Integra slammed the phone down and then proceeded to hit her head repeatedly on her desk. Why…her? Why…would…they…not…leave…her…alone!? She…was…per…fect…ly…hap…py!

"Does that action relieve you, Master?" She glared up. Alucard stared down at her, a crooked smirk on his face, his head tilted to the side questioningly.

"No, no it doesn't," she admitted, sitting up. She groaned, "Why, Alucard? Why does every bachelor in the United Kingdom want to take me to dinner?"

"Because you cannot assault them, or sic a vampire on them, in such a public place," Alucard chuckled, "Has it really been that long?" He mused.

"What has been that long?"

"Women your age would kill for the opportunities you have just a century earlier. Think about it; any man you want, regardless of social standing, and without having to be tied down immediately to him," Integra smirked.

"Is this going to be some sort of back-in-my-day spiel?" She asked. Alucard shook his head.

"I'm not Walter. I was just simply pointing out how courtship has changed. Women have become such men-haters, convinced all we want is sex," Integra frowned. As far as she was concerned, that was all they wanted, and Alucard was a liar if he denied it.

"And I suppose back in the 15th century, every man was a perfect gentleman?" Alucard shook his head.

"No, there have always been scoundrels. But I haven't met a gentlemen in I don't know how long, and it seems that women have evolved into having more balls than men," he smirked, looking at his master. She was proof of that.

Integra turned away from him. She didn't like it when he looked at her. It made her feel self-conscious.

"Tell me about them, Alucard. The men and the women of your times," she asked. He strode towards the window.

"What is there to say? They were dirty, filthy even, but no one minded. Hygiene was not as popular as it is nowadays. Except for the noblemen and women. You would have loved them, Integra. They had such pride and dignity; they held their heads high and never let anyone limit them. You remind me of that dying breed, Master," he said the last sentence quietly, as though admitting something to her.

He grinned to himself as his memories came back.

"You think the parties you have nowadays are any good? Please; they're nothing but excuses for getting drunk and acting stupid. No, these balls were quite something. The ballrooms themselves were magnificent; bathed in gold and decorated with angels and clouds and a handsome chandelier. The men and women were so beautiful; they spent hours and hours to make themselves as perfect as they could. I never cared for dancing, but I watched. Watching them was just as incredible," Integra realized that his descriptions had drawn her towards him unconsciously. She pulled herself away, turning back to her desk.

"Did you go to many balls?" She asked. He smirked.

"Only when I was thirsty," he replied. She raised an eyebrow, "You seem to have forgotten how differently vampires were perceived back then. We were a fact of life, not a myth condemned to horror movies and ghost stories. We were feared and worshipped as gods, sacrifices given to us whenever we asked. I didn't ask, though," he pursed his lips, his eyes focused on the distant, black horizon.

"You just took," Integra scoffed.

"If I had to. Mostly the occasional mob or vampire hunter satisfied me enough. But I did take, and I tried to be picky about who I took," Integra bristled. Here was the part she dreaded, hearing about all those poor souls Alucard had absorbed.

"Let me guess; you left the men and the wives and the children alone. Your only interest was in poor virgin girls you could make into your slave and then dispose of whenever it suited you," Alucard spun around, his eyes blazing. He towered over Integra.

"Listen well, Master. Those virgin girls came of their own accord; I did not take them. They asked for the life I gave them; I had no control over whether or not they were prepared for the consequences. I even married them, Integra, married them so they wouldn't feel as guilty about living with a vampire."

"You lie! You yourself have told me that you have never loved a woman!" Integra raised her voice. Alucard's lips curled back.

"I tried! Damn it, I cared for them with everything I could muster, but in the end I couldn't force myself to love them! Love isn't something you can just summon; it has to be there first, and then you discover it!"

"And where are your wives now, Alucard? Did you leave them in Transylvania or did you have the courtesy to kill them before you left?"

"They were murdered by vampire hunters, or killed themselves, or left me in several other manners of divorce," he said bitterly. Integra moved her head as though she had been slapped on the cheek. Hard, "Again, they were unprepared for the consequences of the life they wanted. I could not love them, and they refused to love me."

Alucard's eyes softened briefly as he looked at Integra. He turned back to the window and gazed outside for a long time.

"I'm sorry, Alucard," Integra murmured. She had gone too far again. She always seemed to do that with him.

Alucard shook his head.

"You don't deserve a man, Master," he breathed. Integra turned back to her work. Maybe she didn't.

His grin caught her off guard as she looked out of the corner of her eye, wondering why he hadn't left her.

"Do you know what your problem is, Integra?" He purred.

"That I'm a bitch?" She growled. He laughed bitterly.

"That, too," he passed by her desk, "You need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how. Though I don't believe I'm the one who was meant to do so," he phased through the door.

Integra sighed. You consider yourself a Rhett Butler? She wondered. I suppose if you really wanted, you could be anyone you choose. But don't think I'll be your Scarlet. No, no even I'm not that selfish.