A/N: One of the fics I wrote back for the KanoKido Season event on tumblr. Prompt for this one was fall.
The darkness had already fallen outside the windows of the base. It happened early this day, though it shouldn't be surprising, because at this time of year days were already getting shorter as Summer had finally left Japan some time ago, making room for a Fall. The overwhelming heat had left as well, though there was still pretty warm outside, even with evening cooling the peaceful air.
Today was actually a very nice weather and that's probably the reason, Kido thought, why Seto and Mary had decided to go for a trip to forest, to visit little Medusa's old house. This way it left only her and Kano in the base.
Kano. Just the internal mention of him made her sigh. She must had said it, she was exhausted. Maybe she shouldn't call it like that, she thought next, maybe it wasn't exactly appropriate, but then she immediately pushed that thought away. Because really, she didn't have enough energy to care about how something can sound like in her own mind. And besides, she had every right to complain. This Summer was horrible, to say the least, and she was so god damn happy that Fall had finally arrived, bringing an end to that oppressive season. Honestly, Fall meant to her most of all end of a Summer. Stained leaves were like red signal, stopping Summer heat from its endless run.
To say the truth though, not whole Summer was this overpowering. Really intense were only these two days. 14th and 15th of August. First new members, then solving the mystery to which answer they were seeking for years, that leaded to encounter with this goddamned bastard. But they eventually had managed to get out of this alive, what's more they got rid of their powers and brought Onee-chan back. Happy end.
But the fact was she was not exhausted because of these two days, but actually of the days that followed that 'happy ending'. Because of Kano.
Once again, she had every right to complain. It was her after all who decided to take this task, this responsibility for her own. And she decided, wanted to solicitously complete this task the best she could. So if she's complaining to anyone, she is to herself. Because it's her fault it was this hard. Because it wouldn't be if she had noticed earlier. That he was broken.
After hearing his story and after his mask dropped, taken along with his ability, it became so obvious all at once. What a fool she was. She knew he was constantly lying, but she believed, or rather wanted to believe, that occasional punches and hits are enough to cancel his eyes, to prevent his lies. By giving him pain. Just. Great.
No. No, of course she knew that it wasn't enough, wasn't the best. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew it. But she wanted to believe so much that his lies were just innocent, that it was just the part of his nature and that it didn't bring much damage, so she'd just pushed that thought further away, not letting it torment her. She'd felt guilty (rightly what's worse), so she'd took it as her new mission to fix him. Besides she owed this to him. Just like he helped her live with her power, she needed to help him live without it.
Great part in this task took simply ending this whole endless nightmare, getting out of Summer heat's grasp, freeing him (as she thinks of it) from that damn snake that took their Father and Onee-chan away and most of all her return.
Being honest, these events were the actual glue that stuck him back together. All she had to do was keeping him together until that glue would finally dry out, so he wouldn't fall apart during the process. And it wasn't that easy.
Especially since she was the person who usually spend the biggest amount of time with him. That way she needed to weigh all her actions, so they would help, not disturb his 'treatment'. She had to be careful to not be too harsh for him, but at the same time to not be too indulgent, so he wouldn't feel like his under the special care. She had to know when to take time to talk to him, so he would know that she care about him and treasure chatting with him, but she also had to know when to remain shut up, to let him be on his own, to show that she trust him this much.
But it was hard also in another way. She hadn't expected that seeing him without his mask would affect her so much. He didn't look that bad, all better that she feared he would, but still, it came out she was too used to his fake facade. And she wasn't used to see bags under his eyes and his pale complexion that occurred after a worse day. It also came out that he was skinnier than he'd been showing it. She hadn't given it time to contemplate whether it was because of stress or because he had been eating less than he had admitted.
She'd also had to get used to see him without a smile and to understand that it didn't mean there is something wrong. When he'd had his ability he would always pretend he was smiling, no matter what. He could be angry, he could be crying, he could be indifferent, yet he would keep smiling. Of course without his ability it wasn't physically possible anymore. And of course when she'd first seen him without a smile, not even with a frown , sitting lazily on the couch while reading a magazine as always, she'd started worry and her natural impulse was to ask if everything was alright. She's glad that in the end she hadn't, instead decided to observe him a bit longer which had leaded to discover that in fact he simply just wasn't smiling. It looked that after all the years, seeing him without his trademark smirk became some kind of abstract notion. She forgot that people tend to not smile not only because they're unhappy for some reason, but also because they just simply not find a reason to at a moment. Or rather she forgot that Kano is also classified as a human.
She's glad that she hadn't interfered then, really, because it could only result in him being more careful in the future, bringing back that old habit of his. After the occurrences like this she always became suddenly awfully aware of how much risky her job indeed was. One wrong move could ruin all her effort and pulled him back to his old persona or rather shatter him back to the broken pieces of who he really is.
But there was also something that she liked about all of this. She got to see his true smiles, that were truly beautiful in her opinion. She got to see him cracking jokes and laughing without any hidden meaning behind it. She got to see him and find out he was the same man she knew, only without those ugly accretions that weren't truly him. The reassurance that the person she cared about and treasured so much was the right one, became lastly so relevant to her.
So in the end, yes, she was exhausted, but at the same time she was proud and content.
She was so immersed in her thoughts, earbuds in her ears didn't help either, that she didn't realize when the subject of them had approach her. Only when he gently tapped her shoulder, did she became aware of his presence.
She jolted slightly in her seat, took earbuds out of her ears and looked up at him.
"What do you want?" . Not even a bit of harshness lingering her question, just a matter-of-factly curiosity.
"Mmm, I was just wondering how's dinner going?" he asked, gripping his stomach, signalizing he'd like to eat as soon as possible.
"Soon. I have left it on the stove to boil." she paused for a moment and then added, "Today's curry."
"Aaah! My favorite! Especially for me?!" he immediately brighten up.
"It's just logical solution, since there's nobody else for a dinner tonight. Don't think too high of it." she smirked at him.
"Mm, but still, you were thinking of me while doing it, right? And aside from everything else, it's you making it after all! Aaah, I can't wait!" a wide smile spread onto his face.
Maybe it was because of her most recent reflections, but she became all of sudden strangely moved by seeing him so childishly excited. She just sat still for a moment, while looking at his face with some kind of nostalgia mixed with proud. Without even realizing it, she reached out her hand and put it gently onto his cheek. Without even further realizing it, she rubbed her thumb gently over corner of his mouth.
It was like she touched a water surface though, because as soon as she did so, his smile wrinkled a little, becoming slightly more awkward. At first second she was saddened that she had ruined it, but she quickly decided that it was a good sign, it meant that he was so natural. Her touch wouldn't disturb surface of a painting after all.
On another note, she had forgotten that the thing she also loved about him having lost his power is the opportunity to see him blush. Just like now. Even if it's just slight, she could easily feel heat rising from his cheeks and she loved this sensation of having him right under her hand, all flustered and alive.
"What are you doing?" came out from him a little cracked, he's averting his eyes. It did brought her back from her some kind of trans, to some degree, but not fully. She realized she was touching him, but was somewhat still too moved to realize it was something not exactly usual or appropriate.
"I just… like to feel it is so real." He looked at her, a bit of shock and confusion clearly painted on his face before he started giggling, his body shook lightly and so she was forced to took her hand away.
"Hahaha! Yeah, that's so much like leader!"
"Mm, whatever. Well, come on." she got up from the couch "Curry should be already cooked. It's time to eat."
"Yes, ma'am!" he abruptly stood on his feet joyfully and quickly followed her to the kitchen.
When they entered the kitchen there could be heard sound of curry bumping around in the pot, signalizing it was indeed already cooked. The tasty aroma of spicy dish was all around the place.
Kido tasted curry to be sure if it was really ready and afterward, content with the result, she turned off the spot. As Kano had already seated himself at the table, she took two plates out of the cupboard and put quite a good deal of portion on both of them. She handed one to Kano and put another at her seat. She then grabbed two spoons from the drawer, one for her and one for Kano and joined him at the table. He grabbed his spoon vigorously and shouted.
"Itadakimasu!" Then without any further delaying started eating energetically. She stared at him for a moment before starting eating as well.
"You like it?" she asked after a while with amused smile, seeing how he was devouring his portion, while munching audibly.
"Yes! It's delicious as always!" he answered cheerfully and after a moment added, a bit more solemnly, "Thank you."
She was actually surprised by such sudden show of gratitude, but didn't give it much thought.
"You're welcome. But you don't have to thank me, really. I make you dinner every day, it's not such a big deal."
She proceeded to continue eating, but then he spoke again.
"No, it actually is. I didn't mean just curry, you know? I meant for everything"
She looked at him dumbfounded, not really sure what she should say. She was actually glad he was grateful, but was too surprised by it. Before she managed to find proper words, he continued talking.
"Kido… I… was thinking a lot lately… about how lastly everything's changing. Not only the world outside and not only this… this nightmare has ended, but the Dan also has changed a lot. We've spent a lot of time together and all, but since the end of the Summer we… somewhat separated ourselves from each other…" he stopped eating some time ago and for a while now he was using his spoon only for jabbing rice on his plate . For a moment, she wanted to remark him that one shouldn't play with their food, but honestly he looked like he was going to explode or something if he wouldn't be doing so, so she decided to not interfere him. "…Hibiya went back to the countryside along with this girl…, Mom's sister. Nee-chan's spending more time with her friends now to catch up with time they've lost… Some of them even thinking of continuing study… Seto and Mary also started spending more time along together… And there are we… who haven't changed at all…"
"You've changed." she offered kindly, to which he jolted slightly in surprise, signalizing it apparently wasn't the point.
"Um, thank you, but… it's not what I meant. And I didn't mean it in a… bad way actually. What I meant is that we… still live together, spend whole days together, eat every meal together, say our greetings every morning, "good night" every night and… I…" another interesting thing she noticed and hadn't exactly had occasion to earlier, was that his ears would become extremely fast red when his embarrassed and desperately try to hide it. "…and I… realized lately that I don't want this to ever end. I never noticed before how… much it means to me… To be able to see you every morning before you get ready or be wake up by the smell of breakfast your making, to spend evening till late together when none of us want to go to sleep, to help you with all the daily things while you helping me… I… I really don't want this to ever end like everything does. Passes away. I want this to stay the same. I want us to stay together forever…" he stopped talking and she thought she could see tears in his eyes. It may be because of bad lighting though.
"B-But if you don't want to then it's ok!" he started all of sudden again with completely different attitude. "Really! I would make it alone and I'm more than sure that you would too, s-so it's not like it's beneficial or anything. It's just… it's just what I wanted to say. Um… never mind…" with that he went back to eating his portion, almost literally diving into rice placed on his plate, bending above it and in the process hiding his eyes behind the bangs utterly.
After a silent while she spoke up.
"Kano… " she stopped for a moment to take a deep breath before continuing. It wasn't easy after all to say what she wanted, but if he had shared his true feelings with her, then she needed to be fair and do the same thing for him. So she hadn't done it before only because saying those things wasn't easy, but also because she needed a bit of more time to reconsider everything to be sure that what she'd say would be a truth. Well, at this point she was pretty sure though. "…I… actually feel the same way. I also want to stay together. With you. Over a month I learnt to accept changes, but this is actually the only thing I never want to change."
Her words had seemingly froze him, he hadn't react in any way for a while, but then he lifted his head and looked right into her eyes.
"Really?" His own were shining now and it wasn't because of tears. Or maybe it was. Either way his eyes held so much light right now.
She smiled when their gazes met. "Yea, really. Now finish your meal before it becomes cold."
'Yes, ma'am!" he shouted, full of energy again and proceeded to obey what he was told to.
Their confessions were indirect, not specific, general. But it was enough for them. They didn't need specific words, they didn't need to pursue the topic. Even if no one else would make a sense out of it, they did, because they knew each other for so long, so well, and it's all that mattered. It was just their own way.
When the night had come and when they said each other a "good night", before they parted to their rooms, he planted a soft kiss on her cheek. She was a bit shocked at first, but accepted it willingly. A subtle tint of pink rose on her cheeks, as she watched him walk away to his room, her hand touching the place where his lips landed not so much time ago. When he vanished into darkness of his room, she walked off to her own as well. They weren't separated long though, because at the cold September nights like that, they always seek for each other warmth.
And that will never change.
A/N: Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed that ^^
It's not my first fanfic, but it is first one uploaded here. So I'd love too know your opinion and if you noticed any errors, I'd be grateful if you took time to tell me. English is not my native language, so that would be very helpful to me :)