wiped off the thick tears that rolled from his eyes, those eyes he refused to open for me. "You are perfect"
I zeal you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the dusk and the soul.
The warmth of his breath was all over my face, his hands were gripping the sheets underneath us, it was the first time he let me see him in such a brittle and fragile state, and I knew his ruptured self would not make his last apparition today.
He was terrifying, strange and beautiful, something not everyone knows how to relish in.
"Now stop crying, today can also be a good day" I cooed, trying to bring him to smile, he did but his tears didn't subside.
My hands slowly pulled him in, our lips divided just by centimeters, I felt my own tears welling up, I prayed he would let me get closer just a little bit more.
Until we have seen someone's darkness we don't really know who they are. Until we have forgiven someone's dimness we don't really know what love is.
His overwhelming misery, the crippled sorrow, the silvering duskiness, everything fused inside of me.
My lips pressed softly against his. Desperate, lovingly I pried his lips open, I felt smoothness and warmth, moisture and the familiar taste of cinnamon mixed with the salt from his tears, I could not ignore the sour taste of his melancholy, my hands rested on each side of his face, making sure to clean his tears away.
I would only allow him to breathe for a second and then our lips would press again, I joined our lips over and over again, more times than I can count, more fervent each time, more frantic, more desirous, more loving. I allowed heated puffs of air to form between us as I separated our lips slightly.
"You are perfect." I whispered, not even a second had his tears stop flowing.
His teeth gritted together and he grimly pushed my hands away from his face, settling distance between us "You can't imagine how unnerving is to hear that Youki" more aggravation tears spilled from his cerulean eyes and he could not handle it anymore, a hand protectively started to wipe his tears as they cascaded, head downcast, he started to sob.
Never in my life had my spirit felt as to collapse as it did the second I saw him breaking down.
He was the one I loved the most, now he gave me a box full of darkness. It took me seconds to understand that this, too, was a gift.
By instinct I reached for him and he did not push me away this time, his sobbing form came in contact with me and I could not help but encircle my arms around him as best as I could.
"You don't understand"
"Let me try" I soothed.
He didn't answer. He wasn't even making any sound as he cried, just hide his face in the crook of my neck, I could tell he would not settle any time soon as my shirt got wetter and my neck felt more humid every minute it passed.
I understood how miserable he felt, how helpless and flawed he thought he was. He could not be more inaccurate, he could not.
I loved him.
He knew I did.
And he didn't understand it.
It didn't matter if he did, his desolation would meet my despair, and the despondency I have felt since forever would finally be understood by his own heartache.
"Let me try..." I repeated as my hands pushed his body down the bed until his back pressed against it, my hands rested on his chest, he would not dare to keep his eyes open. I sat over him, straddled his hips.
He didn't say anything.
It didn't scare me, when he exposed his darkness, it didn't frighten me. What scared me was to think how long have him been hiding it, how long have he swallowed his sorrow, when he dismissed I was there to hold him.
"There is no frailty that could ever lessen the irrevocable love I feel for you" I was prepared to give my body once again, to gift my soul to this sable-haired man who would not mouth a single word for my ears to hear.
I understood and I could easily empathize.
Slowly, my hands would unveil our bodies and as soft and slow as both could handle, our bodies melted in one single flesh. In my tribulation I can retail that night of intimacy and listlessness we endowed each other the most anguish filled sex we could ever had. Just as loving, passionate, steamy and silent as any other time we could have done it, the immense difference was in the mutual dolefulness we shared. The gift relied on the heavy dysphoria we finally let naked for the other to see.
After all we are all searching for someone whose demons play well with ours.
OOOOOOO
My eyes opened at a very early morning, the skies were still grey and the rain hadn't stopped its torrential storm. The sheets were tangled around my hips and due to the lack of the sunlight morning, the sheets remained humid and cold for our previous night inwardness.
"Ranma?" I groggily asked as I rubbed the sleep off my eyes, I turned to try to reach for the mentioned one and found the side of the bed alone; I ran my hand through it again and cursed at the empty spot.
I sat and try to see if he was somewhere near, he couldn't have gone far anyways, I thought desolately as I clothed my naked body with one of his shirts, a size too big for me but comfortable enough to be my favorite thing to wear in a cold morning, not to forget the strong aroma of him I had every time I wore one of this, I couldn't help but beam affectionately at the thought.
I stood and wandered through the room, searched him in the bathroom and when I didn't see him, I searched outside it. I went to the adjacent rooms, the visitor's room and the office, the fireplace in the mini library and there was no Ranma to be seen.
I had to go downstairs and searched in the living room, the kitchen and the dining room and when I didn't find him, I got nervous.
"Ranma?"
...
"Ranma?-"
"Over here"
My attention was completely drawn by his baritone low voice coming from the front yard of the house, I immediately walked outside and found him sitting on the terrace of the house, the wooden roof was yielding him from getting anywhere near the chilly drips of rain.
Only a pair of black boxers separated him from being completely naked, black hair in his usual braid and in his hand a lit cigarette fuming grey smoke just like the one going out from his mouth.
"Hey," I started, he didn't seem very pleased but I knew better, he was just not any better from yesterday, any healthier from all this and I also knew it wouldn't stop anytime soon. "Gimme a second" I muttered and went back to the house.
Quickly went upstairs and hurriedly I entered our room, my attention drawn to the adjacent cabinet, I finally opened the wooden doors and took between my hands a cozy blanket that would help us downstairs.
Resolution settled, I went downstairs again and found myself outside the wooden house; I walked towards him, not without admiring his thoughtful form.
I first extended the baby blue blanket and mantled him with it, he seemed to flinch by the unawareness but I happened to catch a small "Thank you" from his lips.
I wondered if had it been for the difficulties of going back, he would have had one blanket long ago, I mentally berated myself, "Want me to get you some clothes?"
"I'm fine" He muttered.
"Alright, I'm wearing your shirt so, it would have been a problem" I joked and he seemed to smile.
I sat beside him and without saying a word or changing his blank expression, he opened the space from his right arm and invited me to get close, I complied without hesitation and leaned on his side, his arm wrapped around my shoulders and he sighed, watching the beautiful blue and grey forest ahead of us.
The smoke invading my nose trills soothed my anxiety. In a very positive way I was indulged in the scent of cigarette and his own cinnamon fragrance.
"Did you stumble to come here?" I was risking to make him upset with this question, it's not that he was useless; it's that he was new to this and I was afraid he could have gotten hurt.
"No," He smiled much to my alleviation, "Just walked very slowly to here, once I felt the rain scent and the breeze I knew I was here, don't worry"
I smiled fondly at him and reached for his hand, gave it a little squeeze and then let it go.
"Sorry for yeste-"
"Please don't, I am actually thankful towards you, I thought you had a world that you wouldn't let me see"
"Youki, I still don't know if I will be fine-"
"Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, certainly not even in a month, but one day, you'll learn that there are other ways to develop perception, certainly time will give you perspective to-"
"See? I can't" He cut me off and opened his eyes for me, turned his head in my direction as if he could focus on me, I felt my chest being demolished as his expression was unfathomably sorrowful, his pupils were absorbed by his blue iris. A clear sign he could no longer see me.
And just I contemplated, it was just a couple of nights ago; he could see me, he could smile, he felt at rest, just a few days ago but after that accident, everything changed. When I found how serious the accident was, a darkened anxiety took over my body and shook my entire world, I knew I could have lost him.
And I was thankful, I was thankful he was standing, he could move, he could breathe, and he could feel me, I was thankful he was alive, and that was enough for me, but for him.
It apparently nothing mattered if he could not see, because after that faithful night, he was declared medically and officially blind, with a possibility of regaining some shadow sighting of 5.7% and it hurt.
It hurt to see him world wrecked by the circumstances of life, because I couldn't do anything, and it didn't matter how much he grieved over it, he would not change a thing.
Just some nights ago, he didn't feel as imperfect as he felt right away.
Eyes as deep, eyes as dark as the night ocean, yet there was something that sparked with warmth, that kept those eyes from being cold. They were warm as his entire being.
"No, I wasn't going to say that, I would have chosen a better word" I whispered and snuggled close to him, I neared his face and felt his cheek came in contact with mine, his scratchy stubble rubbed my cheek and down my neck as I lowered his head in order for me to reach his ear, my lips pressed against his ear and now we were hugging, "I would say 'feel' I would use any other word that perception can give you, if you allow yourself to see with your hands, with your nose, with your ears," I kissed his ear and his arms finally wrapped around me and I felt he knew I meant it. "I promise I'll do my best to help you overcome this, and let you know it does not make you useless, it makes you different."
I felt his smile against my neck, I continued, "It won't make you lonely, if you accept my company in this, because I was there when you loved your mirror, and I will be here until you learn to love it again."
"What if it becomes pity?"
"The love I have for you hasn't changed since the first time I realized I was stupidly in love with you and that, dude, was a long time ago. If that answers your question I guess I don't need to be anymore cheesy, right?"
"Thank you."
"I didn't do anything, in fact, I'm grateful to you for trusting me."
"For being with me, you are the only one I can trust" He whispered and just I noticed the cigarette was consumed long ago.
He separated from me and he gave me a smile I was longing to see. "Well, there is a saying that says that no matter what, don't let your beloved one feel lonely, especially when you are there," I jokingly pinched the symmetrical bridge of his nose and he laughed lowly, I continued "and I love you, so no 'thank you's please"
"Right, you are nuts and cheesy." he slowly neared his right hand to me, the cold tips of his fingers landed softly on my lips and ran leisurely to my left cheek, he sighed and closed his eyes, after one minute of silence and after seemed to be completely lost in thought, he spoke up again "I will never get to see your eyes again you know, those emerald bright eyes of yours, I can't see your body, I can't see you while I'm doing you, and I curse myself for it"
I bite my lip and he continued, "I can't see your hair, I can't see you smile, I don't know if it will be the same for us, I won't see your feelings when you feel like not speaking, your silence…. Not all the time will you want to speak, I can't even see you in the most random moments or get to see that pretty dot you have near your left eye," he grinned in distress, "beauty spot right?"
"I bet you remember it well" I smiled sadly.
I would not get to see his insubordinate blue eyes spotlighting me when he gets out of his comfort zone completely; I would not get to see the predatory gaze I would get when I suggest to bath together and I would certainly not get to see that loving gaze whenever we would just cuddle or friendly chat. I would not get fun in reading his anger through his eyes, his desire, sadness and happiness. But I would feel him, in all this situations I would feel him and I would teach him how to feel me.
I breathed with a push of hope, "You'll learn how to see me without using your eyes"
"I guess I will, well you were quite a view for me" He joked trying to lift the sudden shady mood, it killed me, it killed me to see him trying to hide his grief, I placed both my hands on his cheeks and pulled him close to me.
"But you know? I also feel like crying today" I disclosed.
He sighed and his lips trembled as if I just lifted an immense burden from his shoulders, I was not impressed when his eyes started spilling new fresh thick tears, there was not compel I could offer more than my shoulder and I knew this would go on for days and though it hauled my heart to see his dullness, I knew it would be the only way to overcome it.
My arms once again encircled him as best as they could, I concealed the man I loved between them. I felt despondent too. But I could be stronger for him.
"Let's make a deal, I will have your eyes, so you can trust me I will see for you, and you'll have my heart and I can trust you will feel for me."
OOOOO