HI HUYS! So, in this story… well, just read it, it's hard to explain it without giving too much of it away. Also, I wanted to point out that English Is not my first language, so If you find any typo's or grammatical errors. Please point them out so I can fix them and improve my stories in the future I hope you enjoy reading this.
Lena was brushing her thick, curly hair in front of her bathroom mirror. She enjoyed the he raspy sound of the brush making its wat through her brown locks while it separated the knots in them. She looked at herself in the mirror. She stared into her own eyes the refection and took a deep breath. Over the course of the last year so much had happened, so much had changed and with that she saw herself change every too. Things were going better and she felt like she was finally starting to get used to this new routine in her life. A set of pale arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her out of her thoughts and back into the present.
The woman behind her took the brush from her hand and gently placed it down on the bathroom sink. "You keep brushing your hair like that and you're going to be bald one day, babe." She said before landing a small kiss on Lena's check.
Lena turned around, wrapped her arms around her lover and connected their foreheads. "But, will you still love me if I go bald?" she whispered as their eyes connect.
"I will love you no matter what happens." On of her hands unwrapped from Lena's waist and traveled up her back to her hair, followed by a gentle tug on it. "But, please be a little gentler when brushing your hair. I still want something to hold on to when I take you from behind." The last sentence came out in a seductive purr.
Lena leaned forward and placed a kiss on the shorter woman's nose. A smile appeared on both of their faces before their lips brushed together. Lena's breathing hitched when she felt the soft lips tracing her neck and bare shoulder. She couldn't hold in the small giggle that escaped her mouth. She lulled her head back when she felt the lips trace across her throat before their eyes locked again.
"We both need to get to work… We'll finish this later, Baby." The woman said before her gaze left Lena's and she turned back into the bedroom to finish getting dressed for work. Leaving Lena alone with her thought again. Lena put on her favorite blouse. It was brown and orange, bohemian style. She remembered when she bought it, she was spending a little quality time with Marianna, who insisted she'd fit it and then cheered and clapped at her mother when she walked out of the fitting room.
Lena looked at herself in the mirror once more before leaving the bathroom. "Marianna's Dance performance is this afternoon, so I'm just going to take my own car today so I can go there right after work." She said, walking into the kitchen and pouring herself a glass of orange juice.
"Alright, babe. You're going to be back before dinner?" She asked, Serving Lena the breakfast she prepared. It was Toast with bacon and scrambled eggs. She sat next to her and started eating her own breakfast.
"Yeah I think so. It ends at 5:30." Lena said before taking a bite if her toast.
The woman suddenly got a sour feeling in the pit of her stomach. She looked up at Lena with a concerned look on her face. "Is… Stef going to be there too?" She murmured.
Lena looked down at her plate again and started picking at her food with the fork. "I think so…" She said, "But it's okay. She's calmed down by now, I think."
The woman gave a nervous smile. She knew how aggressive Stef could be, she had felt it firsthand. She had a temper, a rock had fist and her words could make you want to cry yourself to sleep at night. She ofcourse wanted Lena to maintain her relationship with all of her five kids, but Stef would always be there and that scared her. Her toughness wasn't the only thing that scared her, she had to be honest to herself. She knew Stef and Lena had a long and sensitive history together, she didn't want Stef around her girlfriend… for the sake of their relationship, she didn't want their history to ruin anything while she was making her own history with Lena. She always noticed a certain fire in Lena's eyes when Stef was the subject matter, a fire that she never saw when she talked about anything else. They were separated now, waiting for the divorce to be finalized, but what if in a moment of romantic Deja-vu Lena would start retching the choices she's made? She knew that would probably never happen, Lena loved her, but… What if?
"How would you know, Babe? You haven't even seen her after the separation. I just want you to be safe." Suddenly the woman wasn't very hungry anymore. She got up and emptied the remaining contents of her plate in the trash bag before setting it in the sink. Trying to hide the fact that she was getting upset or better said... jealous.
"It's been 6 months. Plus, she's probably going to stay very far away from me. Last time at Brandon's recital she was there too and I didn't even see her." Lena reassured her. She knew her girlfriend was being protective. But Stef was no threat to her safety at all.
Lena put her now empty plate on her girlfriend's in the sink before giving her another small peck on the lips "Don't worry, I'm just going to see Marianna's performance. It's really important for me to spend time with the kids and show them I'm still there for them… and to show that even though I'm not with Stef anymore, they are still my priority and I still love them." She said, her hands resting on the counter behind her girlfriend on either side of her body.
"Maybe the kids can stay over this weekend? So, they can get to know me better… and see that I'm not a mean bitch who took their mom away from them. And they can spend some time with you too. They only see you at school and at performances and recitals and games lately." She looked up at Lena with questioning eyes.
Lena smiled at her. She was in love with the idea of having the kids in the same home as her again, even if it was just for a weekend. Since she moved out… or since Stef kicked her out she hadn't spent as much time with the kids as she wanted. In the beginning, she would pick them up and they would spend some time together. Now that only happened one every one or two weeks, Lena was feeling like the kids were disconnecting from her. They of course still texted her and called her and they saw her in school every day. The fact that they didn't like her new partner at all didn't help much either.
"Jude, love." Lena said as she walked towards him in the hallway. She had already asked Marianna, Callie, Jesus and Brandon if they wanted to stay over at her place for the weekend. She saw them all sitting together at the lunch table. They all looked at each other and hesitated at first but then decided that they wouldn't mind staying over if their other mom didn't mind.
"Hey momma!" Jude said enthusiastic. "How are you?" He added.
Lena smiled, he was always so polite. "I'm doing fine, Sweets. How are you?" She hugged him and pinched his cheek. "I'm doing fine, I'm just drowning in this unending sea of homework!" He joked.
His mother laughed. "I was wondering if you want to stay over in the weekend? I asked the other and they all said yes." She saw the doubt and hesitation in Jude's eyes. Her own smile faded off her face. "It's fine if you… if you don't want to we can just do something else fun, just the two of us?" she pleaded.
Jude hated this situation, ever since he and Callie had been adopted and before that he never saw any fights between his moms before one time and a few days later they told the kids that they were getting a divorce. He didn't like his mom's new girlfriend. She was a homewrecking slut who had her eyes on his mom since the beginning. She was the reason all this had happened. Now Stef was always sad even though she tried to hide it from the kids.
"No, It's fine. I's love to stay over!" he said with a now faked enthusiasm in his voice. He would really like to stay over at Lena's house, but he just didn't want her new flame to be there with them.
"Really? Oh, Jude… that means so much to me." Lena's smile was back on her face. She pulled her son back in for another bear hug. "I can't wait to have a house full of kids this weekend! I miss the constant annoying teenager noises you guys make!" she laughed.
The sound of the school bell hit their ears. "Got to go momma. Love you!" Jude said as he closed his locker and waked in the opposite direction. A faint "Love you too, Bug!" was heard from behind him.
The school day went by fast, Lena packed her things and made her way to her car. She pressed the unlock button on when she saw Callie run to her.
"MOM, wait!" She yelled as she threw her grey backpack over her shoulder while running to the car. "Mom already picked the others up but I told them I was riding with you today." She said trying to catch her breath when she finally reached the car. "I had to stay at school to check something out for my project…" She explained "And since you always leave this late I thought I could drive to Marianna's… thing with you." Lena of course didn't object.
The drive was filled Lena and Callie playfully singing along with different songs on the car radio. Searching for the next song Callie stumbled upon 'Love will make me stay' she knew the song, she had heard it a few times before, enough to be able to sing along with it. She looked over at her mom and noticed how she was gripping the steering wheel so tight that her knuckles were becoming white and she was staring straight ahead with no emotion on her face.
"what's wrong?" Callie asked, putting her hand on her mother's shoulder.
Lena looked at her briefly before turning her eyes back to the traffic. "The song…" she started, "Do you remember it?" she asked. This was the song Stef and her had played so many times at their wedding. This was 'their' song. Callie shook her head, she didn't know where she knew it from. She started thinking really hard about when she first heard. Then it came to her. This was the song her moms always used to sing to each other. "Oh, gosh! I'm sorry momma… I forgot." She said as she quickly changed the radio station. Then there was a silence.
"Mom is not doing well…" Callie said suddenly "She's depressed, the doctor gave her pills"
Lena's eyes got wide. Stef was sick, she was depressed. "What? Since when, Callie? Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Lena's heart began to pound in her chest so hard that she was sure it could be seen from the outside.
"I don't know, I saw strange pills in her cabinet…. I was searching for her comb and I google searched what they were for and they are for depression." Callie said in the saddest tome Lena had ever heard. She could her the desperate and concerned in the words that came out of Callie's mouth next, "I want everything to be like it was, momma."
They reached the parking lot of the building, Lena parked her car as close to the entrance as possible. "Callie, I love you… All of you guys with all my heart. You are my children." She turned off the engine of her car.
"So suddenly you stopped loving mom and started loving that BITCH! Callie raised her voice, "Then it's only a matter of time before you stop loving us like that too and start a nice new family with her!" Callie opened the door and stormed out of the car.
Lena followed her. "Cal, please stop, let me talk to you!" she asked. Callie seemed to listen as she stopped walking away from her. Lena turned her around so they were face to face. "Baby girl, I would never stop loving you, nothing in the world could make that happen, not the divorce, not my girlfriend, not even you…" she said, "And the same thing counts for mom, I will always, always, always love her… but sometimes just love is not enough for two people to be together. Mom and I are both not ready to… you know, speak to each other"
Callie's eyes started to tear up. "You hate each other…" Lena cut her off, "No, Love. I will never hate mom. I know the last few days of me being in the house were filled with me and mom fighting and stuff, but I think we need time apart for now to cool down and to get used to not being around each other." She gave Callie a big hug, whipped away her tears and took her hand to walk inside the building with her.
Once they got inside Brandon waved them over to where the rest of the kids were. Lena decided to casually walk by and check if Stef was sitting with them. To her surprise, she wasn't. "Hi babies!" she called as she sat down next to Brandon. Callie had walked a little further and sat down next to Jesus. Lena placed her bag on the chair next to her and tried to relax after the conversation she just had with Callie. They were all a little bit early, the crew was still setting up the stage for the performance. She gave Jude a couple of dollars to go buy some snacks before it stated. She stood up to let Jude pass her and then she bumped into someone. She stood up completely straight to face the person.
"Lena."
"Stef"
It had been a half year since they last saw each other and they both were in utter shock. Stef opened her moth to say something but decided to close it again. The two just stared at each other before Stef said, "H-how are youj?"
Lena couldn't believe what was happening with her feelings. She should be angry and distant from this woman. But instead she felt like a kid in a candy store, Stef looked so different, but still beautiful as ever. Her hair was hanging in loose strands next to her face. Her piercing blue eyes were framed by her long lashes and they were staring straight into her soul. For a moment, Lena thought about hugging her, but the idea was quickly shoved to the back of her mind. She was dating a lovely woman and she needed to keep her safe distance. Also, she didn't know how Stef felt about her after these six months had passed. After all, Lena was dating someone new and she wasn't going to wake up feelings that were better left asleep, she had hurt both Stef and her girlfriend too much.
"I'm okay. How are you?" She said, not knowing what tone of voice or what body language to use. Everything about her at this point SCREAMED the word awkward.
"I'm good, I'm fine uhm. Can we maybe have a uhm talk later? After the show, I mean…" Stef stuttered. She wanted to be angry at Lena again, she wanted to feel any type of rage. But instead she felt emptiness… an emptiness in her soul. She was thirsty for something and only Lena could give her the formula to quench it. It wasn't a sexual aspect. It was a certain warmth, like a helpless baby that needs a mother. She wanted to feel close to her again even if it was just friendly, but in this moment, she had to be strong and pretend like she didn't feel anything anymore.
Lena nodded her head, "Yeah of course…" she didn't know how to engage any further conversation. She looked behind her and saw all of their children staring at them. They must be surprised that things were so civil between them, the last time the kids saw them together they were yelling at each other and throwing subjects of all their previous fights on the table. Lena and Stef were a little shocked themselves.
Lena removed her bag from the chair that was next to her and put it on the floor before her. She gestured for Stef to sit down next to her. Stef gracefully sat down. She flashed reassuring smile at her kids who were sitting at the other side of Lena. She then looked at Lena and the reassuring smile turned into a friendly smile. A closed mouth smile that said; 'We're on good terms'.
The performance started. Marianna danced her heart out and she of course looked adorable to her moms. She performed dance after dance and her family cheered wildly for her. During the break all of the kids were somewhere in the building, getting a snack, going to the bathroom or just hanging around… anything that could het their butts out of the uncomfortable seats they were in. Lena's cellphone phone buzzed, she was being called. She took her phone from her pocket and looked at the caller ID, it was her girlfriend. Stef saw the caller ID and in her head, she flashed her middle finger at the phone before throwing it to the other side of the room, but she couldn't do that.
She gave Lena another smile, "Lena, you can pick up your phone you know… Do you want a snack?" She asked before getting her wallet out of her bag. Lena shook her head no with a shy look on her face.
Lena had a shy look on her face. She pressed the green icon to pick up the call. "Hey, Monte" she started. Monte was calling to see how Lena wanted her potatoes for dinner when she got home later. The call ended with Lena saying "Bye, I love you too".
Stef had been back from getting her snacks long enough to hear Lena tell Monte that she loved her. It was like a knife stabbing into her heard over and over and over. It was like reliving that moment. That moment when she first found out about Monte and Lena.
That day Lena had told Stef that she was coming home late because of meeting with the school counsel. Stef knew something was off about the situation, whenever Lena had meetings like these she would always take her briefcase with her to the school. She decided that she was probably just overreacting ad that it could be a different kind of meeting than usual.
She decided to invite Jenna to dinner since all the kids already had made other plans for the evening. Marianna and Callie were going to help set up a party at their friend's house, Jude was going t sleep over at Connor's, Jesus would have dinner at his girlfriend's house and Brandon had an audition. Jenna had told her she needed to talk to her a few days ago, So she decided that they could talk at dinner since nobody else would be home.
"I made macaroni, or well… I tried" Stef laughed as she set the pots of food on the dinner table where Jenna was already seated. "I think Lena should be home in maybe an hour and a half, these things never take too long." She added. They started to eat their dinner.
"So, I guess things are done with you and Monte?" Stef asked after Jenna was explaining about this new girl she met at the gym last week. Jenna wasn't the most secretive when it came to het lovers.
"No…" The expression on Jenna's face changed into a more serious one. "That's actually what I wanted to talk about in the first place…" She murmured.
"Oh, what's with it? Usually you get over thing like this really easy and I thought…." Stef didn't get to finish her sentence before Jenna cut her off. "Monte dumped me because she said she and Lena are in love."
Stef's eyes grew wide with confusion. "What? That's ridiculous…." She said.
"I don't believe so… I saw them… together… It was… they were…" Jenna stuttered and started to rethink telling Stef what she saw between Monte and her ex-girlfriend. The expression on Stef's face was not describable. Her jaw was clenched, her eyes were big and full of rage, her face was turning a boiling color red.
"Spit it out, Jenna! WHAT DID YOU SEE?" Stef yelled.
Jenna swallowed a big lump in her throat before speaking again. "I couldn't believe it too at first, I mean… you and Lena are like, the ultimate couple…. But I went by the school the other day to talk to monte and to try to make things right with her…and they had…" Jenna hesitated for a moment. "They were in Lena's office and the door was closed and… they were on her desk… kissing."
"Please tell me this is a joke, Jenna… and if it is, it's absolutely not funny!" Stef couldn't believe her ears. Lena would never do that.
"I'm sorry, Stef." Jenna said, she tried walking over to Stef's side of the table. Stef had her elbows on the table and her hands in her hear. Tears were threatening to spill out of her eyes.
"Please, Jenna… I'm sorry but can you please leave, I just need some time to think for a minute."
Jenna didn't want to 'snitch' on Lena and cause trouble in their marriage, but she felt like she had to. She had known Stef since they were in high school. Stef had always been there for her. "I… I don't want to bring trouble… It's just that if someone did this to me behind my back I would want to know." And with that Jenna disappeared from Stef's side.
Stef could hear the front door opening and closing, she was alone now. She didn't want to cry yet. This had to be a mistake, there had to be a reasonable explanation for all of this. She decided that she was just going to wait until Lena was home ad not to freak out until she got an actual conformation from her.
Jesus, Jude and Brandon all came home and went straight to their rooms. It was getting later and later. Callie and Marianna would be at the party till at least 11:30. It was now 9:30 PM and Lena still wasn't home. 'what if she's with monte right now, having a romantic get together?' Stef thought to herself. She quickly shook the images that her mind had created about her wife in bed with monte out of her brain and sat down on the couch… Lena could be showing up any minute now.
Stef's heart felt like it was bouncing through her whole body when she heard the front door click open. She straightened herself on the couch as she heard Lena kick off her shoes in the hall. She hadn't practiced what she was going to ask, or say.
Lena came around the corner and into the living room where her wife was sitting. "Hey, what are you still doing up?" she asked before joining Stef on the couch, curling up next to her. Stef abruptly got up from her spot and started pacing trough the room, thinking about words to say to Lena at this moment.
"Is everything okay, Love?" Lena asked with a worried look on her face, her head following Stef's pacing.
Stef suddenly walked over to the chair that was placed across from her wife. "Are you having an affair with Monte." She asked without any mention showing on her face. She was in police mode, trying to spot any trace of lying in Lena's behavior like she did with the criminals when she interrogated them. Now it was the turn of Lena's heart to feel like bouncing through her body.
"NO!" she almost instantly said.
Lie…
"Are you in love with her?"
"NO" she said, louder this time.
Lie...
"Then why are you kissing her in your office with the door closed?"
"I'm not!" She answered again, her voice started shaking.
LIE…
"God, you're suck a fucking bad liar! STOP LYING TO ME LENA!" Stef Yelled at her. In this moment, she didn't care that the kids were home in their room. She got up from the chair and started to pace around again. "I'm giving you one more chance to tell me the truth Lena. Are you sleeping with Monte?" She asked, her voice trembling with anger while tears started uncontrollably streaming down her face.
"Yes." Lena said with the smallest voice, so small that it was almost not audible to Stef.
"The answer was like slap in the face for Stef. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" She started screaming so loud that Lena was sure the kids had heard.
"Stef, I'm so sorry." Lena said, her voice once again just above a whisper. She couldn't blame her at all for being mad at her. She was ashamed of herself, ashamed for lying, ashamed for cheating but most of all ashamed for actually being able to start falling for another person. Stef made her happy, and she knew she loved Stef more than she loved monte, but Monte gave her a feeling she hadn't felt in a long time, something she didn't feel anymore with Stef.
"Sorry? You're sorry? I can't believe you actually did this Lena! How long has this shit been going on?" Stef did not even know if she wanted to know the answer. She got no response, Lena was looking down at her hands. "How long have you been fucking your boss Lena? Answer me!" She yelled, her eyes were spitting fire at Lena.
Lena finally looked up and her eyes met her wife's furious ones. "A few weeks. I'm so sorry, baby." Tears were now streaming down Lena's face too. Stef turned her back to her and put her hands on the dresser in front of her. Lena continued pleading with her. "I love you, you're…"
She didn't get to finish her sentence before Stef suddenly turned around and threw one of the books that was placed on the dresser at Lena, it missed her by only a few inches. "WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT? Oh, I guess it's me… because I'm not a good wife, I'm not paying enough attention to you? That's it?" She started laughing desperately through her tears. "Why?" she asked again.
"Stef, please listen to me." She begged.
Stef held her hands up in a defensive way before saying, "Go ahead, I Really can't wait to see how you are going to justify this!"
"I will never be able to… justify this! I cheated on you, while all you did was trying to keep things alright between us." She sobbed.
"How could you do this to me?" Stef asked. But before Lena could even formulate an answer in her mind Stef yelled again, "You fucking slu…" this time it was Stef who was cut off mid-sentence. The front door flew open again. Callie and Marianna walked inside with wide smiles showing on their faces, still talking abut the fun they had at the party. They noticed their parents both in tears in the living room.
"Hey moms… What's wrong, why are you crying?" Callie said. She walked into the living room but was stopped half way by Stef.
"Girls, please go upstairs." She told the, not wanting to explain anything to them right now. The two teenagers made their way upstairs quickly, shutting the door to their room. As soon as Stef heard the door to their room close she spoke again. "How was it? Was she good?" She asked, "Was she better than me, Lena? How many times did she cum for you? Because that's why you like it right? I can't cum for you and she can?" She had never felt more hurt in her entire life.
"I love you Stef, I don't know how I can make this right." Lena sobbed.
Then Stef suddenly got her next question in her head. She really did not know if she even wanted an answer from her wife, "Do you… do you love her?"
There was a dead silence in the room. Lena looked up to her wife again and spoke, "Stef, I will never love anyone like I love you."
Stef slammed her fist on the table, "ANSWER MY QUESTION, DO YOU LOVE HER?"
"YES!" Lena yelled back, the raw emotion, a mixture of shame and anger in her eyes. "I do… But I love you too Stef, I love you so much." She added quickly.
Stef felt like all of her blood left her body. She was weak, her whole life had been turned upside down in just a few minutes. She walked away from Lena. Halfway out of the living room she turned around, "Sleep on the couch, please… Lena" she whispered. The curly haired woman watched as her wife made her way upstairs. She did what she was asked to do. She got a blanket out of the dresser and cried herself to sleep on the couch, She didn't plan for things to go this far. The thing with monte started with a kiss that only lasted a mere second. After that things started getting more and more complicated, feelings started to grow and it all lead to this very moment.
So, I decided to leave this Chapter at this and end it with the flashback. Please review if you think I should continue or if you have ANY requests! Thank you for reading!