Author's Note: I was bored learning my German Coursework, so wrote this instead. XD I'm revising in the bath to make up for it. It's Mello all on his lonesome- mentions of Matt, Near and L, but no yaoi. That's right people - I've achieved something completely slash-less. I guess you could pick out a little MelloxMatt love if you wanted, but I don't really see it in this. It's Mello talking about how life's been, and yeah. Crap really. Inspired by me, and of course the great Gods Ohba and Obata, who own Death Note, and therefore a fraction of my soul.
Warnings: Angsty, but not really, lots of death mentions, SPOILER, swears, sex mention, drugs mention, booze mention, guns mention, blah… Mello being hateful, now I think about it XD All the good stuff.
Disclaimer: Did I not mention the Gods?! The Gods people, the Gods!
Dedications: Rasp, Carly, and our epic France/Belgium trip, 'cause I can :D
It's helping with my exams, I swear…
I don't want to die. There, I've said it. I'm not scared. I'm not, Near, not matter what you'll assume and calculate and evaluate. And I'm not gonna wimp out at the last minute or anything - No, I'm too proud for that. I'm just…
Living's been hard. I of all people in this fucking case can tell you that. I walked out from Wammy's after years of being beaten by a fucking snowflake two years younger than me. Drifted around England and America - picking up money where I could until I was sixteen and joined the Mafia. There, I actually had some fun, even though that sounds sick. I think guns and bombs were always meant for me, along with cheap sex, strong alcohol and side dishes of occasional drug-weekends. Hooking up with Matt again at nineteen made it even better, although I never wanted him along.
The explosion hurt. Like mad. I thought I was gonna die, too, and I guess I would've if Matt hadn't been able to get me some morphine and some dodgy doctor whose reasons for helping were probably as unprofessional as they get. The scar's a bitch - totally fucked up my face, which was just about as pretty as it could've been. But I guess it could be worse - some days I even like it. It's a milestone, really… Some guys get tattoos to try and prove to the world how hard they are. I didn't even have to do that - blowing up buildings with yourself inside tends to do the job.
And now I'm here. Closer to the edge than I've ever been, looking at the sheer drop and broken hearts below, impaled on crosses and notebook corners. Maybe I'll live, you know? Maybe I won't have to take the plunge. But…
This Takada thing is pretty bad. I've told Matt it's gonna be okay, and it will be - for him. But I'm probably not gonna make it. Who am I kidding? I'm not gonna make it.
But that's okay. Really, it's fine. I'll be strong. I haven't cried yet - I don't plan to. I'm praying like Hell though, 'cause God knows I need help right now. I just need enough to get me through these last few days, and my big finale. Then that's it. Finite. Terminated. Wrapped up. "Nothing to see here, folks…"
Life is pretty good - worth living for, at any rate. But avenging L, ending the Kira Case, and kicking Near in the teeth are worth the price.
So, fuck you Near, you little bastard. I'm going further than you ever would.
Crap, like I said XD
It entertained me for an hour or so though.
Review please :D
TwistedPearls
x