i had a snow day today. and i was bored, so i decided to whip up this little bit of angsty nonsense.
the only part i really like is the third paragraph, the part about lucy.
whatever.
ummmm. the song is crossing the frame by coheed & cambria.
yoooou should review, i suppose. because those are kinda cool.

oh, but i wish that you were

Jude doesn't really belong here anymore, and he knows it. He's been gone for… well, forever, and everyone's been getting on just fine without him. It's true, he's not back here by choice, but it certainly would have been nice for the whole of England to wait up for him while he was away. Just in case, you know. But that is obviously not what's happened. The only things that haven't changed are his job (monotonous as ever) and his mother (still worried about him, all the damn time).

Oh, but, Molly. Therein lies his biggest mistake. She loved him, but he left her, for greener pastures, for 'a break from the yards', forLucy.

Lucy, who was nothing but subtle curves and pretty love songs. Lucy, who would've walked from New York to Vietnam, if it only meant bringing her brother home safe. Lucy, who taught him to skip and spin and love and live. Lucy, who is all the way back in America right now.

So, when Molly asks, "What was her name?" Jude knows exactly what she means, although he's a bit taken aback by how forward she is with her question.

"..Who?"

"The reason you stopped writing." She's so matter-of-fact with her words, and Jude was expecting her to be a bit more emotional. But she doesn't show anything at all. Not even anger.

"Her name was Lucy. It was… it was good for a while, you know. It all seems a bit unreal."

And she responds, like she's condemning him… like she's reminding him that no one ever thought he'd make it over there anyway… like she's proving to him that he's only ostracized himself by trying to get away. "Is this real enough for you?"

Yeah, he supposes it is.

And here comes Phil Scully… Jude assures Molly that, yeah, he's glad to be back and yeah, he couldn't be happier. Before she's ushered away by a rather territorial-looking Phil, Jude's sure he can see a look in her eyes but— it's gone before he can decide what he thinks she's thinking. He watches her walk away, and Jude can't help thinking that he could've been the one with his arm around her shoulder. There's no doubt that he would have been, if he hadn't left.

Lucy was a beautifully fleeting dream, but this was the reality that Jude has always known he had to come back to. He should've known.

the way that you would've been
if i stayed here at home