A/N : Italics mean flashback!

Sometimes, I think about the past and what has happened since the Great War.

I try to pinpoint a specific time in my life where everything just simply went down the drain.

But I can't...

My head is full of the terrible events that happened, leading up to the present.

I'm drowning in my memories, I can't really focus on one memory for too long...

Maybe it's all of the poison in my system. Yeah, that's probably it. Maybe if I hadn't consumed enough firewhiskey to kill a full grown mountain troll, I could figure out why my life is so shitty...

I take another drink from the bottle in my right hand, finishing it. I moved to the one in my left hand, to find it empty.

I sigh, place the empty firewhiskey bottles on the coffee table next to me, carefully stand and make my way to the bathroom.

I splash cold water on my face and look up into the mirror.

Oh Merlin. In the mirror, I see a woman who looks twice her age; with bloodshot eyes; dirty, brown, tangled, bushy hair...that hasn't been washed in days; and deep purple bags under both of her tired brown eyes.

"Hermione, maybe you should lay off the whiskey. It's not very good for you." Harry reached out to put a hand on my shoulder.

"I can take care of myself, Harry." I said, shaking his hand off and looked down at my shoes. This isn't the first time he brought up my drinking habits. "And besides, it helps me move past my problems." I mumbled.

Harry sighed and took my hand. "I know, but there are healthier ways to move past your problems." He placed his finger from his free hand under my chin and lifted my face so I would look at him. "Hermione... I speak for myself, and all of the people who care about you, we're really worried about you. You're my best friend, and I can't watch you waste away anymore."

"Harry, I... I just can't get over so much loss." My voice was shaking and climbing an octave or so higher. "I lost so many friends in that stupid war, I lost my parents and..." I took a deep breath. "I'm a twenty-three year old widow." My voice cracked as I let the tears flow freely down my face.

Pain. My heart was re-breaking. I had forced myself to push everything to the back of my mind. Saying everything out loud just seemed to make everything so... real.

Harry just stood their holding me. Letting me sob into his shoulder.

"Don't forget, you're not alone. You know you can always come to me." He whispered into my hair. "Just talk to me Hermione. It helps when you talk to somebody. I know it helped me when I told Ginny everything. We helped each other pick up the pieces."

I lifted my head off of his shoulder to look at him. He was crying too.

He had been so happy when he got here to announce that he finally got the courage to propose to Ginny. Then he caught sight of the empty firewhiskey bottles overflowing from my waste bin. Uhg. I really knew how to bring down a wonderful mood didn't I? What kind of a friend makes her best friend cry on one of his happiest days.

I took a deep breath and stepped out of Harry's embrace.

"Harry, I'm really tired. I don't mean to be rude, but maybe you should leave."

"Not until I know you'll be ok."

"What? Of course I'll be fine." I managed a weak smile.

"Well, I know how you get when you're fired from a job and I-"

"How do you know about that?"

He looked away with a guilty expression. "I keep an eye on your records." He mumbled almost inaudibly.

"You what?" I felt my face flush. That means he knows about all of the times I was fired. About all of the jobs I couldn't keep. About how many times I've been taken to St. Mungo's for alcohol poisoning. About how behind I am on the payments for my flat. About how behind I am on the payments for the cheap, rundown car that I don't even use. About all of the times I've been accused of stealing food because I couldn't afford a meal. God, how embarrassing.

"I was only trying to look after you. I didn't mean to upset you." He explained.

I glared at him. "Everything in there is personal! You shouldn't have done that."

"Hermione, I'm sorry. Please. Just-"

"No. I don't want to hear it." I said as calmly as I could. "Please leave."

"Hermione, I just need to know that you'll be alright."

I couldn't look at him, so I just stared blankly at a spot on the wall above his shoulder. My head was pounding. I knew I shouldn't be mad. But I couldn't help it. I knew he had my best interest at heart. But everything in there is personal, and utterly embarrassing.

"I'll be fine as soon as you leave." I said through clenched teeth.

"I'm sorry." He whispered as he turned and walked to the door of my flat.

I turned and stumbled out of my bathroom into the hallway. I paused halfway to my bedroom and turned to see the picture hanging on the wall to my left. It was a picture from my twenty-first birthday. A picture of me, Harry, Ginny, and Ron.

Wow, was that really me?

I studied the picture carefully. My eyes were bright and happy and my hair was hardly bushy at all, it looked shiny and healthy in big fluffy ringlets a little past my shoulders. I looked to the right half of the picture and saw a truly happy Harry with his arm slung across a smiling Ginny's shoulders. I glanced to the left half of the picture and saw Ron.

Oh Ronald...

I reached up to touch the picture. My fingers gently stroked his face, and he smiled even bigger and started waving frantically.

I was sitting inside the burrow reading the Daily Prophet and trying to tune out Ginny, Molly, and Fleur argue about something or other while Angelina tried to get everybody to calm down.

I rolled my eyes and smiled. I loved my Sunday afternoons with the Weasleys.

SLAM!

All five of us jumped and turned to look at the culprit of the disruption.

"Mum! Fast...Ron...fell...broom...blood..." Gasped a soaking wet Charlie as he clutched the hitch in his side.

Molly ran outside to see Bill holding an unconscious Ron covered in blood.

Molly screamed as black engulfed me.

I shake my heard trying to stop the next memory from surfacing.

I slowly become aware of my surroundings.

Soft voices. Footsteps.

What happened? Why does my head hurt?

I try to stifle a slight moan as I try to turn my head, but the headache is so overpowering I can't help it.

"Hermione?"

"Is she awake?"

"Has she come around?"

"Back up everybody, give her some room."

I finally manage to open my eyes.

"Hermione, dear, how are you feeling?" asked Molly.

"I feel...drained. My head is pounding."

"Well you took quite a shock." whispered Angelina.

I looked around again. Why was everybody looking at me as if I might explode at any minute?

"What's going on?" I asked.

I waited a few minutes for somebody to answer me. Nobody did.

"What happened?" I tried again.

"You don't...remember...any...thing?" Harry slowly asked.

"Uhm, no?" I thought back. "Well, I was reading...and...Charlie slammed the door." I paused, why couldn't I remember? "Then..." I willed myself to bring the memory back. "Uhm..." I tried again. "My head... it feels like it's going to explode."

"What was the last thing you saw?" whispered Harry.

"Harry, don't push her, give her some time." said Ginny.

I looked at them. Something was off. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths to try to get my brain back on track.

I opened my eyes and looked around again. Somebody was missing.

"Where's Ron?" I asked Harry.

He just stared at me with a sympathetic look.

I tried to get myself to remember again.

"How long have I been out?" I asked instead.

"Eet's ven two dayz." mumbled Fleur.

It's been that long? Wow, shouldn't Ron be here? Shouldn't he be sitting here beside me. I know if he had been hurt that I would... Blood. The last thing I remember was blood. Somebody was bleeding? No, not somebody, RON.

I jumped off the bed only to find that I moved too fast and my movement made my head spin. I fell back onto the bed.

"Ron, where is he? How is he? It he alright? I have to see him!" I gasped, clutching my head.

Molly started crying. I watched as Charlie held his crying mother.

I gave them a bewildered look. "He's alright isn't he? They fixed him right up, right?"

Harry walked over with unshed tears built up in his sad emerald eyes. He placed his hand on my shoulder and shook his head. Seeing that movement, Ginny collapsed into the chair and buried her face in her hands. Fleur was sobbing and clutching a silent, solemn looking Bill. I looked up at Harry.

"Harry? Tell me he's ok. Tell me that my husband is ok!"

"He's...gone..." Harry choked out, letting his tears fall. Ginny and Molly were sobbing loudly. And Fleur's body was shaking uncontrollably with her heart wrenching sobs. Yet, I couldn't hear them. I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't feel anything.

I pulled myself out of the memory to find myself curled up on the floor, with silent tears flowing steadily down my face.

Oh God, Ronald, why did you have to do this to me? You promised you would never leave.

I grumbled and rolled onto my side, trying to turn away from the bright intruding sunlight.

Holy fuck. My head feels like it's about to split in two.

I reach for my pillow so I can cover my face with it to block out the bright light, but it's not there. Instead, there's a wall?

Huh?

I opened my eyes, but shut them again as soon as the sun pierced my eyes with its painful, yellow rays. I tried again, but slowly this time.

I was on the floor in my hallway? Oh, that's right. Last night. That explains the hangover. I slowly sat up, trying to let my stiff muscles adjust. My body was really sore from being on the hard floor.

I got to my feet and winced when my back straightened up.

I started toward the kitchen. I think I need to brew a nice, strong anti-hangover potion. You'd think I'd remember the name of the potion that I have to brew almost every other day. But I don't, it's an unpleasant reminder of who I let myself become.

Disclaimer : I only own the plot and characters that I introduce. I do not own the characters of Harry Potter. They belong to J.K. Rowling. I am receiving no profit for my story, it is for entertainment purposes only.

A/N : Well, this is my first ever attempt on writing something other than poetry. :O So, be gentle? I would appreciate constructive criticism and any ideas that you have for the story. (: If you have suggestions, please send me a private message. If you have anything to say, anything at all, please review. I need motivation for this, since it's my first story and all. (: I know it's definitely not the best and it's not very long, but tell me what you think anyway and help me improve my writing? (:

-AngelicPassion